Kendra blew out a sigh of relief. “I canna tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that.” When they heard a faint beep, she chuckled. “We’ll talk more later. Your ride is here.”
Naomi grabbed her backpack in one hand and the cooler in the other. “Danke, Kendra. Thank you for understanding. I’ll see you at the shop tonight.”
“Don’t hurry. I’ll be all right if you want to do something fun after school.”
There was no way she was going to blow off her sister. “I’ll be there,” she promised again before rushing out the door.
As she’d hoped, Kane was standing outside his Jeep. He had on a pair of faded jeans, tennis shoes, and a slightly wrinkled long-sleeved T-shirt. He was also wearing a smile, which widened when he saw she was carrying her cooler.
“Hey,” he said as he met her halfway and pulled the cooler out of her grasp. “Oh, wow. This thing is pretty heavy. I think your lunches are getting bigger.”
“I might have packed some extra food for you.”
He put the cooler in the back of his Jeep. “You did, huh?”
Her sister’s warning rang in her head as she climbed in her seat. “If you want to do something else for lunch, that’s okay. I mean, I bet you want to sit with your friends.”
After he buckled his seat belt, he backed out of Kendra’s driveway. “I don’t need to do that. I was with most of them for five hours last night.” He looked over his shoulder, wincing slightly with the motion. “Plus, I’m so sore, all I want to do at lunch is sit in here with you and relax.” He raised an eyebrow. “That okay with you?”
“Jah. Now, don’t keep me waiting any longer. Did the college scout show up?”
“Yep.”
“And? What happened?”
Slowly, the biggest smile appeared on his face. “It was awesome. Coach Emerson let me start after all, and I played my heart out.”
Naomi wished she could have seen it, but she knew Kendra would have worried about her being there on her own. “And?”
He chuckled. “And he stayed after the game and talked to me and our coach. And my parents, too. He didn’t make any promises, but I think things are looking really good.”
“Kane, that’s great.”
“Yeah, it really is. I can hardly believe it. I never thought I’d get to go to college.” He shook his head. “Has anything so hard to believe ever happened to you?”
“Jah.” Getting picked up by one of the cutest boys she’d ever met fell into that category for sure. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Me, too. I mean, I’m relieved. I didn’t want to fumble and embarrass myself, you know?”
“Since I don’t really know what fumble means, I’m gonna say no. But I get the gist of it.”
He smiled again. “That’s good enough for me.”
* * *
“Where are you headed, Law?” Shawn asked.
“Out to my Jeep.” He didn’t want to say any more. He knew Naomi was going to be heading that way in a couple of minutes, if she wasn’t there already. “I’ll see ya later.”
“Hold on.” Shawn sidestepped so he was blocking Kane’s way. “What are you doing? We’re all going over to Jackson’s house to watch the tapes. Don’t you remember?”
“I remember. I’ll be there in about an hour.”
“An hour? Wait, are you going to be with that girl again?”
“Her name is Naomi, and yeah. I’ve gotta go.” When he started walking toward the double doors leading out to the senior parking lot, Shawn kept pace beside him.
“Don’t you think you’re going a little crazy about that girl?”
“All I’m doing is driving her home.”
“And picking her up. And eating lunch with her.” Shawn smirked. “What’s her deal?”
“There isn’t a ‘deal.’ I just like her. That’s all.” Seeing that Naomi was now walking across the parking lot from the opposite direction, Kane said, “I’ve got to go.”
“Fine, but I hope she knows you’re not going to be around for her much longer. I mean, you’ve got plans, right? You don’t want to have a girl messing that up.”
Kane merely raised a hand as he kept walking. Shawn’s comment wasn’t worth a reply, especially since he didn’t agree with him. He didn’t know what exactly was going on with Naomi and him, but he was sure that he wasn’t in any hurry to stop seeing her.
“Nanny!”
She drew to an abrupt stop, giving him a look that was so horrified, he laughed. “Kane, don’t call me that.”
He picked up his pace, darting through a pair of parked cars, and was by her side in less than a minute. “Why? It’s adorable.”
“It’s awful.”
“That might be your opinion—”
“It is.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong. I like calling you that.” He unlocked his Jeep and flicked a switch so Naomi’s side unlocked, too. “Come on, let’s get going.”
When she slid in beside him, he said, “I know you’ve got to get to your sister’s, but you want to get a Coke or something?”
Her blue eyes widened. “Do you have time?”
“Time for a pop. What about you?”
“I have time for a pop, too.” She smiled. “Danke.”
He smiled back as he drove her out of the parking lot, determined not to think about his future or Shawn’s warning. It was warm, the sky was bright blue, and he had Naomi by his side.
As far as he was concerned, that was all that mattered.
NINETEEN
“I wasn’t real happy to be putting on Andy’s clothes. They were too big, and it felt weird to show so much of my legs. But I wasn’t really thinking about modesty too much. See, the real problem was that I have a bad scar on my leg, and I had some pretty bad bruises on me, too. But I decided I’d rather have Andy Warner see my cuts and bruises instead of thinking I smelled.”
MONDAY
Kendra was so glad she’d decided to start closing the shop on Mondays. She needed a day to do laundry and clean her little house from top to bottom, and now that she had a younger sister to look after, she liked to spend a few moments being home alone, just relaxing with a cup of hot tea and a book.
She’d always done her best to be organized, but her new venture meant that she always had paperwork to check and banking to do. Yes, it was a lot, but she was doing her best, that was for sure and for certain. And today? Well, so far, it was proving to be a mighty good day. She’d made banana bread early that morning and had even managed to send off two big slices with Naomi and Kane, who seemed content to pick Naomi up every morning.
Kendra also had fresh laundry hanging on the line outside, had already cut up a chicken that was soaking in buttermilk before she would fry it that afternoon, and had changed the sheets on both her and Naomi’s beds.
Pleased with all of her accomplishments, she decided it was time to relax for a bit, especially since a new library book was calling her name. After cutting a slice of bread and placing it neatly on a plate, she sat down, feeling a sense of peace that had eluded her during her childhood.
Of course, she wasn’t even sure if she’d longed for peace in those days. Mostly, she’d just tried to take care of her siblings, avoid her father, and keep everyone fed. More often than not, she’d failed at all three things. Her younger brothers and sisters would go to bed hungry, she’d be sporting a welt from whatever her father had decided to hit her with, and she’d be overwhelmed with schoolwork.
No, back then, her sense of peace had come from being around her friends or in the pages of a book.
Annoyed with herself for letting those sad memories intrude on her sunny day, she motioned for Blue to hop up next to her, opened up the book, and slowly read the first page of the next chapter. She’d never be a good reader, but she did enjoy a good story.
She’d read only a few pages when two raps on the front door interrupted her.
Blue ran to the door, barking.
“It’s all ri
ght, Blue. No need to get excited.” Sure one of her girlfriends from the Eight had come to visit, Kendra opened the door without looking through the window.
And immediately regretted that decision.
Her brothers, Jeremiah and Chris, were standing on her stoop. And in between them was their mother, wearing a faded gray dress hanging on her slight frame and old black tennis shoes.
Kendra blinked. She hadn’t seen her mother in years. Unfortunately, those years hadn’t been kind to her. Her hair was already gray, her skin looked sallow, and there were too many lines on a face that hadn’t even seen forty-five yet.
As if Blue sensed her mood, she growled.
Kendra picked her up and cuddled her close. “It’s all right,” she said, though she wasn’t sure if she was reassuring herself or her pet.
Jeremiah stepped forward. “Kendra, are you all right?”
No, she didn’t think she was. But she was old enough now not to let her discomfort show. “I’m fine, Jeremiah. Just surprised to see you. Hello, Chris.”
Chris’s expression warmed. “Hello, sweetheart.” Before she knew what was happening, he enfolded her—and Blue—into his arms. “It’s been too long.”
She leaned close and hugged him back. “You are such a man now,” she said with a laugh. “Whenever I think about you, I only see a boy who was impatiently waiting for his growth spurt.”
Chuckling, he pulled back, keeping his hands around her waist. “I should’ve listened to you, girl. I don’t know how many times you told me to be patient.”
“Too many to count,” she said with a smile. “You look gut, Chris. Happy.” He was an Englischer now, and wearing a black sweater, jeans, and tennis shoes. Most importantly, he looked comfortable with himself. That was all she’d ever prayed for them. To survive their childhood and eventually lead happy, healthy lives.
“You look good, too. As pretty as ever.”
“Hardly that.”
“Always,” Chris countered before glancing at Jeremiah and then their mother.
It took everything Kendra had to finally meet her gaze.
Rosanna Troyer licked her bottom lip. “Are you ever going to acknowledge me?”
“All right. Hello, Rosanna.”
“You can’t call me that. I’m your mother.”
“Nee. You might have given birth to me, but you did not mother me or my brothers and sisters. I promised myself I’d never call you mother or mamm ever again.”
Jeremiah, ever the peacemaker, sighed. “Kendra, we came over for a reason. May we come in?”
Peeved that they had shown up at her house unannounced and then acted surprised when she wasn’t more gracious, Kendra turned around and strode down the hall. “I’m going to put up Blue,” she called out, not caring what they thought. She needed a moment to grasp what was happening. Her brothers had brought their mother to her door and were now escorting her inside. She felt like screaming. She’d never wanted her parents to even know where she lived.
She did deep breathing exercises as she set Blue on her bed, then closed her bedroom door. When she felt composed again, she returned to her family, who were all standing around her small living room.
She folded her hands together. “What is going on?”
“Sit down, Mamm,” Chris said.
With a weary sigh, their mother sat down on the sofa. Chris took a seat in the lone chair, and Jeremiah took the spot next to Rosanna, leaving Kendra the only one without a place to sit. Usually, she would pull over one of her kitchen chairs, but she remained standing. She was too agitated to sit down.
“Now would be a gut time for one of you to tell me why you are here.”
Chris answered. “I got a call from Jeremiah yesterday. He told me Daed was in the hospital.”
Their mother remained silent, so Jeremiah continued. “Mamm stopped by the lumberyard to tell me, so I called Mary from work.”
“Did you get hold of her?” Though she saw Chris and Jeremiah every now and then, they rarely saw Mary, who had moved up to Cleveland.
“Jah,” Jeremiah replied. “We talked.”
She noticed that he didn’t mention that Mary would be rushing into town to see their father. Kendra would have been shocked if she was, for Mary’s life hadn’t been any better than hers had been in that house.
Kendra waited to feel something—a sense of loss, sadness, even worry. Instead, all she felt was irritation that they’d brought this news to her living room, her private space. “I don’t know why you brought her over here to tell me this, Jeremiah.”
Her mother inhaled sharply, but it was Chris who gave her the information she’d asked for. “Because Daed, who’d been losing weight, started developing sores on his body that wouldn’t heal. He collapsed two days ago and was taken to the hospital. His whole body is riddled with disease.”
“The doktah doesn’t know if he’ll make it more than another day or two,” Jeremiah concluded. “His liver has shut down, and his heart doesn’t look good, either.”
Her father was about to die. Soon.
Once again, Kendra waited to feel something. But she couldn’t feel anything but relief that she’d never have to see him again. “I see. Thank you for telling me.”
“That is all you can say?” Rosanna blurted.
Each word felt like pins being stuck into her bare skin. “It is not. But it’s unlikely you’re gonna want to hear anything else that’s on my mind,” Kendra replied. “Now, if you will all excuse me, I have other things to do.”
Chris stood up. “Kendra, we came here because we thought you might want to go to the hospital to see him. I’ve got my car. I could take you.”
As far as she was concerned, he might as well have just asked her if she wanted to go to Hawaii to learn how to hula dance. “Chris, have you gone?”
He nodded.
“And you have, too, Jeremiah?”
“I did. Mary said she is going to go tonight.”
“I see.” She took a deep breath. “Let Mary know that she’s welcome to stop by if she has time.”
Her mother surged to her feet. “That is it?” she asked incredulously. “That is all you can say? Kendra, he is your father.”
The last of Kendra’s tight clamp on her emotions broke free. “I still have a six-inch scar on my thigh from when I was locked in the shed for two days,” she said, her voice trembling. “Do you remember that, Rosanna? Do you remember that I was seven and that I was locked in there as punishment for not doing all the dishes good enough?” She laughed darkly. “At least, I think that was the reason. Or was it? Was there ever a reason? I was scared. I was hurt. That gash, it got dirty and infected, and I got so sick. I was so very sick.”
While her brothers stared in shock, Kendra stepped closer to her mother. Rosanna still smelled the same—slightly musty, like old laundry and cheap soap.
“Do you remember that, Muddah?” she asked, letting the word ooze with sarcasm. “Do you remember how sick I was? How I got a terrible fever and my leg swelled to almost twice its size?” She lowered her voice. “Or do you only remember what you did?”
Her mother swallowed hard.
Kendra swiped a hand over her leaking eyes. “You did nothing. You let me cry in that shed in the dark. You didn’t help me clean up when I finally got out. You surely didn’t take me to the doctor. It was only when I went to school that I got care. My teacher took one look at me and brought me to the clinic. The nurse ended up taking me to a doctor’s office to get shots and medicine.” Her voice trembled. “She let me sleep in her little office because she knew I couldn’t go home. She knew my father was evil and my mother didn’t care about me.”
Chris walked to her, tried to hug her. She knew it wasn’t fair, but she pulled away. “Christopher, I know you were little. I know you don’t remember that. But I do.”
Turning to her mother, she shook her head. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t forget. I had to live in that house for another six years because someone had to take
care of my four younger siblings.”
She turned to Jeremiah. “I wasn’t the only one who got hurt. Don’t you remember when you broke your arm? Nee, when he broke your arm?”
“Of course I remember,” Jeremiah said. “But we should forgive, Kendra.”
“If you can forgive, I’m happy for you. I cannot forgive either of them.” She took a fortifying breath. “At least, not today.”
“You don’t know what my life was like,” Rosanna said. “I did the best I could.”
Though both of her brothers’ expressions softened, Kendra only got angrier. “I don’t believe that. You never helped me, Rosanna. All you did was give up… on all of us.”
The tension in the room tightened. Feeling it, hating it, Kendra released a ragged sigh. “I’m sorry, boys, but the fact of the matter is I know I’m supposed to care that our father is in the hospital, but I don’t understand why you would ever think I would want to see him again.”
“All right, then,” Chris said. “Now, where’s Naomi? Mommi and Dawdi said she’s living here now.”
“She’s at school.”
“She’s too old for school,” their mother said.
“Naomi is Mennonite now.” Unable to help herself, Kendra added, “She’s also very smart. She’s taking all honors classes. She even has a chance to get an academic scholarship for college.”
“Tell her about your father,” Rosanna said. “I’m sure she’ll want to see him.”
“I will let Nanny know.”
Her mother’s face was pinched. “Daughter, forgiveness is a virtue.”
“Indeed it is. I hope our father will find a way to ask God for forgiveness.”
“Let’s go, Mamm,” Jeremiah said, escorting her out the door.
Chris lagged behind. “Kendra, I know Mamm feels really bad about how she treated you. For what it’s worth, we all know you were the one who really raised us.”
“Chris, don’t you understand? I’m not seeking acknowledgment—or praise—for that. I know I raised you. I loved you, and I am glad I helped you all as much as I could. But the problem is I still can’t be okay with how that impacted my own childhood. Too much happened.”
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