“I guess I should agree to see him, shouldn’t I?” I held my breath and waited for his answer. I was facing away from him, on the edge of the bed, curled into a ball.
“That’s up to you, darling.” He sighed and rolled over to me. He didn’t pull me to face him, or move me in any way; he just curled around me, and that might have been the best hug he’d ever given me. He was there for me, and he would accept whatever I decided, that hug told me. His left arm was under his head, but his right wrapped around my stomach, and I tensed all over again.
I had to tell him about the baby, a baby he’d helped create. He had a right to know, and he would. Just as soon as I faced my fear. I also had this other matter to deal with, and right now, it looked as if I had far more time to deal with the baby situation than I did the family situation.
Which only reminded me of how much I wanted to talk to Jessi.
“I really miss my sister-in-law, Jessi. She was my best friend throughout our lives. Things changed when she married my brother, and I can’t be mad at her for that. Marriage changes you, and babies change you even more. Well, changes your priorities anyway.”
I let the sentence hang, mainly because I realized what I’d just said. I’d been so upset with her for forgetting me, but that was my problem. She’d moved on with her life, and I couldn’t blame her for that. I had my own little bun in the oven to prove how much a baby could change your life. I’d only just found out about mine, and already the world had changed.
The true impact, and all of the things that would change, hadn’t truly occurred to me yet, but they were starting to dawn on me. I was about to bring another human being into the world, and I was excited about that, but the rest, I dreaded. The hardest part would be telling Dylan that he was going to be a father. That kept me quiet for a long time. How was I supposed to break this to him?
Scenarios played out in my head. Cute little ways to reveal the fact seemed to be for families, married couples, or people who had been together far longer than we’d been. For people not on birth control. I couldn’t even remember how far along the doctor said I was, it was that much of a shock.
It might only be two weeks, or it could have been more. I knew that baby must have been determined to be born, though. It hadn’t been long since I’d missed my shot, and I’d only been on the migraine medicine for a short while. I’d read in the literature I’d been given that it could take a woman six months to get pregnant after the shot wore off.
Which was another reason I hadn’t been too worried about the whole situation. Of course, it wasn’t the most responsible thing in the world to have forgotten to get my shot renewed, but I was new to all of this. I’d thought I was being so grownup when I got the shot, and then I read all the material like an adult should; then, I’d gone and fucked up on my very first round.
I knew pills like antibiotics could make the birth control fail, but I hadn’t realized there were so many others that could do it. Now, I couldn’t sleep because I had to figure out how in the world I was going to tell Dylan.
Which was all the more reason to connect with the family, wasn’t it? I could get advice from my sisters-in-law about this. They’d all married my brothers, and that had taken some courage, in my opinion. Not a one of them were easy to get along with, and each one had their foibles. Obviously, in the case of Trent.
I thought it would take an awfully long time to forgive and forget in his case. The rest? Well, they’d driven me away without even realizing it. Maybe I’d been a little bit unfair to them. I breathed out completely, my head a mess and my heart hurting.
I put my hand over Dylan’s arm, flat across my stomach. I knew the man I’d met, so determined to make me get on my knees and submit to him, had become someone else since that night. He wasn’t so desperate for control now, he didn’t seem as … lost. He knew what he wanted, he always had, even back then.
I didn’t think he’d quite counted on what he wanted changing into something he’d never experienced before. I scoffed softly at that thought. It pleased me to know that I’d tamed my raging bull. A little bit, at least. I didn’t want him to be a different man, not at all. I’d been attracted to that wild, yet controlled, man he’d been when I'd first met him.
I loved him, and I thought I knew him well enough now to know that he would probably accept what had happened and deal with it, but then again, it might be what would tip him over the edge. It wasn’t that I feared being alone through this; I’d face raising my child alone if it came down to it.
It would be shattering the relationship that Dylan and I had that would break me. If he thought I’d done this on purpose and ended our relationship, he’d be ending his own chance at a life he was only starting to realize he'd wanted. Well, not all men wanted children, but I had a feeling Dylan would come around to the idea. After all, he hadn’t wanted our relationship, and look where we were now.
If he did end the relationship, though, I would mourn for what he’d lost more than what I’d lose. I might be able to give love another chance one day, maybe, but him? He’d hide in his rooftop penthouse and would never attempt it again. So this was far more than just ‘oops, I’m pregnant, baby’. This was ‘we might have fucked up in a huge way’.
I kept picturing that little boy he used to be, alone after the fire was put out, being driven away in a stranger’s car. That little boy deserved love back then, and the grown man deserved it now. In the end, it would be up to him to decide what he wanted more—a future where he was protected from life’s fuck ups, or one where we got to enjoy them together.
Dylan
I stared at the row of medicine on my desk and thought about the fact that I still hadn’t told Emily what was wrong with me. I’d meant to, but the right time just never seemed to crop up. It wasn’t something you could simply drop on purpose, was it?
Hi, Emily. I know we’ve just moved in together, and I know this is a huge step for both of us, but, well, I might soon become very ill. The kind that might require medical care and a lot of time in bed. Not in that way we are used too. The kind that might kill me.
My gut clenched on that last thought, and I grabbed the pills to pop them in my mouth. I swallowed them with a bottle of orange juice and swept the bottles into my desk. Emily never came in here, so I kept them in there, hidden away.
My phone chirped, as if she knew I was thinking about her, and I saw a text from her. She wanted to know if it was alright if she met with her brother’s wife. Of course, it was, these people were her family.
Although, I had told her time and time again that she should give the reunion a try. I wouldn’t trust Trent Thompson as far as I could throw him, but he was her brother. She was from a large family and knew how integral they were in her life. I had come from a tiny family; even after my adoption, there’d only been three of us. Emily’s family was huge in comparison, and with the children her brothers had spawned there were a lot more Thompsons to go around. She deserved to be a part of that. Even if I did think Trent was an asshole.
She’d told me she’d cut them out of her life because they’d come to take her for granted. I could understand her reasoning, but Trent had taken it too far. He’d disowned her when she’d started a relationship with me. That simply wasn’t fair, and I might be many things, but unfair wasn’t one of them. I tapped at icons until the phone began to call Emily.
“Hi, baby.” I heard her purr down the line and smile. She wasn’t too upset then.
“Hiya, Emily. Listen, why don’t you invite your sister-in-law to lunch, and I’ll fend for myself. It’s a baby step. She’s family through marriage alone, and she can help you test the waters.”
“I’m afraid, Dylan. I just don’t want to get sucked back into their bullshit, you know?”
“So stand your ground, darling. Tell them to back off when they overstep their bounds. Walk away if they can’t respect that. Show them that you aren’t to be trifled with.”
“That can be easier said than done.” I
heard her sigh and frowned.
“Emily, you had me in a room, your toy for a good hour, as you let another man watch me fuck you. If you can manage that, you can manage your family. Just face them with that same resolve, my dear. You’ll have them eating out of your palm.”
The urge to tell her I loved her suddenly overwhelmed me, and I had to blink a few times. I wasn’t sure where that came from, but as she vacillated on the other end of the line, I knew I did. I knew I cared about her, thought I might love her, but it suddenly became profoundly clear that I did love this woman.
“You can rest easy knowing that if any of them break your heart, baby, I will break their face. Or ruin them, whichever comes first.”
“Oh, don’t be violent, Dylan,” she started, but I chuckled, and she knew I wasn’t too serious. Only a little. “I know you’ll be there for me. Otherwise, I’d burn the letter and get on with my life.”
“Good. Now make your plans; I have work to do,” she agreed and hung up. I sat at the desk, stunned at myself.
I was in love, for the very first time in my life. Completely in love. Not a little bit, a whole lot. I frowned. Was it fair to Emily, this love of mine? She’d obviously come to rely on me as a partner, a confidant, and respected my opinion when it came to her decisions. The problem I had was I’d failed to be upfront with her about my health. It wasn’t something she could catch from me, but it would impact our quality of life.
Perhaps I’d been a bit delusional asking her to move in with me. It would make it harder to keep from her, if I didn’t soon tell her. Fuck, so many things suddenly occurred to me that I kind of felt like an idiot. Things that should have been clear the moment I’d asked her for that second contract.
I should have walked away. I should have left her to her life. She would have found someone who could love her and give her the guarantee of a future. Instead, I’d been selfish. I’d wanted her with me. I’d wanted her.
Now I had her, for however long that might be. I didn’t think she’d abandon me once she found out what was wrong; Emily wasn’t that kind of person. She would stick by me and do whatever it took to help me. I didn’t want her to do that alone.
Which was what had really made my stomach twist into a knot. I wouldn’t be able to let her go, not now that she was so important to me. And at some point, she’d need support from someone who wasn’t me, because she’d be taking care of me. She needed her family, and it didn’t matter how much I might hate Trent for the way he’d treated us both; he was her brother.
That meant I had to hide my animosity behind a smile and fake it for her. I could do that, I decided. I could do whatever it took to make sure Emily would be taken care of, if there would come a day when I couldn’t do it.
It wasn’t quite what I’d expected to happen when I came to Myrtle Beach to look for a place to set up here. I’d planned to go back to Kansas and then maybe to wander around the west coast until it was time to focus on this place. All of that had changed when I met Emily. She’d changed a lot of things for me.
“Hey, you want to come down and see me for a bit, before you wander off for the day?” I texted to her. As expected, it took only seconds to get a response.
“On my way.” She’d even put in a smiley face emoji.
A few minutes later she was opening my door, a big smile on her face. She had on a pair of faded jeans that fit her snugly, a dark blue tank top that fanned out around her hips, and a pair of sandals. She was ready for a casual lunch and not a day at work. Which was fine, she could do as she pleased and wear whatever she liked, whether at work or not.
“You look lovely,” I said as she came to sit in my lap. I brushed an ash blonde streak of hair out of her eyes and kissed her chin. “How are you?”
“I’m not too bad. Why did you want to see me?” Her lips were tracing up to my ear from my chin, and her hot breath on my neck was doing things I didn’t have time to act on.
I could make time.
“I just wanted to see you; do I have to have a reason?” I looked up into her eyes, gray like mine, but so different. Hers sparkled with silver and were a lighter color than mine.
“No, I suppose not.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and snuggled in, my hands on her waist to keep her in place.
“Are you going to meet your sister-in-law?” I prodded, as she didn’t volunteer the information.
“No, I have reservations made at one of my favorite places with Roxie in a couple of hours. I was about to cancel but changed my mind. I’ll ask Jessi to meet me there in a couple of days. At least if the lunch doesn’t go well, I can have some good food.”
“Why wouldn’t it go well?”
“I don’t know. Jessi might try to brush it all away and not see my side of things. She might take Trent’s side…”
“Is it fair to make her take sides?” It was only a question, not an indictment, and she pondered it quietly before she responded.
“Maybe not, but I refuse to go into this without knowing where I stand. If it’s going to end up the same way in a few months, or if they expect me to just become their nanny again, what’s the point? I want them all to know that.”
“You have a job now, and a relationship; you can’t be at their beck and call anyway.”
“No, that privilege is reserved for you now.” She kissed the tip of my nose and grinned at me. “You’re right. I have things to do, and they have to respect that. Which is my point; they have to respect me this time, or I’ll walk away for good. Only this time, I won’t think twice about throwing away any letters that might come my way.”
“Good girl, stand your ground.” I kissed her forehead and pulled her face up to kiss her. “I hope it all works out for you, darling. You deserve to have as much love as you can get, you know?”
I heard her breath hitch in her throat, and she looked away. Was that hurt in her eyes, or just confusion?
“Emily? What’s wrong? What did I say?” I pulled her face back to mine and looked at her closely.
“Nothing.” She swiped at a tear and smiled a wobbly smile. “Sometimes, you are the sweetest man in the world, do you know that?”
“No, I’m not.” I chuckled but meant it. “I don’t think I’m sweet at all, but you’d know more about that than me.”
“You are. You deserve some love too, you know?” She wouldn’t look at me at first, but then she did.
Her eyes were clear, without any sadness. “Do I?”
I wasn't sure why I asked the question, but I was curious to know her answer.
“Of course, you do, Dylan. We all do. You’re not a monster. You might need a dozen people to kiss your ass and tell you how wonderful you are, but you do deserve to be loved. By at least one person.”
“I see.” I didn’t want to ask her, but I could see it in her eyes.
Was it possible she loved me as much as I loved her?
“Good. Do you want me to bring you something back for lunch?” She let it all go, just like that, and didn’t push.
She knew the relationship we had was unconventional, but she didn’t complain about it. She accepted it and didn’t push for more. Which was one of the reasons I loved her. She’d given me time to.
“No, I’ll find something at home. You go and enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about me.” I let the moment go, the same way she did, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before we both circled back to it. It was inevitable by now.
Emily
“It’s all changed, I take it?” Roxie’s bright blue eyes flashed at me across the table and I wanted to scowl at her. Mainly, because she was right.
“You know it has.” I sighed out and was glad the waiter had taken our orders already. It would be a while before he came back.
“Is it bad? Do you need a place to crash?” Roxie’s eyes were filled with concern and just a hint of a menace. “Do I need to pick up my baseball bat?”
“Oh, not at all!” I leaned over and hissed at her. “It’s not Dylan. It’s my … erm, b
rother.”
I looked down at my hands on the table and knew that wasn’t the only problem. The baby was the main problem. I’d been queasy that morning, but it had passed after an hour or so. I was glad to know why I was sick now, but at the same time, the baby made me anxious.
“Hmm. Let me have a look at you.” I saw her squinting at me and suspected she was checking me for bruises. She looked me over, far more thoroughly than she had when we met in the parking lot, and nodded. “I see.”
“You see what, exactly? A woman whose family is insane? A woman with the man of her dreams waiting on her at home, only she has this weird family that won’t leave her alone and keeps fucking things up?”
“Something like that.” If I could ever describe a smile as knowing, it would be the one Roxie had on right now.
“What, are you a fortune teller now?” I grinned to ease the tension I felt in my jaw.
“Maybe. How’s Dylan?” The change of subject made me blink, but I answered her.
“He’s fine. Incredible. Generous. Loving even. Can you believe that? Loving?” I shook my head, confounded. “It’s amazing.”
“Sometimes, all a man needs is a little bit of love to change him. That loosens them right up.” I heard a country twang in her voice but didn’t comment. She was Southern, and you knew it the minute she spoke, but every now and then her voice took on this edge that screamed country girl.
I guessed she’d practiced some to lose that, but I wasn’t about to judge her. My parents paid for elocution lessons to make sure I didn’t sound like a bumpkin. It wasn’t any different, really.
“I would agree in his case. He’s just, well, different, you know?”
“I thought you two would be a good match.” I saw a hint of sadness in her eyes, but then it disappeared. “I almost took him myself, but … well, I was claimed at that point, so you’re a lucky girl, Emily.”
Dark Truth Page 5
