“Excuse you, I go to cooking classes now,” Emily reminded her.
“Yeah, and it’s a miracle you haven’t burned down your apartment yet.”
Emily flipped her off, and Cassie stuck out her tongue.
“Here, you can finish peeling potatoes”—Cassie handed her the knife—“while I go get Mom from the airport. Maia, don’t let her near any open flames.”
“You set a fire one time,” Emily muttered, taking Cassie’s place at the counter. Cassie kissed Maia and slipped out the door.
“You okay, Em?” Maia asked after a few minutes. “You looked a little shaken up when you got here last night. Did something happen?”
Emily frowned at the potato she was peeling, thinking about how to answer.
“You know, I do have experience with getting my heart broken by gorgeous women. And I’m always here if you want to talk.”
“I know.” Emily bit her lower lip, then sighed. “I just feel so stupid, you know? Like I shouldn’t be this hung up on someone who doesn’t want me. I’m not that girl. I’m not the one who gets treated like crap, waiting for crumbs while the other person gets their shit together. That has never been me, and yet here I am.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Maia said reasonably. “If you’re expecting your feelings to evaporate overnight, they’re not going to. And you’re not being stupid. Your heart got broken, and it’s okay to give yourself time to heal.”
“But we weren’t even together.”
“Doesn’t matter. Sometimes, the ‘almosts’ and ‘could- have-beens’ are more painful because of what might have happened. It’s hard to get closure on the dream.”
“So how am I supposed to move on?” Emily asked, her voice breaking, and she hated how vulnerable she sounded. Maia wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.
“Give it time,” Maia said gently. “And try not to think about it too much this weekend.”
“Easier said than done,” Emily muttered, but she vowed to try. She didn’t want to be miserable while her foster mother was in town. “Got anything else to keep me busy?” she asked. She had peeled all of the potatoes.
Maia was kept her occupied, and when Cassie and Sarah arrived, they were sitting down to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Soon they were all squished together on the couch to watch. After, Maia returned to the kitchen to finish up the food, waving off any offer of help.
Sarah scooted closer to Emily on the couch and slipped an arm around her shoulders. “So, sweetheart, how is everything? Are you settling in okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s great.” Emily was not about to spill the details of her love life to her foster mother.
“You like it here?”
“Yeah, I do.” She had fallen in love with New York the first time she visited Cassie and had soon decided to move there herself. “I’m actually thinking of staying a while longer—I’ve applied for the master’s program at NYU.”
She had only sent in the application a few days ago, finally committing to her future, and hadn’t even told her sister. While she might apply to other colleges too, her mind was already made up.
“You have?” Cassie leaped across the couch to wrap Emily in a tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to wait till I’d actually done it. Thought about waiting until I got accepted, but it could be a while before I hear.”
“You’ll get in,” Cassie and Sarah replied in unison. Their confidence warmed her heart.
“I hope so.” She wasn’t sure what she would do if she didn’t get in, but that was something she could worry about later.
“And your current job?”
“It’s all good.”
Cassie raised her eyebrows, and Emily glared at her.
“Shall I break out the wine?” Emily asked, eager to change the subject, and escaped to grab the bottle and some glasses.
Emily returned to hear Sarah talking about a relative’s engagement, then with a sparkle in her eye, she turned to Cassie and Maia. “Speaking of engagements, am I going to go to a wedding anytime soon?”
“It’s only been two years,” Cassie groaned, standing abruptly and making her way to the kitchen. Emily knew that Sarah had been pestering Cassie about getting married ever since she had met Maia. “We’ll get engaged when we’re ready, Mom,” but she looked at Maia with so much love that Emily’s heart melted, and she suspected they would get engaged sooner rather than later.
“All right, all right.” Sarah held her hands up in defeat, but as she accepted a glass of wine from Emily, she switched gears. “And how about you, Emily? Are you seeing anyone?”
“Nope.”
“No one?”
“I’ve been busy.” She shrugged. “You know, new city, new job and all. Haven’t really had time.”
Sarah quietly sipped her wine, and Emily escaped to the kitchen to avoid further questioning.
“Go away. I’m hiding in here,” Cassie whispered when Emily leaned against the counter next to her and stole a chip from the bag in front of her sister. “I had to endure a whole car ride of questions about my life—now it’s your turn.”
“At least you have your life together.” Emily waved between her and Maia. “Mine is a fiasco.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Oh yeah? You think the news of my giant crush on my older boss with a five-year-old kid will go down well with Sarah?”
“It would definitely make the afternoon interesting.”
Emily threw a chip at Cassie’s head.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. For what it’s worth, though, she probably wouldn’t care.”
“I’m still not telling her about Camila.”
“Probably for the best.”
Emily reached for the chips, but Maia appeared out of nowhere and snatched away the bag.
“Will you two stop snacking? You’ll ruin your appetites.” She looked at them sternly, her hands on her hips. “Now, stop hiding and go spend some time with your mother. She flew all this way to see you.” The sisters glanced at each other, then scurried back to the couch.
When Maia’s Thanksgiving feast was ready, they gathered at the table, and by three o’clock they had eaten their fill. Emily was in a food coma because she never knew when to stop eating. She stretched out on the floor while the other three sank back into the couch, their feet on the coffee table.
After they recovered a bit, it was time for games. Emily teamed up with Sarah against Cassie and Maia, who crushed them at Taboo, and Emily thought how nice it would be to have someone there, a partner, someone she could share her crazy family with.
Her heart ached because she wanted it desperately, even though she didn’t know what it would be like, because she had never brought a partner home, never spent holidays with anyone other than friends and family, so it wasn’t like she knew what she was missing—but she couldn’t help imagining what it would be like if Camila and Jaime were there with her.
It felt like eons since Emily had first extended the offer for Camila and Jaime to join them for Thanksgiving, but they hadn’t talked about it again, hadn’t needed to, because it was clear from the way things had evolved that Camila wouldn’t have come.
The apartment was filled with love and warmth and laughter, and it broke her heart a little to think of Camila spending the holiday with only Jaime, wondering what she would do after he had gone to bed, if she’d be lonely, if she’d find herself again at the bottom of a bottle.
Cassie caught her eye. “Are you okay?” she mouthed from across the room, and Emily realized from Cassie’s frown that her thoughts were written across her face.
She smiled weakly and nodded, forcing the thoughts of Camila away so she could focus on the here and now, on having all the people she loved in the same room.
Maybe next year she’d have someone to hold.
Chapter 16
“Emily!” Jaime thudded into Emily’s legs when she arrived at Camila’s apartment on Monday morning. It was the longest she had gone without seeing him since starting the job. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, buddy.” She mussed up his hair as he beamed up at her. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”
“It was okay.” Jaime shrugged, then went back to playing with his toys. Emily leaned up against the edge of the couch to watch him.
“He liked the parade.”
Emily jumped at the sound of Camila’s voice and whirled around to find her standing a few feet away, her hand on her hip.
She wore a blue blouse with the top two buttons undone, her black skirt clung to her hips, and honestly, it should be illegal for anyone to turn up at work looking like that. How did any of her employees get anything done when Camila looked like a goddess?
She realized she was staring and, clearing her throat, tore her gaze away, mortified at the flush that must be appearing on her cheeks.
“I liked it too. Did you, um, did you have a good weekend?” The last time she was here, Camila had been very drunk, and before that they barely interacted. Emily was no longer sure what was allowed, and she watched Camila warily.
“Yes, thank you. Did you?”
“Yeah, it was nice to see my foster mom.”
Camila’s eyes searched Emily’s face, and she waited to hear an explanation.
“Thank you for staying late the other night,” Camila said finally. Her voice was soft, and Emily wondered if Camila was extending an olive branch. “I’m sure I wasn’t easy to deal with.”
“You don’t remember?”
“Bits and pieces, but not anything specific.” That explained Camila’s careful observation of her—she didn’t know what she had said the other night and was trying to deduce what happened from Emily’s reaction to her.
So it wasn’t an olive branch. Camila was trying to save her own skin. A spark of anger ignited in Emily’s chest.
Let her wonder—Emily wasn’t about to tell Camila what happened or what she said. Let her go crazy thinking about the possibilities, just like Emily had as she desperately tried to figure out how Camila might have ended that damn sentence.
“Well, you didn’t embarrass yourself too badly,” Emily said, keeping her voice light, and when Camila’s lips pursed, she felt vindicated.
Camila hesitated, as if she wanted to press further, but said instead, “I’ve been meaning to ask you about the London trip next month. Are you still available?”
Camila wasn’t really asking about Emily’s availability—what she wanted to know was if Emily still wanted to come, but that would mean acknowledging the night at the bar.
“Of course. I would have told you if I wasn’t.” Although the thought of spending several hours on a plane with Camila and visiting a city she had never been to didn’t thrill her as much as it had when Camila first asked her to go, she wasn’t going to back out now, not when she knew that both Camila and Jaime needed her.
“I’ll have Jessica confirm everything today and pass along the details.” With that, Camila kissed Jaime goodbye and left the two of them alone.
Emily watched Jaime as he played. He was unusually quiet, didn’t say much when she tried to talk to him, and the corners of his mouth were turned down. Clearly something was on his mind. Emily didn’t press—if he wanted to talk, he would in his own time.
Eventually he spoke up. “Did you and my mom have a fight?” He kept his eyes fixed on the Batman action figure in his hands, and she sucked in her breath at the question, surprised he had picked up on the animosity between them.
“What makes you think that?”
“Dunno.” He shrugged, then squinted up at Emily, his bottom lip between his teeth. “You don’t stay long. Or talk. It’s like what happened before Daddy left. Are you getting divorced?”
“You have to be married to get divorced, Jaime.” Emily smiled in spite of herself. She leaned back against the couch, and when Jaime crawled into her lap, she wrapped her arms around him. “And your mom and I aren’t married.”
“Why not?” She had heard him having this exact conversation with Camila, and she was surprised it had taken him so long to bring it up with her.
“You have to be in love to get married,” she told him, tweaking his nose.
He scrunched up his face “You don’t love my mom?”
“She definitely doesn’t love me,” she said, though what she should have said was no, but somehow she couldn’t because, even though she didn’t think she was in love with Camila, she was halfway there, and to deny it would feel too much like a lie.
“Oh.” Jaime looked disappointed. “I love you.” He blinked up at her. “Can I marry you?”
“You’re a little young for me, buddy. Maybe when you’re older.”
“Okay!” He went back to playing, looking much happier; all thoughts of his two favorite people fighting forgotten.
* * *
“What do you mean, there are no spare rooms?” Camila glared at Jessica. The other woman stood in front of Camila’s desk nervously, her tablet clutched in trembling hands.
“Um, well, as you know, I reserved your usual suite a few months ago and reserved a room for myself, but when I called to request an additional room, they said they’re fully booked for the holidays.” Jessica spoke fast when she was nervous, but Camila kept up with her frantic speech. “But, uh, Emily can have my room, and I’ll find another hotel nearby, or an Airbnb. It’s not—”
“Nonsense,” Camila raised her hand. “I need you nearby.”
“But…you need Emily nearby too.”
Camila scowled. “Are you sure they won’t make an exception for me?”
“I tried, but…” Jessica trailed off.
“Get the manager on the phone.” Most people were more amenable when she spoke to them herself rather than her assistant, and Jessica returned to her desk and patched the call through a few moments later.
“Ms. Evans.” The manager used his best customer service voice. “I’m sorry about this, but as I told Ms. Morgan, we have no rooms available—”
“Not a single one?” Camila asked. The hotel was huge and expensive, and there was no way it could be full, regardless of the time of the year. “Hell, I’d even take a broom closet, if you have one.”
“We have no vacancies.”
Camila gritted her teeth.
“But if I could remind you, your suite has two bedrooms and can sleep four.”
Camila was well aware of that fact. Her original plan had been for Emily to stay with her, close to Jaime, which was why Jessica hadn’t reserved something earlier. But in light of recent events, she thought Emily might be more comfortable in her own room.
Now it looked like they would have to share close quarters for the entire time they were in London.
Not ideal.
“That will have to do, then,” Camila replied, her voice clipped. “Thank you.” She hung up, muttering under her breath.
Jessica knocked timidly on her door, and Camila glanced up. Jessica hovered whenever Camila was in a mood.
“Any luck?”
“No.” Camila rubbed her temples. She had a vicious headache coming on. “Emily will have to stay in my suite.”
“Oh well, at least she has somewhere. I’m going to book the flight next. Do you want Emily up in first class with you and Jaime, or coach with me?”
Camila considered. She didn’t want Emily too close, but Jaime would have a tantrum if she wasn’t nearby.
“Just put us all in first class,” Camila decided, because then Jessica could act as a buffer. Besides, the seats in first class were roomy enough that their arms and legs wouldn’t touch if there was turbulence.
>
“Are…are you sure?”
Camila waved her away. “Yes. Go and book the flight before I change my mind.”
Jessica scurried off, and Camila looked longingly at the bar in the corner, but she knew that scotch would do little to ease the ache behind her eyes.
Camila was bone-tired by the time she got home at seven o’clock, even though it was a relatively early night for her.
Jaime was already struggling to keep his eyes open. She pulled him into a hug and he snuggled into her chest, his arms draping around her neck. She calmed instantly.
“Did Emily wear you out today?” she asked him. He mumbled in response.
“We went to the park,” Emily told her, “and then the gym. You should think about signing him up for martial arts classes—I think he would do well. And it would be good for him to meet some other kids his age.”
“Thank you for your parenting input.” It came out with more bite than she intended—an aftereffect of the day she’d had, and she hadn’t even really meant it, regretted it as soon as she saw the wounded look in Emily’s eyes.
“I wasn’t—” Emily protested, but then cut herself off with a shake of her head. “Never mind. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Her words crackled with an undercurrent of anger. She climbed to her feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait.”
Emily stopped in her tracks, turning back to face Camila, expecting an apology.
“Here. Details for the trip next month.” She handed Emily the folder Jessica had put together. Emily took it without looking at it. “We fly out on the seventeenth, return on the twenty-first.”
“Great.” Emily’s voice was flat, and Camila wished it didn’t feel like a knife in her chest.
“And there…there weren’t any extra rooms in the hotel, so you’ll be staying in a suite with me and Jaime.”
“Can’t wait.” Her voice was heavy with sarcasm, and Camila winced, but Emily had already turned to leave. “Bye, Jaime!” She called over her shoulder, but Jaime was half-asleep.
Camila woke Jaime up enough for him to brush his teeth and put on his pajamas. She sat in the chair next to his bed, ready to read him a story from one of the books he had picked up from the library.
Never Say Never Page 17
