by Layla Silver
A small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that something would probably always be missing in my child's life, a mother's touch. Which was ridiculous, because I had seen plenty of successful, single parents in my life. I would just have to make sure I was enough for him or her so that they never felt that void of not having two parents.
As I had that thought, the woman I had bumped into in the parking lot popped into my head. Was she as soft as she looked, and did she have a kind heart underneath all that beauty? Would she make a good mother? A good partner and mate? Not that it helped me to think of such things; I was probably never going to see her again. This was just a sign that I needed to go out and release all this tension I'd been feeling.
I pulled up my electronic diary, pinning a few items into my to do list, like setting up an appointment with the architect and organizing a gift for my surrogate. I could ask the agency to arrange the delivery, as I wanted everything to remain as anonymous as possible. Natalie would probably be happy to pick out a small gift for me, and she would do a better job at it too.
My ringing phone interrupted my thoughts, and I smiled when I saw Kenneth's name on the screen. He was an old friend of mine, and we hadn't seen each other in the longest time, so it was a pleasant surprise receiving a call from him.
"Kenneth, you old man. How have you been?"
He laughed before responding, "No complaints, my friend. And yourself?"
"Same old, same old, nothing interesting to tell."
"You didn't forget to send me your wedding invitation, did you?"
Now it was my turn to laugh. "You know me better than that. I'm still looking for the right woman, and it's not my fault that she doesn't exist."
"You really haven't changed. But I hope when you finally fall in love you get so whipped that you won't know your left from your right. The stubborn ones like yourself usually fall so hard."
I chuckled and tried to imagine myself that whipped, as he called it. I doubted I would ever fall that deeply in love, the way my friend had been in love with his late wife.
"Never say never, hey," he continued, making me nod in agreement even though I knew he couldn't see me.
Wasn't I the same person who hadn't considered something like surrogacy a few weeks ago? But now I was looking into nursery requirements. Never say never, indeed.
"So to what do I owe the pleasure of your call? I hope you didn't call just to get a wedding invitation because then I'm so happy to disappoint you."
He chuckled. "No, that's not it. I actually called because I have an idea I wanted to run by you."
"Ok, shoot," I said.
"It's actually a business idea I've had for a while now, and I was wondering if you could help me with it."
He launched into an explanation of what he was thinking, but I wasn't really in a business frame of mind right now, and business ideas were best put in writing and discussed in person.
"Of course I would be happy to help, Kenneth. Let's schedule a meeting, and you can work on a business proposal, meanwhile. I can come to your house, and we can talk about it in person. How does that sound?"
"That is great, thank you, Julian."
"Anytime, my friend. So tell me, how is your little girl doing?"
Kenneth only had one child, but I couldn't remember how old she was. I just knew the last time I'd seen her, she had been a skinny teenager with braces.
"Not so little anymore, but we are both doing alright."
"That's good to hear, Kenneth. I guess I'll see you both when I come over."
"Sure thing, Julian. Thanks again."
The phone call ended, and I went back to my research, finally giving up when I found out that there were more than twenty shades of blue.
Chapter 8 – April
My hand was on my belly; the slight bump that was starting to show never ceased to fascinate me. After a couple of months of waiting to see a change, I had finally started to show. It was all so very exciting, and I wished the months would go by even faster. According to my doctor, the baby was the size of an avocado right now, and it had taken me a bit long to show because it was my first pregnancy. But the baby was growing rapidly now, and so was I. And so far, I was enjoying the entire process.
There were other subtle changes to my body as well, but I hadn't developed any weird cravings. Besides the change in my waist size, my bust seemed to be swelling slightly as well. It wasn't anything drastic, and only I could see it, but it was a welcome change.
I ran my hand over my slight bump again, my uncle's voice finally startling me out of my daydream.
"Will you stop doing that?"
I looked up at my uncle as he walked in and almost laughed at the frown on his face; he looked genuinely annoyed. I had thought that after all this time and seeing that I was fine, he would have accepted my decision. It turned out I had been hoping for too much; the man would not be convinced.
"Doing what?" I blinked innocently, watching his scowl deepen.
"Touching your belly."
"It's good to show affection to an unborn child."
"I don't think that's how it works, April. That child can't possibly feel that."
I shrugged. "Well, I'm not so sure. Anyway, it makes me feel better. Therefore the baby will feel better, just in case it can pick up on my mood."
I was used to my uncle's attitude by now. He was used to having people follow and obey him. Throw in a dash of possessiveness and general lack of friendliness, and you had one surly giant of a man. It didn't intimidate me though, not all the time anyway. I knew he was just worried about me, and this was his way of showing it.
It wasn't the best way, but it was his way. And I let him be.
"I'm not staying long, just wanted to pass through and see how you are doing with... everything."
"The baby is healthy and growing fast." I smiled, knowing I was poking a hornet's nest, but I couldn't help myself.
"And the clinic is taking good care of you? You'd let me know if they weren't treating you well, right?"
"Of course, you know I would. And they are taking care of me just fine. I go for checkups once a month, more often when the baby gets bigger, and I've had no problems so far. But enough about me. How about you? How are you doing?"
I braced myself for his usual reply that he wasn't the one carrying a stranger's child, but he surprised me by offering a small smile.
"I'm alright. If it wasn't for you raising my blood pressure, I would be perfect."
"You are the healthiest person I know, Uncle Jay. And you'll live long enough to scare away any potential suitors I will have in the future."
He raised a brow. "Are you sure that swelling belly of yours won't do all the work for me?"
I laughed, thinking he had a valid point. "Thank you for stopping by to check up on me, Uncle Jay. Even though you've been scowling at me since the second you got here."
He almost growled. "How far along are you?"
I grinned and patted my belly again, much to his annoyance. "Four months. I can't believe it's been that long already."
"I can't believe we still have five more months of this."
I laughed and patted his hand before replying.
"Just embrace it, I'm really doing just fine, and I'm happy."
He sighed and grabbed his car keys as he prepared to leave. His visit had been short, and he'd meant it when he had said he just wanted to see how I was doing. How could I fault him for being pissed off about this whole pregnancy when he was just projecting his fears and worry?
"I don't want you to get hurt," he said softly.
"Women have been giving birth for centuries. And now with modern medicine, the chances of a complicated delivery are very slim, you know that."
"That's not what I meant."
I didn't respond, and I let him say his goodbyes to dad, who was in the kitchen, before I walked him out. I knew exactly what he meant, but it wasn't something I wanted to talk about right now. Talking about it would make
me start thinking about it. And thinking about it was never a good idea.
When I got back, my father was waiting for me with a warm cup of chocolate, prepared just the way I liked it. I had always liked my hot beverages slightly less hot than they ought to be.
"You and your uncle are still not seeing eye to eye on this?"
I sighed and sat down, taking a sip of my perfect drink. I hated not having my uncle's full support on the matter, but it was too late to go back now; he would just have to come on board somehow. The baby was already growing inside me, and some family out there was already preparing for their child to come home in a few months. That thought alone made it all worth it, plus the money I was getting out of all this to pay for college and to help out with dad's bills. I had read of cases where surrogates could carry up to three children for the same family, and it really got me thinking. If this family wanted another child and they approached me to do it, could I go through it multiple times? Somehow, even though this experience had been nothing but positive so far, I doubted it, plus I didn't want to risk my uncle and father having heart attacks.
"I wonder which part is just his natural stubbornness and which part is the Alpha not liking to be told no," I said.
"I doubt there is a difference really," my father said shrugging.
"Thanks, dad, this is perfect."
I gestured to my cup, but he knew I was also saying it for everything else he did for me, and for supporting me through this.
"Always, sweetheart. Look, I'm not exactly thrilled about this either. I mean, I can't even refer to the child you are carrying as my grandchild, and yet it is. Which is confusing and difficult to wrap my head around. But you are a smart young woman, and I respect your decisions and your independence."
"Thank you, that means a lot to me."
"You're welcome. And just a reminder, Julian is coming for lunch tomorrow. We might want to order in something."
My heart stopped for a second, resuming with a bit of force that left me feeling nauseated. Or maybe that was just the pregnancy, I couldn't tell anymore. All I knew was that even the mention of Julian's name put me in a bit of a state. And my father had been mentioning him quite a lot in the past few months.
I snorted a reply. "If my cooking hasn't killed you yet dad, then it is good enough for Julian."
My father laughed, but I wasn't joking. No special treatment would be extended to the mighty Julian Rollett, not after he hadn't even recognized me in the parking lot. He would have to stomach whatever I prepared.
I was really proud of my father; he'd been working on his new business idea for a couple of months now. Perfecting it and getting it market-ready. He deserved this bread, he really did. Even if it meant that I had to face Julian again. Our meeting was inevitable now. Him becoming business partners with my father meant we would be seeing more of him around here, and I couldn't avoid him forever, even when I had successfully done that over the past few months.
To be honest, I was terrified out of my mind to see him again. After our last disastrous meeting, would he recognize me as the crazy girl from the parking lot? The same girl who had just gawked at him without saying a word? Or would he forget me again like he had before?
I didn't know which was worse, but if I had to choose, I would pick the former.
Chapter 9 – Julian
"You have a meeting with the architect tomorrow at ten and a meeting today with Mr. Grant at two."
I checked my watch and frowned at my phone before responding to Natalie's last words. "How did you know about that? It's an informal meeting."
"It is my job to know your schedule, sir, even when you are not in the office."
I smiled at that; Natalie was too good at her job sometimes. I could rack my brain and try to remember when I had exactly told her about my meeting with Kenneth, but I knew it wouldn't work. Maybe I was getting old, or my assistant really could read my mind. Either way, it was a good thing that she was around.
"Thank you for being as perfect as always, Natalie. What would I do without you?"
"I'm sure you would survive, sir."
I hoped I wouldn't have to find out. Especially with the baby on its way, I needed someone to take the workload off my hands so that I could focus more on my son or daughter.
"Thanks again. Please take all my calls for the rest of the afternoon, and give the architect a call to remind him about tomorrow. I have other plans afterwards, and I don't want him to be late."
"Of course, sir."
I chuckled as I hung up, vowing that one of these days I would get Natalie to call me by my first name. She would probably die before she let anything like that happen, but I was willing to keep trying. I switched off my computer and looked for my keys, opting to take my bike instead of the car. Kenneth lived in a cabin in the woods anyway, and it was easier to get there with my motorcycle.
When he had first given me the call, I had been so busy finalizing the report for the pack's new security plan and then the agency that I hadn't really paid much attention to what he was proposing. Kenneth was one of my old friends though, and I owed it to him to try to help him out at least. So I had asked him to draft a proposal that we could then discuss further, and he'd continued to work on it ever since, with us occasionally meeting over it. Since his wife's death, I knew my friend had hit a rough patch and was going through some financial difficulties. I was happy to help in any way I could, and I had been helping him polish the proposal for a while now, making it ready for the next stage. His idea was sound and promising, and it had been great watching it come to life. Realizing just how much he was counting on it to work reassured me that I had done the right thing in deciding to help him out.
I grabbed the keys to my bike and made my way to the garage after locking up. It was a bit of a ride to Kenneth's place, and I enjoyed every second of it. My days on my motorcycle were probably numbered now that I was expecting a child. It would be a while before I could teach the little one how to ride even a bicycle, and I dreaded the possibility of my child not sharing the same interests as me. It was inevitable that we would have differences of course, but was it too much to ask for him or her to at least like motorcycles?
Probably, I chuckled.
I remembered when I got my very first bike; riding it had been the most wonderful feeling in the world. I didn't care much for driving when I tasted the freedom that came with riding in the open air. Natalie had retorted once that there were convertible cars for that, but it just wasn't the same. I didn't feel the same adrenaline rush that I felt when I rode.
I pulled up at Kenneth's cabin in record time, noticing that it was just as I remembered it. His wife had adored this place, and it was secluded enough for them to run freely in their Wolf form. I took off my helmet and ran a hand through my hair to try and tame it. It was getting rather long, and I had yet to book an appointment for a haircut. I was ashamed to say Natalie had usually done that for me, and since she hadn't seen much of me lately, it was difficult for her to keep tabs on how long my hair was becoming. Or maybe she liked it this way and had chosen to keep quiet the last time she saw me? I honestly had no way of knowing with my assistant who was always so serious and professional. But she seemed to run my life pretty well, so I wasn't complaining.
I secured my bike and hung my helmet on one of the handles before walking towards the door. It opened before I could knock, and my friend grinned at me from the doorway.
"Julian!"
"Kenneth, you look even older in person," I laughed, giving him a quick hug.
"Have you seen your hair lately? You are started to look more like a Zebra than a Wolf."
"Oh, leave my hair alone. I'll have you know, ladies love the gray."
We both laughed, and Kenneth ushered me in to a quaint sitting room. There was a steady fire burning, and it was a welcome change from the slight chill outside.
"Take a seat, and I'll bring lunch. Would you like juice or a beer?"
"A beer please."
Kenneth returned with two plates of sandwiches and a couple of beers in his hands. I opened my beer as soon as he set it down, taking a drink, and feeling the refreshing liquid do its job.
"I put some steaks in the oven; I know how you always appreciate a good steak."
I chuckled as I took another sip of my beer. "Who doesn't love a good steak, though?"
"I'm sure all of the vegan population would happily disagree with you," Kenneth pointed out with a chuckle.
"Maybe that's because they honestly have never had a good steak," I joked.
"You might be right, but I don't want to be the one to try and find out."
We both laughed as he stood up to retrieve a laptop.
"I don't want to be an annoying guest, but these sandwiches are too damn tiny, Kenneth."
He laughed as I popped one into my mouth, enjoying the mixture of flavors of whatever had been put in the middle.
"That's why I'm preparing the steaks. My daughter made those, and I think she forgot that we are two grown men."
"Hmm, they're really good, though."
He burst into laughter before responding. "Then that is purely by accident, I assure you. As much as I love her, she is not very gifted in the kitchen, which makes for some very interesting meals sometimes."
I felt that pang in my chest again, and this time I recognized it as longing. I longed for something like a family of my own now. Having someone around the house I could talk to and laugh with. I knew it would be a long while before I could talk to my own child like that. Still, I wanted it all. Even the baby years of changing diapers and first days at school.
