by Tl Reeve
“Just doing my job.” She winked at him. “I understand all of this is difficult. I hope by me showing you around a little, you’ll see it’s not so bad here.”
“You’re right, it is difficult. I don’t think I fit in, though. You’re all friends, and I’m still the outsider.” He loathed being a wet rag. Even worse, he hated feeling sorry for himself. Rae was trying to give him a chance to get to know everyone, and he... shit, he kept himself apart because of unfinished business with Noah.
“Give yourself time. I believe you need to have a serious conversation with Noah, and, afterward, you need to forgive him,” she said.
His back went ramrod straight at her words. Anger flowed through his veins. Forgive Noah for lying through their entire relationship? For not trusting Mateo to never give away his secret. “Oh, do I? You sound confident he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He did plenty wrong, but you're still seeing it as a slight to you, not as a husband trying to protect his spouse.” She grabbed one of the boxes off the warmer then handed it to him. “Trust me, I didn't believe a word coming out of Asher's mouth when I first met him. I didn't want anything to do with him, either. He was arrogant and cocky and an overall asshole. He demanded answers from me when he wore a uniform similar to Barclay. Not to mention the fact he brought up my family in what I thought at the time, was a threatening manner. It took me a while to figure out that Asher was a man of honor. He brought Johnathan's family here. He arranged everything Gabby would need. He gave three brothers a job after they could have killed his team. This place has integrity, you have to allow yourself to see it. To understand what they do here and why sometimes keeping secrets is for the best, even when it doesn't seem like it.”
Rae’s words rang through his mind as he ate his lunch and sent off the plans for school. He read through his emails and sent replies where he needed then sent off one more to the discipline committee. His students would need to go to Mr. Carbón temporarily until he could return to school—at least, he hoped he’d be able to return.
When he finished, he powered down the computer and closed it. He hated being idle. Teaching gave him purpose. Being in the classroom with his students had been fulfilling. Being in the bunker...base, whatever the place was called, he was set up to follow others' whims. And, until they found whoever took Mateo, he'd be stuck there, doing nothing.
He’d go insane.
Mateo grabbed the bottles of pills Rae gave him and took another dose. He then kicked off his boots and laid down on the bed. Though the pounding headache abated, he was still tired. The adrenaline wore off hours ago, and he felt like he was walking through sludge. Of course, it could have something to do with the pain pills, but he dismissed it. No, this had been a bone-deep weariness. He threw his arm over his face, careful not to hit the stitches and closed his eyes. Maybe a little nap would clear his head and help him figure out what he’d do next.
“Mattie...” His nickname pushed against the heavy blanket of sleep. “Wake up, babe.”
Warm, wet heat encased the tip of his cock, and Mateo groaned. He reached out; his eyes still closed, as he gripped Noah’s head. His cock sank into the depths of Noah’s mouth, and he bit back a groan of pleasure. He’d been caught somewhere between a dream and reality, and he didn’t want to return to reality just yet. He flexed his hips, giving small thrusts while dreaming of Noah sucking and licking him.
Mateo moaned Noah’s name. The muscles of his stomach quivered. “Suck me harder.” He wasn’t usually on the receiving end. Not that Noah was a selfish lover, he hadn’t been. But, Mateo went to his knees more often than not and sucked Noah off. He enjoyed it. This though...he could get used to his lover giving Mateo his full attention. He pushed Noah lower to his sac and taint. It drove him wild when his husband would lick and rub the area between his balls and ass before sinking deep inside Mateo’s rear.
He shuddered. His breath hitched as his eyes shot open. None of it had been a dream. A naked Noah lay spread eagle on their bed. His head was buried between Mateo’s legs. He hummed in pleasure, sending shards of bliss shooting through Mateo’s body. His dick jerked, and a dribble of precum rolled down his length.
“W-what are you doing?” He gasped when Noah engulfed his shaft once more. “Noah... Shit!” He held his husband in place while he gave a few short thrusts. “Coming.”
Noah swallowed around him, and Mateo grunted, bucking with the first jet of his release. The sensation left him lightheaded and a bit dizzy as Noah drank down the remains of his release. What the hell just happened? When Noah pulled off of his softening cock, he climbed up Mateo’s body and kissed him.
Mateo could taste his release on Noah’s tongue, and it turned him on. It shouldn’t have, but it did. Yet, for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why Noah was there. He had a job to do, and skipping out didn’t fit the person he knew Noah was. Plus, it was only Mateo.
“I couldn’t wait,” Noah whispered against his ear. “I needed to be with you.”
The hard length of Noah’s dick pressed to Mateo’s hip while he ground against him. “Do you want me to...you know?” After Rae filled him in about people being able to hear them, embarrassment filled Mateo.
“No,” Noah said. “I’ll take care of it.”
Mateo frowned.
“This was all about you,” Noah said, as though hearing Mateo’s thoughts.
“All about me?”
“Yep.” Noah wrapped his palm around his cock and stroked. “But you can watch if you want. I like it when you watch me.”
“Don’t you think we should talk, first?” Mateo’s eyes were glued to where Noah pumped his fist.
“We will,” Noah said on a groan. “Promise.”
It didn’t take long before Noah gave a long, low groan as he came. Thick, white strips of his release coated his belly and chest. The scene flipped a switch inside Mateo. He liked seeing the vulnerable side of his husband. Now, if Noah could trust Mateo with everything else. Yet, even though Noah lay beside him panting, he couldn’t find the words to explain how he was feeling. It didn’t matter, either, it appeared. Noah placed a kiss to his lips then jumped up and redressed.
“I have to get back to C&C. I promise we’ll talk when I’m off duty tonight. We’re close to finding the guy who took you. I’ll explain everything then.” Noah kissed him once more before heading out.
Mateo laid there for another moment then stood on wobbly legs and headed for the exit. His shirt was off and the zipper on his pants was still open. He adjusted himself and zipped up before opening the door. Noah was nowhere to be found. Instead, another man, someone he thought had been named O'Malley strode toward him. The scowl on his face didn't bode well for whoever got in his way.
“We need to talk,” the man muttered, surprising Mateo.
“Why?”
O’Malley scoffed. “You know why.” He pushed passed Mateo and entered Noah’s room. “Look, I don’t know what Noah told you about us, but you need to forget all about it. We’re not good for civvies.”
“Excuse me?” Mateo stared at the man in confusion.
“You heard me. This job. This life isn’t for people who aren’t in the line of work we’re in. You’re all a bunch of liabilities. I have said this from the beginning, and no one fucking listens to me.” O’Malley began to pace. “Did you know Rae and Asher almost died because Asher couldn’t think with the big head instead of the small one?”
Mateo blinked. “It’s not like I am here because I want to be here. I was kidnapped.”
“Yeah, and why was that?” Before Mateo could answer, O’Malley did. “You’re a liability. You are a target.”
“You didn’t know I existed until Noah asked for help.”
“We all know,” O’Malley snarled. “Nothing happens here without us being privy to all of it.”
“What?” Shock filled Mateo replacing the remaining edge of satisfaction from having his dick sucked.
“Every time Noah left here t
o be with you, he put all of us at risk, including you. It was only a matter of time before both of you got us killed.” O'Malley stepped to Mateo. “No one in this fucking place has the balls to tell you this, so I'm relegated to doing it. It would be best when this mission is over if you go home and never look back. Do what you have to, to cut ties with Noah. Forget us.”
Mateo stepped back. His heart hammered. Agony ripped through him. Forget Noah? Forget the years they’d been together? Lose the best part of himself? Lose the love of his life? He shook his head while tears gathered at the corner of his eyes. “No.”
“Stupid, headstrong...” O’Malley sighed. “He lied to you. You shouldn’t want to be here.”
He had a point. “You don’t...you’re not a part of our life away from here.”
“And why is that?” O’Malley smirked. The ugly truth shimmered in his eyes. “Better yet, why did Noah let Rae take you around to meet everyone, and not himself? Noah already knows this isn’t where you belong.”
Mateo swallowed hard. The twisted vise of anguish squeezed his insides until he thought he couldn’t breathe any longer. He stared up into the violent visage of O’Malley. The man got off on this. Got off on destroying people. Did he believe, or want to believe, a word of what the man said? “I-I think you should go.”
“Yeah, I should,” O’Malley said as he crossed to the door. “Look, it’s for the best. You’re not cut out for this life.”
Mateo stared after a retreating O’Malley in disbelief. Maybe he’s right. I’m not cut out for this.
So, why did it feel like the man had cleaved him in two?
Chapter 6
Something was up with Mateo.
Noah watched as his husband continued to play with the food on his plate with disinterest. The other man had barely said a dozen words to him since he’d picked him up from their room an hour ago.
Maybe it was his fault. He’d woken Mateo up from a dead sleep to suck him off, then like an asshole, he jerked himself off then left. They didn’t talk. They didn’t hold each other. The action, though arousing and hot, had been cold, sterile almost. He’d meant it in a playful teasing way to keep Mateo on his toes, but seeing him now, Noah wondered if maybe his plan had backfired.
When he saw Rae on the way to C&C early in the morning, he’d asked her to show him around. If anything, she’d understand Mateo more than anyone else. They were kind of the same. Both had no business being involved with R.O.O.T. Both had been unceremoniously dropped on the base’s doorstep without a clue as to what they were getting themselves into. They’d also almost lost their lives.
So, it made sense to Noah, that Rae showing Mateo around, introducing him to those connected to Noah’s team, would help Mateo get the lay of the land while also making new friends. When Asher cut him loose from duty, Noah had continued the tour before bringing him back to the mess hall. He took Mateo to the gym, the gun range, and a whole host of shit Rae didn’t bother with.
Noah also got it into his head, if they had a nice dinner at the commissary, it would be like going on a date. The reasons behind doing such were purely selfish on his part. They hadn’t been on a date-date in several months due to Noah’s job. If he could give his husband a small semblance of normalcy, Noah would do it in a heartbeat.
Unfortunately, it was pretty obvious what he’d intended and what was happening, were two totally different things. “You don’t like your steak?” The silence at the table became overwhelming, knotting Noah’s stomach with worry. Had he finally done the one thing Mateo couldn’t forgive him for?
“It’s fine,” Mateo replied in a dry, monotone voice.
Noah sighed before laying his fork down. He figured he’d cut through all the bullshit and get to the heart of the matter with his husband. “Whatever’s bothering you, Mattie, you can talk to me about it. Let’s get it out in the open and deal with it.”
Mateo snorted, but otherwise, remained quiet.
It was driving him bat-shit crazy. “Mattie, babe, talk to me.” Noah hated the pleading tone in his voice.
Mateo placed his fork down before turning his attention to him. “What, pray tell would you like to discuss, Noah?” The cold harshness of Mateo’s tone snapped across Noah’s flesh. “The fact that you couldn’t be bothered to show me around—” Mateo waved his hand around as he floundered for the word to call where they currently resided.
“Base,” Noah supplied.
“Base,” Mateo snarled. “Asking someone else to do it.”
“I was working, Mattie.” Noah forced himself to keep his cool. Mateo had been through a lot in the last couple of days. Being kidnapped was no walk in the park. Neither was finding the man he loved and trusted had lied about everything concerning his job. Yeah, Noah felt like shit for keeping Mateo in the dark. But, hindsight was always twenty-twenty. No matter what he said, it would end up an excuse, even if Noah didn’t intend it to be. So, he pressed on. No use in digging the hole deeper than it already was. “Need I remind you, I’m trying to find the guy who took you, so we can go back home, and you can go back to work.” Great job keeping your cool, asshole. “I asked Rae because she’s the logical choice. She has a way about her. Soft and sweet and unassuming. I asked her because I thought you’d like to have someone show you around that you could at least have a conversation with and not just grunt replies to your questions.”
“You found time tonight,” Mateo accused.
“Because I’m off tonight. When on base, on an active case, we tend to work twelve-hour shifts. I thought it best if I did the day shift, so I could spend the nights with you—”
“Hoping to get laid, you mean,” Mateo hurled the insult at him.
Noah’s stomach clenched and rolled at his husband’s insinuation. He pushed down his own hurt at his husbands’ cruel tone and forged forward, wanting to get to the root of the problem. “No, I’ve got my fucking hand for relief if I find I can’t make it a couple of days without coming. I asked Asher for days because I wanted to be with you at night, in case you experienced any nightmares of your kidnapping. I didn’t want you to go through reliving the fear and the experience by yourself. If you’d rather I’d work nights. Tell me now, and I’ll ask Asher.”
Mateo glared at him, his brown eyes swirling with an array of emotions Noah was unable to figure out. “It’s fine.” His caustic tone rubbed Noah the wrong way.
Something else was nagging at his spouse. Something dark and sinister. He had a feeling whatever it was, he wasn’t going to like it one damn bit once Mateo opened up to him. Leaning back in his chair, Noah crossed his arms over his chest. He struggled to school his features to reflect a tranquility he didn’t feel. Since Mateo’s gaze refused to meet his, Noah took it as a sign something else was bothering Mateo.
“Is there something else I should know about?” he inquired a lot calmer than he really felt.
Noah didn’t like the hesitation he saw in his lovers’ eyes. They’d always been open and honest with each other. “Mattie?” He placed his hand on top of his spouse’s before giving it a squeeze. “Tell me. We’ll get it out in the open, deal with it, and move on.”
“I had a visitor after you left.”
Noah cocked a brow and instantly went on alert. Tension stiffened his form and his mind began to churn. “Are you going to make me guess, Mattie? The base holds close to five hundred souls when at capacity. We're currently only half filled, that's an awful lot of people who could've visited you today. Wanna help me out?”
“I’m not playing a game with you, Noah. I’m actually debating on if I want to open this can of worms or chuck it into the trash.”
“Ohh, now you’ve got me fucking curious.” Noah edged his chair closer to the table and leaned in, before begging like a little kid. “Come on, Mattie, you know I gotta hear this now.” A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
“Curiosity killed the cat,” Mateo reminded him, his features still blank.
“Yeah, but satisfaction brought it b
ack,” he stated, his tone cocky.
“If I tell you, you’ve got to promise me you won’t lose your shit.”
Noah grunted. A promise like that wasn’t a good sign. It was pointless to make an agreement when someone asked them not to get mad, it always led to someone being righteously pissed the fuck off. By Mateo’s posture and closed off features, Noah realized whatever his lover said, would most definitely having him breaking any type of assurance he might give.
“Fuck no. I'm not making any kind of promise. We both know it'll be pure bullshit. One, because it's never worked for us in the past, and it sure as hell ain't going to work now. And, two, we both know lies hurt when they're spoken. Just get it over with and tell me.” Yeah, he said it. He meant it, too. Noah’s need to protect Mateo caused him to lose Mateo’s trust. If it took the rest of his life to rebuild it, he would.
Mateo quirked a brow. “A gentleman, and I’m using the term very loosely, confronted me in your room. After you left.”
Noah sat up straight and any lightness he’d felt at their teasing conversation began to dissipate. Fury replaced the self-loathing. “Who was it, and what did he say?”
Mateo calmly told him word for word what O’Malley had said, and by the time his husband finish, Noah was seeing red. He was done. D-O-N-E with O’Malley and his shit. O’Malley had gone too far this time, and Noah wasn’t like Asher, willing to let their 2IC slide on by because they were friends.
Fuck that shit.
Noah stood so abruptly; the chair he’d been sitting in tumbled over. It made a loud booming sound as the metal and plastic chair hit the concrete floor. Those few people who were enjoying their meals around them stopped eating. Noah could feel their eyes on him, watching and wondering.
Mateo reached out, wrapping his hand around his wrist. Noah laughed. As if the other man could prevent him from leaving if he wanted. “Noah—”
“Let go of my arm, Mattie,” he snarled. “Now.”
“No!” he snapped “You weren’t supposed to get mad.”
