“I thought you might say something like that, so I went by that new Chinese place you like and picked you up the special of the day, with a bowl of hot and sour soup. And I got you a couple of egg rolls.”
“That’s not playing fair. We can talk when we get out to the car. Haven’t been outside or seen the sun in three days, so I need some fresh air.”
George opened his arms. “Bring it in, big guy. I know I screwed up.”
Dante grunted, releasing some of his stress, then hugged his dad. It does feel good, being hugged, Dante thought, as he patted his father's back.
“What’s the special of the day?”
“Singapore-style noodles, extra spicy.”
Dante’s mouth started watering.
“Thanks, Dad. That’s my favorite.”
“And you think I don’t know this?”
It was their turn in line, so Dante walked to the window where the sun was gleaming, while George took the paperwork from the woman and began filling it out.
“You’ll be able to go outside and feel the sun soon enough, young man,” the woman said.
Dante turned, recognizing the woman’s voice. Ruby stood there, smiling, while he stood there awestruck. While his dad jotted away, Dante jogged over to the desk and whispered, “I knew you were real.”
“Well, of course, I’m real, silly,” Ruby said, with her bodacious blue eyes. Just as Dante remembered, they bulged out a little, but with as clear and as vibrant as they were, it still felt to Dante as though they peered into his very soul.
“Your words helped me get through the days here.”
She leaned over. “I have a feeling you would have been just fine, with or without my words.”
She also told me the hospital has thin walls, then how’d she hear me down here? Dante wondered.
“Your eyes give away your doubt, Dante.”
“Well, with what you said the other day, it just doesn’t make sense that you could hear my conversation through the wall from down here.”
Ruby smiled. “What I told you is true, but you must learn that some things shouldn’t be rationalized, because I, too, have a gift. The walls are far thinner than you could imagine, and you’ll soon learn what I mean by that. Your dad is coming.”
Ruby looked at George. “All righty, you all done? I’ll just need to give you your copy.”
“Okay, thanks,” George said.
She wrote a little note, folded it, and placed it on top of George’s copy.
“Well, it was a delight to meet you, Dante. I trust you can hold on tight to this record for your father until you get home,” Ruby said, handing Dante the papers.
“Thank you, miss. You ready to get out of here, son?”
Dante was slow to answer as he glanced at the slip of paper with a look of befuddlement. I have so many questions, he thought.
Ruby smiled one last time. “I’m sure you’ll find the answer to your questions in one way or another very soon.”
“That’s code for she’s got a lot of stuff to do, son, so let’s go get that Chinese I bought for ya. Thanks again, miss.” George wrapped his arm around his son and pulled him toward the door. Dante wiggled free, staying behind so he could read what Ruby scribbled on the paper.
I know you have questions, young one, but you must remember one thing, I’ve said to you. The reason you felt so out of place in this world is because you were meant to help create a better one.
Of all the things she said, Dante could never forget that. He ran and caught up to his father. “Read this note that the lady wrote for me.” Dante handed the note to his dad, feeling vindicated. Dante was never crazy, and he knew it. He knew he was meant to help create a better world.
George looked at the paper, then flipped it over. “What note?” he asked as he handed the note back to Dante. Dante glanced at the slip—there was nothing on it other than his dad's handwriting. He looked back toward the hospital and saw Ruby waving with a smile.
Even though the inner turmoil brewed once again, he kept quiet as he attempted to rationalize his and Ruby’s conversations and the note. Dante was at a loss, but an odd feeling came over him as he began hearing a high-pitched whine. She said some things shouldn’t be rationalized. Is this one of those times?
With a few deep breaths, Dante relaxed until a smile grew, leaving him feeling at peace. All he could smell was the fantastic aroma of the Singapore-style noodles. The scent of the peppers, along with the yellow curry, made his mouth water once more.
After scarfing down the food, Dante once again pondered, frustrated with his inability to understand.
“Dad, did you actually think I was going to hurt myself? I would never do something, even if you thought I was threatening my life, which I wasn’t.”
“I know that now, son.”
“I know you were scared, but I need you to hear me out. That’s all I wanted, it’s what I need.”
“I screwed up, son. I just haven’t been able to forget how your mom seemed to have lost her mind. I just want to protect you.”
“Well, now you know this isn’t how you do it, and I didn’t see it that way.”
“She was talking to someone off in the corner before she passed, but there was no one there…. There was no one there, son.”
Dante had nothing else to offer as he watched his father relive the day his mother died.
Chapter Eleven
Redemption
June 2006
George awoke to the sound of his alarm, welcoming the day with a stretch. He looked over to the nightstand opposite his to see it still empty, covered in dust. He sighed as he got up and made his way downstairs, past the pictures of their family on the wall. George tended to have the mornings to himself, but he needn’t wait long for his firstborn to join him.
Dante had grown up to be a strapping, broad-shouldered young man. He had dark hair just like his father. Handsome like his father yet bearing his mother's eyes, Dante bounded down the stairs.
Not yet 7:30, the Luciano men were ready to carpe diem, but the same couldn’t be said about the lone woman of the house, but soon they heard tiny footsteps traipsing upstairs. Catching the rays of sun on her face and golden blonde hair, Amy Luciano wiped her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen.
“Well, hello there, little miss. How’s my little angel?”
“Cranky, Dante woke me up,” Amy said, glaring at her brother. Dante gulped the green smoothie and glared back in jest, following it up with a smile.
“Better be ready for my appointment this time, son. It’s my last one.”
“I’m awake, aren’t I?” Dante asked.
“Now you are,” Amy chimed.
“Just please be ready, son.”
As Dante walked passed the living room toward the stairs, he saw how many bottles his father had polished off the night before. Seeing he had another two hours until his appointment, Dante laid on his bed, and his eyes grew heavy once more.
“Dante, wake up!” Amy yelled, jumping on the bed.
“Fuh…. What time is it?”
“It’s wake-up time,” Amy whispered.
Seeing that he didn’t have much time, Dante threw on a shirt and raced downstairs, looking at the empty bottles once more, and ran out to the car.
“My apologies, Dad.”
“Yeah yeah, just put your seat belt on.”
On the drive into Cary, Dante rolled down the back window, enjoying the breeze. He saw a billboard he couldn’t ignore. The advert was for the ancient Egypt exhibit at the Museum of Art. Dante had always obsessed over ancient antiquities, but he felt especially drawn to Egypt and the history it held.
“Dad, I want to go to that.”
“Sure, son, I can take you this weekend.”
“Sweet! Thanks.”
George pulled up to the brick, one-story building. “All right, kids, quickly now, head on inside.”
As they walked into the building, Dante saw the painting that caught his eye on numerous occasions. It was of a
girl wearing a blue dress with white frills around her wrists. But what he found odd was how she was covering her right eye.
That’s so odd, Dante thought as George held the door into the office, open. There sat a little girl who must’ve just slid the copy of The Tiny Mermaid into the VCR. It was clear that she had Down syndrome, so having nothing else do to while he waited, Dante sat down next to the little girl, where Amy had already made herself comfortable.
By this time, the trailers had ended, and the movie was starting, getting to the part where the redheaded mermaid began singing about how much she wanted to be on the surface world with the rest of the humans.
The little girl’s eyes were fixed on the television as the tiny mermaid sang, and a few thoughts came rushing into Dante’s mind. Upon hearing of the mermaid’s desire to change to fit in, he remembered having similar feelings even with his longest friend, Dawayne Long.
Dante leaned over toward the girl and asked, “You like this movie, don’t you?”
The little girl nodded, while the mother looked on with a smile. He could tell that this didn’t happen very often, so he decided to swing for the fences, asking the little girl, “What is your name?”
She smiled.
“I know sometimes we may be slow to speak, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to say.”
She nodded. “My name is Chastity.”
Dante smiled. “My name is Dante, and it’s very nice to meet you Chastity. Has anyone told you that you have a very pretty name?”
Chastity shook her head.
“Well, you do Chasity is a very pretty name.”
“And, I’m Amy, now can you be quiet, Dante, so I can watch the movie.”
On the surface, it seemed like an innocent story the many times he watched it as a child, but it always befuddled Dante to see all the danger that ensued after she went to see the Sea Witch. It was just very odd seeing how the movie showed how easy it was to sign a contract with a demon of the sea. It seemed to be the lessening of the stigma of doing such a thing.
Dante heard the doorknob turn, and the heavy wooden door that led to the doctors’ offices opened.
“George, the doctor is ready to see you now.”
As the receptionist held the door open for George, he poked his head out into the waiting room. “Take care of your sister.”
“Not going anywhere, Dad.”
And while George walked through the hall, Dante ruminated over the conversations he reiterated to her for the last five months. He was unsure about his mental health, but it wasn’t getting any better, having been misunderstood by his therapist and his father for so long. Thank God we don’t have to see her after today. I just want things to get better soon.
• • •
Dr. Alison Hall was a tall, statuesque woman who was easy on the eyes. But the reason why George hired her was because of her innate ability to get to the point. Dante disagreed, but he also wasn’t the one paying the bill.
“I hope you’re aware that your children see how much you’ve been imbibing. Dante made me aware at our last session that he’s had to bring you to bed on a few occasions.”
“Wow, he told you that?”
“He told me a lot more than that, George. How does that make you feel?”
George lowered his head. “Sad…embarrassed.”
“And why is that?”
“I feel like I let them down again.”
“Did you actually let them down, or do you think that’s your insecurity talking?”
“I don’t even know anymore.”
“Other than the drinking, you seem to be doing a good job.”
“There must’ve been something I could have done to keep Elayna from dying.”
“You did tell me the doctors said she gave up the will to live, so you can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
“Of course, I could have, she was starting to lose it, and I saw the signs weeks before.”
“There’s nothing you could have done.”
“Are you not hearing me, Doc? I was the one who was supposed to protect her. Our kids have needed their mother…. I couldn’t even keep our son safe.”
“It’s not your fault, George.”
George’s eyes widened, and as they began to glisten, he remembered.
A little more than eight years ago, on December 28, George packed up everything his family needed, making sure his wife and son were belted in before he drove them to the hospital. With an unshakable grin, George was ready to welcome Amoretta, who they would call Amy.
Although George would never forget his wife’s beauty, the last few weeks of her pregnancy, she seemed to be equal parts crazy. Elayna kept telling them of a being she kept seeing in the waking world, and in the realm of dreams. “It’s like I’m looking at a reflection of myself, but she has six arms, always reaching toward me, rubbing my belly.”
She’d go on and on, describing the same being, doing the same thing. And George remembered brushing it off like it was yesterday, telling her, “Uh-huh, okay, honey,” while Dante hung on her every word. They were shown to their room, where Dante sat off to the side. George cheered her on as she gave one last squeeze, and Amoretta, their little love, was born.
Elayna stared off into the corner, and as the nurses cleaned off their baby, her eyes widened, becoming teary. She looked back to Dante and George, telling them, “I love you both so much.” Elayna again turned, staring into the corner.
“Okay, I’ll go.”
Her head fell back, hitting the pillow, and as Dante stared in a state of shock, George shook her. Her body was limp, and the only thing George could hear was the sound of his wife flatlining. Nurses rushed in with a crash cart and attempted to revive her. She was gone.
“George…. George.”
“Yeah,” George said, shaking his head.
“I lost you for a minute. What were you thinking about?”
“I was just thinking about the day she died again.”
“Now, do you really think it’s a good idea to keep doing that? At this point, you seem to be torturing yourself.”
“I miss her every day, Doc. Every freakin’ day.”
“I’m sure you do. What do you miss most about her?”
“Elayna always knew what to say.”
“And what do you think she’d say to you now?” Dr. Hall asked, looking at the clock.
“I have no idea…. I see so much of her in them, and just like his mom, our son guesses things before they happen. It’s like a little bit of her is still here, in him. I was so afraid earlier this year that I’d lose him the way I lost her. I can’t lose my son; I’d never forgive myself. I just can’t, Doc.”
“From our talks, Dante seems to be doing a lot better than he was earlier this year.”
“He’s just had this way about him since she died, narrowly escaping danger, having dreams just like his mother.”
“Very interesting,” Dr. Hall said, looking at the clock again. “Hate to end it here, but we’ve gotta wrap it up. The last thing I’m going to say is, give yourself some credit, George. Seriously, you’ve done a decent job, juggling work, the kids. And hey, they’re still alive.”
“Ya got that right, Doc.”
Dr. Hall stood, showing George to the door, closing it behind him. George checked out and opened the door to the lobby. Dante and Amoretta were sitting on the floor, enjoying the movie. He just stood there another moment, looking at his children.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Hi, kids, you want to get out of here?”
Amy looked back at the television. “It’s just getting to the good part.”
“We have the movie at home, Amy,” Dante said.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” George said, holding out his hand.
Amy grabbed it, and they were off. Dante hung back, questioning the meaning of the painting in the lobby one last time. Only time would tell him the answers he sought.
Chapter Twelve
Oneiros
While Dante helped Amy into her seat, Dawayne sat alone at home, writing in his journal.
June 6, 2006
Today marks another day and another reason to do as Dante would recommend, to “forgive” my parents. While many of his ideologies elude me, I somehow know I could one day implement this concept of “forgiveness.” But on the other hand, my mother will never be worthy of such a thing. And like many humans, she’s had countless opportunities for redemption, yet she showed little to no effort, doing nothing more than flapping her lips and thrusting her hips. What a whore.
As each meeting with my friend Dante and his family concludes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a caring environment. He would tell me that there is, “No point wasting my time,” and that I should “Do what I can today.” Of course, that’s easy enough for him to say with so many close to him, readily available at a moment’s notice. If it wasn’t for him or his family, I would have already given up on humans. Such a selfish lot, while aiming to appear as self-righteous, many fail miserably as my mother has. Dante would tell me that there is wisdom in these perceived failings I’m sure of it, but see it, I cannot.
Instead of missing his mother so, I think he should revel at the chance that he has. One less parent means one less chance of being told what to do, and one less parent that can leave. At least they both know where she is, never once having to guess, maggots surely having their way with her corpse.
• • •
Dante noticed a book in the front passenger seat that he didn’t notice on the drive to the doctor’s office.
Knowing his mother would have always sought to understand before jumping to a conclusion, Dante asked, “Can I see the book, Dad?”
“Sure.” George handed it to his son.
The title read Principles of Horticulture. Dante rubbed his hand over the binding, feeling the slender ridges. It had seen some action. Upon opening the front cover, he noticed some scribblings he knew belonged to his mother.
Dante brought the book a little closer. The note read: If you were a textbook, I’d never give you back. Love, Elayna.
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