Stricken, she glanced back at the water, then at me.
Confused, I gentled my voice. “What is it?”
She kicked petulantly at the sand. “You’ll laugh.”
“Keilana”—I looked her dead in the eyes — “I won’t.” But she still didn’t want to give it up. I squeezed her hand briefly before letting it go. Then I put my hands on my hips. “Okay, I’ll start guessing if that’s how you want it. You’re allergic to salt water?”
No answer.
“No, huh? Okay, afraid of killer seals or floating debris from a passing cruise ship?”
A tiny smile appeared. “No. Not really.”
“Worried about stepping on a fish hook?” I gestured toward the duffle bag I’d brought. “I have an extra pair of water shoes you can borrow.”
She groaned a little, her hands twitching nervously. “It’s not that simple, Cadie.”
“Then what? Seaweed? Fish? Sharks?”
Her eyes popped wide open. “There are sharks here?” she screeched, scrambling back to the very edge of the blanket. Her head began moving like a bobblehead Jesus glued to the dashboard of a fast moving car. “Where? Where?”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “They can’t get you on land, you know.”
She sensed my struggle not to chuckle and she stuck her tongue out at me in response. “It’s not sharks. Though if we see any, I am leaving and you won’t be able to stop me.”
I nodded. “Don’t worry, if we bump into any sharks, I’ll be swimming so fast for shore all you’ll see is my wake. So what’s the problem?”
“ That’s the problem.” She lowered her voice as if someone might hear her horrible confession. “You’ll be swimming. I won’t. I can’t swim.”
I just stared.
She pointed an accusing finger at me, her face turning pink with shame. “You said you wouldn’t laugh!”
“I-I-I-” I love it when I sputter like a stalled engine. “Who’s laughing?”
She let her hand drop and grumbled, “You can if you want.”
I sat back down on the blanket. There would be no surfing today, but suddenly I didn’t mind that so much. “Okay,” I began slowly. “So we have to change our plans. That’s no big deal. Lots of people can’t swim.” I didn’t know any of them, of course. But I’m sure they’re out there ... in Alaska or North Dakota or someplace.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” She turned dismayed eyes out to the water. “We wouldn’t have had to drive all the way here. But you wanted to come and I wanted to come with you and ... Well, it’s just embarrassing and—”
“Whoa.” I held up my hand to stop her rambling. “We’re not leaving.”
Her head snapped back and her jaw sagged a little. “We’re not?”
“Of course not. I can teach you how to swim,” I said gamely, only barely resisting the urge to tuck a strand of gently blowing hair behind Keilana’s ear. The desire to touch her was getting stronger and stronger and I was growing less and less inclined to fight it. “It’s easy. I was swimming before I was walking. If a little baby can do it, how hard could it be?”
She closed her eyes briefly, warring with herself.
I waited, wanting to push her but knowing it could damage our fragile relationship if I did.
“Fine,” she finally said, her voice an octave higher than normal. She wasn’t kidding. She was terrified.
Guilt assailed me. “Keilana—”
“I’m okay, really.” She stripped off her shirt and shorts in record time and stood before me in just her bikini. Her string bikini. She pointed toward my bag. “Can I really borrow those shoes? I think my feet are bigger than yours.”
My eyes drank her in and my mouth went bone dry.
She was wearing a sexy little belly button ring that I’d never seen before and the sight of it sent a skitter of unexpected excitement down my spine. Keilana didn’t resemble your average Southern California Barbie Doll, which was more than fine by me. For one thing, her breasts were the perfect size, lovely and very real. And then there were her legs. They went on for days. Months maybe.
My heart beat a little faster as I took in her fair skin; it glowed in the morning light, looking as soft and inviting as warm silk. A scattering of a few freckles dotted her upper chest and torso and formed a random pattern down her long lean waist. She took my breath away.
God, I hadn’t ever had it this bad!
Keilana glanced down at herself and crossed her arms in front of her. “Something wrong?”
“Hardly.” I didn’t bother to hide my appreciation as I pointed at her navel. Then I wriggled my eyebrows. “Is that new?”
She moaned a little and nodded. “It was Billie’s idea and I wanted to cheer her up so I let her talk me into it. It hurts like a bitch!”
I laid a hand over my own bellybutton in empathy. “Well, it looks good.” I grinned. “But you look great.” More than great, actually. Please don’t let that moisture on the corner of my mouth be drool.
“I’ve ... um ... put on a few pounds in the past couple of weeks.” She laid a hand on her flat stomach, careful to avoid her navel, and smiled tentatively. “I think it’s helped.”
Dismayed, I moved closer to her. There wasn’t a lot I could do for Keilana, but I could do this one small thing. I needed to. She knew that other people found her attractive, but somehow she didn’t seem to believe it was true deep down inside. “Keilana, I didn’t say that because of a few pounds or a little piece of jewelry. You’re beautiful. Don’t let some crazy idea your father has make you think differently.”
“You’re right.” Her smile grew and I was delighted when she squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and said, “Thank you, Cadie. That means ...” She shook her head a little. “Just thanks.”
I did a little happy dance inside, feeling a joy all out of proportion with what I’d done. “You’re welcome.”
Our eyes met and held and the chemistry we shared flared to life, nearly blinding me. My belly tightened and I tried to think of something other than kissing her. Anything.
I glanced out at the ocean. “Now, how about learning something new? I won’t let you drown. You’ll be amazed at how simple it is. C’mon,” I coaxed gently, seeing her reluctance return with a vengeance.
She gave me a direct look and said, “I’m afraid to put my face in the water or go in any deeper than my knees.”
I unzipped my wetsuit. Okay, so teaching her to swim wouldn’t be simple. But since when did that stop me?
yx
It took several hours and a dozen aborted attempts, but eventually, we were both standing in chest-deep water. The waves pushed us around a bit, but Keilana was doing her best to keep her footing and not let her fear get the better of her.
Her dark hair was slicked back, wet from several tumbles in the surf. She had some sand on her cheek and water droplets glistened on her chest and chin. “This isn’t s-so bad,” she stuttered.
I wasn’t sure if the statement was meant to convince me or herself.
“You’re doing great,” I praised, really meaning it. Fear wasn’t an easy thing to conquer and Keilana was doing her best to hold her own, despite flashes where it looked as though she might bolt at any minute.
My eyes roamed over her affectionately and I wondered when I’d turned into such a ball of useless mush. I hadn’t thought of the case all day. Instead, I’d just enjoyed playing and laughing with this complex, interesting person who was standing in front of me and counting on me to keep her safe.
Keilana’s shoulders were starting to turn pink and I gave in to the irresistible impulse to reach out and graze the soft skin with the tips of my fingers. “You need some more sunblock. Are you chilly?”
She shook her head. “I was earlier, but the sun is really hot now.”
“The water feels great, doesn’t it?” I was wearing just my rash guard and some swimsuit bottoms. I loved the feeling of the water against my skin.
&nb
sp; She scraped her tongue against the roof of her mouth, making a face. “But it doesn’t taste so hot.”
“You’re not supposed to drink it,” I said wryly.
“I can’t help it. I—Whoa!” A big wave shoved us violently toward shore. Keilana screamed and wrapped her arms around my neck as we surged forward.
“Put your feet down. You need to let me go!” I yelled, trying to pry her hands from me, knowing what was coming next. But she was too frightened to do more than grasp me in an iron grip far more powerful than anyone would have guessed she could muster. I coughed, stupidly swallowing a mouthful of salty water myself as I tried to dig my heels in sand. But it was no use. I was off balance and when the tide moved back out, the surge of water swept us both off our feet yanking us backward into water well over our heads.
Keilana panicked, her arms and legs flailing as she wrapped herself around me. “Cadie!” she half-screamed, half-sputtered, in a high-pitched voice that sent a rush of adrenaline tearing through me. Before I could react, we both were dragged beneath the water and it took every ounce of my will power not to panic myself and violently force Keilana off of me. I’d been in this situation dozens of times myself, but I’d never had anything but the ocean itself pulling me down.
I circled my arms around Keilana and squeezed hard, quelling some of her desperate flailing, then pushed off the bottom, sending both our heads blasting out of the surf. I opened my eyes to the bright blue sky and we both sucked in deep breaths of air. She began coughing and wildly thrashing as she fought to keep from going under.
“Stop.” I pushed her slightly away from me. “Stop!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, and for a split second she froze. I grasped onto her arms and kicked only a few feet toward shore. “It’s okay.” I let out a shaky breath. “We can stand here, put your feet down.”
She coughed a few more times and spat out what had to be a full mouth of seawater. Her face and neck were flushed, then she noticed that we were only a few paces from where we’d been playing all morning. Her cheeks grew even redder. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“S’okay.” I searched out her eyes when she dropped her gaze from mine. “I should have taught you what to do if that happens right off. That’s my fault, not yours.” And it really was. I’d been too busy having fun to notice that the waves had gotten progressively rougher. “Let’s head back to our blanket and just relax for a while.”
Her feet seemed to be rooted in the sand and the face that had been pink only a few seconds ago, now looked a little pale. Her fear was hitting home.
I felt horrible. “Are you okay?”
She licked her lips and nodded, doing her best to smile though her chin was trembling. “I’m okay.”
I stepped forward and laid my palms on the sides of her face, stroking her cheekbones with my thumbs and glancing up into her eyes. They were vivid, tinged with anxiety and something else.
Neither one of us said anything, but everything about Keilana communicated volumes. I could see her pulse began to pound through the pale skin of her neck and knew her thoughts mirrored mine.
She trailed the backs of her fingers up my throat and over my chin, finally tangling them in my hair as she tugged me closer. “Cadie,” she whispered breathily.
My gaze dropped to her lips, full and inviting, and I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop myself. I leaned forward and kissed her, letting my mouth linger and losing myself in the utter sweetness of the moment.
Her hand tightened in my hair and she let out a moan that set my senses ablaze. I deepened the kiss, swirling my tongue around hers, tasting her, and feeling my nipples grow painfully, deliciously hard. We moved forward until our bodies were sliding tightly together all along their lengths. Heat exploded within me and chased away the chill of the water. Her skin was as soft as I’d remembered.
Keilana tenderly traced each of my lips with her tongue, giving the lower lip a gentle suck before kissing me hungrily. It was too much. My control snapped completely, and moaning with abandon, we began to devour each other the way I’d dreamt of doing for weeks.
“Whoo-hoo! Yeah, ladies! Can we play too?”
We were wrenched out of the moment by a couple of young guys carrying boogie boards, their dogs running up and down the beach. The men began to clap and hoot at us and regretfully I pulled away from Keilana. My senses were still reeling as I turned to face the assholes that had spoiled the perfect moment. “Show’s over, you pubescent sons of bitches!” I growled, wanting to grab their snickering faces and hold them underwater.
The men hollered and laughed as they moved on up the beach.
They’d broken the spell I was under and the magnitude of what I’d just done crashed over me, more ferocious than any wave I’ve ever experienced. I’d started something I couldn’t finish.
Keilana hadn’t moved an inch. She was watching me intently, an utterly open look on her face. I swallowed hard, unable to meet her eyes. Oh, God. “Keil—” I had to swallow again before I could finish her name. “Keilana ...” I dared to glance up. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I hoped she could see my honest anguish. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
She blinked slowly, looking as though she wasn’t processing what I was saying. “What? What did you just say?”
“Jesus, I’m sorry.” I reached out for her arm but she jerked it way. “I’m so sorry. We can’t. We—”
Her beautiful face had turned to stone before my eyes. “We can’t be that to each other, right? Am I just some big game to you? Someone whose feelings you can screw around with for fun?”
“No!” I scrubbed my wet hair. “You’re not a game. This is real.” I closed my eyes and paused before ruthlessly adding, “But—”
“But kissing me was some horrible mistake,” she ground out, saying the words before I could and stabbing me in the chest with every single one of them.
Tears welled in her eyes and I couldn’t bear it.
Just then another wave pushed her forward a few paces from me and she went with it, practically running back to shore.
“Keilana! Wait!” I called, but I stayed where I was. I didn’t trust myself to be close to her right now. I didn’t trust myself to keep from spilling the beans about everything and dropping to my knees to beg her forgiveness.
She didn’t look back at me as she snatched up her blanket and beach bag. The one with the cars keys in it. She was furious at me and I couldn’t blame her.
When she was out of sight, I swam out into the ocean using powerful strokes to take me far from the beach. When I was so far out that the people looked like ants I tilted my head skyward and screamed until my throat was raw. I didn’t have a clue about what to do, about what was best for us all, and for the first time I seriously wondered whether I’d be able to complete this job and still keep my sanity.
Loving Keilana was like quicksand. I’d been sucked in before I could stop myself and now I was floundering with no way out.
The best thing I’d ever experienced was killing me.
Chapter Six
Another week went by and in all that time Keilana barely spoke to me. Every bit of the warmth that had blossomed in our relationship had evaporated the moment my lips pressed against hers. Well, not with the kissing itself, which was fantastic, but with my rejection of her afterwards. I knew I’d stung her pride and self-esteem. But Keilana wasn’t the only one hurting. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to go to class. I just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and make the entire world go away.
Somehow I’d managed to fire off two more reports to the Poppenhouses, the last one recommending that they terminate their surveillance of their daughter. Keilana was attending class and she hadn’t gone anywhere but Billie’s house or the library after school all week.
If she was in a romantic relationship with Billie, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to out her to her parents. And, as much as I hated to admit it, if Billie and Keilana were lovers, it didn’t
seem to be hurting Keilana at the moment. There was no reason, other than the pathetic truth—that I wanted Keilana for myself—to mess up that relationship. Keilana’s parents could go to hell if they didn’t like it.
A low-level depression had settled over me, but an almost-desperate Russ had convinced me to get off my ass and finish what I’d started. He reminded me that Keilana might still need me. And while I doubted that was really true, I wasn’t willing to let her down again.
I’d given up even trying to participate in class, and that had left me plenty of time to do some real detective work. But as with this entire case, the answers I got just led to more questions.
A guy named Jessie Albonianco owned the house where Keilana had left Billie and the black backpack. There was no marriage license or a filing for divorce for Jessie and Billie, but after some digging I found a birth certificate for a Joshua Albonianco, born in 1998. That had to be the Josh that Billie mentioned the night we met. Supposing that was true, that meant Billie’s name wasn’t Billie at all. The mother on Josh’s birth certificate was listed as Hazel Jane Allen.
I’d been able to trace Billie’s last place of employment to a bar in Ocean Beach. But it turned out that Billie hadn’t worked there for over six months. After that, her employment trail went cold.
Suddenly, Keilana barreled through the front door of our cottage, and with a frown, I closed my case notebook. “Hi.”
She gave me a quick nod of acknowledgment but no verbal answer.
She was wearing her workout clothes, her body covered in a thin sheen of perspiration. I’d given up watching her as she worked out. She always did the same thing and she never went anyplace until she’d come home and showered.
Keilana had seen me write in my notebook a time or two before and I’d simply explained it away as a journal. I was surprised when she didn’t ask more about it, or exhibit any curiosity at all. But then I remembered that everyone isn’t the meddling, prying person that I am.
Undercover Tales Page 15
