by Tara Sivec
“Why don’t you come inside. We can have some iced tea and talk. I’ve missed you, and Abby,” I tell her, thinking about her ten-year-old daughter, whom I fell in love with when she started attending camp a few years ago, and haven’t seen at all since Aiden’s funeral.
“Oh, save it, Cameron. Like you ever gave a shit about either one of us,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t even know why you introduced me to Aiden when you just wanted him for yourself.”
It’s the same thing she accused me of after Aiden’s funeral, and the reason we haven’t talked since then, but her words are still like a knife to the heart. She was my friend. There was no one happier than me when I got to watch her and my best friend fall in love, and it broke my heart that Michelle finally found happiness after her husband was killed overseas, only to have it ripped away from her again.
“Michelle, you know that’s not true. Aiden was my friend. I never wanted anything but for you guys to be happy. I’m so sorry you and Abby lost him.”
Everett doesn’t say anything, but his hand slides up my spine and cups the back of my neck, massaging it gently, silently giving me his comfort and support.
“Aiden was my second chance. I was finally able to be happy again after I lost my husband and you couldn’t even let me have that. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to always come in second in your own fiancé’s life, even when he was dying? I gave him everything, and it was never enough because I wasn’t you. Perfect little Cameron, with her perfect little life. He worshiped you and you just ate it up. He followed you around like a puppy, even more so after you started getting those stupid letters. Canceling plans with me and Abby just to make sure nothing happened to pathetic little Cameron,” she sneers, venom filling her voice.
“What letters?” Everett finally asks.
Michelle looks away from me to smile unkindly at Everett.
“Oh, didn’t you know? Poor Cameron was being threatened. My fiancé gave up time with me and my daughter for her. Because she always came first. Her safety was all that mattered. Even in the end, he didn’t want me by his bedside, he wanted her,” she states through clenched teeth, turning her murderous look in my direction. “You didn’t even try to help. You didn’t even care that it should have been me holding his hand when he died, telling him I loved him and giving him comfort.”
Setting the box on the porch railing next to me, I take a step away from Everett toward Michelle, tears clouding my vision as I move down the stairs, wanting to wrap her in my arms and make her believe that none of what she’s saying is true. I tried explaining to her several times why Aiden didn’t want her there at the end, but she never believed me. She never understood that Aiden didn’t want her last memories to be of the frail, weak patient he’d become, and not the strong, handsome man she fell in love with. It was one of the only arguments Aiden and I ever had when he was sick. Michelle deserved to be there, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Just like he didn’t want Everett to see him like that.
I pause halfway down the steps when she holds up her hands to stop me.
“Dry your tears, sweetheart. I don’t need them, and I don’t need any of your bullshit explanations. I just wanted to give you your stuff and tell you to stop trying to contact me. I don’t want your phone calls, I don’t want your texts, and I don’t want you anywhere near me or my daughter.”
With that, she turns and walks away, gets into her car, and peels down the driveway.
“Jesus, and I thought I was the jealous one,” Everett mutters, making me smile through my tears like he always does.
“I thought she was my friend. I thought if I just kept trying to reach out to her, she’d be able to push aside her anger and grief enough to listen to me,” I tell him.
He moves down a few steps to stand behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders and kissing the top of my head. He doesn’t even need to say anything; just having him here is comfort enough.
Everett and I stand quietly on the porch, watching her drive away, until Amelia interrupts the moment, jogging across the front lawn and stopping at the base of the steps. She looks back over her shoulder at Michelle’s car as it disappears down the driveway.
“Was that Michelle? Is she finally ready to talk to you?” Amelia asks, turning back around to face me and noticing the tears in my eyes. “I take it that’s a no. I’m sorry, honey. She just needs more time.”
I nod, swiping the tears off my cheeks, knowing that no amount of time will ever heal the pain and anger in Michelle’s heart.
“Sorry to ruin your day even more, but another piece of fan mail came today,” Amelia tells me sarcastically. “I was going to just put it in the file with the rest, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to look at it first.”
With a sigh, I take the envelope she’s holding in her outstretched hand, ripping it open and pulling the folded piece of paper out of it.
“What the fuck?” Everett mutters, leaning against my side to read over my shoulder.
You will regret ruining my life.
“It’s nothing,” I tell him, refolding the paper and shoving it back in the envelope before handing it back to Amelia. “Go ahead and file it with the others.”
Amelia starts to take the envelop, but Everett quickly snatches it away.
“This isn’t nothing, Cameron. This is serious. Is this what Michelle was talking about?”
The light, teasing voice and bright, shining eyes from just moments ago when he was joking about us showering together are long gone, as well as the silent comfort he gave me during Michelle’s visit. Everett is clutching the envelope so hard in his fist that his knuckles are turning white.
“Everett, it’s fine. We get letters like this all the time,” I tell him, deciding to keep it to myself that we’ve never received ones quite this threatening before, considering how pissed off he is right now.
“What the hell do you mean you get letters like this all the time? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” he growls through clenched teeth.
My need to keep him calm vanishes in a flash, I forget all about my hurt and sadness over Michelle’s accusations, and I cross my arms angrily in front of me as I stare him down.
“Maybe because I knew you’d react just like this,” I fire back, annoyed that he’s making such a big deal about nothing.
“How the fuck do you expect me to react when I’m just now finding out that you’ve been getting threatened?!” he shouts.
“Aaaaand that’s my cue to leave,” Amelia mutters, slowly backing away from us. “Jason and I have dinner plans, so you two kids try and manage not to kill each other while I’m gone.”
I don’t even say good-bye to her, I’m too busy staring Everett down. And I’m too angry even to acknowledge the fact that Jason finally grew some balls and asked Amelia out. They’ve been joined at the hip since the day after the charity dinner, when Amelia gave him hell after helping him put his drunk date in a cab and sending her home.
I’ll have plenty of time to be happy for my friend after I give Everett a piece of my mind.
“I need to go to the police with these. Make some calls and see what the fuck is going on. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this,” he mutters, shaking his head and looking down at the letter still clutched tightly in his fist.
“Stop acting like a Neanderthal and like I don’t know what I’m doing,” I argue. “I didn’t tell you about this because it’s not that big of a deal. My parents had been getting letters like this long before I took over the camp. And in case you didn’t notice, things have been a little crazy around here lately and it wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of things we should discuss.”
“Clearly you don’t know what you’re doing since the letters haven’t stopped coming!” he shouts.
Before I say something I might regret, I turn and walk away from him, stomping down the steps as I go.
“Cameron!” Everett yells after me.
“Screw you!” I shout back as I keep
walking.
It was bad enough that Aiden got overly protective of me when the notes became increasingly threatening, making Michelle hate me and think he loved me more. I can’t change the past, but I can damn sure make different choices going forward. Like not letting Everett turn all alpha male and think I can’t take care of myself.
Chapter 34
Everett
I find Cameron sitting on the end of the dock by the lake an hour later, with her legs dangling over the edge. Shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, I start walking down the wooden planks toward her.
I probably shouldn’t have let her walk away earlier, but I knew we both needed some time to cool off. I felt like a dick for losing it with her, but I couldn’t help it. Something didn’t sit right with me when I read that letter. Something tugged at the back of my mind when I read those words, but I couldn’t figure out why. I reacted first without thinking. All I could imagine was something horrible happening to Cameron and it scared the shit out of me.
I walk right up to Cameron’s side, pull my hands out of my pockets, and ease myself down next to her, hanging my legs down over the edge with her.
“I’m sorry. I was an asshole.”
I stare at her profile, a light breeze kicking up a few pieces of her hair and blowing them around her face. Reaching over, I push them away and tuck them behind her ear so I can see her better.
She finally turns to look at me and lets out a long sigh.
“I didn’t keep the letters from you on purpose. I honestly forgot about them until that moment.”
“I know,” I tell her with a nod. “And I’m sorry.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know they’re serious, even though the camp has been getting letters like that for years and nothing has ever happened. I would never, ever put the kids that come here in that kind of danger. The police get a copy of every one we get, and we keep the originals in a file in the office,” she explains.
“I know,” I repeat. “But it’s not just the kids I was worried about. If anything ever happens to you—”
She cuts me off by pressing her fingers to my lips.
“I was going to tell you, I promise. And I’m also sorry for acting like a bitch. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and walked away. Michelle showing up and saying those things rattled me, and then Amelia giving me another letter at the worst possible time…” she apologizes, trailing off.
Wrapping my hand around her wrist, I pull her fingers away from my mouth and kiss the palm of her hand before lacing my fingers through hers. I tug on our joined hands to get her to move closer to me, resting them in my lap.
“You’re kind of hot when you’re pissed off.”
She rolls her eyes at me, and I feel some of the pressure in my chest ease. As much as I like fighting with her, I don’t like it when she’s mad at me because I was acting like an asshole.
We sit at the edge of the dock, looking out at the lake in front of us in silence for a few minutes, before Cameron speaks again.
“Aiden was really pissed off when he found out about the letters, too, which you already sort of know now,” she says quietly.
A knot forms in my chest when she says his name, but not like it used to. Not because of jealousy or guilt. This time, it’s because I know I’ve been an asshole for never really talking about our best friend since I’ve been home. Not even in the last week after I found out Aiden and Cameron were never in love.
I should have asked. I should have learned my lesson last time about not asking the right questions, but obviously I didn’t. I’ve been too busy getting Cameron naked as often as possible in the last seven days, but as fun as that has been, we have to be able to communicate with each other to make this work. We spent too many years not talking about important things, and I don’t want to fuck this up now that we’re in a good place.
“God, he’d be making so much fun of us right now,” she says with a small smile, shaking her head.
“He’d still try to get in your pants, and then ask me to rate you on a scale of one to ten,” I add with my own smile.
“He was a horrible date. I can’t believe I repeated it two more times after the first disaster,” she complains. “I blame you for that, by the way.”
I can actually laugh about this now. It feels good to think about Aiden and not hate him, and then hate myself for feeling that way.
“You have every right to blame me. I take full responsibility. I already heard about how he tried to grab your hand and you spilled wine all over him,” I tell her.
She looks at me questioningly.
“Amelia,” I add.
“Of course,” she replies with a roll of her eyes. “That was the last straw. Although the last straw should have come after the first date when he took me to the movies and kept leaving to go out in the lobby and take calls from a bunch of his skanks that kept calling.”
“He didn’t!”
“Oh, he did,” she nods with a laugh. “But I mean, that’s Aiden. It’s who he was and why I loved him, because he was so ridiculous and full of life, never wanting to miss an opportunity to have fun. I knew damn well I wasn’t going to be the person who made him change, and I didn’t want that job anyway, which is why I quickly realized dating him was the dumbest idea ever.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes, lost in thought as she looks out at the lake again.
“God, you should have seen him with Michelle and Abby. They were his game changers,” she says wistfully.
“I still don’t believe it. Even seeing Michelle and hearing her say they were engaged. I cannot believe our Aiden fell in love with a woman who had a kid. He hated kids. Every time he was at camp, he would cringe when they came up to him, afraid they’d get his fancy suits dirty.”
“He was so different with her. With both of them. The first time he looked at Michelle, I just knew. I could see it in his eyes. He never spoke to another skank, and he loved Abby like she was his own,” Cameron explains.
Sadness blankets her face and tears fill her eyes.
“Today was the first time I’ve seen her since the funeral. As you heard her say, I’ve tried calling her and texting her, but she doesn’t respond. She took it really hard. I mean, obviously she did, and I tried to help her as much as I could, but her stages of grief were all screwed up. She went right into anger and everything I did made it worse. She started blaming me for all the time she lost with him because he was with me instead of her and Abby. It was just too painful for her to be here and be around me because it reminded her of him. And all this time, she’s been jealous and letting it fester and grow into hatred. It sucks. We were friends and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her against my side. I wish for the hundredth time that I had pulled my head out of my ass sooner after I got home from overseas. Cameron went through so much, and I wasn’t here to help her, and I hate that.
“I don’t really want to ask this, but I have to. Do you think Michelle is the one sending the letters?”
Cameron pulls her head back and shakes it quickly.
“No. No way.”
I can hear the doubt in her voice that doesn’t match her words, especially with how angry and hateful Michelle was toward her earlier, but I don’t want to argue with her. I know it will piss her off, but I’m still going to place my own call to the police about those letters. I don’t like knowing it could be someone who knows Cameron and everything about her, and could use that to their advantage to scare her. I also plan on doing some digging into that asshole, Grady Stevens. Cameron told me the other day how weird and possessive he got as soon as I showed up here, and I don’t like some of the things she told me he said to her. Especially the part about how she ruined his life. It’s pretty much word for word what was written on that damn letter I saw a little while ago.
“It’s hard for people to move on. To let go of the hurt and sadness and fear and just learn to live again and be
happy,” I tell her.
“Is this why you haven’t taken a job at a hospital? Are you afraid? Do you miss not traveling the world and staying in one place?” she asks softly.
After four years abroad, I still have some time before I need to make the decision about signing back up for another assignment with Doctors Without Borders, but I already know what I’m going to do. I knew it as soon as I got back on U.S. soil ten months ago.
“I do miss it. I just…” I trail off, trying to get my thoughts in order.
I haven’t told anyone about my decision or the reasons behind it, but Cameron deserves to know. We’ve spent weeks reestablishing our friendship, and another week developing more, but we haven’t really discussed anything important. She needs to know everything about me and the things I’ve done before this can go any further.
I’ve tried to act like her dad’s sudden dislike of me is no big deal and doesn’t bother me, but it does. It hurts. And every time he glares at me or walks out of the room when I enter it, it brings up that shitty, stupid memory from the night before my first deployment. The reason why I pushed her to date Aiden. The reason why I spent four years away from her.
“He’s not good enough for her. Would it kill the guy to smile every once in a while? If Cameron’s going to be with anyone, it should be someone who makes her happy, not someone she exhausts herself trying to fix.”
Those words Mr. James spoke to Cameron’s mom that night have never left me. They planted themselves deep inside my brain and I let them fester for years. It’s only gotten worse in the last week. Every time I touch her, every time I kiss her, I hear his voice in my head saying I’m not good enough, and a part of me knows he’s right. A part of me is scared shitless that when she knows everything about me, she’s going to realize it, too.
“There’s a line between good and evil. Right and wrong. I spent all of my life making sure I never crossed that line. Not with you, not with anyone,” I tell her, looking out at the lake so I don’t have to see her face and possibly see the same thing I see in her dad’s eyes when he looks at me. “I always made the right choices. I always did what was good and I always did what was right and I never thought I’d ever have to make a decision that would change that. Then I went overseas.”
