As much as I wanted her all to myself, as much as I wanted to be selfish and claim her as my own, I couldn’t do that to her. If she wanted to keep Lincoln and Edward as well as me, I couldn’t deny her.
Despite the awful feelings in my gut, hope swelled within me. This could very well be the start of something good. Something I’d wanted for years now, even before that mess with Julie. Granted, I didn’t exactly want other people in the relationship, but at this point it was what it was.
Only Stella would decide how this ended.
Chapter Twenty-Six – Stella
My feet took me slowly down the hall, and I stopped when I stood at the top of the stairs. The three guys had gathered at its base. Each and every one of them stared up at me, their eyes hopeful.
A warm feeling rose inside me as I studied them. They were each handsome in their own way. Lincoln with his wide shoulders and thick muscles. Edward with his lean figure and sloppy blonde hair, blue eyes that twinkled every time I walked in the room. Even Killian was attractive, freckles, red hair and all—there was a seriousness about him I’d never noticed before. Or maybe he’d hidden it from me. Maybe now I saw him for what he was truly was.
They were all killers. Their hands were stained with blood, just as mine were now. We were so alike, really, even if some of our masks were not as well-practiced as others. Mine, being the first and foremost there. My mask was not as great as it should’ve been. People always knew something was off about me. They were intrigued by my heterochromia and then, after they’d gotten to know me, they scattered, wanting nothing to do with me or my eyes.
My parents would die of shame and mortification if they knew what I was about to do. Callie, if she wasn’t mad at me, would probably say something along the lines of you get it, girl. I didn’t care what other people thought. It was an aspect of myself that hadn’t changed in fifteen years.
Other people could go fuck themselves.
As I took my first step down the stairs, I watched as the group of three men spread out, giving me room to walk by. When I made it down, I paused as I stood between them. Surrounded by three men, my body hummed. I couldn’t ignore the pull I felt toward them. Killian as my Angel Maker—I didn’t want to throw myself at him, but I wanted to explore the feelings I had. I deserved the chance, didn’t I?
Standing between them, I spoke, dragging my eyes to look at each of them, “I’m still upset with you. All of you. I don’t like being lied to. None of you get to decide what to hide from me and what to tell me.”
Killian was the first to nod along with me, Edward the second. Lincoln was last, though I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t really agree with what I was saying or if he was just too busy glaring at Killian.
“You wanted me to choose,” I spoke, hating that I had been a part of some ridiculous competition when it came to my affections. I was my own person, damn it, and I had the right to know what was going on around me. Edward and Lincoln might use me in the bedroom however they wanted, but outside of it? Outside it I would not sit back and be submissive.
Not anymore.
“You each wanted me to pick a side,” I said, finally moving past them. Standing between them, I felt so small. My eyes fell to the floor. Not once in my life had I ever felt as bold as I did right now. Our useless fight aside, Callie would be proud. I turned to face them, taking in each of their expressions before I added, “I’m not going to.”
They wanted me to choose between them? Edward and Lincoln or my Angel Maker? I chose option C, because neither option before me I could choose without feeling some kind of regret. I would always wonder what I missed, what could’ve been. I might’ve lived my life on the passenger side in the past, but now I wanted to be the driver. This was my life. I got to decide what I did. Not these men. And if they didn’t like it…
Well, I hadn’t exactly thought of that, but they were entitled to their own opinions, too.
“I don’t want to choose,” I broke the silence of the room, when none of the guys said anything. “I want to continue with how things were.” Moving to Edward, I lightly touched his arm, feeling his muscles tightening under my fingertips. I glanced at Lincoln, expecting him to be scowling.
And I was right, but it wasn’t the worst scowl I’d seen on his face, so I took it for a win.
“But,” I paused, pulling away from Edward to gaze at Killian, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel something for my Angel Maker. I want to explore those feelings.”
I didn’t touch him, didn’t rub up against him, but I did meet Killian’s eyes. Their emerald depths held a world of emotion I was only starting to understand. With any luck, in time I would understand it all.
The dickish things Killian had said, how he’d acted at last year’s Christmas party; I couldn’t blame him for the cracks in his mask.
Plus, alcohol did make people do stupid things, not that it was any excuse.
There was more to Killian than I ever could’ve known, and I couldn’t just walk away from him now. I had to know more, had to see it all, but I did not want to lose Edward and Lincoln in the process.
For their part, Edward and Lincoln only shared a look. They did not argue with me, nor did they look particularly surprised at what I’d proposed.
“Now, unless someone doesn’t agree, is there anything else you’ve been keeping from me?” Silence followed my question, and I took it to mean we were all finally in the know. No more lies, no more hidden truths. Everything was out in the open, just as it should be, and I felt a smile spreading across my lips.
Did it make me selfish, the things I wanted—Edward, Lincoln, and my Angel Maker? Was I some conceited psychopath, playing a game she’d never win? Maybe.
Or maybe I was right where I was meant to be.
Hello, dear readers. This, I regret to inform you, will be my last blog post for a little while. I’m taking a hiatus, because there are things I have to do in my life. Things that are going to start taking up more time, and unfortunately, I don’t see myself as having enough time to properly write and manage this blog, at least for a while.
My life has been a whirlwind lately. I don’t expect each and every one of you will understand, but I hope most of you do. It is not easy for me to step away from this blog. I started this back in high school, and it has evolved over the years, become a part of me just like my own beating heart.
Readers, I have seen it.
I have stared the beast in the face and lived to tell the tale with my mind intact and my body only a little worse for wear. I have looked the monster himself in the eyes and saw what truth sat behind them. I have walked in the darkness and felt surrounded by an old friend.
It is a cold, dark world we live in. Nothing is what it first appears. Every beast has a face, and sometimes they’re not what you expect. I go, unafraid, walking into the darkness with my head held high, and I invite each and every one of you to join me.
The darkness is now my home—and the beasts have my heart.
Thank you for reading! Please think about leaving a review, even if it’s a short one. They really make us indie authors happy (and let us know that people are actually reading our work). Twenty words and a star—that’s all it takes!
My mailing list: http://eepurl.com/dppf_v
Also, I love talking about books (not just mine. Any book. I LOVE books!) in general on my Twitter: www.twitter.com/CandaceWondrak and on Instagram: www.instagram.com/CandaceWondrak
My Facebook Group: Candace’s Cult of Captivation where you can get all the updates on new releases! https://www.facebook.com/groups/234452154135994/
Oh, and don’t worry. This isn’t the end for Stella and her psychopaths. Sick Twisted Minds will be coming soon…
Cold Dark Souls : A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (Cruel Black Hearts Book 2) Page 18
