by Nikki Ash
“I miss her so much,” she cries. Her shoulders begin to shake, and when I push her hair out of her face, tears are racing down her cheeks. I don’t bother to wipe them away, knowing they won’t stop coming until she falls asleep.
Instead, I hold her close, telling her how much I love her, because that’s all she really needs. To be comforted. The day we lost my sister, we also lost my father. My mom didn’t take her death well, and my father couldn’t handle taking care of my mom. He turned to the bottle and eventually his drunk ass left, leaving me to pick up the pieces. A few years later, he died from kidney failure.
“She would’ve been thirty-one today,” Mom says. “My baby never got to live her life.” I do the math in my head, and she’s right. Audrina overdosed when I was seventeen and she was eighteen. It’s one of the reasons why I decided on my career of choice. I first got my EMT license and then joined the fire academy. I wanted to save people, since I couldn’t save my sister.
While my mom cries into my chest, I hold her, running my fingers through her hair and trying to calm her down. As long as I’m here, she won’t drink, and since she’s still awake, it seems I got here before she drank too much.
I don’t know how long I hold her for, but when my phone vibrates for the millionth time in my pocket, I remember that I was so worried about my mom, I forgot to tell Georgia I was leaving.
Carefully, so I don’t wake my mom, I pull my phone out. The time on the phone says it’s four o’clock. I’ve been holding my mom for several hours. My heart breaks all over again for my mom. Some people rise up after a tragic event, others drown in it. If I weren’t here to hold my mom up, she would drown.
The other three hundred and sixty-three days, she handles life. She works as a waitress at a local diner—the same one she’s been working at since I was little—and pays her bills. She owns the home she lives in and refuses to move elsewhere. I’ve begged and pleaded, but she won’t leave the home where Audrina grew up. Her room is the same way it was when she died, and she won’t let anyone touch a thing. I’ve tried to get her to see someone, to get help, but she won’t. I’ve spoken to a few people about it, and everyone says the same thing—unless she wants to get help, I can’t make her. She’s not an alcoholic, she doesn’t do drugs, so there’s nothing I can do.
Georgia: Hey, you left… Everything okay?
Georgia: I’m worried.
Alec: Yo, where you at?
Alec: Everyone’s worried. I called the station and nobody’s heard from you.
Gently, I set my mom down on the bed. She stirs but stays asleep. I type out a group text to Alec and Georgia.
Me: Sorry I left in a rush. I won’t be able to make it tonight.
Alec knows I had a sister who died but doesn’t know the specifics, and Georgia doesn’t know anything about my family, so trying to explain it all in a text isn’t exactly the best way to tell them. I hate that I won’t be able to be with Georgia tonight, but my mom needs me. I’m all she has.
After a brief conversation through text with Georgia and Alec, who tell me if I need anything to let them know, I tell them to have a good time and then start cleaning up the house for my mom. The place is a disaster. My mom usually keeps the house clean. Everything in it is aged, but she’s always made sure to take care of what she owns. Based on the dirty dishes and empty alcohol bottles all over, I would guess she started drinking last night, probably had whatever guy she’s sleeping with over, and took her pain over losing my sister out on the place.
Just as I’m finishing up, Mom comes out of her room, her eyes glossy with new tears. “I’m so sorry,” she says, enveloping me in a hug. “Every birthday, every anniversary of her death, I tell myself I won’t do this…”
“It’s okay, Mom,” I tell her, hugging her back. “You’re doing the best you can.”
She glances around and sighs. “Thank you for cleaning up.”
“How’re you feeling?”
“I’m… okay. If you don’t have any plans, would you like to go to the cemetery with me?”
“Of course. Why don’t you go shower and get dressed, and then I’ll drive us over.”
“Thank you, Chase,” she says, wiping a tear that’s escaped, before heading back to her room.
The drive to the cemetery is quiet, and so is the walk over to where she was buried. But once we’re there, Mom starts reminiscing about the past. We spend the next few hours talking about how smart and sweet Audrina was. The truth is, she had a bright future ahead of her. Until she met Danny. He was a bad boy, and she thought he was cool. She swore they loved each other and she would do anything for him, including drugs. Mom and Dad tried to get her away from him, but it only made her want him that much more. Everyone said it was just a phase and she would get through it… Unfortunately, she died before she could.
Tests revealed the drugs she took were laced with something that caused her heart to stop. She overdosed in the living room of Danny’s house, and because he was too wasted, he didn’t notice. And when he finally did, it was too late.
Once we’re both cried out, we decide to grab something to eat. It’s late, after midnight, so I take us to a diner, where we order breakfast for dinner, which was Audrina’s favorite.
“How are you doing?” Mom asks.
I pop a piece of pancake into my mouth. “I’m good. Just working…chilling. The usual.”
“Any new women?” she asks with a hint of a smile.
Mom used to be close to Victoria, considered her to be a daughter, and when she started doing drugs, she was right there, trying to get her help. She never wanted Victoria to end up like Audrina. But when she found out what Victoria did… let’s just say blood is thicker than water.
Now, every time we talk, she asks me if I’m seeing anyone. She’s mentioned on several occasions she would love to have a grandchild. Since I’m now her only living child, I’m the only one who can give her one.
“Nope,” I tell her, refusing to think about Georgia and the fact that she’s probably out right now, dancing with some guy who’ll ask her for her number… Because she’s gorgeous and any guy would be stupid not to.
Mom eyes me, and I can tell she’s about to grill me, but my phone goes off. I glance at the text from Alec, reading it several times, refusing to believe what it says. The gods wouldn’t do this… not today of all days.
“Chase,” Mom prompts. “Everything okay?”
“No.” I shoot out of my seat and pull a couple of twenties out of my pocket to pay for our food. I don’t know how much it is, but it doesn’t matter.
I’m out the door and in my car in seconds, heading to Los Angeles General Hospital. My mind is racing, and my only focus is getting there, so when my mom asks, “What’s going on?” it hits me that she’s in the car with me. I should’ve dropped her off at home, but I wasn’t thinking.
“A friend of mine is in the hospital. Once we get there, I’ll pay for a car to take you home. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Oh no,” she says. “That’s okay. What’s wrong? Who is it?”
Shit, I don’t want to tell her what’s wrong. She doesn’t even know Georgia, but I know she’ll take it hard.
“It’s Georgia…”
“Your roommate?” she questions. “I never hear you talk about her.” I glance over at her and swallow down my emotions, thankful my mom is here with me right now.
“We’ve become close… friends,” I choke out, hating that fucking word. “She was brought to the hospital because—”
Before I can finish my sentence, my phone dings with an incoming text from Alec letting me know her room number.
“Is she okay?” Mom asks.
“I don’t know. Let me call you a cab…”
“No.” She shakes her head. “This fancy phone you gave me for Mother’s Day can do that. You go, and once you know what’s going on, please let me know.”
She pulls me into a hug. “I love you, Chase.”
I look into her eyes.
“You sure you’ll be okay?” It’s still Audrina’s birthday, and the last thing I want to do is leave my mom alone.
“Don’t you dare worry about me,” she says. “I promise I’m okay now. Thank you for today. Now go.”
We walk to the front of the hospital together, and then after hugging one more time, I take off inside. Since I’m in the system, they let me go through without asking questions. Every step toward her room has my heart thumping outside of my chest, and by the time I get there, I’m so worked up, it’s hard to breathe.
With a quick knock, I walk in and find Tristan, Charlie, Lexi, and Alec all standing around a very still, very pale Georgia. If it weren’t for the heart monitor beeping, I would think she’s dead. Visions of my sister surface. Her ice cold body, blue lips, pale face. Her un-beating heart.
“What the fuck happened?” I growl, barely able to contain the anger that’s radiating through my veins.
Everyone’s eyes swing over to me, but Tristan is the one to speak. “She was drugged.”
“Yeah, I got that from Alec’s text. But what. The. Fuck. Happened?”
“She was talking to this guy…” Lexi starts, but her words are garbled from her crying and she can’t finish her sentence. Alec wraps his arms around her and moves her to the couch.
“She was dancing with this guy, and she started to feel sick,” Alec says. “He offered to take her home, but we told him no. She was complaining of feeling hot and lightheaded, and then she dropped to the ground and started having a seizure. The guy took off in the chaos of us calling for an ambulance. They ran tests and found GHB in her system.”
Fucking GHB? “She was roofied?” My hands fist at my sides, ready to punch something. “Where is this asshole?” I will kill him, consequences be damned. There’s no way another fucking murderer is getting away.
“The cops checked the cameras and are asking around, but we only know his first name—Kenny,” Alec says.
“You should’ve been watching her!” I bark.
“I was!” Alec yells back. “You don’t think I feel like shit? Of course I do!”
“Hey,” Tristan says. “Shit happens. I’m pissed too, and if I ever see that fucker, he’s dead, but Alec and your friends were all there. He called nine-one-one, and she’s alive because of it.”
I walk over to her and take her hand in mine, needing to calm myself down. I know realistically it wasn’t Alec’s fault, but he’s the only person I can blame until I find the guy who did this to her.
Someone pushes a chair toward me, and I take it, sitting next to her. I entwine our fingers together and drop my face to her knuckles, trying to inhale her scent. She smells faintly of the perfume she wears, but mostly all I can smell is the hospital, and flashbacks from when I came to this same hospital to see Audrina surface. I try like hell to push them back. Georgia is alive. She’s going to be okay—unlike my sister, who will never take another breath again.
“Damn it, Georgia,” I say under my breath. “I never should’ve let you go out without me.” Tears prick my eyes, and I swallow down my emotions. I wasn’t there to save my sister all those years ago, and I wasn’t there tonight to keep this from happening to Georgia.
“It still could’ve happened,” Alec points out. “Nobody but that asshole who drugged her is to blame.”
“Maybe not, but I started this. I told her to get out of the house so she could meet someone. Now look at her. She’s been drugged and almost died.” If I had been there, I never would’ve let any of those dickheads near her.
“People take shit every day and are fine,” Tristan says. “Georgia just so happened to have a bad reaction.”
“None of this is your fault,” Charlie says, resting her hand on my shoulder. I glance up and she smiles sadly. “For years Georgia was stuck in that shell of hers. We accepted it because it’s just who she was, but you got her out of the house. She’s been so happy every time we talk. We even went shopping together for a dress, something we’ve never done. She’s been cooking and baking, and she speaks so highly of you…”
I hear what they’re saying, but I should’ve been there with her, protecting her. She’s too fucking naïve, they all are. Raised with silver spoons, they don’t know the bad and ugly out there. But I do, because it’s what killed my sister and then pushed my father away. It’s what destroyed my wife. What keeps my mom living in that shitty fucking neighborhood.
The heart monitor picks up and then Georgia’s eyes flutter open. She starts coughing and wincing, and Charlie runs out to get someone.
“Chase,” she croaks, looking a mixture of in pain and confused. “I… don’t… feel good.”
I grab a garbage can by her bed and raise it up in time for her to dry heave.
“Why isn’t she throwing up?” I ask.
“She had her stomach pumped,” the nurse says, walking briskly into the room. “Hello, there, Georgia, I’m Nurse Kelly. We’re giving you nausea medication, but you might still feel sick. That’s normal. I’ll up the dose for you. Your abdominal muscles will also be sore for a few days. That’s normal as well. We’re giving you fluids because you’re dehydrated.” She goes about checking her, and Georgia, who is too weak to even talk, simply closes her eyes and nods.
We spend the next few hours watching her sleep. Alec’s parents, Mila and Mason, stop by, and Alec leaves to go grab Abigail since Max, Lexi and Georgia’s brother, was keeping an eye on her. But her parents, sister, and I stay.
She eventually wakes up but is groggy, and the doctor says that’s normal. When she’s discharged with a prescription for nausea medication and instructions to rest and drink plenty of fluids, Charlie suggests Georgia goes home with them. But of course Georgia doesn’t want to be fussed over…
“I’m off until Monday,” I tell them. “I can stay with her at the condo. I’ll make sure she’s okay.” There’s no way I’m letting her out of my sight.
Georgia gives me a small, grateful smile. “Thank you.”
The nurse gets her into a wheelchair—per hospital rules—and I wheel her out.
“I’ll go grab the car,” I tell Georgia. “Be right back.”
I run to where I left my car and pull it around to the entrance.
“I’ll be by to check on you,” Lexi says while I help Georgia into the passenger seat. She gives her a hug. “I was so scared.”
“I know,” Georgia tells her. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Lexi says. “I just… all I could imagine…”
“I know,” Georgia says again, knowing what she’s saying without actually saying it. She could’ve been attacked the way Lexi was. Shit could’ve had a way worse ending.
“Take care of my baby,” Charlie says, hugging me. “I’ll be by with soup later.”
“Sounds good,” I tell her.
The ride home is quiet, with Georgia leaning against the window with her eyes closed. I know she’s not asleep, but I don’t know if she’s resting or just doesn’t want to talk.
Without thought, I scoop up her hand and thread her fingers through mine, needing to feel the warmth of her flesh. She’s alive. Her heart is still beating. She’s going to be okay.
She rolls her head toward me and briefly opens her green eyes, and like an electrical current straight to my heart, it hits me: I’m in love with Georgia Scott.
Georgia
“All right, we’ve got blankets, pillows, your favorite red flavored Gatorade, some crackers for you to munch on in case you’re hungry…” Chase glances around, and even though I feel like shit, I can’t help but smile. I never imagined Chase to be such a good nurturer, but he is.
“Anything else?” he asks, the middle of his brows dipping in concern.
“I’m good,” I assure him. “And if you have something—”
“Don’t even dare finish that sentence,” he says, his gaze searing into me. “The only place I want to be is right here with you. We’re going to spend the next forty-eight hours bi
nge watching whatever the hell you want while you rest and heal.” His tone leaves no room for argument, so I don’t.
“I’m going to shower real quick,” he says. “While I do that, figure out what you want to watch.”
“Okay.” I cuddle into the blankets and grab my laptop so I can check my work emails.
“Nope.” He snags my laptop from me. “No work. You need to rest.”
Before I can argue, he’s gone, with the laptop.
Using the remote, I click through the different options of what to watch, but as I’m going from show to show, my mind begins to wander back to last night.
Dancing with Lexi.
Drinking.
Meeting Kenny.
Dancing with Kenny.
Drinking with Kenny.
I was so caught up in trying to find Mr. Perfect, I wasn’t paying attention. And it nearly got me raped… or worse, killed.
How could I be so stupid not to see what his intentions were? All he wanted to do was drug me. The thought is both scary and depressing. I watch women meet men all the time. They flirt and laugh and it leads to more. Why can’t that happen for me? Why does the one guy I actually like not like me back? And the guy I try to get to know, to push the other guy from my thoughts, have to be a crazy psycho?
I sigh and cuddle farther into my blanket. Maybe I just need to take a little break from trying to find the perfect guy… So far this love stuff isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe my perfect path isn’t finding the perfect man, maybe it’s just finding myself. I can focus on cooking and my work…
But even as the thoughts flow through my head, it saddens me. The way my heart feels full when I hold Abigail. The way it thumps against my chest when Chase looks at me and talks to me. I want more. It’s too bad I can’t figure out how to get it. And clearly going to the club isn’t the way to go about it. Not if I want to remain alive…
