by John McElroy
CHAPTER VI. LETTER FROM HOME
THE DEACON'S TROUBLES IN GETTING HOME WITH ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
ONE MORNING the Orderly-Sergeant handed Si the following letter:
Deer Son: I got hoam safely a weke ago, thanks 2 all-protectingProvidens; likewise 2 about 175 pound of tuff & helthy Josiah Klegg.Providens helpt rite along, but it tuk 50-year-old Injianny hickory &whit-leather 2 pull through sum ov the tite plasis.
Abraham Lincoln is as strong as an ox, but I never thought that anythingthat diddent wear horns or chew the cud could be so measly dumb. He kineat as much as Buck, our off-steer, & I declare I don't believe he knowsany more.
We had only bin on the train long enuff for Abe to finish up the wholeof the 3 days rations you provided us with 2 last us home, when Inotist that Blowhard Billings was on board. He was still dressed in fulluniform, & playin off officer yit, but I happened 2 recolleck that hewas no officer no more, & it wuz lucky that I done so. He wuz lookin atme & Abe hard with them mean, fatfish ize ov hizn.
Jest as a matter ov precaushon. I make Abe change seats with me & taikthe inside. Billings{85} caim up. You know what I thought ov him ov old,& there's never bin any love lost betwixt us sence I stopped him cheatinpoor Eli Mitchell outen his plow-team. I told him then that the copperson a dead nigger's eyes wuzzent saif when he wuz around, & I woulddenttrust him ez fur ez I could sling a bull by the tale. He got mad atthis & never got over it. I never encouraged him to. I woulddent feelsatisfied with myself if he wuzzent mad at me. I coulddent change myopinion, even when he tried to steal into respectability by goininto the army. I knowed he'd do anything but fite, & woulddent've binsupprized any day by hearing that him and the other mules in camp haddisappeared together.
Presently Billings he cum up very corjil like & says:
"Howdy, Deacon. I hope you air very well."
I told him I wuz tollable peart, and he says:
"I see a man in the third car forward that wuz inquiring for you, andwanted to see you powerful bad."
"That so?" says I, unconcernedlike.
"Yes," says he. "He wuz awful anxious to see you, and I said I'd sendyou to him if I cum acrost you."
Somehow, I dropped onto it in a minnit that he wuz schemin' to git meaway from Abraham Lincoln--
"Well," says I, "it's about ez fur for me forward to him as it is forhim back here to me. I don't know as I want to see him at all. If hewants to see me so bad let him cum back here."{86}
"I think I'd go forward and see him," said Billings, sort ovimpatient-like. "You'll have no trouble finding him. He's in thethird car from here, up at the front end, right-hand side, next to thewatercooler. He inquired most partickerlerly for you."
"Probably he wants 2 borry money," says I, without stirrin'. "Menthat want particularly 2 see me always do. Well, I hain't got none 2lend--hain't got no more'n 'll talk me hoam."
"You'd better go forward & see him," he said very bossy like, as if hewas orderin me.
"I'd better stay right here, & I'm goin' to stay," says I, so decidedthat Billings see that it was no use.
His patience gave clean away.
"Look here, Klegg," said he, mad as a hornet, "I'm after that ere niggeryou're trying to steal away into Injianny, and by the holy poker I'mgoin' to have him! Come along here, you black ape," and he laid hishand on Abe Lincoln's collar. Abe showed the white ov his eyes as big asbuckeyes, put his arm around the piece betwixt the winders, and held onfor deer life. I see by the grip he tuk that the only way 2 git him wuz2 tear out the side of the car, and I thought I'd let them tussle it outfor a minnit or 2.
The others in the car who thought it grate fun to see aLieutenant-Kurnol wrastlin' with a nigger, laffed and yelled:
"Go it, nigger,"
"Go it, Kurnel,"
"Grab a root,"
"I'l bet on the nigger if the car is stout onuf,"{87} and sich. Jestthen Groundhog cum runnin' up to help Billings, and reached over andketched Abe, but I hit him a good biff with the musket that changed hismind. Billings turned on me, and called out to the others:
"Men, I order you to arrest this man and tie him up."
Sum ov them seemed a-mind to obey, but I sung out:
"Feller-citizens, he ain't no officer--no more'n I am. He ain't got noright to wear shoulder-straps, and he knows it as well as I do."
At this they all turned agin him & began yellin at him 2 put his headin a bag. He turned 2 me savage as a meat-ax, but I ketched him bythe throat, & bent him back over the seat. The Provo-Guard cum up, & Iexplained it 2 them, & showed my passes for me & Abe. So they made usall sit down & keep quiet.
Bimeby we got to Nashville. Abe Lincoln wuz hungry, & I stopped 2 githim something to eat. My gracious, the lot ov ham & aigs at 50 cents aplate & sandwiches at 25 cents a piece that contraband kin eat. He neverseemed 2 git full. He looked longingly at the pies, but I let him look.I wuzzent runnin no Astor House in connexion with the Freedmen's buro.
We walked through the city, crost on the ferry, & wuz jest gittin in thecars which wuz about ready 2 start, when up comes Billings agin, with2 or 3 other men in citizen's cloze. One ov these claps his hand on myshoulder & says:
"I'm a Constable, & I arrest you in the name ov{88} the State ovTennessee for abductin a slave. Make no trubble, but come along withme."
I jest shook him off, & clumb onto the platform, pullin Abe after me.The Constable & his men follered us, but I got Abe Lincoln inside thedoor, shet it & made him put his shoulders agin it. The Constable & his2 assistants wuz buttin away at it, & me grinnin at them when the trainpulled off, & they had 2 jump off. I begin 2 think there wuz somethinggood in Abe Lincoln, after all, & when we stopped at an eatin-plais,about half-way 2 Louisville, & Abe looked at the grub as if he haddenthad a mouthful sence the war begun, I busted a $2-bill all 2 piecesgittin' him a little supper. If I wuz goin into the bizniss ov freeinslaves I'd want 2 have a mule train haulin grub follering me at everystep.
Abe wuz awful hungry agin when we reached Louisville, but I found aplace where a dollar would buy him enuf pork & beans 2 probably last himover the river.
But I begun 2 be efeard that sum nosin pryin Mike Medler might maketrubble in gitting Abe safely acrost the Ohio. I tuk him 2 a house, &laid it down strong 2 him that he must stay inside all day, and 2 makesure I bargained with the woman 2 keep him eating as much as she could.I ruined a $5 bill, & even then Abe looked as if he could hold somemore. I've always made it a pint 2 lend 2 the Lord for the benefit ovthe heathen as much as my means would allow, but I begun 2 think that mymissionary contribushions this year would beat what I was layin out onmy family.{89}
After it got dark, me & Abe meandered down through the streets 2 theferry. There wuzzent many people out, except soljers, & I've got 2 feelpurty much at home with them. They seem more likely 2 think more nearlymy way than folks in every-day clothes.
There wuz quite a passel ov soljers on the wharf boat waitin' for theferry when we got there. They saw at wuns that I had probably bin down2 the front 2 see my son, & sum ov them axed me 2 what rigiment hebelonged. When I told them the 200th Injianny Volunteer Infantry theyall made friends with me at wunst, for they said they knowed it wuz agood rigiment.
Bimeby a big, important-lookin' man, with a club with a silver head fora cane, cum elbowin through the crowd & scowling at everybody as if heowned the wharf-boat & all on it. He stopped in frunt ov Abraham Lincoln& says very sharp & cross:
"Boy, where did you come from?"
Abe diddent say nothin'. His ize got all white, he grinned sort ovscared like, showed his white teeth, & looked sickly over at me. I spokeup & says:
"I brung him along with me from Murfreesboro'."
"So I sposed," said he. "He's a slave you're tryin 2 steal from hismaster. You can't do it. I'll jest take charge ov him myself. That's mydooty here," & he ketched hold ov Abraham Lincoln's collar. Abe, inhis scare, put out his arms to ketch hold ov something, & throwed themaround the big important man, & lifted him clean offen his feet. I never
before realized how strong Abe wuz. The soljers gethered around, purtymad, and then laffin and{90} yellin when they see the man in Abe's arms.Suddenly sum one hollered:
"Throw him overboard; throw him in the river." Abe was wuss scared thanever when he found he had the man in his arms. He wuz afeared 2 hold on& still more afeared 2 let go. He heard them hollerin, & thought he had2 do jest as they said, & begun edgin toward the river.
The man got more scared than Abe. He began kickin & wrigglin & hollerin:
"Don't let him do it. Help me. I can't swim a lick."
At this the men hollered worsen ever:
"Throw him in the river! Duck him! Baptize him! Drown him!"
I'm a Baptist, but I don't believe in immersion onless the convert hasbin prepared for it, & is willin, which neither this man wuz. I steppedforward 2 make Abe let him down, but before T could do anything Abehad got 2 the edge of the wharfboat & let go, & plunk went the man intoabout 10 foot ov water. Abe, scared now nearly 2 death, stood there withhis ize biggern sassers & whitern goose-eggs.
In a minnit the man cum up, sputterin & hollerin. A big Sergeant, withhis left arm in a sling, reached over & ketchod him by the collar & heldhis head above water.
"If I pull you out will you promis 2 go out ov the niggor-kotchinbizniss forever?" axed the Sergeant.
"Pull me out & then I'll talk 2 you," says the man grabbin for theslippery sides ov the wharfboat.{91}
"No, I won't," said the Sergeant, sousin him under water agin.
"Yes, yes, I'll promise," says the man, when he come up agin.
"Will you swear it?" axed the Sergeant.
"Yes, I'll swear it before a Justice ov the Peace."
"Will you swear 2 support the Constitution ov the United States agin allenemies & opposers whatsumever, & vote for Abraham Lincoln every time?"axed the Sergeant.
"I'll take the oath ov allegiance," says the man, sputterin the waterout ov his mouth, "but I'll never vote for that Abolition ape as long asI live."
"Then down you go," says the Sergeant, sousin him again.
"Yes, yes, I'll vote for Abe Lincoln, & anybody else, if you'll onlypull me out," said the man, in a tired tone of voice, when he cum upagin. I begin 2 see that immersion had a great deal ov good in it, evenif a man isn't prepared & willin.
"Will you swear 2 always love a nigger as a man & a brother, until deathdo you part, & aid & comfort all them who are tryin 2 git away fromslavery?" axed the Sergeant.
"Damned if I will," says the man. "No nigger kin ever be a brother 2 me.I'll die first."
"Then you'll die right now," says the Sergeant, sendin him down as faras his long arm would reach & holding him there until I wuz scared forfear he wuz really goin 2 drown the man. When he brung him up the manwhimpered:
"Yes, only pull me out--save my life--& I'll do anything you want."{92}
By this time the ferryboat had cum up. We got aboard & crost over toInjianny, & I felt so glad at bein on my nativ soil wuns more that Itook Abe up 2 the eatin stand, & blowed in a dollar filin up the vacantplasis in his hide.
When we tried 2 git on the train there cum another trubble: Theconductor woulddent let him ride in the car with white folks--not evenin the smokin-car. He made him go into the baggage-car. Abe wuz soscared about leavin me for a minnit in' that strange country that Itried 2 go into the baggage-car with him, but the conductor woulddentlet me. He said it wuz agin the rules for passengers to ride in thebaggage-cars, but Abe could go in there, same as dogs, prize poultry, &household pets. I tried 2 joke with him, tellin him that in sum plasisI wuz considered a household pet, but he said Ide have 2 git another mugon me before he could believe it.
One of Zeke Biltner's hogs ditched the train jest before we got home, &turned the baggage-car over. Sum crates ov aigs wuz smashed over AbrahamLincoln, & he wuz a sight to behold. He wuz awfully scared, though, &begged me 2 let him go the rest ov the way on foot. He said he wuza thousand years older than when he left his ole massa, & I couldunderstand what he meant.
I found your mother & the girls bright & chipper & jest tickled 2 deathto see me safe back. They axed me so many questions about you & Shortythat my head buzzed like a bee-hive. It is hard 2 git away from them2 tend 2 my Spring work, but I've made an arrangement 2 giv em an hourmornin{93} & evenin 2 answerin questions. I think this will keep mepurty busy till the snow flise agin.
Wheat is lookin surprisinly well, though I found sum bare plasis in thenorth field. I think we'll have a fair crop ov apples and peaches. Yourcolt is growin up the purtiest thing that ever went on four legs, &jumped an eight-rail fence. My hogs wintered in good shape, & pork isrisin. They have the measles over on the Crick, & school's broke up.Bill Scripp's out agin for Sheriff, & I spose I'le have 2 turn 2 agin &beat him. Singler, that he'll never know when he's got enuff.
If anything, Abraham Lincoln's appetite has bin improved by Wabash air.I wuzzent goin 2 have the wimmen folks wear theirselves out cookin forhim. So I fix-ed up a place for him in the old log house, & took himover some sides ov meat, a few bushel ov pertaters, a jug ov sorghummolasses, & every time mother bakes she sends over some leaves ov bread.I jest turned him loose there. He seems 2 be very happy, & we hear himsingin & yellin most all the time when he's by hisself. He's a goodworker when I stand right over him, & he'll lift & dig as patient as anox. But he hain't no more sense about goin ahead by hisself than a steerhas, & the moment my back's turned he stops work. Ime af eared I've gota job on my hands makin a firstclass farmer out ov him. But if that's myshare ov the work that Providens has chalked out for me, there's nothinleft for me but 2 go ahead & do it in fear & tremblin.
No more from your affeckshionate father.
P. S. Give my best respects 2 Shorty.
