by Jade Winters
‘Bloody hell, Dad,’ Amber said with a grin, knowing that her dad was bang on the nail with his assertions, ‘what’s got into you, getting all philosophical on me?’
I’m just saying that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do, to get what you want.’
He raised his eyebrows at Amber.
‘Why are you really worried about it?’
‘I don’t know. I’ll have nothing in common with the people there. I never have. I doubt any of them turned out to be gay—’
‘And so what? Just think about it. Would you sooner be working in New York, doing something you love doing, and meeting loads of interesting creative people, or living in town in a posh house wiping up after your kids and trying to keep up with the Jones’s?’
Amber thought about it for a moment or two. ‘I suppose New York.’
‘And don’t you think half the women who’ll be at this reunion would swap their lives here in this village for yours in a heartbeat, gay or not?’
‘I don’t know, maybe some.’ Amber took in a deep breath. ‘I just don’t know whether I want to spend time with people who basically ignored me every day. I’m going to call Sophie and tell her I’m not going.’
Joseph shrugged and returned to his prone position on the sofa. ‘It’s up to you. Your life. You’ve got to lead it the way you want to. It does seem a shame though. I think you’d probably gain a lot from going.’
‘Sorry, Dad. I really don’t want to.’
Amber turned back to the table and looked at the array of makeup she had laid out in front of her, ready to go out, then shook her head, reached for her phone, and began tapping on the keypad.
A few seconds later, she hovered her finger over the send button, took a deep breath, then pressed. She watched the screen until a little beep emitted from the phone to say the message had been delivered. With that done, she put her phone back down on the table and leant back in the chair.
‘All done?’ Her dad’s voice made her jump which jolted the table and in turn made the mirror turn back upright.
‘Yeah. I should’ve caught Sophie before she sets off.’
‘Great.’
The silence between them grew as Amber regarded herself in the mirror. Bereft of her usual skilfully applied make up—the result of hours of YouTube tutorials from the day she arrived in New York until the day before she left—the visage facing her reminded her so much of the girl she was back at school, and which she suspected was only hidden a short distance under the veneer of the attractive and successful businessperson she wore back home in NYC.
Why did she feel so reticent about the reunion? She led a great life, she’d met a great many famous people, most of whom were lovely, she had a great apartment, ate out in posh restaurants with her lovely friends on a regular basis, yet none of that filled the basic need building inside of her in the last few years.
She needed someone to love, and who loved her. That basic, human desire to be with someone. Sophie.
Everything else seemed to pale into nothing when the great hand of loneliness overshadowed her every day.
And that was why she didn’t want to go. Yes, she could show off and name drop, and yes she knew she would look like a million dollars in her smart New York couture, but life was so much more than that, and without that special person in her life, she just felt empty.
‘Amber, love, could you make me a cup of coffee?’
Amber smiled. While she’d been up in her tiny childhood bedroom, she’d heard him rattling around in the kitchen, so he was perfectly capable of doing it himself.
She turned in her chair to find him looking at her with puppy dog eyes.
‘Please? Your mum did say I shouldn’t overexert myself.’
‘Go on then,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Pass me your cup.’
Joseph leant across to the coffee table, grabbed his mug by its handle, and held it out to her.
She picked it out of his hand as she went past on her way to the kitchen.
‘Two sugars please.’
‘Ha,’ Amber said as she headed away from him. ‘What happened to keto? And you know the doctor said to cut down on sugar. No sugar or a sweetener. Your choice.’
‘Can’t a man have his coffee the way he likes it in his own home anymore? You’re worse than your mother, you know?’
‘I know,’ Amber said, poking her head around the door. ‘So, what’s it to be?’
Joseph hesitated. ‘Neither. I can’t stand those bloody sweeteners.’
Amber spooned in coffee granules and waited for the kettle to boil, checking her phone for a reply from Sophie.
Nothing.
As she tipped up the freshly boiled kettle, plumes of steam rose to the ceiling and she nearly spilt water all over her mother’s pristine, sparklingly lemon fresh floor when the front doorbell rang.
‘Door,’ Joseph yelled from the living room.
‘Can’t you get it? I’m making your drink.’
‘Sorry, love. Mother’s orders.’
She quickly slopped some milk into the mug, then carried it through, depositing it on a coaster in front of her dad.
The doorbell went again, and she dashed through into the hallway and wrenched open the door for fear of another ear bashing.
‘Hi.’ Sophie stood on the step looking like a billion dollars never mind a million. She wore a black sheath dress that clung to her sensuously curved hips and highlighted her chest to perfection, particularly the deep V-cut to the front which displayed her cleavage like a hidden valley just waiting to be explored.
Oh my God, she looks hot.
‘Sophie?’
‘That would be me. Why d’you look so surprised to see me?’
Chapter Eleven
Sophie couldn’t believe her eyes.
There she was, dressed in her LBD, the new one she’d just bought that day without trying it on.
There was Amber, holding the door open whilst wearing a purple fluffy dressing gown, a white headband to hold her hair out of her face, and without a scrap of makeup on. Sophie’s mind flashed back to the first time she really paid any attention to the quiet, plain girl who had sat next to her in sixth form all those years ago. She looked just like she did back then as they stood gawping at each other.
‘I sent you a message,’ Amber said as Sophie tried to edge her way inside, having to resort to ducking under the arm Amber was holding the door open with.
‘Did you?’ Sophie said, finally being able to stand upright in the hallway.
‘I did. Didn’t it arrive?’
Sophie dug around in her bag for her phone. It didn’t take long. Her choice for the evening had been a black clutch bag big enough to fit her phone.
When she pulled it out, sure enough there was a message. She brought it up and read its terse words aloud.
‘Sorry, Sophie. Not going tonight. Something came up.’ Sophie read the message again, then looked up at Amber.
‘What! You’re not coming?’
‘Shh,’ Amber said, sliding around Sophie then pulling the door to the living room closed. ‘My dad’s in there.’
Sophie lowered her voice slightly. ‘So, what is it then? Why aren’t you coming?’
‘It’s… errm… it’s… errm.’
‘You’ve chickened out, haven’t you?’ Sophie said, crossing her arms across her chest. ‘I knew it was too good to be true.’
‘No. I had every intention of going but… errm something came up—’
‘A work thing?’ Sophie offered with arched eyebrows.
‘Yes,’ Amber said quickly, ‘that’s it. A work thing came up.’
‘Despite it being, what,’ Sophie tapped a couple of times on her phone then turned it around to show Amber, ‘like two in the morning?’
‘Afternoon.’ Amber looked at the phone intently, avoiding Sophie’s eyes.
‘Huh?’
‘It’s two in the afternoon in New York. They’re five hours behind us.’
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Sophie could sniff out BS a mile away, but that mistake had put her on the back foot. She needed to find out what had really made Amber back out of the deal.
‘So, what was it, this business thing?’
‘A call.’
‘A call?’ Sophie lifted just one eyebrow questioningly.
‘Yes.’
‘What kind of call?’
‘Errm… a conference call. In ten minutes time so…’ Amber let the word drag out while maintaining a poker face.
‘Who with?’
‘What?’
‘Who’s this conference call with? A client?’
‘Yes. A client. Very important client. Very important.’ Amber offered up a smile of victory.
‘Bullshit, Amber!’ Sophie could tell a mile off that she was lying, and she wasn’t about to let her get away with it. If she’d changed her mind that was her prerogative but there was no need to lie.
‘Pardon?’
‘I said you’re bullshitting. You’re going to do a conference call with a client, a very important client, dressed like that,’ Sophie pointed at Amber’s purple dressing gown, ‘and looking like that,’ she pointed at her pallid face, ‘and with that on your head?’ She moved her finger up to point at Amber’s headband.
Amber moved her own hand up to touch the headband.
‘Pull the other one. Come on, what’s going on really?’ Sophie injected a sympathetic tone in the hope that she could pull things around. Octopus Pete beckoned otherwise.
Amber remained silent for a few moments, dropping her eyes to gaze the ground. Then she looked back up and Sophie thought she could see tears gathering.
‘I’m sorry, Sophie. I just can’t go.’
‘Well, I gathered that. Why? I thought we’d been over this the other night?’
‘I changed my mind.’
‘Yes but why?’ Sophie allowed a hint of desperation into her voice. If Amber wasn’t going, then she wasn’t either, but she wanted to go now. She had spent the past few days anxiously waiting so she could spend a few precious hours with Amber. Not in the hope that something would happen between them. She respected that Amber was in a relationship and there was no way on earth that she would cross such a delicate boundary. After pondering over the situation, Sophie had come to terms with the fact that they’d never pick up from where things ended years ago.
That was in the past and she accepted it. Amber was going to be married, which in Sophie’s mind meant she was happy with the guy she’d chosen to spend the rest of her life with. And despite how she felt about her, Sophie was truly happy for Amber. Maybe not for herself. For some reason, she felt heartbroken but realised it was probably her emotions working overtime. She’d recently broken up with Alison and didn’t know whether she was coming or going. It wasn’t unusual to want to grab a hold of something to take her mind of her crappy love life.
‘I’m allowed to change my mind, Sophie.’ Sophie noted the hint of annoyance in Amber’s voice. ‘Look, it’s my dad, he’s not doing great…’
Amber turned at the sound of the living room door opening behind her. Sophie peered over Amber’s shoulder.
‘I’m just nipping out for my fifteen-minute walk. Doctor’s orders and all that,’ Joseph said smiling at Sophie. ‘Hi. I’m Amber’s dad. See if you can persuade her to go. She won’t listen to me. Nice meeting you.’
With a wave he headed down the hallway and disappeared through a doorway.
Sophie coughed slightly after they had stood in silence for a moment. ‘Yeah, your dad looks awful.’
Amber’s shoulders shook. From where she was standing Sophie couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.
‘Are you okay?’
Amber turned back to face Sophie, no tears, just a smile.
‘Yeah. I always was a crap liar. Come on through and I’ll start to get ready.’
Sophie’s face lit up. ‘You’ll come?’
‘Yeah. You haven’t left me any choice now. Give me fifteen minutes. There’s wine in the fridge—’
‘No, it’s okay. I remember what you said about it last time. Plus…’ she rattled her keys, ‘I’m driving.’
‘Oh, I assumed we were Ubering or getting a cab.’
‘No, I hired a car for a few days.’
‘Okay, well, won’t be long.’
Twenty-five minutes later, they were in the car, heading off to the venue. Sophie couldn’t help but sneak a sideways glance at the totally different looking Amber sitting beside her.
The difference was amazing, and Sophie could feel the pangs of attraction growing inside her core.
She is so hot.
***
Inside the venue, a swanky country hotel on the edge of the town, people Sophie hadn’t seen for a long time milled around, drinks in hand, chatting to one another in small groups but mostly looking uncomfortable and ill at ease. She remembered back in the day how easily she had made friends and acquaintances. People were drawn to her easy-going attitude.
That all seemed to have changed. She’d chatted to a couple of people she vaguely remembered and had managed to avoid the determined efforts of Octopus Pete to engage her in conversation, but people didn’t seem to flock to her like they had back then.
Am I giving off a ‘leave me alone’ vibe?
It wouldn’t have surprised her if she was. After all, she was only there because of the letter she’d written to Alison and the desire not to face up to the consequences. Being left alone was what she wanted.
It was a different story for Amber though. Right then, she was surrounded by half a dozen people, oddly mostly the same people who used to flock to Sophie’s side back in the day.
Sophie was enjoying watching Amber schmoozing. She’d clearly had plenty of practice in these kinds of social situations since she went off to New York. She was animated, chatty, and held the adoring crowd’s attention while she talked. Sophie was surprised none of them swooned at her feet and was sure at least one of them, one of the quieter ones at the back of the mob, had tried to reach out and touch Amber’s sleeve such was her miraculous goddess-like transformation.
Sophie didn’t begrudge Amber the attention one little bit. In fact, she was pleased with the outcome. Maybe now, when Amber thought about school days, they wouldn’t be the bleak memories she held onto all those years.
Would Amber’s teenage years have been different if Sophie hadn’t been forced to move? she wondered. Maybe Sophie would have eventually come out as being gay and accepted how she felt about Amber, instead of running away. She couldn’t help but wonder even if they had got together whether it would have stood the test of time. After all, they were only teenagers. And what of Amber’s sexuality? She was obviously straight now while Sophie had no doubt where her sexuality lay. She was a hundred percent gay. Maybe it was a blessing they didn’t hit it off. She would probably have got her heart broken when Amber realised she wasn’t into girls after all.
Amber’s revelation about a fiancé back in New York had been a surprise to say the least, but she had seen the look in Amber’s eyes when she’d opened the door earlier that evening to find Sophie standing there. Unless she was completely out of her mind, Sophie could have sworn she saw a hint of attraction.
Maybe she’s bisexual. But why not just come out and admit it? It was 2020, where anything went. It wasn’t as if Sophie was going to shame her because of her sexual orientation.
By the time Sophie got herself a drink and returned to her spot, Amber had disappeared. Sophie looked round the room frantically hoping Amber hadn’t done a runner, when she caught sight of her exiting the door that led into the garden.
Making her way through the crowd, Sophie found Amber sitting on a wall, head back, looking up at the stars. Sophie sat down beside her and gave her a gentle nudge.
‘How does it feel to be the centre of attention?’
Amber turned her head to look at her. ‘Crazy. Anyone would think I was the most popular girl at school, the way
they’re all carrying on.’
‘People have selective memories.’
‘Yeah, they do.’
‘So, what’re you doing out here?’
‘I needed some space. It’s been bloody relentless since I got here. Everybody saying how different I am, and how I look so well, and have I had babies yet grr.’
Amber growled the last word.
‘I know, it’s tough to be popular,’ Sophie said the words, remembering how she’d always tried to stay onside with every clique and group at school. It had been exhausting and Sophie was almost glad when she found out she was moving away.
‘I wish things had been different for you,’ Sophie said after a moment’s silence. ‘Between us…’
Their eyes locked together, and Sophie felt a thrill run through her at the intensity with which Amber looked at her.
There it was again. That subtle message in her eyes and face.
Without thinking about it, Sophie leant in and kissed Amber gently on the lips. They were warm, soft and yielding, just as she remembered them from their first kiss, but as Sophie slid her tongue between Amber’s lips, Amber pulled away.
‘No. I can’t, Sophie. I just can’t.’ With that, Amber hopped off the wall and hurried back inside.
Sophie sat still for a moment, shaking her head.
What the hell did I do that for? Jesus Christ, she’s engaged and I’m trying to hit on her. Nice one!
Sophie stood up and headed back inside, determined to make amends for her thoughtless, impulsive action, but once inside the hall, Amber was nowhere to be found.
It took Sophie several minutes before she realised with a heavy heart that Amber had left.
Chapter Twelve
