Openly acknowledging that he had once misunderstood Borodasundari, Haranbabu apologized very generously. Ultimately, Poreshbabu was sent for.
‘Just look at this!’ said Borodasundari, flinging the letter down on the table before him.
‘So, what’s wrong?’ asked Poreshbabu after reading the letter two or three times.
‘What’s wrong!’ exclaimed Borodasundari, outraged. ‘What more do you want! Could there be worse to come? Idol worship, caste discrimination, everything has happened already; now it only remains for your daughter to be married off to a Hindu family. After that, you will perform penance and join the Hindu fraternity. But let me tell you …’
‘You need tell me nothing,’ Poreshbabu interrupted with a faint smile. ‘At least, not yet. The question is, why have all of you concluded that Lalita’s marriage into a Hindu family is already fixed? I see no hint of that in this letter, after all.’
‘I have still not understood what might make you see anything clearly,’ Borodasundari retorted. ‘If you had seen things in time, the present calamity would not have occurred. Tell me, can a letter state things more plainly than this?’
‘I think we should show this letter to Lalita and ask her what she intends. If you permit, I could ask her myself.’
At this moment, Lalita stormed in.
‘Look, Baba,’ she cried, ‘we’re receiving anonymous letters of this kind from the Brahmo Samaj these days!’
Poresh read the letter. Assuming that Binoy’s marriage to Lalita had been secretly fixed, the writer had filled the letter with diverse reprimands and suggestions, along with assertions that Binoy’s intentions were suspect, and that he would soon abandon his Brahmo wife to marry again into a Hindu family. After Poresh had finished with the letter, Haran read it through and said:
‘Lalita, does this letter make you angry? But aren’t you yourself not the cause for such letters to be written? Tell me, how could you write this letter in your very own hand!’
For a moment Lalita stood stock-still. ‘So, have you been corresponding with Shaila on this subject!’ she demanded.
‘Bearing in mind her duty towards the Brahmo Samaj, Shaila felt obliged to return this letter of yours,’ responded Haran, without answering her directly.
‘Please tell me what the Brahmo Samaj would like to say now,’ said Lalita, bracing herself.
‘I can’t bring myself to believe these current rumours about you and Binoybabu,’ declared Haran, ‘but still, I want to hear you clearly repudiate them yourself.’
Lalita’s eyes began to blaze. Gripping a chair-back with trembling hands she asked:
‘Why, can’t you believe the rumours at all?’
‘Lalita, your mind is not balanced now,’ warned Poresh, patting her back. ‘You and I can discuss this matter later. Let it be for now.’
‘Poreshbabu, don’t try to suppress the matter,’ Haran interrupted.
‘Would Baba try to suppress the matter!’ Lalita erupted in fury, once again. ‘Unlike the rest of you, Baba does not fear the truth. He places truth above even the Brahmo Samaj. I tell you, I don’t consider my marriage to Binoybabu either impossible or sinful.’
‘But is he to adopt the Brahmo faith?’ Haranbabu demanded.
‘Nothing is decided, and who says it is compulsory to adopt the faith?’ Lalita retorted.
So far, Borodasudari had said nothing. Secretly she wanted Haranbabu to triumph on this occasion, and Poreshbabu to feel guilty and repentant. She could contain herself no longer.
‘Lalita, have you lost your mind!’ she blurted out. ‘What are you saying!’
‘No Ma, these are not the ravings of a lunatic. I speak after much consideration. I cannot bear to be confined like this. I shall break free of this Samaj of Haranbabu’s.’
‘Do you mistake waywardness for freedom?’ Haranbabu asked.
‘No,’ replied Lalita. ‘Liberation from assaults of baseness and enslavement to falsehood—that’s what I mean by freedom. Where I see no wrong, no breach of faith, why should the Brahmo Samaj hold me, or try to restrain me?’
‘Poreshbabu, see for yourself!’ declared Haran ostentatiously. ‘I knew a calamity like this was inevitable. I have tried my best to warn you all, but to no avail.’
‘Look here Panubabu,’ retorted Lalita, ‘we have reason to warn you as well. You should not be arrogant enough to caution those who are your superiors in every respect.’ With these words she left the room.
‘What a mess!’ cried Borodasundari. ‘Please think, what is to be done now?’
‘It is duty that we must observe,’ Poreshbabu answered. ‘But we cannot identify our duty amidst such confusion. You must excuse me. Please don’t discuss this matter with me now. I want to be left alone for a while.’
~48~
What a mess Lalita had created! Sucharita thought. After a short silence, she put her arm around Lalita’s neck.
‘I must say, bhai, that I feel afraid.’
‘What are you afraid of?’ Lalita demanded.
‘The entire Brahmo Samaj is in turmoil, indeed, but what if Binoybabu turns down our request in the end?’
‘He is sure to agree,’ Lalita insisted, her head bent low.
‘As you know, Panubabu has assured Ma that Binoy would never abandon his community to accept this marriage. Lalita, why did you speak of it to Panubabu without pausing to consider everything!’
‘I still don’t regret what I said,’ Lalita asserted. ‘Panubabu imagined that he and his Samaj had pursued me like a hunted animal to the edge of the bottomless ocean, where I must surrender. He doesn’t realize I’m not afraid to plunge into this ocean; I fear being hounded into his cage by his pack of hunting dogs.’
‘Let’s consult Baba once,’ Sucharita proposed.
‘Baba will never join a hunting party, I can assure you. He had never wanted to shackle us, after all. If we have ever disagreed with his views, has he ever expressed the slightest annoyance? Has he tried to silence us by hounding us in the Brahmo Samaj’s name? This has annoyed Ma so often, but Baba only feared we might lose the courage to think for ourselves. Having reared us like this, would he ultimately hand me over to a man like Panubabu, who acts as the community’s prison warder?’
‘Very well, presuming Baba poses no obstacle, what should we do next?’
‘If you people don’t do anything, I shall myself …’
‘No, no,’ cried Sucharita in agitation, ‘you need not do anything, bhai! I’ll find a way.’
Sucharita was preparing to approach Poreshbabu when he came to her himself that evening. Every evening at this hour, Poreshbabu would pace up and down in his garden, head bent low, lost in thought. It was as if he would slowly remove all the scars of the day’s work by stroking his heart with the pure darkness of that evening hour, and prepare himself for the night’s rest by filling his inner soul with pure tranquility. But tonight, having sacrificed the pleasant tranquillity of that solitary evening meditation, when Poreshbabu came to Sucharita’s room with a worried expression on his face, her affectionate heart was moved, like a mother’s heart when her usually playful infant falls ill and lies motionless.
‘Radhé,’ said Poreshbabu, ‘you have heard everything, haven’t you?’
‘Yes, Baba, I have heard everything, but why are you so anxious?’
‘I am not anxious about anything, save Lalita’s capacity to bear the whole impact of the storm she has raised. Sometimes in the heat of excitement we are driven to blind daring, but when we begin to gradually experience the fruits of such daring, we lose the strength to bear them. Has Lalita carefully weighed all the consequences before determining what is best for herself?’
‘I can say with emphasis that no form of social pressure can ever defeat Lalita,’ Sucharita declared.
‘I want to be completely sure that Lalita is not merely expressing rebellious defiance in a fit of rage.’
‘No, Baba,’ replied Sucharita, lowering her head, ‘if that were so I would have paid no attention to her words. This sudden blow has exposed what lay concealed deep within her heart. If we now try to suppress the matter somehow, it would not be good for a girl like Lalita. Baba, Binoybabu is a wonderful person, after all.’
‘Tell me,’ asked Poreshbabu, ‘would Binoy agree to enter the Brahmo Samaj?’
‘I couldn’t say for sure. Baba, should I go to Gourbabu’s mother once?’
‘I was also thinking that it might be a good idea for you to see her.’
~49~
From Anandamoyi’s house, Binoy would drop by at his own home once, every morning. That day, he found a letter waiting for him. It bore no signature. It was full of lengthy advice, asserting that marriage to Lalita could never be a happy prospect for Binoy, and that it would prove inauspicious for Lalita. In conclusion it said that if Binoy still did not desist from marrying Lalita, then he must bear in mind that Lalita’s lungs were weak, due to suspected tuberculosis.
Binoy was dumbfounded at receiving such a letter. He had never imagined that such things could even be conjured up as falsehoods. For nobody was unaware that Lalita’s marriage to Binoy could never take place against the Samaj’s wishes. Indeed, that was why he had always considered his weakness for Lalita a crime. But for such a letter to have reached him, the matter had doubtless been widely discussed within the Samaj. He was deeply agitated to imagine the humiliation Lalita must have suffered at the hands of her community members. He felt extremely ashamed and embarrassed that rumours had publicly linked his name with Lalita’s. He was haunted by the feeling that Lalita was cursing and repudiating the fact that she knew him. He felt she could never again tolerate the sight of him.
But alas for the human heart! Even amidst this extreme feeling of rejection, a secret, profound, subtle, intense joy shot through Binoy’s heart; it was unstoppable, denying all shame, all humiliation. To avoid encouraging that sensation in the least, he began to pace swiftly up and down his veranda, but the morning light sent a heady feeling through his heart. Even the hawker’s call from the street aroused a deep restlessness in him. It was as if the tide of public slander had swept Lalita away and deposited her on the shore of Binoy’s heart. He could no longer resist this image of Lalita having floated up to him, away from the social realm. ‘Lalita is mine, mine alone!’ his heart kept repeating. Never before had his heart dared to declare this so forcefully. But now that these words echoed so suddenly in the outer world, Binoy could no longer hush his own heart.
As he restlessly paced up and down the veranda, Binoy saw Haranbabu coming down the street. He realized at once that Haranbabu was coming to meet him, and became certain that there must be a major upheaval underlying that anonymous letter. Binoy did not display his natural loquaciousness as on other occasions. Offering Haranbabu a chowki, he silently waited for him to speak.
‘Binoybabu, you’re a Hindu, are you not?’
‘Yes, indeed I am.’
‘Please don’t be offended at my question. Very often we act blindly without considering the situation around us, and that becomes a cause of misery. In such circumstances, should someone ask who we are, what are our limits, how far-reaching the consequences of our actions might be, however unpleasant this might seem, you should consider such a person your friend.’
‘No need for such long preambles,’ responded Binoy, trying to summon up a smile. ‘It is not in my nature to react violently in any way out of anger at an unpleasant query. You may safely ask me all sorts of questions.’
‘I don’t want to accuse you of any deliberate offence. But needless to say, even errors of judgement may have poisonous effects.’
‘You could avoid stating the needless,’ answered Binoy, inwardly irritated. ‘Please come to the point.’
‘Since you belong to the Hindu community and since leaving the community is also impossible for you, should you frequent Poreshbabu’s household in a way that may encourage rumours in the Samaj concerning his daughters?’
‘Look Panubabu, how a community may construe certain facts depends largely on the nature of its members; I cannot take full responsibility for it. If even Poreshbabu’s daughters can become targets of gossip within your community, that’s a matter of shame for your community rather than for their family.’
‘If an unwed girl is encouraged to leave her mother’s side to travel in the same boat with a man outside her family, which community could be denied the right to criticize her, I ask you?’ Haranbabu demanded.
‘If you people also equate external events with internal sins, then why leave the Hindu community to join the Brahmo Samaj? Anyway Panubabu, I see no need to argue about all this. After due consideration I shall determine my appropriate course of action; you can be of no help to me in that regard.’
‘I don’t have much to say to you,’ declared Haranbabu, ‘but my last word to you is, you must now keep your distance. It would be very wrong of you to do otherwise. You people have only stirred up trouble by invading Poreshbabu’s household; you have no idea how much harm you have done to their family.’
After Haranbabu had departed, Binoy’s heart was pierced by a shaft of pain. Straightforward and open minded, how warmly Poreshbabu had welcomed the two of them into his home! Perhaps, unknowingly, Binoy had constantly overstepped the bounds of his rights within this Brahmo family, but still, he had never been denied Poreshbabu’s affection and respect for a day. In this family, Binoy’s nature had gained a safe haven such as he had not found anywhere else, as if, having got to know them, he had discovered a special aspect of his own identity. And here in this household, where he had received such care, such joy, such a sense of refuge, to think that Binoy’s memory would forever prick like a painful thorn! For him to have cast the shadow of indignity over Poreshbabu’s daughters! That he should have tainted Lalita’s entire future in this way! How could he compensate! Alas, alas! What an immense contradiction this thing called community had generated within the domain of truth! There was no real obstacle against Lalita’s union with Binoy; the Lord alone, who lived within both their souls, knew Binoy’s readiness to surrender his whole life for Lalita’s happiness and well-being. It was He who had brought Binoy so close to Lalita through the attraction of love; His eternal spiritual law had proved no hindrance. Was it some other deity then, worshipped by the Brahmo Samaj, by people like Panubabu? Was this deity not the profoundest arbitrator of the human heart? If some law of prohibition stood between Lalita and Binoy, baring its fangs at them, if it obeyed only the dictates of society and not of the Lord of all humanity, then was such prohibition itself not sinful? But alas, perhaps this prohibition was powerful even in Lalita’s eyes! Besides, perhaps Lalita’s feelings for Binoy were not … So many doubts! How could they be resolved?
~50~
Exactly when Haranbabu arrived at Binoy’s house, Abinash had reported to Anandamoyi that Binoy’s marriage to Lalita was confirmed.
‘This can never be true,’ asserted Anandamoyi.
‘Why not?’ demanded Abinash. ‘Is Binoy incapable of it?’
‘That I cannot say, but Binoy would never conceal something so important from me.’
Abinash repeated that it was from members of the Brahmo Samaj that he had heard this news and that it was completely believable. He had long known that Binoy was bound to end up in such deplorable circumstances; in fact, he had warned Gora about it. Having apprised Anandamoyi of these facts, Abinash gleefully proceeded downstairs to tell Mahim the news. When Binoy came to her that day, Anandamoyi could tell from his expression that his heart was disturbed by a particular anguish. Having fed him, she called him into her own chamber.
‘Tell me Binoy, what is the matter with you?’ she asked.
When Anandamoyi had read the letter, Binoy told her: ‘This morning Panubabu came to my house. He rebuked me very sharply.’
‘Why?’
‘He says my conduct has aroused nasty rumours within their community about Poreshbabu’s daughters.’
‘People say your marriage to Lalita has been finalized. I see no cause for nasty rumours in that.’
‘If marriage were possible there would be no cause for slander. But where there is no such possibility, how unjust to spread such rumours! It is particularly cowardly to spread such slander about Lalita.’
‘If you have the slightest element of manliness in you Binu, you can easily shield Lalita from such cowardice.’
‘How, Ma!’ asked Binoy in astonishment.
‘How? By marrying Lalita of course!’
‘What’s this you say Ma! I wonder what you imagine your Binoy to be! You think Binoy just has to say once, “I shall marry,” and nobody in the world could contradict him—as if the whole world is awaiting a signal from me.’
‘I see no reason for you to worry about so many things. Suffice it for you to do the little bit that is in your power. You could say, “I’m willing to get married.”’
‘Wouldn’t it be humiliating for Lalita if I said something so improper?’
‘Why do you call it improper? If there are rumours linking the two of you, surely they have arisen because the idea is proper indeed. You have no cause for hesitation, I tell you.’
‘But Ma, we must think about Gora as well.’
‘No my dear child, this matter does not involve thinking about Gora at all,’ replied Anandamoyi firmly. ‘I know he will be angry. I don’t want him to be angry with you. But it can’t be helped! If you respect Lalita, you can’t let society cast a permanent slur upon her name.’
Gora Page 34
