At this moment she felt her mother’s spirit floating towards her father. Her mother’s aura was radiant and serene, not the crushed human body which Amy had left behind the wheel of the wrecked car. Her parents joined each other and came over to her. They spoke to her. Although no actual words were used, she understood everything. They told her how much they loved her. They said they were waiting for her, but that she must go back for a while. It is not time, her mother was saying to her. It was my time, Amy, but not yours. Not yet. Their great love for her was enveloping her, and she was not afraid; she was happy.
Marika, the old soul guiding her, explained that she must move on. Soon they were floating through the bright light once more, entering a crystal cave that shimmered and radiated an intense and most powerful light.
Amy was immediately aware that she was in the presence of two women, that they were ancient spirits of great wisdom, and that some of their wisdom was going to be imparted to her. She was told by Marika that she would understand it all, understand the universe, the meaning of everything.
The cave was beyond imagining, made entirely of crystal rock formations and giant stalactites which glittered in the white light, sent out hundreds of thousands of prisms of coloured light, ranging from pale yellow to pink and blue.
Amy was momentarily blinded by the clarity of light in the crystal cave, and she blinked several times.
A moment later she saw more clearly than she had ever seen before. She saw her past life, saw herself, and she understood at once why she had failed in her earthly life. It was because of her negative approach, her apathy; and she was made to understand that she had wasted much, had thrown away the special gifts she had been given. The two women spirits explained this, and Amy felt contrite and sorry.
Then she saw Jake. She saw him at this very moment in time, as if he were right here with her. But he was not. He was in a room somewhere, and he was with a woman, a woman he cared about. A woman he loved. Deeply loved. She recognized the fulfilment and warmth between them. Instantly Amy understood his life. She saw him in the past, in the present, in the future. His whole life was there for her to view, as if she were seeing it on film.
Now Marika was conveying something, saying that she must leave, must move on, but Amy did not want to go. She fought going. She wanted to stay here. Suddenly she was spinning out of the cave, pushed along by Marika.
Marika was urging her in a gentle way to go back to the tunnel. She did not want to and she fought it. She yearned to stay here in this paradise where there was only peace and happiness and unconditional love. But Marika would not permit it. She said she must return.
Amy was hurtling down the tunnel, moving through the darkness, leaving that shimmering dimension behind, leaving the light.
She felt a sudden push and there she was back on an earthly plane, floating again above her mother’s wrecked car with their bodies trapped within.
Amy saw the truck-driver and the other drivers and state troopers still hovering near the car. And then an ambulance slowed to a stop. She continued to watch as her mother was removed from the car, and then her own body was lifted out and put on a stretcher.
With a sudden, awful jolt Amy went back into her body.
Eventually she opened her eyes. And then she closed them again. She felt so tired, so exhausted. There was a pain in her head, a terrible pain as if someone had been hammering on her forehead. She fell into unconsciousness immediately.
Amy’s aunt, Violet Parkinson and her daughter Mavis rarely, if ever, left Amy’s side at the New Milford Hospital. Jake had to come and go because he had to attend to his business, had to work, but he was genuinely concerned about her, apprehensive about her reaction when she finally regained consciousness to learn that her mother had been killed in the terrible car crash.
Jake was also worried about Amy’s own injuries. She was badly cut and bruised, and whilst the doctors believed she had no internal injuries, she was in a coma.
Now, on the third evening after the accident, Jake sat by the bed in the hospital, holding Amy’s hand. They were alone for the time being. He had sent Mavis and Aunt Violet downstairs to have coffee and sandwiches, since they had apparently been sitting with Amy throughout the day.
His thoughts drifted for a while. He worked out some complicated wiring systems for Havers Hill in his head, and thought for a moment or two about Maggie, and then he looked up, startled, when Amy said: ‘I’m thirsty.’
Immediately bringing his attention to her, he exclaimed, ‘Amy, honey! Thank God! You’re awake!’
‘I’ve been in another place, Jake,’ she began in a whispery voice. ‘I want to tell you about it.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll say you have, Amy. Unconscious for three days. Did you say you were thirsty? Let me get you some water.’
‘Jake!’
‘Yes, Amy?’
‘My mother’s dead.’
He was so startled he gaped at her, and for a moment he was unable to say a word.
‘Don’t tell me she isn’t, trying to protect me, because I know she’s dead.’
Jake, who had stood up, now bent closer to her, gave her a puzzled look. ‘Let me go and fetch the water, and tell the doctor you’ve regained consciousness, honey.’
‘I died too, Jake, but I came back. That’s how I know my mother’s dead. I saw her spirit with my father’s spirit.’
Sitting down on the chair again, he asked gently, ‘Where, Amy?’
‘In Paradise, Jake. It’s such a beautiful place. Full of light. A place you’d like, you’ve always been fascinated by light.’
Jake was speechless. He simply sat there holding her hand, not knowing what to say, truly startled by her words.
Amy sighed lightly. ‘My mother’s safe there. And she’s happy now. She’s with my father. She always missed him, you know.’
‘Yes,’ he answered, still at a loss. He wondered whether it was the drugs talking. Certainly the doctors had given her a number of injections, although he was not sure what these were. She was so calm, so in control, and this was mind-boggling to him. He had known Amy most of his life, and he would never have expected her to act like this after her mother’s death. They had always been close, and why Amy wasn’t hysterical he would never know. Yes, perhaps it was the drugs talking when she had said, a moment ago, that she had just died herself but had come back.
As if reading his mind, Amy remarked quietly, ‘I did die, Jake. Believe me.’
He stared at her, a small frown knotting his brow.
Amy sighed. ‘I’m tired. I want to go to sleep.’
‘I’ll get the doctor, Amy.’ He extracted his hand from hers, and rose, moved to the door. ‘I’ll bring the nurse so that she can give you a drink of water.’
‘Thanks, Jake.’
He nodded and left the room.
‘It was the weirdest thing, Maggie,’ Jake said quietly, looking across at her intently. ‘When Amy finally came out of her coma tonight she told me her mother was dead. She wasn’t hysterical like I thought she would be, but calm. In control.’
Jake shook his head, took a swallow of his beer. ‘She also said something else that was strange.’ He hesitated.
‘What was that?’ Maggie asked.
‘She said her mother was with her father. In another place. A place she’d been to … she called it Paradise. I thought about her words all the way here from the hospital. How did Amy know her mother had died in the crash, Maggie? She’s been unconscious since it happened.’ He exhaled. ‘That’s what mystifies me.’
Maggie sat back in her chair and regarded him for a long moment, then she said, ‘Maybe Amy knew her mother had died because she did see her in another place, just as she claims.’
‘I’m not following you,’ he answered, giving her an odd look.
‘It’s possible that Amy had an NDE.’
‘What’s an NDE?’ Jake asked, lifting a brow.
‘Near-Death Experience. There’s been a lot written abou
t them in the last few years. Doctor Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the social scientist, who used to practise in Chicago, wrote an article on the terminally ill during her tenure at Billings Hospital at the University of Chicago. This eventually became the basis for her book, On Death and Dying, which I found fascinating. She wrote a number of other books, and appears to believe in Near-Death Experiences. As do many people actually, Jake. And doctors as well. Doctor Raymond Moody did the first anecdotal study of the phenomenon. Another expert is Doctor Melvin Morse who has also written several books about Near-Death Experiences.’
‘So you’re saying that Amy told me the truth?’
‘Very possibly … most probably, actually.’
‘How do you explain an NDE, Maggie?’
‘I don’t know, I don’t think I can … because I don’t really know enough, Jake,’ Maggie murmured. ‘There are a few good books available, as I just mentioned. Perhaps you should read one.’ Leaning forward slightly, pinning him with her eyes, Maggie went on, ‘Did Amy describe this place she went to?’
‘No. She just said it was very beautiful.’
‘Did she mention anything about light?’
‘Well, yes, she did. How did you know that?’
‘Because light, very bright light, always figures in Near-Death Experiences. People feel as if they are embraced by the light. Some even think they are transformed by it.’
‘Amy did say it was a place I’d like because it was full of light.’
‘Anything else?’
‘No, I don’t think so.’
‘And when exactly did she tell you this?’
‘The moment she woke up – when she first came out of the coma.’
‘Then perhaps she did have a Near-Death Experience. She certainly didn’t have enough time to invent such a thing, invent that kind of story. Anyway, deep unconsciousness, or coma, is supposed to wipe the slate clean, wipe the mind clean,’ Maggie pointed out.
‘Okay, so let’s say Amy did have an NDE, what exactly does that mean? To her?’
‘It’s an experience that she’s not likely to forget, for one thing. Apparently people who have them never do, the experience stays with them always, for the rest of their lives. Of course they are as baffled by them as everyone else, and they generally look for meanings, special meanings behind them. An NDE does make people change … that brush with death and a glimpse of the afterlife does have an effect.’
‘You seem to know a lot about Near-Death Experiences, Maggie,’ Jake murmured, eyeing her speculatively.
‘Well, I haven’t had one myself, but I have talked with several people who have. I did quite a lot of charity work when I lived in Chicago, and I worked at a hospice for terminally ill people several afternoons a week for over four years. That’s when I first heard about NDEs. People recounted their experiences to me, and the thing is, they drew such enormous comfort from them.’
‘So you do believe there is such a thing then?’
‘I guess so, Jake. I don’t disbelieve. I’m not that arrogant. One would be a fool to dismiss these things out of hand. How can anyone debunk Near-Death Experiences? Or life after death? Or even the idea of reincarnation, for instance? None of us knows anything. Not really. There are far too many unexplained things in this world. I’d be the last person to say that the paranormal doesn’t exist. Or couldn’t happen. I’ve got an open mind.’
‘Amy doesn’t read a lot,’ Jake volunteered. ‘So I’m sure she doesn’t know anything at all about Near-Death Experiences from books, Maggie.’
She nodded. ‘There has been quite a lot on television about them, over the past few years, but I’m quite positive Amy did have some sort of experience. I don’t think she’s inventing this, not for one moment.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘From what you’ve told me about her, Jake, Amy doesn’t have the imagination to invent such a thing.’
‘You’re correct there,’ he agreed. Jake leaned back in the chair, stifling a yawn.
Maggie exclaimed, ‘Oh Jake, you’re so tired after your vigil at the hospital. I think you’d better go to bed. You need your rest, you’ve got to be up so early tomorrow. We’ve got the meeting at the farm.’
He nodded. ‘I am pretty bushed. But thank God we’ve finally finished the last design plans for the farm. Lately they seem to have been endless.’
She laughed. ‘Only too true. But isn’t Havers Hill now looking perfectly wonderful?’
‘It sure is, thanks to you, Maggie of mine.’
CHAPTER
14
IT WAS A GOLDEN, shimmering October day. The foliage had already changed, and the trees were a mass of copper and gold, russet and pink, brilliant in the bright sunshine.
Amy feasted her eyes on the landscape at the back of Jake’s little house on Route 341, thinking how magnificent everything looked. Such breathtaking colours, such fire in the trees. And the sky was a perfect blue, without a single cloud. It was a mild day, mild enough for her to sit here without a jacket, which she had shed earlier when she and Jake were having lunch.
She rested her head against the chair and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. She felt relaxed, at peace.
Earlier in the week Jake had asked her what he could do to make her feel better, and she had said she wanted to have a picnic out in the country. It had been his idea to bring her here to his new house, and she was glad he had. It was nice to see where he lived, now that they were no longer together. Also, she liked his yard with its beautiful trees, pretty garden and the pastures beyond. He had even shown her around his studio-workshop in the red barn, which had pleased her.
Hearing his footsteps on the path, Amy opened her eyes and sat up.
Jake said, ‘Here we are, honey. Ice cream and apple pie, just as you requested.’
Amy smiled at him. ‘You’re spoiling me. And I’m enjoying every minute of it.’
He placed the tray on her lap. ‘Tea or coffee later?’
‘Tea, please, and thanks for this.’ She glanced down at the ice cream. ‘Oh Jake, you remembered how much I love pistachio and raspberry mixed together.’
Jake nodded and grinned, pleased that she was happy. She never complained, but he knew she was frequently in pain these days. If bringing her here and having a picnic with her helped to alleviate her suffering then he was all for it.
‘Be back in a minute, honey,’ he said, and strode down the path to the kitchen. ‘And don’t wait for me. I’m only having coffee.’
Amy ate some of the ice cream, enjoying it, but she couldn’t finish it all. Her appetite was poor, and she was only able to take a few bites of the apple pie. She leaned back in the chair again, waiting for Jake to return to the garden.
Strains of music suddenly filled the air and she smiled to herself, knowing that he had somehow managed to wire the garden and put speakers outside. Kiri Te Kanawa singing ‘Vissi d’arte’ filled the air, her magnificent voice soaring into the sky.
‘Where’s the music coming from, Jake?’ Amy asked when he was back, standing over her, offering her the cup of tea.
‘The singing rocks, just over there in the flower beds,’ he explained.
She laughed in delight and he laughed also. Then he said, ‘Don’t you want any more dessert, Amy?’
‘No, thanks, Jake, but what I ate was delicious.’
He took the plate away, and then sat down next to her with his mug of coffee. ‘I hope you’ve enjoyed the picnic, being out in the country,’ he murmured, glancing at her.
‘I have, and it was nice of you to give up your one free day. I know how precious Sundays are to you.’
‘I’ve enjoyed it too, Amy. You know I’ll do anything to help, to make you feel better.’
Turning slightly in the chair, Amy focused her eyes on him. She loved him very much. He was the only man she had ever loved … since she was twelve years old. He had always been so special to her; he had made her feel special. And he had been so kind. Al
ways. Amy had considered herself the luckiest of women to have him, to be his wife; her friends had envied her. But she knew they were focusing on his good looks. Only she really knew what a truly nice person he was.
Jake said, ‘You’re staring at me, Amy. What’s wrong? Do I have dirt on my face?’
She shook her head. ‘I was just thinking how long we’ve known each other.’ She paused, cleared her throat and then went on carefully, ‘Mavis took me to see the lawyer on Friday, Jake, and I – ’
‘But Amy, you don’t have to worry about the divorce right now. Just get yourself better first.’
‘I didn’t go to see him about the divorce. A divorce is not necessary.’
He sat looking at her, his expression unchanging. He was not sure how to answer her.
She said, ‘I’m dying, Jake. I’m not going to see the end of the year … I know that.’
‘But Amy, the doctor said you were making good progress!’ he cut in swiftly.
Amy shook her head. ‘He might think so, but I know I’m not. Anyway, I went to see the lawyer because I wanted to make a will. It’s necessary now that my mother’s dead. She left me her house in New Milford, you know, and her furniture and everything else she owned. And a little money. So, I made a will and I’ve left everything to you.’
Jake stared at her speechlessly. Then he said, ‘But what about Aunt Violet and Mavis? They’re your next of kin.’
‘No, they’re not. You are, Jake Cantrell. You’re my husband. We’re still married, even though we might not be living together. And as your wife I am leaving you all my worldly possessions. Except for a few items for Aunt Violet and Mavis, you know – some bits of my mother’s jewellery, china, that kind of thing. I want you to have everything else.’
‘I don’t know what to say,’ he began and stopped abruptly, staring at her.
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