“I don’t think so,” I said. “They just keep me balanced so that little beast doesn’t do something I’ll regret later.” I dropped my hands and the magic faded.
His gaze met mine and he frowned. “No wonder they took you from me,” he mumbled. “I can’t compete with that.”
I stood and closed the space between us but didn’t touch him. “It isn’t about competing,” I said. “I’m not human. Your partner should be a mage who can love you, give you a family, and help you rule, Kellen. I can’t be any of those things.”
“I can’t replace you.” He reached for my hand and I gave it to him.
“Like everything else in my life, I have no choice,” I said. “I’ll be here to defeat Jack and the crazy bunch of fools who decided to follow him, but a fae should not lead your mages.”
A harsh breath left his lips and he pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek on his chest. His heart hammered against his ribs and guilt washed over me. I hurt everyone around me without even trying.
Kellen cleared his throat and loosened his hold. “My emotional idiocy won’t accomplish anything,” he muttered. “Tell me what happened in Mexico.”
“Can we get something to eat?” I asked, squeezing him for a moment before letting go.
“Of course.”
I followed him out of the training room and down the hall to the kitchen. My favorite bar stool waited for me, but Logan wouldn’t be filling the one next to it. I wouldn’t get to be startled by his sudden appearance or see his smile when I yelled at him about it.
I choked on the swelling lump in my throat and hoisted myself onto the stool. Thinking about what I lost wouldn’t accomplish anything either. So I started retelling an abbreviated version of our fight with Ernesto while Kellen made sandwiches. He didn’t interrupt me until I got to the part about Jack’s timeline.
“Only a week,” he said, setting a plate in front of me with four ham sandwiches. “I’d hoped we would have more time.” He slid onto the stool next to me and picked up a sandwich.
“Braden is supposed to confirm the timing,” I said, grabbing my sandwich.
“Do you trust him?” Kellen asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” I took one bite, then another. I was starving. “He has a lot on the line right now,” I mumbled. Talking was impossible until I finished, so I devoured my sandwich and washed it down with a glass of water. I looked over at Kellen and blushed. “Thank you. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“Sure thing,” he said. “So, what else do we know?”
I hesitated. It wasn’t like I could keep it from him, but my suspicion about the location nagged at me. “If Ernesto told the truth, Jack is staging his army just south of Alexandria.”
“Alexandria, Virginia?” Kellen dropped his sandwich on the plate. “There are millions of people there.”
“No, in Egypt,” I corrected him. “He intends to attack Cairo.”
His mouth gaped open as he stared at me. I didn’t need a connection to him to see the same thoughts filtering through his mind.
“I need to call my cousin,” he said, digging his phone out of his pocket.
“He wouldn’t side with Jack, would he?” I asked, hating to doubt him, but also realizing the question needed to be voiced.
“No,” Kellen replied. “At least I don’t think so. He told me they convinced the Asian mages to join us. He was also in contact with the African group and hoped to have them on our side as well.”
I could hear the phone ringing and Zahur’s voicemail pick up.
“Hey, it’s Kellen. Call me.” He ended the call and looked at me. “How are we going to get everyone to Cairo? The mages can use the portals, but not the shifters or Jonathan’s group. Well, maybe some of the shifters could use this one.” He rubbed his chin, his eyes seeming to see past me.
“I have no idea, but maybe we should have a meeting with your council,” I replied. “Can we also get Victor and Jonathan here, with the others at least on the phone?”
“I’ll start coordinating everyone.” He slid from his seat and rested his hand on my shoulder. “Can you get to the palace?”
“Yes, but I’d really like to sleep first,” I answered. Right after I got my phone. I couldn’t believe I left all my stuff… in my new house.
“Good idea, but I moved your things to the palace,” he said.
“That’s fine,” I mumbled. “I’ll meet you there.”
His hand moved towards my ear and I caught it. “Please don’t touch them,” I whispered, gently pulling his fingers away. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, not that I could avoid it.
“I expected them to go away,” he said.
“Nope, they’re not going anywhere. I just haven’t figured out how to hide them yet,” I explained. “I’m not sure I’m even going to worry about it.”
“They’re cute.” He smiled and slipped his fingers away from mine. “I’ll come wake you when I know what time we’re meeting.”
I nodded and watched him leave. A heaviness pulled on my heart, and I tried to ignore it. Would I have anything left when this was over? Logan was gone. Kellen was no longer my partner. Could I stay with the mages? I wasn’t sure. Maybe if the queen let me live. If I stayed and ruled as the magister, would the queen try to claim the rule from me? Technically, I was one of hers.
The thought disturbed me once it settled in, and I couldn’t ignore it. No, I hadn’t even met the queen. Despite all the horrific things I’d heard about her, I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. There were always two sides to every story. But I didn’t want to risk the mages’ sovereignty.
So, no Logan, no Kellen, no mages, definitely no vampires. Maybe one vampire, but he might be imprisoned in a tree. Cedric? Could I have a father? Not likely. He’d bolted as soon as his task was done. Had he lied to me about needing me to find his peace? Sure seemed that way. Maybe the queen didn’t let him go. Could she trap her people within their kingdom? That was a horrible thought.
I envisioned my father’s rugged face and wide stature. The permanent furrow between his light brown eyebrows wrinkled even when he smiled.
Cedric?
I waited a few seconds, not even sure if I could connect with him from long distances. Seconds turned to minutes and I sighed. Apparently not.
Daughter?
The reply was so faint I barely heard it.
Cedric? Are you okay?
No, I’m not. Apparently, our queen was not satisfied with my results.
I could almost feel the pain in his fading voice.
What has she done to you? I asked.
I’m a permanent resident in the Forest of Tears.
When a vision of twisted trees filled my mind, all dripping blood from their intertwined branches, I gasped. There were hundreds of tortured souls.
How do I free you?
Dearest daughter. A harsh chuckle took away the vision. Only the tree’s creator can release the prisoner.
The queen?
Yes.
All thoughts of a just and kind queen left my mind. Anyone who could do that to a living being had no heart.
Where are you? I asked.
Never come here. The insistence in his voice stung. She will trap you in her kingdom the moment you enter it. Don’t give her the opportunity to do so.
I dropped my head on the marble countertop and squeezed back my tears. I didn’t like him, but no one deserved that torture.
Will I always be able to talk to you? I asked, hoping to keep something of him with me.
No. In a few days, my mind will be gone. I’m surprised I can hear you now.
Well, shit. There was still so much I needed to learn. And now that I couldn’t have a future with him, I regretted not trying harder to understand and forgive.
I’ll try to find a way to free you.
Don’t waste your time on me, daughter. I was never a father to you. Find your happiness and don’t let the queen take you. She can b
e very convincing.
Yeah, and I can be really stupid.
No, just naïve. His voice softened, and tears clouded my vision. I loved you as much as I could, but you deserved so much more.
Why do you wait until now to tell me, dammit? I yelled through our connection.
Now you know where you get your stupid from, he quipped.
I laughed and lifted my head, wiping my tears away.
You have a war to win. Show them what it means to be the half-breed chosen by the elementals.
I will, I promised, but I need you to tell me how to tie off that vine-trapping-thing without killing everyone.
Several words in the fae language drifted through my mind, and I cursed the simplicity. I really should’ve thought of that myself. I needed to find a book on the fae language.
Thank you for everything.
When his reply didn’t come, panic rushed through me.
Cedric! Dad?
Still no answer. “Damn you elementals!” I screamed, sliding off my stool and clinching my fists. “When I turn into a raging, uncontrollable monster, it’ll be your fault.”
I envisioned my balcony over the Pacific Ocean and willed myself to be there. I should’ve known better or at least taken three seconds to think about it before I jumped. I landed on the railing and flipped over it. My fingers scrabbled for the top rail but missed, barely catching the bottom one.
Another scream ripped from my throat as I looked down. Hundreds of feet of rocky cliff loomed beneath me. “Good job, moron,” I cursed.
The glass door slid open and I looked up. Gordon frowned at me, shielding his face from the late morning sun.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, reaching over the railing and grabbing my wrists.
“Hanging around,” I snapped. “What does it look like?”
“It looks like you’re trying to kill yourself,” he replied, pulling me into his arms and setting my feet on the deck.
“I’d be a splatter on the rocks below if that were the case.” I pushed away from him and straightened my shirt. “Thank you for showing up when you did, though. I hadn’t expected you to still be here.”
“We were just about to leave.” He motioned for me to go inside, but I didn’t. “Braden is waiting for me in the car.”
“I can’t see him,” I said, shaking my head.
“Then why are you here?”
“To get my phone.” I tried not to twist my fingers in the fabric of my shirt and ended up stuffing my hands in my pockets. “I need to be able to communicate with you guys.”
“What’s happened?”
“I can’t talk about it,” I replied. “And you don’t have time to listen. It’s personal, anyway.”
He eyed me for a moment then tilted his head towards the door. “Come inside. I have something for you.”
“What’s up with you two feeling like you have to give me stuff?”
I followed him into the large living room and closed the door. My purse was on the low table next to the sofa, along with another scarf, one I hadn’t seen. Gordon picked it up and held it out to me. Half of it was white and the other half a deep red.
“Our warriors will have one of these wrapped around their arm,” he said. “So you know who your allies are.”
I pulled the silk fabric from his fingers, my eyes not leaving his. “Thank you.”
“Unlike my boss, I won’t stop you from expressing your gratitude any way you wish,” he said.
A laugh escaped my lips at his flirty antics, knowing he meant none of it.
“My day is now complete,” he said, turning to the front door. “I’ve made the mage smile.”
I watched his retreating form, the dark dreadlocks trailing down his back. My father’s words resurfaced, and I thought of Braden. Did he know about the tree of death?
“Gordon,” I whispered. “Only the one who creates the tree can release its prisoner.”
He stopped, his hand on the doorknob, but he didn’t turn around. Had it been a normal person, I would’ve wondered if he heard me.
“What do I do?” I pleaded. “I can’t do that to him. Cedric said his mind will crumble within a few days, so I don’t even have time…` Oh no.” I clamped my hand over my mouth and sank onto the sofa. A dozen ‘what ifs’ running through my head.
If the queen showed up after the battle, would she imprison Braden or would she give him an opportunity to try to make me a vampire? Or had she found out that I could be turned and not even give him a chance?
My oath still loomed over us. I had only said, “after Jack’s defeat.” Did that mean Braden and I would have time to complete the oath or would we have to do it right there in the middle of the desert? I hoped not. There’s no way I could do it with an audience.
“Stop.” And there he was, standing over me with a severe frown. The elder vampire in the flesh. The one I didn’t want to see. “We make plans for a reason,” Braden continued, taking the seat next to me.
I tried hard not to be grateful for his presence.
“Is there a chance the queen knows I can be turned?” I asked, focusing on my hands.
“Who else knows besides you and your wind elemental?”
“Almost everyone who was there?” I replied. “Well, maybe that’s not true. The shifters definitely know, and I can’t imagine them keeping it from the mages. Their gossip mill runs wild.”
“Then we need to assume she knows,” he said. “What has your mind running a marathon?”
“Gordon didn’t tell you?” I asked, turning towards the front door. Said vampire was nowhere in sight.
“No, I came in to find out what was taking so long and found you.”
Lovely, I got to say it twice.
“Apparently, the queen wasn’t satisfied with Cedric’s part of their deal,” I mumbled. “She imprisoned him in one of those trees, and she’s the only one who can release him. Whoever creates the tree is the only one who can destroy it.” My whole body shivered with the memory of hundreds of trees. “Do you know where the Forest of Tears is?”
His sharp intake of breath forced me to look at him. I caught a glimpse of his fear before he stood and crossed the room. Rather than batter him with a ton of questions, I waited. It was obviously painful for him.
“It’s where they take those who cannot contain their darkness,” he replied after several minutes. “I’ve never been there. Everyone assumed the offender was executed.”
I looked down at the red and white scarf, twisting around my fingers on its own. Should I tell him I saw hundreds of trees? It wouldn’t help.
“Cedric said he only had a few days before his mind was gone,” I whispered.
“He spoke to you telepathically from his prison?”
I swallowed hard, determined not to cry. “Yes.”
“She’ll be at the battle,” he stated, his voice hardening.
“I thought the same,” I agreed, dragging my eyes from my scarf to him. “Which means I need to take you away as soon as we defeat Jack.”
The muscles on his back flexed with his clenched fists. “I cannot leave my people after Jack’s defeat.” He turned his blue eyes on me, his inner turmoil seeping through our bond.
“And if I imprison both you and Jack in this battle to prevent her from doing so, I become the enemy,” I said, giving voice to both our concerns.
“I’ll think of something before the end of the week. There has to be a way out of this that doesn’t end in our death.”
“If I think of something, can I text you?” I asked.
“Can I stop you?” A small smile graced his lips but only for a moment.
“Well, technically you could block my number,” I said.
“I suppose.”
I rose, then thought twice about it. Maybe I needed to be sitting when I tried to jump, then I wouldn’t fall all over the place. It couldn’t hurt to try.
“Kellen’s putting together a meeting,” I said, reaching for my purse and phone.
“I need to go.”
“You had no trouble getting here?” he asked, suddenly sitting next to me again.
“Not really,” I replied, not wanting to admit my stupidity and near fall from the balcony. I didn’t think Gordon would tell on me.
“But?”
“It’s nothing,” I waved a hand at him, which he caught. I should know better by now. “I’m here safe and sound. Now I need to go back.” I wrinkled my nose at the thought of going back. Kellen would expect me to sleep in his bed. I couldn’t for all kinds of reasons even if we didn’t have sex. Aviur was an ass and would no doubt torment me, and that awkward situation was the last thing Kellen and I needed.
I tugged at the hand Braden held, but he didn’t let go.
“I really need to go and so do you, Braden.”
“Enemies until this is over?” he asked.
“Reluctant allies,” I corrected. “You know… enemy of my enemy is now my friend.”
“Deal.” He kissed my hand and released it. I did everything I could to keep my mind blank and emotions neutral. He must have been doing the same, because I felt nothing from him.
“Deal.”
Chapter 19
Kellen’s brown sugar and cinnamon woke me after what felt like five minutes after my jump back to the palace. I moaned, pulling my favorite quilt up to my chin. The comfort of something familiar felt good.
“We’re meeting in the garden of my estate in half an hour,” Kellen said from the bedside.
“Mhmm. How long did I sleep?” I asked, without opening my eyes.
“Six hours,” he replied. “It took some of our allies that long to get to my estate.”
I peeled my eyes open and found him sitting in a chair next to the bed, with a glass of whiskey on the nightstand. How long had he been there? I wasn’t asking. Lines of worry creased his forehead and his hair looked like he’d pulled his fingers through it too many times.
“I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes,” I mumbled. He didn’t move and I sighed. “What is it?”
“I was hoping we could talk before we left.”
“And you want to do that while I’m still half asleep?” I asked.
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