“The thought of hurting you…” I stopped, not wanting to voice any of this. I needed to stay disconnected from him, but I couldn’t. His words from earlier drifted through my mind. He couldn’t stay away from me either. Was it our bond making us feel like we wanted each other? It had to be. Without the bond, I couldn’t imagine being with him.
He cleared his throat and lifted my chin with his finger. “You will take the blood you need,” he said. “I cannot leave you like this, especially when there is no food in the house.”
“My fangs are gone,” I mumbled.
“You don’t need them.” He ran a single claw down the vein on his wrist. Blood pooled immediately and he raised it to my mouth. “Now.”
I did, hating that I loved the way it tasted running down my throat. What the hell was wrong with me? Did fae drink blood like vampires? Is that why it didn’t totally gross me out? I had no idea. Maybe I was the sick bastard, not Braden.
When the vein closed thirty seconds later, I pushed him away. I already felt better and didn’t want to get any more attached than I already was. Regardless of how much I didn’t want to admit it, I was attached.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I won’t do it again.”
His blue eyes searched my face, and I knew he felt the emotions I’d just admitted to myself.
“I don’t mind if you do,” he said. “Just make sure you want all of me.”
He walked out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with my raging hormones and confused emotions. I heard him in the bedroom opening and closing the dresser drawers, mumbling in a language I didn’t understand.
I slid off the counter, and he met me at the door wearing a pair of boxer briefs. A set of clean clothes rested on his arm. I bit my lower lip and scooted around him, avoiding the eyes I felt bearing down on me.
“Don’t leave,” he said as I walked away. “We still need to talk about Jack’s army.”
Chapter 21
After changing into a clean set of clothes, I stood on the balcony listening to the waves crash on the rocks below. The sun had already set, though it’d be hours before the moon made its way into the western sky. But I could still feel the ocean, even if I could only see shadows of the breaking waves. It calmed me, but nothing would help sort the indecision in my mind.
For once, I’d like to not be bonded to anyone. What would it feel like to have only my own emotions and not someone else’s? And how great would it be to not have the damn elementals interfering in my life? Super fricking great. I’d love to just be a normal person with normal problems. I could get up in the morning and bitch about traffic, then complain about my nosy co-worker who always told the boss when I showed up two minutes late.
I wanted that life, not the one I’d been forced into. Could I ever have that? Probably not. I’d always be a freak. Never accepted by anyone, except Kellen. But what could I offer him other than heartache? Nothing.
I leaned against the railing and inhaled the cool ocean breeze. The glass door slid open behind me, but I didn’t turn. Braden’s scent drifted on the wind, giving away his presence. I pushed my attention back to the ocean, not wanting to feel his emotions.
“I’m going to Cairo,” he said, leaning on the railing next to me.
“It’s a good idea.”
“Thank you for making me see it.”
I didn’t respond, drawing in a deep breath instead and telling myself to focus on the ocean.
“Gordon thinks they’ve found Jack’s army,” he continued.
“Really?” I asked, starting to turn towards him, then stopping myself. “Can you tell me where?”
“He didn’t say,” Braden replied. “I told him I’d be there by morning, and he said he would show me when I arrived.”
“Oh.” I felt his eyes on me, but I didn’t want to see the way he looked at me. “You’ll call or text as soon as you know? I’ll make sure Kellen’s crew gets the information.”
“Look at me, dammit,” he hissed, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me around.
“I can’t,” I whispered. I dropped my forehead on his chest so he couldn’t make me see the expression on his face. “I need to hate you, but you won’t let me.”
“Why do you have to hate me, Alisandra?”
“Because, I’ll never be able to fulfill my oath if I don’t.” It wasn’t a lie, but he would feel the partial deception. I wouldn’t tell him my suspicions about our bond. There’s no way he would like me if we weren’t bonded. I’d be just another meal for him, not this thing he so obviously wanted to treasure.
He pulled me against him, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His sandalwood scent enveloped me, and I drew it in like an idiot. So much for trying to hate him.
“Then I’ll be the arrogant bastard you need until this is over,” he said.
I nodded and stepped back, my fingers trailing the edge of his belt as I let go. “Be careful,” I said, choking on my words. “Let me know when you get to Cairo.”
“A vampire doesn’t report to a mage,” he quipped.
“I suppose not,” I said. “Do it anyway.”
He ran his thumb across my lips, and I glanced up at him. He smiled, but it held only sorrow. Exactly why I didn’t want to look.
“I’ll think about it,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. Then, without another word, he walked away. The front door closed a few seconds later and I turned back to the ocean.
I forced all my stupid emotions into a tiny box in my head. Braden wasn’t the only one who needed to get his shit together. I didn’t have the luxury of being a weepy little girl. Maybe after all this was over I could, if I managed to survive.
I needed to find a way to convince the queen not to kill me when she realized we didn’t kill Jack. My best plan at this point was to imprison him in one of those trees myself. My brain paused, and I turned my back to the ocean, leaning on the rail. Cedric said only the person who creates the tree can release its prisoner, I thought. Did that mean if I created the tree, the queen wouldn’t be able to kill Jack? Would one of the fire elementals burn the tree and Jack for her? Probably. Or maybe she could just do it herself. Either way, Jack’s death would mean I had to become the blood-sucking parasite.
And what did that mean for the vision of Braden and his tree? According to Gordon, that was happening too. My stomach rolled at the thought. I couldn’t let the fae queen imprison Braden; she’d never let him go. But I wasn’t sure I could do it either, knowing the pain it inflicted on its prisoner. Shit. Could I get lucky and Gordon’s vision was wrong? Or maybe it was farther in the future and had nothing to do with our impending fight.
I was never lucky, so I better plan another tree for Braden. Just in case, I told myself.
Maybe I just needed to talk to the queen and bargain for our lives. What did I have to trade, though? It appeared the only thing she wanted was to take my magic from the world. No, she also wanted the elder vampires. At least, it looked that way. So, how could I get to the fae kingdom to try to bargain with the queen?
Cedric?
I held my breath, waiting for him to reply, hoping his mind wasn’t already gone. Memories of his affection for the little girl in my past resurfaced. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. He’d been a horrible father, but for one day every five years, he made me feel loved. It made my life that much more pathetic.
When he didn’t answer, I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and went inside the house. I snatched my phone off the table next to the sofa and sat down. I wasn’t trying to realm jump into a place I’d only seen in my father’s mind and stay standing. Sitting was better.
I glanced at my phone and cringed. Three missed texts from Kellen blinked at me. I swiped the surface and unlocked my phone, then read through his panicked messages. It’d been almost eighteen hours since I left, and he was worried something happened. It was selfish of me not to think of him.
Me: I’m fine. going to see Cedric. be back in a couple hours.
Kel
len: Victor found a goblin camp in the desert
My finger hovered over the phone. I should call him.
“Are you okay?” he asked after answering on the first ring, relief coloring his voice.
“Yep. Tell me about the goblins,” I replied. “How far from your uncle’s estate?”
“Almost two hours in a car,” he answered.
It would take a quarter of that time for a vampire to get to his uncle’s estate, but maybe goblins and trolls didn’t move as quickly.
“Well, that’s good. Closer to Cairo?” I asked.
“No, on the western side,” he explained. “They’re in the middle of the desert. I’m not sure where their water source is coming from, but they’ve got one.”
“That’s not good,” I mumbled, thinking of how they’d have water in the middle of the desert. “Mages?”
“Other magical creatures are capable, but a mage is the most obvious source.”
I tucked my feet beneath me and bit my lower lip. “How close did Victor’s people get? Close enough to get numbers?”
“Victor raged about that,” Kellen said. The sound of ice clinking against glass drifted through the phone. “Any animal roaming that far into the desert is obvious, even a bird.”
My mind went into overdrive. Was there something I could change into that wouldn’t draw attention? Deserts were all the same, right? Maybe I could hold the illusion of a snake long enough to slither into camp and find out.
“Are you still there?” Kellen asked.
“Yep, just thinking,” I replied. “Where are Victor’s people staying? At your uncle’s place?”
“You can’t go there, AJ.”
“Okay, thanks,” I quipped. My chat with the queen could wait another day. If we could eliminate part of Jack’s army ahead of time, it would give us a huge advantage. Maybe I could command them to go home. Wishful thinking. Jack was probably holding their homes hostage.
“I mean it,” Kellen insisted. “Goblins are vicious, and the shifters can’t get anywhere near the camp without being spotted. They wouldn’t be able to help you.”
“What makes you think I’m going to wander into their camp?” I asked.
“You’re not?”
“I’m naïve, not stupid,” I replied, grateful he couldn’t detect my lie. I was the queen of bad decisions.
“Then why were you asking?”
I paused. What to tell him? “Because Braden needs to know,” I answered. “He’s in Cairo. Maybe he can get close.”
“Oh. I didn’t think about that.”
More ice fell into his glass followed by the liquid pouring over it. How many drinks did he already have tonight?
“Put the whiskey away and your brain will work better,” I said. “I’m going to see Cedric. Do you want me to come back to the palace or your house?”
“I’m at the palace,” he mumbled.
“See you in a few hours.”
“Yeah.”
I hated the resignation in his voice. Was it because of the alcohol or had he given up?
“It’ll be over soon,” I said. “Then maybe you can get on with your life.”
“Yeah, my life.”
The call disconnected, and I dropped my phone in my lap. His despondency wasn’t helping anyone.
“Göksu. Niyol.”
Yes, child? the water elemental said in my mind.
“I want to see you, please,” I stated. “Both of you.”
A cool mist caressed my skin, followed by a warm breeze. The two elementals settled into the sofa across from me.
“Kellen needs a partner,” I said.
They looked at each other. Despite their transparent and fluid faces, I could see the hesitation and disbelief.
“I don’t give a shit what you think,” I declared. “He thought he had a partner with me and it was taken from him. Now, he’s wallowing in self-pity and doubt. It’s your fault we’re in this mess. Now fix it.”
“We can’t just pick someone else!” Göksu exclaimed.
“Yes, we can,” Niyol interrupted, glancing at his companion then back to me. “Kellen won’t be alone.”
“Thank you,” I said, my gaze bouncing between them. “Now, tell me where the goblin camp is.”
“Alisandra,” the air elemental began. “We…”
“Bullshit!” I jumped to my feet and glared at them. “You want us to win this fight or not? If you truly believe that Jack is wrong, help me. Don’t just throw shit in my way and expect me to figure out how to move it.”
“Go to Fadil’s caverns,” Niyol hissed. “I will take you to the goblins.”
“Don’t get pissy with me,” I warned. “I just want this over with.”
A gust of wind knocked me over and Niyol disappeared. I fell back onto the couch, cursing.
“Don’t be mad at him, child,” Göksu said, rising to his feet. “He fears being separated from you when this is done.”
I stared up at him and nearly choked. Did my elemental just confirm my own fears?
“And you don’t?”
“I’ve already suffered that pain once.”
“But you believe it’ll happen?” I asked, sinking back into the cushions.
“It’s the most likely possibility,” he replied. “Try not be so reckless. There are some things even I cannot heal.” He closed the short distance between us and placed his hand on my forehead. His soothing warmth enveloped me, and I closed my eyes with a sigh.
When I opened them, he was gone, which didn’t surprise me. I just hoped they found someone for Kellen, like I asked.
“Time for the emotions to go back in their little box,” I mumbled.
I brought up my memories of the training room that mirrored Kellen’s and jumped. Thankfully, I was already sitting when I arrived, because the complete darkness was disorienting. Even my super-vampire-night-vision was useless without some source of light. A cool breeze wafted across my skin, giving me goosebumps. It came from my left, so hopefully that was the right direction to get out.
I held out my phone and cursed. I couldn’t see it even though I knew it was right in front of me. I swiped the screen and the phone’s soft glow surrounded me. Quickly finding the flash light app, I tapped it on. The meager light barely penetrated the darkness, but at least I’d be able to find the entrance. I stumbled around the edge of the room for a few seconds before I found it, then made my way down the long hall.
The moonlit night greeted me at the mouth of the cavern along with Niyol. Miniature sand tornados surrounded his translucent form, a testament to his irritation. I flicked off my flashlight and stopped a few feet from the elemental who had been my favorite from the beginning.
“You know I’ll do everything I can to not die,” I said.
“I won’t let you die,” he stated. “But I can’t stop the elder from turning you into one of his own.”
I huffed and looked out across the open space. The nearly full moon cast dark shadows across the sandy dunes. Bright lights on the horizon gave away what I assumed was Fadil’s estate.
“If everything works the way I want, we won’t have to kill Jack.”
“Will you really be able to leave him imprisoned for the rest of his immortal life?”
There was the question of the day, or maybe week. I hadn’t been able to leave Ernesto to suffer it. But he wasn’t tied to anyone I cared about. Killing Jack wouldn’t just make me a vampire. It would tear my elementals from me, and as mad as I was about their meddling, I didn’t want that. Could I sacrifice Jack to spare their pain? I didn’t know.
“You do know, princess,” Niyol said even though I hadn’t voiced my indecision. “I will survive and find another mage. They won’t replace you, but they’ll ease my pain. Nothing will lessen Jack’s fate.”
“Shit,” I mumbled, not wanting to admit he might be right. “I’ll make that decision when I get there.”
“Do not tell Braden of the pain it will cause you to be separated from us,” Niyol
continued.
“Why not?” I asked. “Serves him right for making such an asinine decision.”
Niyol shook his head and placed his hand on my shoulder. “He may decide he cannot live with the guilt of that pain.”
“Whatever,” I snapped. “He cares a lot about his pretty neck. He won’t risk his oath to save me the pain of losing you and Göksu.”
He didn’t agree with me. I could see it in his hollow eyes. “Let’s go find the goblins,” he said.
“Fine.”
I didn’t want to think about the feelings between me and Braden anyway. I still insisted they were fabricated by our bond. The same way I was drawn to Logan, and my initial infatuation with Kellen. None of my feelings were actually mine. When this was over, I’d make Dusha separate me and Braden, just to prove my point. Why couldn’t my idiotic emotions stay in their damn box?
A sudden lurch through the air interrupted my brooding, and my stomach soared into my throat. Braden had nothing on Niyol’s race across the desert. Tiny grains of sand battered the bare skin on my arms, neck, and face. My non-existent dinner threatened to spill itself. I held back, knowing it’d just fly circles around the sand storm carrying me towards the goblin army. I had no desire to be covered in my own puke.
As suddenly as the journey started, it stopped. I toppled over in the cool sand, staying on my hands and knees for several moments as curtains of dirt fell around me.
“I’m not sure I want to do that again,” I complained. “That sucked.”
“You’re welcome,” Niyol grumbled. “There is your goblin army.”
A soft red glow lit the dark sky just ahead of us. It was nearly impossible to tell how far. Deserts were like that, the sand seeming to stretch on forever.
“They will have patrols around the camp, so be mindful of your path,” Niyol said. “I’ll keep watch over you and pull you out when you’re ready to leave.”
“Thank you for everything,” I said, turning to face him. “You know you’re my favorite, right?”
A sharp gust of hot air blew across my face, then he disappeared. I smiled, and tears misted my eyes. I’d do everything I could to keep him. Done with the feelings, I stuffed them into the box they kept breaking free from. No more feelings today. Yeah, right.
Elemental's Domain Page 25
