by A. M. Wilson
“It means we’ve been friends for a long time, and we’re still friends. One night of really nice drunken sex doesn’t have to ruin that.”
An eyebrow arches, and he releases a menacing growl. “Nice?”
I smirk, giving his body a slow perusal. Tan skin encasing cut muscles. Delineated quads rise to glutes I could bounce a quarter off, and all that beneath a chiseled torso that would make any living, breathing, warm-blooded woman drool. I don’t care how old you are, Sister Teri from the convent would be tempted to trade in her habit for a glimpse of this man. Nathan must spend every moment between calls in the gym because I never would have expected to find that hidden beneath his uniform.
Biting my lip, I nod. “Yeah. Nice.”
“Do you need me to show you again exactly how nice I can be?” He holds his hands out to the sides, palms facing me. “Because I have all day to provide a thorough demonstration.”
My sexual motor revs up for a day at the racetrack. Vroom, vroom. Hold on Indy 500, this is not what we signed up for when we stumbled drunkenly to his house last night.
“As nice as that sounds, I do need to get going. But you can call me anytime if you want a repeat. You know where to find me.”
Nathan snorts, tugging on boxer briefs that finally put that beautiful package in its proper place, and then props his hands on trim hips. It’s unfair that men can look like that after a night of booze and sex, and I’m over here looking like a swamp witch who demands riddles to cross her bridge.
“I’m pretty sure I could track you down day or night.”
I nod eagerly before remembering this was a one-night thing, and I shouldn’t act like an enthusiastic puppy. I cover quickly by pulling my purse strap over my head and shrug. “It was a great night, and as much as I enjoyed it, this should remain a one-time thing. We wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship or our relationship with Cami.”
He gestures me out of the bedroom so I take the lead, cognizant of the trembling in my legs. The suggestion to leave belongs to me, meaning the sinking in my gut is inexplicable. I don’t expect him to tie me to his bed to keep me here, but a teensy bit of begging me to stay would have been nice.
There’s that stupid word again.
“Cami is our best friend. She’ll be beside herself when she hears about us hooking up. She’s been trying to set me up ever since she turned me down herself.” His grin is adorably shy and sends flips through my belly.
“I didn’t know you were so eager to share our sexcapades. I wasn’t planning on telling her.” Fibber. I already texted her last night when I went home with him.
“You and I both know that’s bullshit. You already told her you were with me.”
My back stiffens in wonder.
“How do you—?”
“Your number one rule is to always let someone know where you are and who you’re with. Also, she sent me a text last night and threatened to kick my ass if I acted anything less than a gentleman.”
Nathan advances until my back presses to the wall beside his front door. His head dips, lips barely a breath away from mine, and his steel forearms land against the wall on either side of my head, caging me in.
“Did I pass?” he whispers, the movement touching his mouth to mine.
“Pass?”
“The best friend test.” Half his mouth hitches in a cocky smirk, drawing my gaze from his eyes back to his lips.
Realizing my hands hang at my sides like two stupid limp noodles, I lift them to rest on that sexy muscle chiseled above his hips. It elicits another shiver from me. His brown eyes darken as if to say I felt that. Oh, what is it about this man that turns my confident self into a quivering mess?
“Y-yeah. I’d say you passed.”
“Good.”
He plants his mouth on mine, pressing me tighter against the wall, and maneuvers his thigh into the space between my legs. The slight pressure nearly has me coming out of my skin as I discourage myself from grinding against him. As I slide my fingers into his unruly hair to take him deeper, he pulls away.
I’m left standing with my mouth gaping, struggling for a breath as he looks down at me sexily.
“Do you need a ride?”
My brain misfires from the scorching kiss. “Uh, no. I got it. My car’s a block away.”
“Get home safe, then. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
Fu-crap.
I may have forgotten that we worked together while I was busy doing the horizontal tango with him for the past twelve hours. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely okay with having sex with a friend. The problem is somewhere between shots three and four of tequila last night, I lost the piece of information that said I’d be seeing him on his shift rotation for the next five days.
Mental note to call Cami ASAP and ask her to be a human buffer. Scratch that. I’m acting insane. This is fine. This is Nathan, of all people. He’s the kindest, least judgmental person I’ve ever met. He won’t make things weird between us, especially at work. But is it a little weird that I could describe in detail what he looks like naked, and how good he is at using his tongue…?
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yep! The hangover is hitting me. I need something to eat, and I’ll be good as new.”
Nathan rubs his right ear against his shoulder. “You want to stay for a bite to eat?” His soft voice puts me at ease.
“No, but thank you. I should go. Burrito calls and all that.”
Oh my god, why, Kiersten? I’m as suave as an elephant on stilts. I reach behind me and twist the door handle. It pops open harder than I expect, and I stumble through the doorway. “I’ll see you at work!”
His chuckle chases me out the door, and I skip down the steps. I don’t look back until I reach the sidewalk in front of his house. Nathan leans against the doorjamb in nothing but his underwear, giving a little half wave and sexy half smirk when he catches me watching. Ugh, it’s so not fair.
At least this isn’t a true walk of shame. Besides my blond hair looking like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket, the pair of shorts and tee I wore to the bar last night appear perfectly normal for a Sunday morning stroll. I could’ve been forced to walk down main street in a pair of stilettos and little black dress. Now that’d be a shot to my ego, speaking strictly from experience.
A brisk ten-minute walk later, I reach my red Honda Civic behind the bar. After swinging past the Main Street diner for the loaded breakfast burrito I couldn’t stop thinking about, I find myself back at my empty house. A sigh escapes as I flop onto my brown microfiber couch. Kicking my feet out in front of me, I prop them on my antique coffee table.
After inhaling my burrito, texting Cami and Nathan that I’m home and alive, and taking my pill that I brought out before I sat down, I roll into my soft cushion, drag the throw off the back of the couch, and promptly pass out while thinking of the glamorous life of a single thirtysomething.
So. Freaking. Glamorous.
2
Kiersten
The week started off awkward by yours truly because my brain refused to stop picturing Nathan naked. Those paramedic uniforms do absolutely nothing to accentuate what he has underneath it. To be fair, I suppose it goes for the ladies too, but I swing hetero, so women don’t have the same effect on me. It also wouldn’t be fair, in the current climate of equality, to request his uniform to be a little revealing. Undo a button on top or something. Maybe I should ask my boss about doing one of those charity calendars the firefighters are so successful with. Naked heroes holding puppies.
The thought is ridiculous, though I wouldn’t mind having a calendar of Nathan all to myself.
After I overcome my initial inability to stop staring at Nathan’s ass, things go back to normal. By Wednesday, I’ve forgotten about the entire thing (yeah, right), but I do consider plans for the weekend that don’t involve having sex with my incredibly hot best friend.
Having one bar in town is both a blessing and a curse as I pull into the parking lot of
Calypso’s to meet Cami for lunch. Tamping down the highlight reel of my most recent visit, I stroll through the back door and find her already seated at a bar table. My gaze remains averted from the dark alcove Nathan and I occupied last weekend.
She wears her crisp white paramedic shirt and dark navy pants, dark hair pulled cleanly into two French braids.
“So your partner let you sneak away without him today?” My chair scrapes across the tiled floor, and I curse myself internally for mentioning Nathan first thing.
Cami glances at me with a raised brow before scanning her laminated menu.
“You could say that. He said he’d pick me up if a call came in. It is d-e-a-d today, as you know.”
As one of the county dispatchers, I do know.
“Small town living in the summer. With school starting soon, everyone is out of town enjoying the last of the warmth. Even if they have an emergency, most travel outside our jurisdiction.”
Cami nods. “Speaking of the end of summer, Evelyn wants to make one last trip to the amusement park with Maggie. I thought maybe you’d want to join us.”
A waitress sets down a water and another menu. “Thank you,” I tell her, waiting patiently for her to leave before giving my attention to my best friend. “I’m in. When are we going?”
“We thought this weekend would be nice. I’m off rotation after Friday. We can make a day of it Saturday, and you can keep me company while the girls run off and do their own thing.”
“Does that mean we can stuff our purses with mini bottles and spike our drinks all day?” I wiggle my eyebrows and smirk.
Cami groans even though I know she’s on the same page. Our friendship spans a decade, and I’d never suggest something like this to someone who wasn’t on board.
“I’ll have Law drop us off and pick us up.” The reluctance she injects in her tone is for show. She loves a good booze-a-thon nearly as much as I do.
“You’re the best.”
She lowers her menu and takes a sip of her own drink. “I know this. What I don’t know is how long you’re going to keep making me feel like I’m twenty-one instead of thirty-one.”
“Forever. Don’t even try to talk me out of it. We’ll be bribing Evelyn to sneak us alcohol into our group home when we’re eighty.”
“You’re so much trouble.”
“You just wait. When Evelyn is eighteen, things will get even crazier. We’re going to go skydiving and cave diving, and do all sorts of adventurous shit.”
Cami’s face pales beneath her summer tan. “No way in hell am I doing anything underwater. Heights are one thing, but you won’t even get me on a damn boat.”
The waitress interrupts to take our order, but I don’t let the conversation slide.
“Okay so maybe not underwater diving, but you’re a young mom. You’ll be, what, thirty-five when Evelyn graduates high school? If you and Law don’t make any babies of your own, you’ll have two-thirds of your life left and half the expenses. And I’ll be childless and husband-less until I die, so I’m free for the rest of our lives.”
“You might not be husband-less forever.”
Ignoring the incessant sting in my chest is tough. I shrug. “I also might be. I’m not looking for anyone, and clearly, no one is looking for me. I don’t have a ‘Law’ from the past to hunt me down and claim my heart.” I smile so she doesn’t mistake my words for bitterness. Their love story left me beyond thrilled. After I got over thinking he was a dick who didn’t deserve my best friend, of course. He proved himself in the end.
Cami stretches her arm across the table and places her hand on mine. “Hey, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. If anyone rocks the single life, it’s you. I’ve never met anyone so happy and secure with themselves and what they have in life. But Law walked back into my life after fourteen years apart and hit me like a freakin’ semitruck. You never know who’s going to show up and sweep you off your feet. It happens all the time.”
“I’m not a princess, and I am happy with my life.”
Her head bobs, and she draws her hand back. “I know. Just maybe don’t write him off just yet.”
“Him who?”
She leans back in her wrought-iron chair and folds her slim arms across her chest. “I don’t know. Could be anyone. Any promising conquests lately?”
I’m reaching for my drink and sucking on my straw before she even finishes her question. I dip my cup in her direction.
“You already know the answer to that, and you also know the answer is a big fat absolutely no. I mean, other things about him were big…and fat…” My voice trails dreamily.
“Eww, stop. I don’t need to hear these things.” She covers her ears dramatically.
The waitress’s punctual arrival ends my retort.
“Listen here, you can act like a prude all you want, but I know that Law taps your ass just fine, and you aren’t shy about letting him know it.”
“Kiersten!” Her hiss promises sudden death as redness floods her cheeks.
The smug bite of my burger was a bad choice as I inhale with humor and choke, slapping the table loudly with both of my palms. Silverware clatters, and my chair screeches back a foot, nearly tipping and crashing to the ground. I scramble for a drink of water. The cold liquid sloshes over the rim and the straw stabs dangerously close to my eye in the process. I finally get it into the correct hole and suck down a grateful gulp.
“Shit, are you okay?” Cami croaks in a cross between concern and a concealed laugh.
“Yeah, bitch, I’m just peachy,” I groan. “Choking on food is much less pleasant than choking on a dick.”
She buries her face in her hands. “Oh, my god.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m good now. I didn’t even need your skilled hands to give me the Heimlich. Look at that!”
“Eh…” She shrugs and stabs a forkful of steak salad. “You weren’t at that point yet. I could still hear air getting through.”
I bury my meat sandwich back into my mouth. “Whatever. Text Law and let him know about Saturday and tell him to be ready. We haven’t had a good night out since New Year’s. It’s about time we get up to some shenanigans.”
“Don’t forget there will be two tween girls with us. You have to stay on your best behavior.”
“If by best behavior you mean that I don’t find anyone to screw in a locker room, then I can handle that.”
Cami waves her hand at the waitress to signal for the check. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.”
“Don’t worry, bestie. We’ll lie in the sun, take on the water park, have a boozy buzz, and show two tweens a fantastic time. Pinky promise.”
I follow her to the register to pay.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little nervous about taking Maggie. We used to go every summer together, and this will be the first time without her mom. I just want her to have a good time.”
Maggie lost her mom this year in a car accident that almost killed her and Evelyn as well. That moment solidified my desire not to have kids. How parents can basically live with their heart outside their body is a mystery to me. Watching the pain Cami went through with nearly losing Evelyn hurt me almost as much as if she were my own daughter.
Gripping her shoulder, I pull her into a tight hug. “Hey, it’ll be okay. She’s always going to feel the pain of missing her mom, but that doesn’t mean she won’t have fun. We’ll make sure of it, and if it’s not enough to dull the sting, then she’ll have two strong women there to hold her up.” The grip of emotion crawls up my throat, so I sever my words there.
Cami pulls away first and swipes the back of her hand beneath her eye. “You’re right. We got this.” A watery smile graces her face. “Thank you.”
“Any time, babe. I got your back.”
Her regard of me is like a physical touch, and I know why with what she says next.
“Yeah, you always do. I just wish you’d let me have yours.”
With a wave of my hand, I brush away her words. “Of
course you do. Not all of us have a dramatic romance with long-lost lovers, secret pregnancies, and teenage runaways. Just because I haven’t needed you for any major events in my boring life doesn’t mean I don’t think I can count on you to be there for when I do.”
“Aw, you’re going to make me cry,” Cami whines. She isn’t wrong. All this talk even has my eyes stinging.
I wave her away again. “Yeah, yeah, it must be your motherhood hormones taking over again. Get back to work, woman. I’ll see you Saturday if I don’t see you before that.”
“See you Saturday!” she calls and hustles out the front exit. I turn around and meander to the back alley where I parked.
The early afternoon sun kisses my cheeks as I step from inside the dim restaurant. My face tips to the heat streaming beyond the cotton clouds, and I revel in my gratefulness. Warmth infiltrates my bones, chasing away the solid chill from our heavy conversation.
Cami and I don’t typically delve into drama, proving something must be in the water today. The heaviness stems from talk of futures, or lack of, and not because of the meat monster I choked down in less than fifteen minutes. That bad boy was delicious.
Life, love, and loss are all things I’ve yet to experience in my thirty-seven years.
My grandparents haven’t even passed on yet. I’m incredibly blessed to have them in my life well into adulthood, so my greatest loss has been a pet hamster when I was thirteen. Cami, Law, and Evelyn had each endured more by that age than I have in my entire life.
And maybe I’m projecting by asking Cami to take risks with me. Who else am I going to go on adventures with? Myself? Some things in life are worth having someone to share them with, but at what cost? Tying myself to the wrong person seems more likely than finding that once-in-a-lifetime fairy-tale romance. The latter seems next to impossible.
Those are the statistics and not just my opinion. It’s no wonder the divorce rate is skyrocketing when people fall in love so easily and give up before the ink is dry. If I ever get married—a big if at this point in my life—it’ll be to someone who completes me and complements me. I refuse to stand down to a man or be forced to live up to someone else’s standard.
