by Mohr, Jay
Next, Melanie Hutsell as Tori Spelling and Tim Meadows as Ike Turner sang to Kevin Nealon, who didn’t have any lines in the song. The three of them danced off the stage. Then Norm Macdonald, Sarah Silverman, and I sang, “We’re not on a lot, so we better try and score” and we danced off the stage. As we exited, Sarah jumped up on my back and Norm sort of sulked along behind us with his hands in his pockets.
That left seven people on the stage. Mike Myers as Linda Richman from “Coffee Talk” sang his solo and did a hora off the stage, and the crowd went bananas. That was the first applause break of the sketch. Ellen Cleghorne sang as Zoraida the NBC page, and she too received an applause break.
Four people stood on the stage and continued singing “So long, farewell.” Rob Schneider as the Copy Guy and Julia Sweeney as Pat sang a duet and left the other cast members standing behind them. Michael McKean was dressed as Lenny from Laverne & Shirley. He sang, “I don’t have a character yet, but I was on Laverne & Shirley.” He did his dance off the stage as Lenny, and the crowd applauded along with hoots and hollers.
That left one person onstage. It was Chris Farley dressed as the Motivational Speaker. Before he even opened his mouth, the crowd went apeshit. He started to walk to the front of the stage, hitching his pants up as he walked. At this point in the sketch, the song had slowed down to a lullaby and Chris began singing softly, “So long, farewell, hey, what am I, chopped liver?” He let out a yawn and sat down on the edge of the stage and continued, “I need to sleep in a van down by the river.” Chris yawned again and bowed his head as if he had fallen asleep.
Phil Hartman walked out from the side of the stage and sat down next to Chris. As Phil sat, Chris rested his head on Phil’s lapel. Phil then looked at the camera again and said, “You know, I can’t imagine a more dignified way…” That’s when his voice cracked. The glue. It was the last thing he was going to say on Saturday Night Live as a cast member. The sight of Phil’s eyes getting moist was stunning. His voice quivered as if he might cry, and he paused for a second to collect himself. He continued speaking into the camera, saying, “To end my eight years on this program…” Chris cuddled up into Phil and Phil sang, “Good-bye. Good-bye. Good-bye.” The camera angle on the last “good-bye” switched to the crane camera that swung through the studio. Phil was looking up as he sang. Farley nuzzled in closer to Phil and moved his head from Phil’s lapel to his shoulder. The sketch ended like that, with Phil Hartman and Chris Farley sitting onstage together, sleeping and singing “Good-bye.”
The stage lights dimmed and the only light left on the stage was a small spot focused on Chris and Phil. The entire stage was dark except for the circle of light on the shoulders and heads of Chris and Phil. When this snapshot comes into my mind, it remains longer than the others. It’s as if you were staring into a lightbulb the moment someone switches it off. The room goes dark, but you can still see the coils of the bulb.
Whenever I think of Phil and Chris sitting together on the stage in studio 8-H in the early morning hours of May 15, 1994, to say that it was all worthwhile is belittling. It was glorious.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Happy Hour
Chapter One
Comedy is Truth the Moment Before Anticipation
Chapter Two
Dude, How Did You Get on SNL?
Chapter Three
A Knee in the Groin
Chapter Four
Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday
Chapter Five
Swimming with Sharks
Chapter Six
Playing Well with Others
Chapter Seven
Fight or Flight?
Chapter Eight
The Motivational Speaker
Chapter Nine
Music for the Soul
Chapter Ten
Fake Pitches
Chapter Eleven
From the Cradle
Chapter Twelve
Dressing Down
Chapter Thirteen
“Good Morning, Brooklyn”
Chapter Fourteen
Lorne
Chapter Fifteen
Weekend Update
Chapter Sixteen
Give Me Little Bits of More Than I Can Take
Epilogue
Phil Hartman, U.S.A.
“Plush” by Eric Kretz, Robert Emile DeLeo, Dean DeLeo and Scott Richard Weiland. Copyright © 1992 Universal Music Corp. on behalf of Milsongs. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“Ultra Violet (Light My Way)” by Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen. Copyright © 1991 Universal—Polygram International Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“Cherub Rock,” by Billy Corgan. © 1992 Cinderful Music/Chrysalis Songs (BMI). All Rights administered by Chrysalis Songs. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. WARNER BROS. PUBLICATIONS U.S. INC., Miami, FL 33014.
“You Don’t Know How It Feels,” by Tom Petty. © 1994 Gone Gator Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. WARNER BROS. PUBLICATIONS U.S. INC., Miami, FL 33014.
Copyright © 2004 Giraffe Productions, Inc. f/s/o Jay Mohr
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the Publisher. For information address Hyperion, 77 West 66th Street, New York, New York 10023-6298.
ISBN 1-4013-9984-3
First eBook Edition: June 2004
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