“Take the boy and lock him up,” Yuebek said. “Bring the next prisoner.”
His soldiers saluted. I turned and saw them dragging the bound figure of Dai Kaggawa through the doors just as they removed Anino and Chiha’s body from our presence.
Yuebek strode past me to yank Dai to his feet. He looked into Dai’s eyes for a moment before pushing him away. “Your second betrayal. You told me this man was a threat. Told me the whole nation would see this liberation as a sign of power, as something to be grateful for. Yet his army fell apart at the mere sight of mine. This worthless commoner could’ve never taken this city.” Yuebek drew his sword.
“My lord—!”
Yuebek stopped, turning to me. “You’re going to beg for his life?” he asked.
“Talking sense isn’t begging,” I said. “There’s been enough death already, and this one won’t do a damn thing. His army’s gone. He’s of no value dead. Even mopping the floor would be too much trouble.”
Grana cleared her throat and whispered something to Huan. “Queen Talyien…” Huan broke in. I could see his face twitching, as if he was avoiding looking directly at Yuebek out of fear of being recognized as the dragon. “We would like to take custody of him. He’s a traitor. A public execution in the future would do a world of good in stabilizing this region. Maybe the rice lords will think twice about crossing us again.”
“Just kill me already,” Dai finally said. “All this talk is loathsome.”
“I’m claiming the prisoner for myself,” I replied. “You’ve yet to send me a wedding gift anyway, Warlord Huan.”
Huan smiled. “Well, we were going to send you that horse you liked from your time with us on the ridge…”
“I can take two presents.” I walked over to where Dai was kneeling and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You consider him a traitor, but then, so was Warlord Ojika when he decided to take over this region. My father forgave him.”
“If you’re suggesting we simply let him go—”
“No. I want him locked up for the time being. I’ll decide what to do with him later.”
“Are you looking to make an example of me, Beloved Queen?” Dai asked. “You will win few friends in this region if you do. The Jin-Sayeng you know and the true Jin-Sayeng are not the same. Already they speak of your decision to marry this… thing… with disbelief. What are you doing, Talyien Orenar? Do you even know yourself?”
I turned away from him.
“I see,” Dai said, rising to his feet. “I’m not even worth a conversation now that you’re surrounded by your royal friends. And yet when you had no one—”
“You were there. I know,” I replied, not looking at him. “And I thank you every day for that, Kaggawa, believe it or not. But we all know you did it for your own gain. I cannot be grateful when my son was nothing but a pawn to your own power play.”
“You’re a fool,” Dai gasped. “All of you are fools.”
“Take him away,” I said. I glanced at Yuebek, daring him to contradict me.
Huan gestured at his soldiers, who returned to grab Dai by both shoulders. “The land will burn,” Dai roared as they dragged him off.
As soon as the doors closed, Yuebek began to laugh.
I felt my arms tingle as he strode towards me. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Queen Talyien?”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said. “It’s been a long day, my lord. Perhaps—”
Yuebek inclined his head towards the doors. “What that man was saying… I’ve picked up enough of your infernal language after studying your father’s writing. The land will burn, he said. Tell me, why is that, my lovely?” He grabbed my chin, his fingers digging into my skin.
I turned my head. “He’s a madman, lusting for power. Who’s to say what he really means?”
“Perhaps my other guest might have more answers,” Yuebek said, his eyes wide with merriment. The change in his mood was tangible. “He claims every single one of your treacheries boil down to one. He says that you need me to put an end not to this petty civil war, but to an instability in the agan fabric in the mountains. That I am the only mage powerful enough to carry such a spell. This marriage, your father’s maneuvering, all of it—just because you knew no one with the necessary skill could be so foolish to risk their life.”
I swallowed, my eyes burning.
“You were to lead me here,” Yuebek continued. “Your soldiers were to quietly dispose of mine while we make a little trip to the mountains, just you and me and a handful of your men. Assassinations in the dark, probably this very night.” He clapped and held out his hand.
A soldier rushed forward, carrying a bag that dripped blood to the floor.
“Murdering guests!” Yuebek continued. “To think a queen would stoop to such lows! But no matter. No matter, my dear. I’ve taken care of it, I’ve ironed out your treachery. Every single Oren-yaro soldier in the city has been put to death. It’s too late for them now.”
I barely heard him. I stared at the bag, nauseated.
“Oh,” Yuebek continued, noticing my silence. “Are you afraid I’ve done something terrible like you thought I did the last time? Show her,” he ordered the soldier.
The soldier bowed and upended the bag. A head casually rolled out, still wearing the wolf’s helmet of the Tasho clan. I guessed it was General Mangkang.
“I mean, why would I let you miss this?” he sneered, clapping his hands.
The doors opened a third time, and Khine strode in like he owned the room.
I felt my heart leap to my throat, felt it tighten. The rope, now. There was no point resisting. I would dangle soon enough.
I thought I could be calm. Had tried to tell myself to accept the inevitable, that gnawing over that restlessness wasn’t going to do anything. If he had betrayed me, what good would anger do? And here he was. Here he was, and I couldn’t even make myself hate him. How could I? Rai abandoned me with our son for five years and I held on to that love until I choked on it.
I couldn’t wrap my thoughts around what I was feeling with this one. Raw couldn’t even begin to explain it. I felt beaten. Exhausted. Empty. What was it that Chiha had told me earlier?
“I have the easier job,” she’d said. “You? Your silver plate is shit-stained. I may have hated you, Talyien Orenar, but believe me, I never envied you.”
Khine took a deep breath. “I am sorry, for what it’s worth.” His voice was raspy. “But you should know better than to trust a thief and a con artist. I’m Shang Azi scum. I’ve told you often enough, Queen Talyien.”
Less than you’ve told me other things. It hurt what the sound of his voice still did to me.
There was another figure behind him. Before I could take another breath, Khine pushed Thanh forward. Thanh shrugged away from him and scampered down the hall.
“Does this all sound right to you, my queen?” Yuebek continued as I grabbed my son. He laughed. “Does it sound right that you claim to love me, that you claim to need a hero… when all you really wanted was a mage! A mage, with Jinsein blood! I just happen to fit, and you vultures swooped in without a second thought. Isn’t that right? You lied to me, my queen! Used me! I, who came to you from the goodness of my heart!”
The mimicry of my own feelings, coming from this man, made me feel ill. I held on to Thanh, my arms around him. I couldn’t stop him from hearing everything, but if Yuebek decided to pull a sword on us, I was hoping I could block the blade with my body.
But Yuebek wasn’t even looking at me. “And yet—” he snapped, turning around with a sweep of his arm. “I was a fool. You denounced the bastard too easily. Of course you did! I was looking at the wrong man! What love could you have given me when you’ve been seeking warmth elsewhere?”
My mouth felt dry. I gazed up at Khine, who gave a small smile. I was reading him now, trying to untangle the knots, as if I could find a different answer than what stood in front of me. As if I never learned.
“He wanted to kno
w everything,” Khine said. “So I told him.”
“Everything,” I repeated.
“Everything.” He smiled. “Your new husband deserved to know, Beloved Queen. He deserved to know how you’ve used other men before, all to get something out of us. You used our love for you to bleed us dry. You let Agos take the fall for your disastrous marriage to Lord Rayyel and he paid dearly for it. You used me to save your son, even if it meant putting my head on the chopping block. Both of us, blinded by our desire… we let you have your way. I told him the truth—it isn’t your fault and he shouldn’t blame you so much for what you can’t give. The Bitch Queen of Jin-Sayeng is simply… incapable of love.”
Khine’s words tore a hole through my heart. You’re lying, I thought, looking at him. You’re lying again. You’re such a good liar. I’ve never met anyone better.
But then again, he could have been lying to me.
Yuebek began to laugh again before I could make up my mind. The whole show amused him to no end. “Is she hopeless, then?” he demanded. “Is the woman beyond redemption?”
“Redemption isn’t the word you’re looking for, my prince,” Khine said, his eyes skipping past me now to gaze at Yuebek. It looked like they had an understanding—a quick, sneering joke between men, made at a woman’s expense. The sort of joke that stripped us of our value, made us nothing more than lumps of meat appraised on a butcher’s block. “You have her back against the wall. You have her son—she knows she can’t resist you or worse will fall on the boy. Do with her what you will. You can still have everything you ever wanted.”
The grin on Yuebek’s face told me they’d had this talk before. I felt ill. You’re lying, I repeated to myself. How can you do this so well? You need to teach me someday. I needed him back—the man who couldn’t say such things, whose kindness could shine a light that would throw the shadows far to the walls. I needed him so much I could barely breathe.
“What was the price?” I asked. “What did he offer you in return?”
“Something irresistible,” Yuebek answered for him.
Soldiers appeared from the side, this time with an old man in thick grey robes. A single jewel on a chain hung around his neck. “Tashi Reng Hzi,” Khine greeted, bowing.
The man gave a thin smile. “You’d still use the honorific. What do you think that would do?”
“Nothing,” Khine replied. “You know that’s not what matters to me.”
“Oh?” the old man said. “You didn’t go through all of this just so I can restore your title? One word from me and the guild will let you retake that test. One word from me and they’ll sign you without it. Isn’t that what the prince offered you?”
“He did. He also mentioned one other thing,” Khine said. “My child, Tashi Reng. He said my child survived.”
I realized, at that moment, that this was real.
I thought I still knew Khine, despite everything. I knew what drove him—ideals, his own personal honour. But love, mostly love. His family, his friends, his patients. And I think he did love me—I still wanted to believe that—only that couldn’t eclipse what had been there before. The shadow of his separation with Jia still haunted him. If the child he thought he’d lost was alive after all—if there was a chance of repairing what he once had—then I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was over. Had I been in his place, I might’ve done the same thing.
Yuebek returned to hover over me and my son like some twisted, protective shadow. “I am a generous man,” he said. “This peasant came clean to me, and so he will get his just reward. I should kill him for defiling you. I should have his innards draped over the courtyard for all to see! But I won’t. I can do better than that. Denounce her, peasant!”
“She is nothing to me,” Khine said, in a voice as cold as winter ice.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
“Queen Talyien is nothing to me,” he repeated, turning to the crowd. “I made a mistake. I won’t repeat it.”
“You see?” Yuebek asked, grinning. “Look at this weak fool! These people know nothing, my dearest. Only someone like me can understand someone like you. Only I can ever truly love you, Talyien. The faster you accept that, the easier it will be for us. No—I won’t make him into a martyr. I won’t make you pine for his sorry hide. Instead, he will get his child, a position with the physicians’ guild, riches beyond his wildest dreams—everything a man like him could ever want!—so that you will remember how empty his promises were every time you think of him.” He nodded, and Khine walked off to follow Tashi Reng Hzi. He never looked at me again.
Yuebek placed his cold hands on my shoulders. “I can be generous to you, too,” he said in a low voice. “You know this. I kept your pathetic Rayyel alive, didn’t I? I listened to your every demand.” His fingers tightened so hard his nails dug through the fabric of my robe, into my skin. “I was going to kill you tonight,” he hissed. “I planned to murder you right here and burn the fields along the way back to my father’s palace. I am not wanted there, either, but at least I know!” His eyes danced. “But he’s right. Why waste this opportunity? Why let a wretched woman like you ruin my life? I came all this way, and now I have you at last. Not the way I would have wanted it—but I have you. To think—if you had only been truthful in the first place, none of this would have been necessary!” He turned to the crowd, still laughing. “I’ll do it! She may hate me, my queen, but I’ll save your damn nation, whatever it takes! It’s mine now too, isn’t it? Mine to save! Mine to destroy! All mine!”
And then, as if to prove his point, he kissed me with a mouth that tasted like death.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE RECKONING
In the whirlwind that followed, Nor’s harsh words became my guiding light. It is calmest in the eye of the storm.
I waded through my emotions, boxing them in every possible corner. Anger. Hurt. Unease. Disgust. Each of these didn’t serve me, so off they went.
But erasing yourself is easier said than done. We did not will ourselves into existence; we cannot will ourselves out. I made a mark on the world before I even drew my first breath. I understood there was no escape. I was right where I needed to be, the last piece left in this unbeatable game of Hanza. I needed to believe Khine’s words: Queen Talyien is nothing. A name, a puppet, a simulacrum of a human being. Those with lives less shackled than my own can judge all they want. What do they know, they who have never walked in my shoes? Critics, spectators with wagging tongues. You scream at me for allowing my emotions to cloud my decisions, for not seeing two steps ahead at all times. Tell me—what would you have done in my place? I assume, whatever it is, that you believe it would be exemplary. That you could create peace and harmony with one or two words, or bring order and justice with one strike of your sword. The wisdom of the sages, from the mouths of those who know everything.
I assume you also think fairy tales are real.
This is all I know: I played my part. I was playing it still. I—coward, villain, murderer, bitch, whatever other cruel name you can unearth for me—had every reason to walk away, and I didn’t.
After the feast, a messenger came, bearing news of the Ikessars’ impending arrival. Princess Ryia had reconvened with Warlord Hhanda’s forces and they were marching towards us, several thousand strong.
Yuebek laughed in response and called for horses, claiming he didn’t want to delay the inevitable. “The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get rid of these other pests,” he said, his face twisted into a maniacal grin. Nobody argued. But dread filled me to the bones when Yuebek turned to the stable hand and exclaimed, “Bring a pony for the boy!”
“He’s not coming with us,” I said.
Yuebek nearly spat in his laughter. “If you think you’re going to pull the wool over my eyes again, my queen, you’re sorely mistaken. You and me and the boy—we’re the only ones going up there.”
“Esteemed Prince,” Huan began, his lips curled in distaste as if we were back on
that battlefield and he was convinced he could tear Yuebek apart with one bite. “There are dragons there.”
“I know there are,” Yuebek said, giving me a look.
“Then let me come, along with a few of my men. Your soldiers wouldn’t be equipped to handle them, but mine have faced the creatures many times already. We know what we’re doing.”
Yuebek smiled. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, lordling?”
Huan’s face darkened. “My lord, I—”
“You’re her dog. That’s as clear as day. You Jinsein scum really think I’m that much of a fool. And my own? Who knows if she’s sunk her claws into them as well. We’ve been on the road this whole time. We all know my dear wife’s reputation. She must’ve slept with every single one of them while my back was turned. No—we will go. Alone.” His eyes turned to me. “The boy ensures your good behaviour. One wrong move and I will snap his little head clean off his body. Leave the dragons to me.”
“It is dangerous up there,” I said. “A man or two, perhaps—”
“We will not have guards,” Yuebek spat. “You may have your sword. I’m being generous, my queen.”
I tightened my jaw and kept my silence as a servant appeared with my father’s sword. She bowed, allowing me to take it and push the scabbard through my belt. “I need a knife, too,” I said. “A grass-cutter blade. You can never be too sure.”
Yuebek flashed an angry stare at the crowd.
Someone coughed. A grass-cutter was a peasant’s sword, but somehow, eventually, one was procured.
“You test me,” Yuebek said.
“You knew I would,” I retorted.
He turned to his horse, just as I felt my son’s hand in mine. “It’ll be all right, Mother,” Thanh whispered. “I’m not afraid.”
You should be, I thought in anguish. I didn’t say it. I touched his smooth face, wondering why he looked so much older than the last time I had seen him. It had only been a few weeks. My son was growing up too fast. After all the things the gods had done to me, they could’ve at least given my son a few years of joyful ignorance. They could’ve given him time.
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