“Why are you being so stubborn?” Finn demanded. “Kaitlin and Mara are determined to find a man for Brynn, and we all know you never got over her.”
“I was friends with her dead husband.” Nick shook his head. “Hell, I set them up in the first place.”
“In high school,” Parker reminded him. “A lot has changed since then.”
Josh nodded and then waved a hand between Finn and Parker. “These two yahoos were gone for most of that time, but I’ve been here. I can vouch you were nothing but respectful toward Daniel and Brynn’s marriage. I don’t think anyone outside of your close circle of friends even knew you had feelings for her.”
“Because it wasn’t my place to have feelings for her.” Nick took another long drink of beer. “I lost that right when I hurt her.”
“You’re different now,” Finn said quietly.
“In a lot of ways,” Nick agreed. “But I don’t do relationships.”
“You haven’t done relationships,” Parker corrected. “That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of it.”
Josh chuckled and elbowed his brother. “If this one can take the plunge, I’d bet money anyone could.”
“What about you?” Nick pointed a chicken wing in Josh’s direction. “I’m not the only one who’s single at this table. Maybe we could work on matchmaking for you, and I could get a damn break around here.”
Josh sighed. “I’d love to find a nice, even-tempered woman to date.”
“That sounds boring as hell,” Finn said on a choked laugh.
“I’ve had the exciting whirlwind,” Josh responded. “It didn’t work out so well for me. Boring is right up my alley.”
Nick hadn’t known Josh’s ex-wife well but he didn’t think much of her. After a swift courtship and quickie wedding in Las Vegas, Josh and his bride had returned to Starlight, but as far as Nick could tell, Jenn had never been happy. The timing of their separation had been particularly brutal. Jenn left town shortly after their daughter, Anna, who was not even in kindergarten, had been diagnosed with cancer, leaving Josh on his own to handle the girl’s treatments, as well as try to explain the breakup of their family.
Josh didn’t talk much about the past, but it had been a dark time, and he deserved to find a good woman as much as Brynn did a good man.
“Boring is underrated,” Parker agreed. “I never thought I could be entertained watching princess movies, but an evening on the couch with Mara and Evie beats a late night out at the bar any day.”
Nick felt irritation prick his skin. He knew exactly what Parker was talking about and it annoyed the hell out of him. He’d ordered a Lego set from the internet and couldn’t wait to put it together with Tyler when it arrived. What kind of grown-ass man was excited about overpriced plastic toys?
“Maybe you should date Brynn,” he muttered to Josh.
“Because she’s boring?” the other man asked with a frown.
“Hell, no, she’s not boring.” Nick wiped his fingers on a napkin and focused his gaze on his beer. “But she’s nice, even-tempered and damn near perfect.”
Josh shifted closer. “And you’re okay with me asking her out?”
Nick ground his teeth. He opened his mouth to give his blessing, but the words refused to pass his lips. He should encourage the match. Kaitlin had told him that she and Mara weren’t giving up on their stupid plan for twelve dates. Josh had been through the wringer with his divorce. Brynn’s marriage had left her with far too many emotional scars. Maybe they’d be the perfect salve for each other.
The thought made Nick want to puke.
“No,” he breathed out finally, then finished the rest of his beer. “Not even a little.”
Finn patted him on the back. “Nice to see you can pull your head out for a few seconds. We can build on that.”
“I don’t deserve her,” he said, needing his friends to understand. “She’s too good for me.”
“Duh.” Parker threw up his hands. “You just hit on the magic, buddy. We’re with these amazing women who are so far above us and somehow they love us anyway. Here’s a little secret...” He leaned across the table. “You’re a fool if you don’t take the opportunity.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said through clenched teeth. “But can you all stop Dear Abby-ing my life for a few minutes so I can enjoy the wings in peace.”
“Speaking of peace...” Finn made a face. “Or more likely a disturbance in the peace... Ella gets to town tomorrow. I mentioned Remi to her and she’s up for nannying for a few weeks until she figures out her next steps.”
Finn’s younger sister, Ella, had been a wild child back in the day. She hadn’t been on Nick’s radar much, since she was a couple years younger. She’d gone out of her way to antagonize their rigid father, especially after their mom died while the kids were in high school. She’d left Starlight and gone to school to become a nurse.
Nick knew from Finn that she’d spent the past several years all over the globe as a travel nurse.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen her?” Parker asked gently.
“Too long.” Finn’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “She had a layover in San Fran a couple of years ago, so I flew down for lunch. I still don’t understand why she’s coming back right now. She’d always wanted to stay as far away from Starlight as possible.”
“I never understood you people being so determined to leave this town behind,” Josh said around a bite of popper. “I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”
Nick could. He’d had the same driving need to escape the confines of small-town life and his role in it that his friends did. The need had been even stronger once Brynn and Daniel married. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.
Now he wondered if returning to Starlight contributed to his commitment issues. How was he supposed to risk hurting another woman with the regular reminder of what his selfishness had done to Brynn?
It was a big part of why he’d stopped before things had gone too far with her. Too far when he knew they weren’t meant to be.
“Tell her to call me when she’s ready to meet Remi.” He nodded at Finn. “My mom has been uncharacteristically great in this situation, but I can see that it tires her out.”
“Kids are exhausting,” Josh said with a laugh. “It’s why they’re made so cute.”
Chapter Twelve
“This is irregular to say the least.”
Brynn swallowed and gave Jennifer her brightest smile. “Nick and I have been friends since we were kids, and I appreciate that he’s letting Tyler and me stay here. It’s unconventional, but on the plus side, Remi is getting to know both me and her new brother more than she would have if we’d been only able to visit. When she’s part of our family—”
“Nothing has been approved yet,” Jennifer reminded her gently.
“But there’s been no word from Francesca?” Nick prompted.
The social worker’s mouth thinned as she shook her head. “Not yet.”
A sliver of worry sliced through Brynn’s chest. “Do you think she might return to claim Remi?” Brynn had set her mind and her heart on the idea that Remi would become her daughter.
She had so much love to give.
“She still has time before her parental rights are permanently terminated.”
“She abandoned her baby.” The note of panic must have been clear in Brynn’s tone because Nick shifted closer to her on the sofa so he could cover her hand with his. Her gaze strayed to the baby, who was contentedly sucking on her pacifier in the social worker’s arms.
“The law is clear that the priority needs to be reunification with the biological parent. We discussed that in our first meeting.”
“Yes, but...” Brynn trailed off. Of course, she’d heard the social worker’s words, but she hadn’t been able to process them through her shock. A thousand reg
rets rushed through her, and she suddenly felt like the most foolish mother that ever lived. What if Francesca returned? That would be enough of a blow, but what if the other woman was unwilling to forge a relationship between Tyler and his sister?
The boy had dealt with so much loss. They might have taken things slower, but Francesca leaving the baby with Brynn had given her no choice. He’d already formed a bond with his sister. Brynn refused to consider the possibility he might lose that, too.
“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” Nick squeezed her hand. “We need to focus on Remi being safe and loved now. Brynn’s reconstruction is on-track according to the contractor, so our living arrangement is only until Christmas. You can see the baby is thriving, Jennifer. Surely that’s what the state wants.”
Brynn forced herself to breathe at a normal rate. Nothing would be served by coming off as an emotional basket case in front of Remi’s social worker. Nick was right. She’d faced challenges she would have never expected and overcome them. She would make sure things worked out the right way with Remi.
“True.” Jennifer smiled down at the baby. “And right now, the system is flooded with kids who need homes.”
“Right before Christmas?” Brynn’s heart broke for those children. “That’s so unfair.”
The social worker laughed without humor. “This job is a continual lesson in the unfairness of life. But Nick’s right about this little sweetheart. She’s doing great.”
She’d held her breath when going over the details of the house fire, afraid it would be a strike against her. But the social worker had been surprisingly understanding about the entire situation.
Brynn straightened and took the baby from the woman. Remi immediately placed her head on Brynn’s shoulder and yawned. “Our sweetheart is tired and in need of a nap. If you don’t need me for anything else, I’m going to take her upstairs.”
Jennifer nodded. “Nick and I can finish up. Good luck with your house, Brynn. Call me when you’re moved back in and we’ll schedule a follow-up home visit. That will be the final step in the process of approving your foster application.”
Brynn blinked, then nodded, taking care not to make eye contact with Nick. She’d almost forgotten this setup was temporary. Once she was approved, Nick wouldn’t be a daily part of their lives anymore. It had only been a week since they’d been living under the same roof, but co-parenting with Nick felt as natural as slipping on a comfortable pair of shoes. Well, other than the part where she wanted to jump his hot body.
It would be a big adjustment to go back to the way things were before. One she didn’t relish.
“I’ll definitely call,” she told the woman, then carried Remi up the stairs, still unwilling to meet Nick’s gaze, although she felt him watching her.
She would deal with her emotions in private—wrestle them down to something less humiliating—before she faced him. Because if Nick looked in her eyes right now, he’d know. He’d know that she was ignoring the reality that Francesca might return. Brynn had pressed forward, making plans in her mind, carving out a future for herself and her two—definitely two—children. It was easier to ignore the past than admit how its shadow loomed across her life.
She’d scheduled herself to work from home today in order to meet with the social worker. Now she wondered if Jennifer assumed she was playing house with Nick, allowing herself to be caught up in a fantasy that would never materialize. Her face burned with embarrassment, like she’d been caught in class writing Mrs. Nick Dunlap in a notebook over and over. Like she’d once again reached above herself, wanting a man and a future she was never meant to have.
But she refused to believe Remi wasn’t meant to be part of her family. The baby was already in her heart. Blinking away tears, she sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” as she changed the girl’s diaper and dimmed the lights in her room. The sweet, sad lyrics fit Brynn’s mood, and Remi didn’t seem to notice her melancholy.
The girl sighed as Brynn lay her on her back on the soft sheet, her eyes heavy with sleep. Brynn stood watching her for several minutes more. There was no way she wanted to go back downstairs if the social worker was still in the house.
In fact, she was half tempted to hide out in Nick’s master bedroom until he left for work again. Give herself more time to regain her composure. It was amazing how much she’d made it through without falling apart, when now every tiny bump in the road seemed to send the apple cart of her emotions nearly tumbling to the ground.
She took a deep breath and let herself out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Nick stood across the hall in the doorway of his bedroom. He wore his dark uniform and looked like every fantasy she’d ever had come to life.
“I’m fine,” she lied.
He held out a hand. “Come here.”
Brynn felt like an emotional kamikaze as she moved forward, but right now she didn’t have the strength to say no. The truth was she wanted the comfort. She wanted someone to tell her things would turn out all right because she desperately needed to believe it.
Christmas was in a couple of weeks. If ever there were a season for a miracle, Brynn could use one.
Nick drew her into the room, then wrapped her in his warm embrace. “I use the word fine when I mean the opposite,” he said against the top of her head.
She breathed in the scent of him. “You never were great at grammar.”
His laugh rumbled through her, loosening some of her anxiety.
“I feel so stupid,” she admitted. “It isn’t as if I don’t know that Francesca could return and claim her baby. Honest to goodness, sometimes I log on to my email with my breath held and one eye squeezed shut. But every day, I believe more surely that Remi is supposed to be mine.” She lifted her gaze to Nick’s. “I’m broken, and it feels like that little girl is what’s going to put me back together.”
“You aren’t broken,” he said, smoothing a hand over her face. “You’re totally together.”
“That’s what I want people to see.” She bit down on her lower lip. “It’s the role I play for Tyler. But inside I’m like a pile of smoldering ash. A shadow of who I want to be.”
His brows drew together. “I don’t believe it. Look at what you’ve done with your life since the summer. The job at the mill and going on dates.”
“I bought new underwear,” she said with a sniff.
“Right. Lots of changes.”
“But something was missing...”
“Your old granny panties?”
Brynn choked out a laugh. “I never wore granny panties, just the regular five-pack of cotton bikinis.”
He grinned, then blew out a strangled breath. “We need to stop talking about your undergarments. Tell me what was missing.”
“Remi,” Brynn answered simply. “As soon as I read Francesca’s note, I knew that baby belonged with Tyler and me.”
“There’s no reason to believe she won’t end up with you. No one has heard from Francesca. Based on how she seemed that first night at your house and her letter, she knows she isn’t capable of raising a child.”
Brynn nodded, wanting to believe him. “I know I’m borrowing trouble, but Remi already feels like mine. I don’t know how to turn off my feelings for her, and yet if things don’t turn out...”
“Then we’ll get through it. Remember, you’re not alone.”
“I’ve always felt alone.” She swallowed. “It still boggles my mind that I was married to a man for ten years and yet feel like I spent the past decade on my own.”
“Brynn, I know I’ve said it before, but I’m sorry I pushed you toward Daniel back in high school. I have a stockpile of regrets in my life, but none as big as that one.”
“It’s not your regret to have.” She could see the guilt in his gaze. She didn’t want that. “I made the choice. No one forced me into it.”
>
“There are so many things about that time I’d change. How I treated you.” He sighed. “The way I acted with my family, especially Jack. If I hadn’t been such a joker, maybe he wouldn’t have felt like he had to be the perfect son to make up for it. Maybe he wouldn’t have enlisted and then—”
“Hush.” She hugged him closer. “You can’t take responsibility for the choices your brother made any more than mine. We’re quite a pair at the moment, both of us repenting for things we had no control over.”
He turned his head into hers, and she felt more than heard his deep inhale, his face pressed against her skin. Then his lips touched the sensitive place behind her ear, and goose bumps erupted along her neck.
“Nick,” she whispered, half moan and half plea.
“We’re a pair,” he repeated, his mouth moving along her jaw.
Then it was fused to hers and she lost herself in the feel of him, the barrage of sensations.
“I’m not going alone this time,” she told him, as she broke the embrace. “Together or it stops now.”
He raised a brow. “You’d say no to that kind of pleasure?”
“I want that.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “Definitely. But I want it with you, Nick. I don’t want you to worry about hurting me or to consider what’s going to happen after Christmas. I want—need—to feel something.”
“Me, too,” he said softly and her heart, along with other parts of her body, leaped with joy.
Brynn’s teenage crush on Nick seemed like a million years in the past. So much had happened to both of them, and right now she was grateful for the passing of time.
Because Brynn was no longer the infatuated schoolgirl who got tongue-tied and flustered at the drop of a hat. She was a woman, a mother, and she had enough experience in life to appreciate a moment like this without reservation.
They tugged on each other’s clothes, the sensations swirling through her both familiar and new. She loved the feel of his skin against hers and the way he lowered her to the bed with the gentlest movement. He lavished attention on every part of her body until she trembled with need.
His Last-Chance Christmas Family Page 13
