by Ella M. Lee
His eyes went to me, and I thought I saw some amount of relief in them when he found me quiet and on my best behavior. I gave him a tiny wave, and he narrowed his eyes before turning away.
I watched him as he went about his life. He dressed. He stacked up a bunch of books and moved them to a shelf, uncluttering most of the living room surfaces. He made his bed. He pulled the shades all the way up. He brought out a laptop and briefly typed on it. He glanced at me occasionally, although he largely did his best to ignore my presence.
My eyes continued to track him as he went to the kitchen. He swiftly set a frying pan on the stove and turned on the imposing-looking gas burner under it. He then removed a covered tray from the fridge and set a pot of water on to boil.
I stood and edged closer. He was washing leafy green vegetables in the sink now, eyeing the pan. He had the speed and competent motions of someone very comfortable cooking, and I was getting an understanding of his movement and grace from watching him.
I leaned over to see the tray he had uncovered. It held rows of perfectly shaped dumplings, their edges crimped impeccably.
“You made these, right?” I asked. “They were my dinner last night, and they were excellent.”
His eyes slid to me briefly and warily. “Yeah. Thanks. I like to cook. That’s what I did before I joined Water.”
“You were a cook?” I asked.
“Yeah, basically,” he said. He didn’t elaborate; he merely turned away from me and continued his work.
“Feels like a long time ago now,” he said, pouring oil into the pan. It was pretty clear he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t respond.
Five years, Nicolas had said.
Daniel had been in Water as long as I had been in Flame, and he’d been working under a more demanding commander. Jeremiah would never have charged into my apartment and dumped a captive from another clan on me for the day. Daniel either really loved or really feared Nicolas. I was inclined to believe Nicolas when he said it was love.
My eyes continue to follow his thin hands as he cooked the dumplings and vegetables. Between steps, he pulled out a bowl and started pouring various sauces into it, whisking them together with a set of chopsticks.
“Are you from Hong Kong?” I asked, sick of the awkward silence and trying for the most neutral topic I could imagine.
“Yeah,” he said, his eyes flicking to mine. “I have lived here my whole life.”
“It’s really lovely,” I said, studying the view out the windows. “Sort of wild, with all the green mountains and the modern buildings right next to them.”
He smiled tensely at my statement like he couldn’t help himself. “I love places like Tokyo and Paris and London, but they don’t feel right to me. It’s not the same without the mountains and the ocean right at the edges.”
So he’s human, I thought, with real human emotions. Daniel loved Nicolas, and he loved his home. I could understand those things.
I watched him take two bowls and fill them with rice from his rice cooker. To the bowls, he added the boiled vegetables and the crispy dumplings.
“I hope you’re hungry,” he said, finishing the bowls by pouring the sauce over them.
“I know better than to refuse a home-cooked meal,” I said, trying to smile.
He handed me one of the bowls and a set of chopsticks, ushering me back into the living room politely. I took a seat on his couch, and he hesitated.
“May I sit next to you?” he asked, and I recalled Nicolas’s instructions that Daniel should not even so much as get near me without permission.
I rolled my eyes. “Sure. I don’t know why Nicolas said you should ask. He certainly puts his hands on me whenever he damn well pleases.”
Daniel exhaled sharply in amusement. “Do you think a man who can read minds understands boundaries?”
“I suppose not,” I said as Daniel took a seat near me.
“Where do you come from?” he asked.
“I live in Toronto,” I said. “Well, I actually live in Markham, right nearby, but the clan house is in Toronto.”
He hesitated. “You’re Canadian?”
“No,” I said. “I’m American. I grew up in Nebraska and went to college there, but I moved to Toronto when I joined Flame.”
“Nebraska?” he echoed. I could tell he didn’t really know where that was. “What’s there?”
“Not much, really. Corn. It’s all farm country. I grew up on a farm. But it’s pretty in its own way—the fields just go on for miles until they reach the horizon.”
“Interesting,” he said.
The word sounded a little hollow and distant. He wasn’t as good at faking politeness as Nicolas was, but I could forgive him for that because his food was delicious. The dumplings were as great as I remembered from the previous night. I was glad that I suddenly had an appetite. We ate in silence. I stared out the window at the sunny day. It was beautiful, but the sight saddened me.
Hong Kong was my new home, if I survived. Nicolas had told me there were two options: join him or finish out my death sentence. If I joined him, I would be bound to this clan house. Everything I had built for myself in the past five years was gone. This was the replacement—this foreign city, this clan, this group, with Daniel as my lieutenant.
Was Daniel thinking the same thing? Was he wondering exactly who fate had stuck him with? It was a change to his life too, even if it wasn’t as drastic as my change. I was surprised that he was making an effort at all to be polite.
When he had finished eating, he sat back and closed his eyes. I thought he would ignore me, but his next words surprised me.
“Tell me what happened in Vienna,” he said.
I froze, my whole body feeling as though it had been doused in ice water.
“Didn’t Nicolas already do that?” I asked hesitantly.
His dark eyes opened and met mine. “Yeah, but I want to hear it from your point of view.”
I hesitated, unsure what to say. How could I describe that operation to my enemy? Not only that, but to a person I had wronged? I had attacked his group, killed one of his groupmates. I didn’t know how I could face him with my words or how he could bear to hear my description of the events.
“Why do you care?” I asked, stalling.
“I like data and information,” he said. “I want to know more about you. You should be grateful. No one else in my group will bother asking. So tell me what you think I should hear.”
I stared into my teacup, trying to piece together a narrative. I started out vague, glossing over the details of our planning. When I got to the fight, I stumbled through it step by step, my voice trembling as I described Violet’s death and my battle against Andres.
Daniel’s serious expression only changed to interested surprise when I got to the part where I had tried to fight off my guards and Nicolas had tackled me to the ground in wolf form.
I finished up by describing Nicolas’s offer to me—that I could maybe save my own life if I behaved. I didn’t admit how skeptical I was that I was going to make it out of this alive. I also mentioned our harrowing encounters with Derek and Si-Yi, hoping to get more information about them from Daniel.
“Derek,” Daniel said, his tone dark. “He’s a pain in the ass. And Si-Yi, what a bitch.”
I cracked a smile, unable to help myself. He had called her a bitch just like I had. “Does Nicolas have a lot of enemies here?” I asked.
“No,” Daniel said. “Only a few. But he’s more powerful than all of them, so it hardly matters. Derek is a piece of shit, and no one annoys Nico more than he does.”
“No wonder Nicolas seemed to like needling him so much.”
It was Daniel’s turn to crack a smile. I was happy to see he didn’t mind my weak attempt at casual conversation. I was also glad to hear even more confirmation of how powerful Nicolas was here. Commander, council member, wielder of incredible magic. Loved by some, hated by some, but that went with the territory in a clan.
Daniel put his hands to his face again, thoughtful.
“You didn’t make a lot of decisions for yourself in Flame, did you?” he asked suddenly.
“No. That’s not really my style, or how my group works. Former group, I guess. I’m not part of Flame anymore. I took orders that were given to me and executed them. Usually they were less dangerous.”
“It’s hard to blame you for what happened when you barely knew what you were doing,” he said condescendingly.
I frowned. “Don’t let me off the hook so easily,” I said, my voice shaking. “There were consequences to my actions, and I have to live with them. I’ve never wanted to kill anyone, and I’m sorry for Andres’s death. I’m sorry I hurt your group. You may not believe me, but it’s true.”
Daniel’s serious, intense expression made him unreadable. I had no idea what he thought of my story or my apology. He studied me for several seconds, his eyes narrowed.
“I believe you,” he said. “I like that you are so frank about your involvement. Not everyone in a clan—especially not this one—would show regret. If I were you, I’d be proud of myself for that.”
Despite my best attempts to stay calm, tears filled my eyes. I didn’t know if they were from relief or stress or just sheer exhaustion.
“Oh, uh,” Daniel said, his eyes widening in alarm. “Please don’t cry.”
I pressed my palms to my face, trying to quell my crying. I really didn’t want to fall apart in front of Daniel of all people.
“Hey,” he said. He crept the slightest bit closer to me, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
He touched my shoulder lightly with one delicate hand. I jumped at his touch, and he pulled back quickly. It was so hard to speak, to tell him anything about my grief or my fears or my regret. I barely knew him, but I had affected his life, and I owed him some sort of offering for that.
Eventually, I said the only words that seemed like they’d be able to leave my throat.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish none of this had happened. I hate loss of any kind, and now I’m drowning in it.”
I wiped my eyes with my sleeves and studied him out of the corner of my eye. His lips were twisted into a sad frown. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his expression was softer. He reached a hand out and hesitated carefully before touching my shoulder again, his look questioning. This time, I didn’t shrug him off.
He cleared his throat. “You’re okay. Can you take a few deep breaths for me?”
I did as he asked, counting each of my tremulous breaths. My shaking subsided a tiny bit. I was definitely falling apart, and I didn’t know why he was trying to hold me together.
“I can’t see the future like Nicolas can,” Daniel said, “but he told me to take care of you, so you’re safe for today. Relax.”
I desperately wanted to believe him. Would it be so crazy if I trusted him, at least a tiny bit? I had no idea what I had said to earn his kindness, but I was grateful for it.
“Why are you being so nice? Shouldn’t you be angry with me?” I asked between my slow breaths.
“Probably, but I understand what happened. You had a mission, you executed it.”
He paused.
“Andres and I weren’t friends. Part of the same family—as my group calls ourselves—but not close. If anything, we were rivals. It’s hard not to be a little competitive when working for Nicolas,” he said. “I’m not cold-hearted. I can’t watch you cry over what happened and not feel bad for you. I see that you feel guilty and responsible, that you’re in pain. I can’t stand watching people in pain. I have this dumb instinct to try and help them.”
“Pain is a private experience,” I said, breathing fast to quell the threat of more tears.
He studied me, his expression frank and serious. He removed his hand from my shoulder. “Don’t mistake pain being solitary for healing being solitary,” he said, tilting his head at me.
I blinked at him, surprised. The statement was introspective and deep. Maybe there was more to Daniel than I had initially seen.
“How is it possible that you are Nicolas’s lieutenant? He’s intimidating, and you’re not,” I said.
Daniel laughed lightly. “He’s not so bad. We balance one another out. I know him pretty well after five years. Nicolas has some odd ways of working. You may feel weird about this situation, but it’s very like him to act this way. The mind-reading and visions make him a little… What is the word? Like… hard to understand.”
“Inscrutable?” I suggested. The librarian in me couldn’t let that go without making a suggestion.
He shrugged. “Yeah? He’s always five steps ahead of the rest of us. He’s been like that as long as I’ve known him. I guess I’m used to it now, since I was raised by him.”
“Are you actually as young as you look?” I asked.
“I’m nineteen,” he said with another shrug. “Is that young?”
“I’m twenty-nine,” I said. “So… yes.”
I studied him. Daniel had been clanned when he was fourteen or fifteen and then immediately made lieutenant to one of the Water’s most powerful and dangerous commanders. It would be a mistake to let my guard down with him. He was no doubt incredibly smart and capable and deadly.
He had a deep well of stillness and calm that felt a lot like Nicolas, and I had zero doubts he was competent. Nicolas didn’t seem like he tolerated mediocrity or flakiness or failure.
I refilled both our teacups, watching Daniel carefully. I was looking for any signs that his personality would shift back to the temperamental kid who had hit me after I needled him the other day. I didn’t want to be caught off guard if he suddenly decided to be less kind to me.
“What now?” I asked.
Daniel sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Hell if I know. I had a million things to do today, and that’s all screwed up now. I can probably still manage to get some stuff done if you can refrain from having a breakdown on me.”
This time, I rolled my eyes at him. “You aren’t that scary, you know.”
“Would you like me to fix that?” he asked.
I shook my head, amused. I was fairly sure he was just teasing me. I took our empty bowls back into the kitchen and refilled the teapot from his water boiler. Daniel watched me carefully.
“Are you a dancer?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Figure skater, actually, but I get that question a lot.”
“Huh. I read the report on Vienna. You’re a good fighter. That will be useful if you join this group. Nicolas requires all of his magicians to be good in combat.”
“This may come as a surprise, but I’m not usually a combat magician,” I said.
“No?” he asked, amused.
“This was my first assassination operation,” I said. “I told you, I’m a librarian. I mostly do work for Flame’s library and archives.”
“Yeah, research,” he said. “That will also be useful with Nicolas.”
“He’s a scientist of some kind, isn’t he?” I asked. “I know he comes from Smoke.”
“He doesn’t do much science stuff anymore,” Daniel said. “He’s too busy with commanding and clan politics and strategy and stuff the rest of us hate.”
“Yeah, Flame has all that bureaucracy too.”
My heart ached thinking of my former clan. My group in Flame was essentially ruined, with four of the seven of us killed or captured in the raid. I hoped the others would be okay.
“Okay, Fi, let’s go,” Daniel said, clapping his hands together once and startling me from my thoughts. “Do you mind me calling you Fi?”
I was eager to keep him in a good mood. “Nicolas said we should be friends, and my friends called me Fi.”
He smiled, and this one seemed more genuine and natural. He stood and gestured for me to get up.
“You know the rules, right?” he asked as we exited the apartment and went to the elevator. He reached toward me—again, hesitantly�
��and I offered him my hand.
“Yeah, no talking, no disobeying, don’t even so much as look at anything for too long,” I recited primly.
He grimaced. “I know it sucks,” he said, bringing me through the shield into the elevator and pressing the button for the thirty-eighth floor. “I remember hating it too.”
“What?” I asked.
His eyes slid to mine. “Didn’t Nicolas tell you? Before he clanned me, I was his slave. I had to obey all the same rules as you.”
I froze, surprised. I was about to open my mouth, to ask him to explain more because I wanted to know his story. Was this why Nicolas had said we were alike? Why he had thought Daniel could warm up to me in time?
“Shhh, Fi,” Daniel said as the elevator door opened. “If you’re good, I’ll tell you the rest later.”
I sighed as he took my wrist in his hand once again and towed me behind him.
Chapter 16
Daniel’s first stop was the front desk of the library.
“Daniel!” The short, petite brunette behind the desk seemed excited to see him. “You’re here early today.”
“Yeah, I’m not happy about that,” he replied dryly. “I got a notification that my books arrived.”
“Samuel brought them in himself from Vancouver this morning. Do you have any idea why he’s here?” she asked.
Her eyes went to me briefly, confused, but she didn’t inquire about my presence.
“Nico is back in town. They are in planning meetings,” Daniel said as the brunette dug in a cabinet behind the counter for something.
“Nicolas is back?” she repeated, her eyes wide. “Oh, good. David Thiessen has been looking for him.”
“Are he and Jacks here today?” Daniel asked, watching her set three books on the counter.
“No idea about Jacks,” she said, sounding apologetic. “Are these correct?”
He picked up each book, flipped through them, and checked each copyright page for the date. All three had blank covers, and I couldn’t see their bindings.
“Yeah, perfect,” he said. “Do we have this one in the original Chinese?”
