“I’m sure she’s hideous and bitchy and whiny,” Helena tells me without any real malice but as any good friend should.
I giggle at her comment. “Nice try, Hel, but have you seen Isaac?” I grin.
She mirrors me smiling, even though she’s only ever seen him in photos. “Dammit, you’re right. He’ll have his pick of women, and no way is he going to choose a whiny, bitchy moose.”
I laugh, but it’s scratchy sounding as it travels up my tight through and leaves my mouth. My brain flashes through a picture book of mental images—ones of Isaac with other girls.
Helena moves to me and wraps one arm around my neck pulling my head under her chin. She gives me a quick hug and ruffles my short hair before releasing me. This is progress for her. She doesn’t do physical emotion, not the sappy stuff anyway.
“Come on, less talk about dickbrain—”
“Dickbrain?” I cut her off with my question.
She nods. “Uh-huh, dickbrain. If he can’t see how amazing you are, and then there’s the fact he won’t even speak to you… dickbrain,” she tells me shrugging and crossing her arms.
I smile.
“So, tattoo time, what are you having?” She claps her hands together excitedly. You wouldn’t think she had tattooed me twenty-seven times before.
I look away from her. I don’t want to see her disappointment as I tell her what I want. “Here,” I say pointing to my ribs on the left side next to my heart. “I want Owning Worthless in script with a bird in a cage next to it,” I tell her softly.
“Are you fucking joking?” she explodes.
“Don’t, Hel, okay? It’s what I want. Just fucking do it, or I’ll find another tattooist who will,” I reply, my voice tight. I don’t like arguing with her, and I will find someone else to do it if I need to, but I hate the idea of anyone but Helena tattooing my skin.
She sighs and rubs her temples. “For fuck’s sake, why? Why would you want a tattoo permanently on your skin that says you’re owning being worthless? You’re not fucking worthless, you dipshit!” she argues.
“Ahhh!” I shout. “I knew it wasn’t a good idea coming to you. I should have gone to someone else.”
Helena gasps and her eyes widen as her hand rushes up to cover her mouth. “You would let someone else ink you?” she whispers.
I roll my eyes at her melodramatic ways. However, I know she means what she says, and that if I did go somewhere else, it would really hurt her.
“Please,” I whisper solemnly. “I need this.”
“Can you take a day? Come back tomorrow, and think about having something else. For me?” She grabs my hands in hers and stares at me. “I’m asking you this as my friend. I don’t want you to go somewhere else. I will tattoo this for you, but I’d really like you to take a day, think about it, see if there is something else you could be persuaded to do instead. Please?” she begs.
I sigh and let my head drop back. “God! Okay. Tomorrow I want you to tattoo whatever the hell I want, though,” I demand pulling my hands from hers and crossing my arms over my chest.
She nods. “Sure. I promise.”
I look at the time and rub my hands together. It’s just after nine p.m. and it’s cold. I’m waiting for Helena to get Holly as I stand outside Holly’s flat. I decided to stay here because Holly is always running late, and I know if I’m waiting downstairs, it will be an incentive for her to hurry, but damn, it’s freezing. I’m wearing the tightest jeans I own. They stop at my hip bones and along with a ripped crop top—which is exposing my stomach—I’m not dressed to keep out the cold. I try to pull my leather jacket around me, but it doesn’t make any difference to my nipples which are pointing like bullets. I kick at a stone with my six-inch heeled, black ankle boots and groan.
“Hey, sorry.” Holly puffs as both she and Helena rush out of the flats’ communal entrance. Helena has a tight red dress on with rips all down the side of it and her black DM boots. Holly is wearing a short maroon leather skirt, which matches her knee high boots, with a black and white striped top. Her hair is red today. Holly dyes her hair a different colour every week. The nose ring is new, though.
“Hair looks good, Hols,” I tell her as we start walking.
“Cheers Liv. Still got the platinum pixie thing going on with yours I see,” she says pointing to my short hair. “You should seriously consider extensions. I told you I’ll do them for nothing, just let the girls you work with know that you got yours from me,” she says with a smile and a wink.
Ever since I cut my long hair short, she’s been encouraging me to get extensions done. Holly works at a salon in town, but she freelances hoping to have her own business one day. Honestly, I’ve been seriously thinking about having her give me my long hair back, as I miss it.
“Okay Hols, let me call you tomorrow and we can sort out a time for you to come over to my place and do it,” I tell her as she beams at me.
We arrive at Jesters ten minutes later. It’s a club we frequent so the bouncers know us. They nod and smile allowing us immediate access inside. I hear people groan, but I ignore it as I slip through the doors and straight over to Maggie, the lady at the coat check.
“Evening princess,” the older woman says with a lazy grin on her heavily made-up face.
“Hey Maggie, just this tonight please,” I reply, shrugging off my leather jacket and handing it to her with a smile.
She hands a piece of paper to me, which I promptly tuck in my bra. “Have fun!” she calls as we walk away.
As soon as I hit the first club room and hear the music pumping, my body starts swaying.
“Go,” Helena says pointing to the dance floor. I glance at her. “Go on… Hols and I will grab a drink at the bar, maybe a hot guy too.”
Holly giggles at Helena’s words.
I bite my lip and wonder whether I should abandon my friends after less than thirty seconds in the club. Then the music changes to Sigma, ‘Nobody to Love,’ and I can’t resist. I move onto the dance floor and close my eyes feeling the beat but also hearing the words. My body moves without instruction—it’s like the rhythm comes directly from the tune playing and connects to me. At that moment I’m anyone and everyone, I’m life and love and freedom. The music, the dancing—it lets me be me, it reminds me who I am, and all the negative feelings dissipate. I only feel like this in the moment, but wish I could hold onto this free feeling I have when I’m dancing, for the rest of the time.
The song has barely finished when there’s a tap on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see the stares of people watching me. It doesn’t surprise me as it often happens, only because I’m a dancer, and these people see what I’ve been trained to do. If there was another dancer in here and I spotted them, I would also stop to watch. I look behind me and see the tap came from Helena.
“Hey, we’re going upstairs to find somewhere to sit. You coming?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I nod my head. “But, I’ll only come up with you to see where you’re sitting, then I’m going into the other room.”
“’Kay,” Helena replies, and I follow her off the floor.
One of the reasons we always come to this club is because there are numerous rooms and each one plays a different type of music. You want rock, you got it. Dance, they have it. Hip hop, yep, you’ll find it here. I love all music, and dancing to whatever moves me in the moment, which is why I like this place.
I follow them upstairs and they’re lucky to find a table. Once I know they’re settled I leave, heading back downstairs. Moving from room to room, I lose myself for a couple of hours. After three songs in a row that I don’t really like, I decide to go back to the girls. I grab a bottle of water from the bar on the way through.
As I walk toward the table, I can see they have company—a couple of guys sit with their backs to me. I hesitate, but I can see Helena is slightly turned away from the men, like she’s uncomfortable, so I push forward. Helena spots me as I reach the table, her eyes widen, and she shakes her head ginger
ly. My pulse picks up speed, and I worry about what could possibly be wrong. The moment I realise why she’s uncomfortable, my knees buckle, and I stumble backwards clutching my stomach like I’ve repeatedly been punched. My heart aches, and I wrap my hand around my throat gasping for air, trying to gain some composure. But it’s no use, my feet take me backwards, and I bump into someone—a man. He grasps my hips, and I hear him mutter something, but it doesn’t register. All I see is the face I’ve missed for years—the one who didn’t want to see me, the one I’ve tried to forget about, without success.
“Via,” I hear him say my name, it’s all I hear as I try to ignore the way his eyes eat me up, just like they did that night. Seeing him is all I’ve wanted, but now that he’s here, I’m overwhelmed and confused.
“No,” I whisper as shock takes over and dictates my actions. I’m helpless to stop myself as I turn and run out of the club. I leave my jacket. I leave my friends. I leave Isaac.
ISAAC
“Fuck!” I snap between clenched teeth.
It was her.
After all this time.
Like a mirage, she was finally in front of me, and all I could do was stare until she ran away. Still, seeing her allows me to breathe again. Via frees the constraints I’ve placed upon myself throughout the years.
I can feel the drumming of my heart which is ramming against my chest like it’s trying to break free. A whooshing noise pounds in my ears and blood races around my body as adrenaline surges. There have been times over the last few years that I’ve been in trouble, when I have needed to fight, and on occasion, it has felt like my body was in a constant state of an adrenaline rush, but never like this. There’s something that Olivia McKenna has always been able to do to me, something no one else ever has. She makes me feel alive. No matter what my life has brought, what shit I’ve faced, she’s the one person who can awaken me, give me hope, and help me to see things in a different light. I’m a better version of myself when I’m around her. And that’s exactly why I’ve stayed away for so long.
“You expected a different outcome?” The words are snarled at me by the tiny raven-haired badass across the table. I want to smile, she’s cute riled up as fuck, but I don’t because this isn’t the least bit funny. She’s protecting her friend, my friend… my Via. She’s protecting her which should have been my job.
“No,” I answer, my usual stoic response giving nothing away, just as I’ve been trained not to.
“Let me ask you something, Isaac,” she spits my name out like it tastes bad in her pouty mouth. I stare at her coolly, as she rolls her eyes. “Why did you come here?”
I don’t answer her. I can’t answer her because the truth is I don’t know why I came here. No, that’s a lie. I came here because I wanted to see Via, but the moment I saw her I knew nothing had changed. I can’t be what she wants, I’m no good for her, and I need to man the fuck up and stay out of her life. Like I’ve done for the past few years. Without saying a word, I turn and walk away ignoring the cussing from the badass, and instead, internally curse myself for being a weak-willed pussy and coming back here.
“Fuck me,” I groan as the morning light burns my eyes.
“Hmmm, again baby?” The raspy voice reminds me that I brought a woman home last night. I close my eyes knowing that unfortunately she won’t disappear. But as her hand finds my morning wood and starts working me up and down, I keep my eyelids locked tight and let myself enjoy the moment. I don’t remember her name, it doesn’t matter though, when I close my eyes all I ever see is Via. I jerk out of my trance when her sloppy mouth sucks me in—now it’s time for me to take over. If she gets me off, then she’ll expect me to do the same and considering ten minutes ago—when I realised she was still here—I was going to call her a cab and kick her arse out, the last thing I want to do is bury my face in her pussy.
No. I pull away. Before she has a chance to speak, I flip her over, hastily pulling on a condom and smashing into her from behind. It’s my favoured position, that way I don’t see their faces. Grunting, I give the woman whose hole I’m using little thought as I slam back and forth. I think I might even call out Via at one point. The good thing about my nickname for Olivia is that few people realise it’s a name, so when I have slipped up and used it, I can pass it off as something else. I’m getting close to blowing my load, and I need this bitch to get off and quick. Reaching around to her tits, I pinch her nipple, and she screams. That’s when I feel it—sweet bliss as her pussy clamps around me throbbing and bringing me to release. I stay still for a moment letting my racing heart calm.
When I realise she isn’t moving I drag myself up, striding into the bathroom and pulling off the rubber. I catch my reflection in the mirror and stare for a moment. My eyes are empty these days. I turn on the taps and splash my face, then grab a flannel letting warm water run over it. Sighing, I pull on the spare joggers I keep on the towel rack and walk back out. She’s still sprawled on the bed facing me now, and I couldn’t place her if my life depended on it. I pass her the flannel, hoping it will make me seem like less of a dick.
“Thanks, baby,” she purrs.
“No problem. Listen, I need to shoot, you want me to call you a cab?” I ask.
I see the question in her eyes and pray I’m not going to have a hissy fit coming my way. I can usually sense those women and avoid them at all costs, but I barely remember last night or how I ended up with this one, so I’ve no idea what I’m dealing with. Still, I could always knock on Shelly’s door for some help if I need it.
“Naa, that’s okay, I’m gonna bounce.” She smiles.
I feel sweet relief and pull my laptop out pretending to busy myself while she gets dressed.
“Well, I had fun.” She shrugs. “Maybe we could do this again?”
I glance up knowing this could go one of two ways. “No.”
She smirks. “Bye, baby.” Then leaves, and I clench my jaw. I was lucky, this time she was like me, obviously just in it for a quick fuck and no expectations—those women are rare, and I’m usually careful. A whole thirty seconds in Via’s presence, and I’m fucked all over again.
LIV
“Come on, it’s been two fucking days.”
“Ugh.” I shove my head under the pillow and try to block out Helena’s voice.
“How much alcohol have you consumed since Saturday night?” she asks with a tut.
“Leave me alone,” I complain, whining.
“Like fuck,” she responds. Helena swears a lot, but when she gets angry, her swear word to normal word ratio gets skewed heavily on the former side of the scale.
“Really? You’re going to kick my arse out of bed?”
“Yes. Stop sulking. The dickbrain isn’t worth it. Anyway, we have work tonight.”
I peek out from under my pillow at the wrong time. I’m staring straight at the window and only get a glimpse of Helena’s back before she rips open my curtains, and the light terrorises me. I’m momentarily blinded.
“God, it smells like a skunk had a bar fight in here,” she complains, opening all my windows. I drag my duvet tighter around my shoulders and snuggle back down under my pillow, barely lasting ten seconds before she rips my cocoon away from my body.
I lay still, knowing I can’t fight her anymore. She was good and gave me two days, two longer than she wanted to give me, I’m sure.
“Fine,” I grumble throwing my arm across my face.
“Finally, I’m getting through to you. I’ll wait in the living room, there has to be something compelling on TV. You go shower. Now,” she demands. I open one eye from under my arm and watch as she gathers up my duvet.
“What are you doing?” I croak.
She stops and frowns at me. “You think I’m leaving you alone with this baby? Umm, no. Now hurry up!” She stalks out of my room dragging my poor duvet with her.
The minute she’s gone, I sit up and search for my phone. I let out a relieved breath when I find it down the side of my mattress. Squeezing
my eyes together, I’m not sure I want to look at it. I know I sent a text to Isaac while I was sharing my bed with JD yesterday. Dropping my head slightly, I peer down at the floor and yeah, there’s an empty bottle, I drank it all. “Sorry JD, it was good while it lasted… I think,” I whisper to the clear glass and rub the back of my head.
I can’t put it off anymore. I need to see what I sent and if he responded.
“I can’t hear the shower in there!” Helena shouts through the flat, making me chuckle.
“I’m getting there, now shut up,” I reply. I’m surprised I don’t have a raging hangover. A nearly full bottle of whiskey has made my memory blurry, but I don’t feel unwell, just tired.
Grinding my teeth I grab my mobile, but when I check it the battery’s dead, and I can’t decide whether I’m relieved or upset. Sighing, I plug it in to charge and go into my en-suite bathroom. It sounds fancy, but it’s not. Still, it has all I need, and while I wait for the shower to warm, I turn on my iPod dock and press shuffle. I step under the stream of water as Janet Jackson comes over the speakers with ‘Again’—it’s like she’s detailing my life story.
Closing my eyes, I duck under the water and sing quietly along to the words. I inherited my mother’s talent, but few people know that. Mum shines when it comes to singing. I’m not her, and I don’t want to be. I think when I was younger I wanted to be separate from my parents as much as possible because of the tight rein they tried to keep on me, so I never sang for them. Thankfully, they never picked up on my voice. My focus was always dancing anyway and I spent hours in Aunt Soph’s studio perfecting my routines. Nobody questioned whether I was good at anything else, seemingly one talent is enough in this family. I wonder what skills Isaac has these days, because I know he’s not a single source of talent.
Twisted Truth (Truth Vs Lie Book 1) Page 3
