by Cat Schield
“Yes.”
“You look familiar.” The blonde puckered her pink lips as her expression grew thoughtful. “But I know all of Oliver’s friends, and I’m sure we’ve never met.”
Sammi scrutinized the attractive blonde and wondered if this was one of Oliver’s former lovers or someone he’d photographed. Maybe both?
“That’s probably because we’ve only known each other a few weeks,” Sammi said.
“Are you two dating?” The woman had been sizing up Sammi in turn, evaluating her fashion choice through narrowed green eyes.
Unsure how to answer, Sammi sent her gaze darting toward the French doors in the hope that Oliver might come looking for her and broadcasted a silent plea for rescue.
“We’re friends,” she explained, hoping the careful answer would satisfy the woman’s curiosity.
“Of course. Oliver doesn’t date.” The blonde went on as if Sammi hadn’t spoken. “Lots of women have tried and failed to hold his interest. Once he gets you all figured out, he tends to move on.”
Sammi thought about that photograph that he’d never taken of her and her belief that her appeal would be diminished once his curiosity was satisfied. When he’d invited her to move in, he gave her clear reasons why this would benefit them both. But that was before they’d rekindled their physical relationship. Was she a fool to think that sex would add dimension to his purpose for keeping her around? Could he develop feelings for her that had nothing to do with the fact that she was expecting his child?
The familiar scent of Oliver’s cologne brushed her senses as a tuxedo jacket settled over her bare shoulders. She gathered the lapels together, her skin tingling as Oliver’s muscular frame became a solid presence at her side. The blonde’s eyes went wide as his strong arm enfolded Sammi in a warm embrace.
“Hello, Bianca,” he said. “I see you and Sammi have met.”
“Sammi?” the blonde echoed, arching one eyebrow.
“Samantha Guzman,” Sammi said, supplying her full name.
“I was just asking her if you two are dating,” Bianca said, sending a crafty smile Oliver’s way.
“And what did she say?” Oliver’s fingers tightened in warning as Sammi drew in a sharp breath.
Bianca focused all her energy on Oliver, acting as if Sammi had ceased to exist. “I’m more interested in what you’d say.”
While he appeared unimpressed by the blonde’s games, Sammi was vibrating with dismay. She and Oliver should’ve coordinated their answers to the tricky questions that were sure to come their way. Still, she caught herself holding her breath in anticipation of what Oliver’s answer might reveal.
“You know I don’t talk about my personal business,” Oliver said, neatly dodging the question. “But if you’re wondering whether I’m off the market, then the answer is yes.”
A mild earthquake rocked Sammi’s equilibrium at Oliver’s claim, leaving her a little dizzy. But then she noticed Bianca’s scowl and understood that he’d intended to discourage the beautiful socialite.
“Have you ever been on the market?” Sammi murmured, filling her tone with ironic humor as Bianca left them alone on the terrace.
His offhanded shrug admitted nothing. “What did you tell her about our relationship?”
“That we’re friends.” When he stiffened, nerves fluttered in her stomach. She tugged on his sleeve. “We are friends, right?”
“Is that all we are?”
Sammi quaked as his irritation flared. Wasn’t “friends” a safe answer? They hadn’t defined their relationship. What had he expected her to tell the curious woman with the sly green eyes?
“I don’t know if that’s all we are,” Sammi said, her emotions churning. “We haven’t talked about anything having to do with us.”
“I asked you to move in. Isn’t that proof that I want you in my life?”
Sammi was painfully aware that even though they were sleeping together, they were a couple by circumstance rather than choice.
“Yes, but because of the baby.” She recalled what Bianca had said about his short attention span where women were concerned. “And you asked before we slept together again. I can’t help but feel like we’re rushing into something neither one of us is ready for.”
“Is that really how you feel? Like you’re not ready for what’s happening between us?”
What was happening between them? They were fantastic in bed, but there was an indefinable something they were not willing to share with each other. They were letting sex be a substitute for intimacy.
“I think we both hold back.”
“Maybe we should talk more about this.” He glanced around. “But not here. Let’s go.”
Ten
Sammi’s words preoccupied Oliver as they said goodbye to their host and left the party. He directed their driver to take them back to his loft. Although she hadn’t officially agreed to move in, Sammi spent most nights with him. But when they reached his apartment, neither one of them was eager to talk. Instead, they ended up in his bedroom, communicating with lips and fingers as their bodies merged on his cool sheets in a rush of hungry desperation.
“That was amazing,” she groaned beneath him, her chest heaving in unruly gasps.
Oliver braced himself on his elbows and slid the tips of his fingers through the sheen of perspiration dampening her soft cheek. Nothing moved him quite as deeply as witnessing Sammi giving herself over to a powerful orgasm. They might struggle to open up to each other outside the bedroom, but the same couldn’t be said for their level of frankness while wrapped in each other’s arms. He knew exactly what she liked, what drove her wild, and she trusted him to touch her in ways no other man had.
As he rolled onto his side and shifted her so they were both lying face-to-face, he noticed that her gaze eluded his. With passion melting away, their earlier conversation came back to haunt him. That she continued to doubt their relationship made something shift in his chest. He settled his hands beneath his head and stared at her beautiful face. Less than a foot separated them, but she seemed farther away than ever. Since asking her to move in, it was as if she’d been in a full-out retreat.
Couldn’t she see that this was a huge step for him? He never imagined himself living with anyone, much less committing to being a father and immersing himself in the role. What more did she want?
He’d been counting on his offer to live with him being good enough to draw her in. Despite how brief their time together had been thus far, she was already an important fixture in his world. He thought about her all day long, missed her in the quiet moments. Most evenings he wooed her with delicious dinners or fun outings. Most nights they returned to his loft, ravenous for each other, and spent their time together lost in each other’s arms.
She had clothes in his closet and her own space in his bathroom. His refrigerator was stocked with her favorite foods, and she had a key. It was like living together, except she hadn’t changed her address or given up her apartment, even though her mother had moved out a week ago. Why was she resisting taking that next step? She used excuses like it was too fast or she didn’t want to be a bother, but when he read between the lines, she was afraid he would lose interest in her as his lover and relegate her to the role of baby mama.
Well, he’d been giving that a lot of thought and had a way to combine both roles in a way that would give her the stability she craved.
Oliver cupped her cheek in his palm and drew his thumb over her passion-bruised lips. “I think we should get married.”
Sammi’s eyes widened. “What? Why would you suggest something like that?”
Because if she was looking to slap a label on their relationship, husband and wife was the obvious choice. “It makes perfect sense.”
“Sense?” she echoed, frowning. “How so?”
“We both get something that’s important to us.”
/>
“I know what I want from a marriage. What is it you are looking for?”
“I think both of us can agree that we don’t want our child to lack for anything.”
“Of course, but we don’t need to get married for that to happen.”
“But I want us to be a family, and you’re resisting moving in here.” Although he’d never imagined himself tied down with anyone, he could see no better reason to get married than this. “It occurs to me that you need a commitment from me. So let’s get married.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re only marrying me because I’m pregnant.” From her quarrelsome tone, it seemed his justification had annoyed her.
“Is it wrong for me to want our child to have a sense of belonging that I never did?”
An almost imperceptible twitch of her eyebrow was Sammi’s only response. In fact, she was so still that he swore she’d stopped breathing.
“What do you say?” he prompted, his voice tinged with exasperation as he realized she wasn’t going to answer without prompting.
“What do you expect me to say?”
“Yes.” He punctuated the word with an impatient gesture, unable to understand why she wasn’t overjoyed at his proposal. Didn’t she understand what he was offering? He wanted to marry her. Where was the enthusiastic hug and the impassioned kiss? Why wasn’t she delighted?
What he got instead was a subdued tone and polite words. “I’m very happy that you want to be involved in our child’s life.” Her nostrils flared as she sucked in a deep breath. “But I don’t want to marry you.”
“Give me one reason why not.”
“I barely know you.” She pressed her lips together, and he wondered what else was on her mind.
“That’s not true,” he countered, thinking about everything he’d shared with her. “You know more about me than anyone.”
Her lashes flickered as she considered his words. “I’ve been in committed relationships before, but this is the first time I actually want to be in one.” When she spoke next, her voice was so low he could barely hear her. “But I’ve always imagined when I got married that it would be because we were in love.”
She used the term “we” and he knew exactly what that meant.
“Are you asking me if I love you?” Oliver’s annoyance flared as the muscles in his throat constricted. He wanted nothing to do with love. It caused nothing but pain.
“Of course not,” Sammi said, seeming determined to thrust one obstacle after another between them. “How could you? As I said earlier, we barely know each other.”
“But you won’t get married without it.” And Oliver wasn’t a man who made promises he couldn’t fulfill. “I can promise our child will be adored and supported by me.”
Why couldn’t she just be happy to be the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Couples fell in love and got married all the time. That didn’t mean they were going to make it. Wasn’t it better if they were friends who respected and lusted after each other? That the only expectations between them were honesty and fidelity? His mother loved his father and he’d betrayed and abandoned her. How was that better than what Oliver was promising Sammi?
“I just don’t get what’s the big deal,” Oliver said. “I’m willing to commit everything to you and our baby.”
“Not everything,” she argued. “Not what’s important.”
“What could possibly be more important than our child growing up having something I lacked?” He needed to make it clear that he’d never be satisfied as a part-time parent. “Something that neither one of us had. The love and support of two parents.”
Her manner grew fierce as she insisted, “We’ll give that to our child.”
“I know we will, but wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have two households?” he asked, backtracking when he realized he was letting his frustration get in the way of convincing her to marry him. “You said I’m not committed to what’s important. What do you mean by that?”
They stared at each other in silence, the energy between them a clash of inflexible wills. Oliver’s breath roughened as he fought down panic. In her eyes he saw the sort of determination that ran marathons, won gold medals and drove every underdog ever to get back to their feet after being knocked down.
“I’m falling in love with you.” She spoke the words like a prayer. “And I can’t imagine a future without you in it, but I can’t marry you unless you’re doing it for the right reasons. I need you to love me back. It’s that simple.”
She’d made her decision and showed no sign of relenting or retreat. Anger and despair clashed inside him as he realized it was up to him to decide how to move forward.
“So you won’t be happy unless I pledge my undying love for you?” His sarcastic tone made the words come out like a scathing rebuke. Oliver saw her flinch and regretted speaking so harshly. “What about moving in with me? Or are you planning to reject that offer as well?”
She squared her shoulders and met his hostility with calm resolve. “With everything you have going on with your family and what’s happening with your father, I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”
“You’re turning me down because my father’s in prison?”
“I’m turning you down,” Sammi began in soothing tones, “because since he’s come back, you’re so angry about having to confront your past.”
“So I’m angry at my father. That has nothing to do with you and me.”
“Your bitterness toward your family dominates your emotions,” she explained. “You told me you turned to drugs to escape feeling bad all the time. Yet resentment toward your brothers drives your ambition, and you avoid having anything to do with your mother unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
How could Oliver argue with her when everything she said was true? He was filled with hostility toward his family and convinced that if he cut off contact with them, he’d be happier. Only being apart from them didn’t improve his mood. Past hurts continued to bother him like a wound that never healed, and he hated that he knew no way to fix the situation.
“So what do you suggest I do?” Oliver demanded, the weight of his sulky mood lowering his tone to a growl. Despite his rebellious attitude, he desperately wanted help.
“I think you should go see your father.”
“In prison? Have you lost your mind? What possible good will that do except make him feel as if he’s won?”
Sammi regarded him in dismay. “Won? This isn’t a contest between you.”
“Isn’t it?” Oliver’s throat closed down. When he forced out his next words, his voice held bleak resignation. “All I’ve ever done is fight for my father’s recognition and approval. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him.” Oliver rubbed his face. “Going to see him will only bring up all those bad feelings. I just want him out of my life.”
“But he was out of your life, and I’m not sure it helped you.”
This time the anger that flashed through Oliver was directed at her. How dare she comment on things she knew nothing about? Sure, when Vernon had first disappeared, Oliver let his rage drive him into destructive habits, but he pulled himself out of that nosedive. And once he’d realized he had nothing left to prove with his father gone, he’d been able to focus on being successful in a way that suited him.
No longer self-destructive with the need to fail and demonstrate that his father had been right all along, Oliver had capitalized on his talents and thrived. He threw his hand out, encompassing all that surrounded him.
“All you need to do is look at my achievements to realize that’s not true.”
“Yet you can’t really say you’re content.”
“I’ve been happy with you,” Oliver said, coming as close as he could to his ever-deepening feelings for her. “And I’m excited to be a father. Why can’t you just agree to move in and be happy
with me?”
“I really want that,” Sammi admitted, her expression saying the opposite. “But all my life I’ve done things to please other people and let myself down. You’ve shown me how to be strong and stand up for what’s good for me.”
Oliver contemplated her meaning. “And you don’t think I’m good for you.”
“You are,” she assured him. “But your anger isn’t good for anyone.”
“And you think going to see Vernon will solve everything.”
“Not just seeing him,” she offered in tentative tones, “but finding a way toward forgiving him. If you can’t let go of your anger, you will always be its victim.”
Being referred to as a victim made his irritation spike. Oliver ground his teeth to contain the savage rebuttal and asked, “How am I supposed to forgive him if he doesn’t apologize? Because I’d be shocked if he takes responsibility for all he’s done.”
“Just because he hasn’t had a change of heart doesn’t mean you can’t.”
“Do you really expect me to forgive him for being a worthless human being? He didn’t give a damn about any of us when he stole millions and ran off, abandoning my mother, my brothers and me to deal with the authorities and everyone he’d cheated. Everyone blamed us because he wasn’t around to focus their anger on. It wasn’t fair. He should’ve stuck by us, but he’s a selfish bastard, incapable of thinking about anybody but himself.”
A second before his rage spun out of control, Oliver became aware of Sammi’s rising dismay and lapsed into silence. His chest heaved as he gulped in air. Over the last few minutes, his heightened emotional state illustrated why she didn’t want to be with him. He was driving a wedge between them with his anger, and if he refused to deal with it, she might leave him.
“You’re right,” he admitted, shying away from his fear of losing her. “I’m angry. But if you think going to visit my father in prison can help me deal with that, then you have no idea what I’m going through.”
