‘Please do. They are for sale, after all.’
The walls were covered with images of tigers. Most were impressionistic watercolours, the lines and colours showing a movement and life that took his breath away. ‘How do you do that,’ he said, reaching towards a blue and purple image of two tigers fighting. ‘You’ve used fantastical colours, but somehow it’s more real than a photograph.’
Tabitha smiled. ‘Thank you. That one was a commission. I’ll be posting it in the next day or two, but I wanted to show it first.’
‘Do you do a lot of commissions?’
‘Yes. That’s how I live. I’m known for painting tigers, so people come to me from all over the world. I have a waiting list two pages long and it takes me weeks to complete one large painting. The other pictures, the sketches, the pastel drawings, those are for the love of it. They still make me money, but not enough to survive on.’
Dylan stopped in front of a small pastel drawing of a white tiger. She was baring her teeth at the onlooker, her turquoise-blue eyes furious. A flicker of red and orange surrounded her pale, striped form. ‘This is her,’ he whispered. This is my tiger.’
Tabitha swallowed. ‘I’d forgotten you would recognise her.’
‘Why does she look so angry?’
‘It was Max,’ Tabitha whispered. ‘He was threatening me. That was how I felt.’
There was silence.
Dylan tried to process what she had said. That was how she had felt. How did that relate to the tiger? ‘Are you saying …?’
‘Yes,’ Tabitha whispered. She stood up. She held his gaze without flinching, but her hand shook slightly as she reached out and steadied herself on the table.
‘The tiger is your feelings? That can’t be. I wouldn’t be able to see her if that was true.’
‘She isn’t just my feelings. She is me. When I draw or paint, I astral project. I send my awareness outside of my body, and I can travel where I want without physical limitation. But when I do that, I don’t look like me. Instead I appear as a white tiger. I have always had a huge affinity with cats. They are my family. I feel closer to the cats than to people a lot of the time.’
‘So all those times I’ve been with the tiger you have been watching me?’ Dylan stared at Tabitha. She was pale. She gripped the back of her chair so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry, but every time I started drawing, I was with you. Sometimes I can control it, other times not. You send me spinning. I’ve always been like this, but with you I am at the mercy of something I don’t understand. Images tangle in my head, past, present and future, and I don’t know what’s what. I don’t know what’s real, and what’s just fear. And I don’t know why you are so important, why you haunt my every moment, waking and sleeping. My sketchbook is full of pictures of you, because every time I close my eyes, you are there. Whenever I sit down to draw or paint I have to fight to stay in my body, and it stops me drawing the cats, because I draw what I see when I travel. I know you’re probably going to hate me now, but something is going on between us. I can’t pretend to know what it is, but it’s definitely important and it’s definitely real.’
She stopped speaking, tilted her chin in the air and glared at Dylan, daring him to disagree.
Dylan stared at her. She couldn’t be. How could that be possible? Images flashed through his mind. The tiger in his mum’s living room, the tiger in the recording studio. Where else had she been? ‘I need to go.’
‘Dylan,’ Tabitha said, her voice choked.
He shook his head. ‘I’ll see you later.’ The door stuck for a moment, but he yanked it and it swung open, hard. He stumbled over the doorstep and then he was out in the fresh air, pounding towards home.
32
Tabitha
Tabitha stared at the shut door. Why had she told him? This was why she didn’t let herself get close to people. They never understood.
She wouldn’t ever forget the hurt and embarrassment in his eyes before he shut down. She was ready for him to be angry, was expecting him to shout and stamp his feet. She wasn’t ready for him to retreat.
She locked the door and put her paints away. She didn’t have the heart to work now. Pouring herself a cup of tea, she grabbed her cardigan and went upstairs to the bedroom, calling Emily through the door at the bottom of the stairs and shutting the shop out of her mind.
Upstairs, she stood at the window and looked at the flats opposite. There was a light on in one downstairs flat. She could see Rachel in there and another woman. There was no sign of Dylan. She pulled the curtains tightly closed, shutting the world out. Pulling back the duvet, she climbed in and made space for Emily.
Tabitha leaned back but the moment her consciousness drifted, she pulled herself up. Reaching for the remote, she turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. There was nothing she wanted to watch, so she settled on a property programme, hoping it wouldn’t give her any inclination to roam in tiger form.
An hour later it was still far too early for bed. She would normally have been downstairs painting, but that was off limits until she could learn to control her travelling. Something was brewing. It fizzed through every nerve in her body. She needed to paint. She needed to see what was coming, but she would not intrude on Dylan again.
There was a crash from outside.
Emily leapt off the bed and ran to the door. She hissed and her tail puffed up straight behind her.
‘What is it, sweetheart? Tabitha climbed out of bed and peered out the window. Max stood in the now-dim light of her garden path.
The owl shrieked.
Emily hissed again, louder this time. She jumped back up onto the bed and stood on the edge, glaring out the window.
Tabitha opened the window and leaned out. ‘What is it, Max? I’m not up for visitors now and the shop is closed.’
‘I’m not here as a customer. Please let me in?’
‘No. Not today. I’m sorry.’
‘But I really need to talk to you.’
‘You’d better talk quickly then.’
Max sighed so loudly Tabitha could hear it from the upstairs window.
‘Max, are you drunk?’
‘Drunk? Don’t be ridiculous,’ he said too loudly. ‘I have to drink far more than that to get drunk. Will you be at the zoo tomorrow?’
She allowed her gaze to flick up to the flats over the road. The ground-floor flat was dark now. She breathed out in relief. ‘Probably not. Whatever it is, tell me from there.’
Max shifted from one foot to another. ‘Look, I was hoping to do a better job of things than that. Could we maybe go to dinner? I have a table booked.’
‘No.’ She sighed. ‘I’m not interested. Find yourself a normal woman, Max. I am not what you imagine.’
‘A normal woman? What’s that supposed to mean?’ He took a swig from a bottle she hadn’t noticed before.
‘Never mind.’ Tabitha shook her head. ‘I’m not the woman for you.’
‘You’re wrong.’ His voice cracked. He stepped closer to the front door and rattled the handle. ‘Whatever you are is right for me. You’re the only one who understands me.’
‘No,’ she said, putting her hands up in front of her. ‘You’re making that up. I don’t understand you at all.’
‘But, Tabitha …’
Tabitha shook her head. ‘Go home. Sober up. I’m going in now.’
‘No—’
She shut the window. She was just about to draw the curtains when she saw a movement on the other side of the road near the flats. She squinted through the darkness.
Max turned, looked around and then turned back to her.
She pulled the curtains tight and stood leaning against the wall. Here she was in a brand-new village and already she was surrounded by strife. The man she liked thought she was either deluded or a stalker. The man she didn’t like was obsessed with her.
Emily wrapped herself around her ankles, purring. ‘It’s n
ot my fault, Emily,’ she whispered. ‘I have to believe that. I am just an agent of change.’ She repeated the mantra she had used her whole life when things started going wrong. ‘But it isn’t always easy, Em.’ She buried her face in Emily’s fur and the tears began to fall.
33
Dylan
‘She told you to leave.’ Dylan clenched his hands into fists as he walked up Tabitha’s garden path. Max was standing in front of the door, rattling it in an attempt to get in. ‘She said she didn’t want visitors tonight.’
‘So what are you doing here, drummer boy?’ Max hissed.
‘I was over the road when I heard her talking to you out the window.’ Dylan flexed his muscles, knowing how the tiger on his bicep would shift and snarl. ‘I’m sorry you felt bullied at school, but that does not give you the right to bully others. Tabitha has done nothing but support you, but now she has asked you for something in return. She has asked for space and privacy. Move on.’
Max looked him up and down with a sneer. ‘Are you looking for a fight, drummer boy? Think you can take on a big tiger keeper with those delicate musician hands of yours? Oh so soft the hands of a drummer, right? You don’t want to bash them up, do you? Trust me, your claws and teeth are puny compared to what I’m used to. I’ve been charged by a full-grown tiger. Do you really think a tattoo is going to frighten me?’
‘No,’ Dylan said, his heart beating faster. ‘But if you’ve got any sense, she will.’
Max turned to the left, and then yelped and leapt backwards as the enormous white tiger stepped out into the open. He tripped and landed heavily on the path. ‘Shit, where did that come from?’ He scooted backwards, his breathing ragged.
The tiger growled and followed him.
‘Oh my God, it’s going to eat me.’ Max scrambled to his feet, grabbing onto a tree trunk as he swayed, struggling to find his balance. ‘What do we do now?’
‘You’re asking me?’ Dylan kept his voice low. He had no idea how he was supposed to react with a tiger on the loose, but he was determined not to give Tabitha away. He had to fake the fear he didn’t feel. ‘I’ve seen you in the cage with tigers at the zoo. Surely you know what to do?’
‘You saw how that played out.’ Max reached up and yanked a branch down from the tree outside Tabitha’s house. The crack sent a shudder through Dylan. The barn owl screeched and rose into the air in a flurry of white feathers. Max yanked the branch down further and tugged it off the tree, holding it as a barrier between himself and the tiger. ‘I can’t believe I’m holding off a grown-arse tiger with a twig. Could tonight get any worse?’ He walked backwards one step at a time.
Dylan fell in behind him as they backed down the path towards Tabitha’s front door.
‘God knows where this creature has come from,’ Max muttered as he edged backwards. ‘It’s glorious. If I can nail this cat for the zoo, Sophie will be bound to back off on that conservation project.’
The tiger peeled her lips back from her lethal ivory teeth, dropped into a hunting crouch and snarled.
‘What do we do? What do we do?’ Max yelled.
‘Just breathe.’ Dylan swallowed. Even knowing the cat was no danger, his heart was racing.
‘Oh bloody hell,’ Max moaned. He dropped the branch as he reached Tabitha’s door and started hammering on the thick wood. ‘Tabitha, Tabitha, help me!’ he yelled.
Silence.
‘God, she must really hate me.’ Max’s voice was high-pitched now. ‘Tabitha!’
He hammered on the door again.
‘She can’t hear you, Max. She’s probably got headphones on, or something. We can get out of this ourselves. Come on.’ Dylan reached down and picked up the branch. ‘This way.’ Dylan tugged on Max’s sleeve.
The tiger was between them and the gate, but there was a low wall on the right-hand side that was small enough for them to step over. Dylan backed towards it. Max stood frozen for a moment, and then followed, walking backwards, his eyes on the tiger.
Max swallowed. ‘Please tell me you have a plan?’
‘Breathe, and just keep coming this way to the wall.’
‘A wall that size isn’t going to stop a fully grown tiger.’ Max’s breath was coming in gasps now.
The cat shifted as they moved, positioning herself between Max and the front door, allowing the men a clear route out of the front garden. The low rumble continued from her chest, and her blue eyes blazed.
Max stepped over the wall. ‘Come on,’ he said from between gritted teeth.
‘I’m going to close the gate,’ Dylan said, moving back into the garden.
The tiger watched him from her place in front of the door.
‘It’s okay,’ Dylan murmured, reaching the gate. ‘Tabitha is safe from us. You can go now.’ He slipped through the opening and closed the gate firmly behind him.
The cat stopped growling and settled down in front of the door, its blue eyes gleaming in the light of the streetlamp.
Max stood frozen on the street.
‘Come on,’ Dylan said, as he drew level. ‘Let’s get out of here before she decides to go walkabout again.’
‘I can’t believe you went back in there.’ Max shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders rising up towards his ears.
‘She looks calmer now it’s shut.’ Dylan knew how ridiculous that sounded. ‘Let’s go to Mum’s house. She’s just down the road.’
Max was silent.
‘Max, did you hear me?’
‘You go to your mum’s.’
‘What are you going to do?’
Max turned to face Dylan, a strange glint in his eyes. ‘There’s a tiger on the loose.’ He grinned. ‘I’m going to do my civic duty. That tiger will be mine by the morning.’
Pulling out his phone, he dialled and then walked off in the opposite direction.
Dylan stared after him. He knew the tiger wouldn’t hurt Max, but Tabitha was certainly in danger. He walked slowly back towards her house, hoping to catch a glimpse of the large cat still on the doorstep, but it was gone.
‘At least Max won’t find her now,’ he said to himself, but he couldn’t deny the sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised he wasn’t going to see her either.
He was still reeling from Tabitha’s revelation and seeing her, teeth bared, tensed to pounce, hadn’t made it any easier. He wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or disappointed that she didn’t follow them down the road. He felt embarrassed at having been seen in his most private moments, and disappointed that he didn’t have the muse he had come to rely on. Most of all, he felt he had lost a friend. Since the tiger had walked into his life, he had made bigger changes than he thought possible. He still had a long way to go if he was going to realise his dreams and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it without her.
Max clearly hadn’t known Tabitha’s secret. He could still see the fear in the man’s face when he had seen the tiger, had felt a stab of exhilaration that this man, for all his big-cat knowledge, could not recognise that she was more than she seemed.
Dylan turned, looking back down the street. He squinted into the shadows, hoping the tiger had been following him. There was no sign of her and deep down he wasn’t surprised. He had shamed her: shamed her for being what she was and for telling the truth about it. He had shamed her for taking an interest in him, for being there every time he needed her. She wouldn’t cross that boundary uninvited again.
34
Tabitha
Tabitha opened her eyes. The tiger’s snarl was mirrored on her own face. She stood up and went to the cupboard above her wardrobe, pulling out a box of tea lights and lighting a stick of sage. She arranged the candles and wafted sage smoke into the corners of the room, trying to recreate the usual calm atmosphere, but it didn’t stop the churning in her stomach. If she could have got through the entrance gates to the zoo, she would have left right away to see the tigers. They always restored her peace.
Her only other route to them was her art. She needed
to travel and run with the tigers, but she couldn’t risk visiting Dylan. She was trapped.
‘What am I going to do?’ she murmured to herself, watching the smoke curl up from the sage stick in her hand and fill the room with its spicy scent. She felt herself disconnecting from her body and tried to fight it. Her mind was already drifting to Dylan and she knew that in a moment she would be by his side. She couldn’t let go.
She heard a roar in her mind, felt the tug of the cats and her legs went weak. She put the sage on a plate on the bedside table and then lay down as her head began to spin. She wouldn’t close her eyes. She had to stay at home.
The roar in her mind was louder now and she felt her feline form detach and start prowling around the room. She forced her eyes to stay open and saw the room from two perspectives, but her conscious mind was shutting down and she knew she couldn’t stop it.
She felt Dylan’s thoughts for a moment, knew he was thinking of her, and then mentally slammed the door shut between them.
She was outside on the pavement, the path cold and slick beneath the strength and sureness of her pads. She moved silently out of the front garden, enjoying the strength in her heavily muscled body. The owl shrieked in the tree behind her and she growled in response. She turned onto the road up to the zoo, focusing on the pull of the tigers and yowling, letting the air into her lungs. The damp, musky smell of the undergrowth mixed with the more distant scent of caged animals, straw and dung. She took a giant leap over the gate and bunched her muscles to take the impact of the landing. It took her moments to reach the enclosure. Inside the cage, she manifested fully, taking on her most solid form. She walked around the perimeter, yowling and growling a greeting, and then turned at the low rumble behind her. The male tiger stood there, crouched low, teeth bared. She dropped into a matching stance.
For a moment there was stand-off, and then the male loosened his body and walked towards her, rubbing his gigantic head against her side. She yowled in response, before setting off around the perimeter with him at her side. When everything was falling apart, there was always this.
Wild Shadow : A Sweet Paranormal Romance Page 13
