by R. G. Angel
My family dog was always listening to me, doing all the tricks I asked him to do even without training. I’d been only seven then, but I was the only one able to soothe him when he was scared or angry. I just thought he was just supersmart, and I enjoyed teaching him more and more tricks until the day I came back to school and my parents announced that Stew had passed. I wasn’t sure how—they’d refused to tell me—but from that day forward, they always refused to get another pet.
When I got older, I found a job at the local vet clinic and even if the animals they didn’t listen to me the way Stew had, I still had my way with them, keeping them calm and secure when they needed to be.
But what just happened was beyond freaky. As slow as Krysten might have been, she was right. I had just controlled a deadly snake, a snake that no one had ever managed to control before.
I walked back on autopilot, dropping the keys on my way back to my room, still having a hard time realizing I was still alive.
That night I had a nightmare which was a reminder of the past. For years during my childhood I had nightmares and night terrors but as the years passed and I grew up, the nightmares had started to fade until they were nothing more than an unpleasant childhood memory.
A ‘normal’ nightmare wouldn’t have worried me much because, after the evening I just had, I was sure that tougher people would have been shaken up. Only this nightmare didn’t involve snakes or any venomous animals. It involved nothing… a nothingness that terrified me.
I was running, running so fast that I felt like my burning lungs were on the verge of collapsing. My legs were aching and my throat was burning, but I was still running for my life. I was in the dim forest where I usually felt so safe, but now I was threatened and endangered. I kept glancing around behind me, but I couldn’t see anything… I couldn’t hear anything, but I knew my assailant was getting closer and closer. I just couldn’t see who or what it was, but I knew that once he caught me, I’d be dead.
I knew I was using the last of my energy and that my escape was useless… I turned one last time when my foot got caught in a tree root and I fell facedown.
That’s when I woke up, looking frantically around the room, trying to come back to reality. I tightened my perspiration-soaked hair into a ponytail as I sat up.
My heart was still going crazy in my chest and my fear was lingering as if someone were with me in the room, spying me from the dark.
That’s when I heard the voice in my head. The weirdest part was that it was not Nick’s voice, the one I usually summoned to make me feel safe.
No, the voice whispering in my head, saying, ‘It’s okay, I’m with you… you’re safe. I won’t let anybody hurt you’ was Tamlin and that shook me almost as much as that nightmare had. It was clearly his deep and throaty yet melodic voice. What did that mean?
As I turned on the lamp on my nightstand, I blinked a few times at the blinding light.
I quickly looked at Krysten’s side of the room but her bed was made and empty; the shoebox was resting on it with a little pink Post-it on the lid.
I looked at the alarm clock and was surprised that it was already six a.m.
I needed comfort and I needed it now. I decided to phone Nick; just hearing him say it will be alright, maybe cracking one or two lame jokes and I’d be fine again. I knew I would.
I stood up and looked at the Post-it which stated
Of course, there were little hearts replacing the dots over the I’s. I rolled my eyes; it was already annoying in fourth grade; it was beyond aggravating now.
I opened the box just to check the gecko was still alive as he could have easily killed himself after spending time with those girls. It was almost animal abuse.
I feel a weird sensation, like eyes on the back of my neck. I quickly glanced behind me but the room was empty. Okay, it’s official, you’re crazy, I thought, shaking my head.
I reached for my phone to call my brother and cussed when I realized that once again, I’d forgotten to charge it.
I took some coins on the desk and tiptoed in the corridor to the pay phone in the common area, praying that no one would see me wearing my black pajama bottoms and pink tank top which were the top of fashion.
I put the coins in the telephone and as soon as I heard my brother’s raspy, sleepy voice, I felt better.
“Yeah?”
“Still in bed, sleepyhead?” I asked, rolling my eyes but I couldn’t help but smile, imagining his messy, shaggy blond hair and his baby face he had when he woke up.
“Baby sis?” he asked, clearly surprised. “But… It’s only six where you are… Are you okay?” he added, worry obvious in this voice.
I felt bad for worrying him. Knowing how impulsive he was, he could easily jump onto a plane to come here and that would just be silly. “Nah, I was working on a project and well…” I started nibbling on my bottom lip, a very bad habit I had when I was trying to lie. It gave me away every time we were face-to-face, but I could easily pull it off on the phone.
“Stop biting your lip, baby sis, and tell me what’s wrong,” he soothed. “You know I won’t laugh.”
“You could hear me biting my lip?”
“Nah,” he chuckled. “I just know that well.” He sighed.
“I…” I looked up and met Tamlin’s eyes. He was standing on the threshold of his room, looking at me, and once our eyes locked, I was drawn into his like usual. He was only wearing pajama bottoms and as expected he had a perfectly muscular chest, not too much, just perfect. He was looking at me with some expression I couldn’t place. Fondness? Protectiveness? Whatever it was, it was strange.
“Fay? Fay, are still with me?” Nick huffed, probably jumping out of bed.
“Yeah, sorry.” I looked down, breaking eye contact. “I… I just miss you and with the stress of all the new classes, I just wanted to hear your voice.” I smiled. “It always makes me feel better,” I added, looking up again but Tamlin’s door was closed.
“I miss you too, baby sis, but you’ll see you’ll make some friends soon and you will settle into your new life,” he encouraged me.
“Oh yeah, I know.” I knew it was a lost cause, but I didn’t want him to worry anymore. It had been a mistake to have called him when I was feeling low like that. It was not like he could do anything from three thousand miles away. “I just wanted to talk to you for a while, clear my head listening to your lame jokes.”
“Which I know you love, by the way,” he teased.
“I really truly do,” I admitted. “Well, I’ll let you go back to bed.”
“You bet I’ll go back to sleep. I only had eleven hours of sleep!” He laughed.
“Oh, poor you, it’s child abuse!” I exclaimed with an overplayed sad voice. “Do you want me to call social services on the parents?”
“Nah…” I could picture his perfect pout that made me cave every single time. “I can survive; I’m a strong man.”
“Of course, you are!” I chuckled. “I should go too, I have an early class.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I had to sneak in the science building between the opening of the doors and the first class to put the gecko back in place. “But I’ll call you back tonight.”
“K…luv ya.”
“Luv ya too.” I really felt better now.
I stopped in front of Tamlin’s room on my way back to mine, ready to knock. My fist froze in mid knock. What would I even say? Silly girl! The other day was just an act of charity.
I took a quick shower, dressed in my usual faded blue jeans, hooded sweatshirt, and my way too worn sneakers. It was a rainy autumn day, which wasn’t surprising for Oregon, but it was terrible for my frizzy hair. I was looking like a hobo pooch most days so I settled for a messy bun that would hide the extent of the horror. Not that I used to care before, but now things were different… I was different since I met him.
Him? I thought, snorting. I was even too shy to think his name… He was not Voldemort.
I looked at my watch. Eight thirty a
.m. I had a very good chance to make it to the lab before any professor.
I sighed in relief to find the building open and very quiet.
At least I won’t get kicked out, I thought, almost running upstairs.
As I reached the door, I put the shoebox on the floor and gently took the gecko in my hand so I could get in and out as fast as possible.
When I opened the door, I winced as I saw someone standing over a desk looking at some paperwork. I quickly backed away, hoping they hadn’t heard or seen me.
“Miss Newman?”
I grimaced. Shit!
I had to think fast and stop my palms from sweating or I’d kill that poor gecko and I couldn’t bear the thought of killing an animal, any kind of animal. Just the thought of hurting one made me nauseated
I took a deep breath to steady myself and walked into the room with a smile on my face.
“Yes, hi.” I recognized the research assistant of my animal behavior professor. His name was Somersen I believed, but I heard a lot of girls call him McYummy. But based on how stern he always looked, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t like that.
“Do you need anything?” he asked me with a million-dollar smile, showing me a set of perfect white teeth. It was true that he was beautiful, almost too perfect really, with a face like the Greek statues I had seen at the God and Goddess exposition in Boston the previous year. He was quite tall at six feet with light-brown hair and icy-blue eyes. The lines of his face were delicate, soft and perfectly symmetrical. Well, your type or not, you had to admit he was beautiful.
“I… no, not really.” I shrugged, walking to stand behind the white counter, still thinking of a way to get the gecko into place. “I like to come here to see the animals,” I added as innocently as I could. Think, idiot, think!
“Oh, really?” he asked with a smile playing on his lips. I saw him close the folder on the desk and I knew he was about to come toward me and there would be no hiding the gecko then.
In the minute I had, I resorted to the most desperate and bound to fail plan I had just thought of. “Oh, but what…” I exclaimed with fake surprise, reaching down.
“What is it?” he asked curiously.
I straightened up, showing my palm where the gecko was resting.
“I found it on the floor.” I tried to sound nonchalant. Oh my God, did I always suck at lying? Because that was terrible! I thought as my heartbeat started to rise. I should have waited. I should… I’m dead! I thought, on the brink of tears.
He narrowed his piercing eyes, looking at the gecko, then back to me a couple of times. It was clear on his face that he didn’t believe a word of what I said and therefore what he did next surprised me. “Oh yeah, that’s right! I lost it this morning. Thank you.” I didn’t miss the glimpse of humor in his eyes.
“You’re welcome,” I automatically replied, knowing it was stupid to keep on pretending as his answer clearly showed he knew it had been a lie.
“Miss Newman?” he asked and I realized he had been talking but I was looking at the cobra, replaying last night’s events.
“Sorry, what? And call me Fay, please, Mr. Somersen.” I tried to sound as cordial as I could.
He was clearly covering my butt, and even if I didn’t feel especially comfortable in his presence, I owed him that much.
I always had some kind of ‘awareness’ of people, like a first impression that always turned out to be right. It was hard to explain but like with the animal I could feel them. I usually could say if people were genuine or if they had ill feelings. Something that my brothers had always trusted and used when they were making new friends. But Somersen came back… empty. I could not really get any vibe from him and that made me uncomfortable.
“Mr. Somersen is my dad,” he dismissed me with a laugh. “Please call me Gareth. I’m barely older than you.”
“Well, fine… Gareth.” I stepped back toward the door. “Have a nice day.”
“Wait!” He raised his hand to stop me but seemed to rethink it and let his arm fall at his side.
I stopped, looking at him quizzically.
“Why did you come?” he asked.
I gave him my best ‘like-you-don’t-know’ face, pursing my lips.
He laughed again. “I was thinking, you have to prepare a research paper on an animal of your choice; you found a gecko and a specialist in exotic animals and more specifically reptiles who could help you…” He pointed at himself with a grin. “It has to be fate,” he added, leaning back against the lab table.
“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t believe in fate,” I retorted, not able to contain the cold edge in my voice.
I saw something cross his face—anger? I wasn’t sure.
“And why is that?” he asked, his voice not as warm as before. I could see that he was not the type of person you often said no to.
“I hate the idea of not being in control of my destiny.” I stood straighter, my head high to show him that I was not just another stupid little girl running around campus. He needed to know that everything I was usually saying was well thought through… Unless I was committing a felony and then I was as slow as Krysten.
He cocked his head to the side, seemingly considering what I’d said as if it was a huge revelation. As if he hadn’t expected something like that from me and I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or not by this.
He finally nodded after staring at me for what seemed an eternity. “I’ll see you around, Fay,” he finally added before turning around and walking back to his desk, clearly dismissing me.
“Bye,” I replied, rather dumbfounded by his rapid dismissal but I left the room quickly as I didn't want to tempt my luck after his surprising generosity.
I had wanted to do my project on the cobra, but not now that I know that Gareth Somersen was the on-campus specialist on reptiles. He seemed to see too much. It would be risky to be around him. He already knew I’d been up to no good with the gecko; I really didn't need to have him suspect anything further.
I took a deep breath as I exited the building, looking around at the sea of students now walking up and down the paths. I had a few hours before class and I decided to go take a walk in the forest. It was my happy place, the perfect place to both calm my nerves and recenter myself. It was also ideal to find my new project.
Chapter 5
I strolled in the small forest surrounding the campus and sighed with content as all the awkwardness and apprehension I felt before slowly faded.
I knew that most people would feel insecure or at least uncomfortable to be alone in a quiet forest, but not me. I loved being here. It was so peaceful, so beautiful, I felt safe like it was where I truly belonged and it had been the case for as long as I could remember.
I discovered the extent of my kinship with nature back in fourth grade when my brothers, who were supposed to walk me home, forgot me. They’d been in sixth grade by then and preferred the company of girls their age than their little sister.
I hadn’t wanted them to get into trouble for forgetting me because my parents were borderline psychotic about my safety—it felt like I was Brad and Angelina’s kid or something. This was also why it surprised me so much that, after eighteen years of intense protection, they let me go across the country to study when I could have done exactly the same back home and spent every night in the warmth and safety of my own bed.
So, I’d walked home alone that day, but I had been so lost in my thoughts, trying to find a good lie in case one of my parents was home, that I got lost on the way. I realized it when I was in the middle of Ferry Beach State Park, under the dim light of the trees. Any other ten-year-old child would have been terrified but for me, it had been a revelation. It felt like I belonged there, where I should have been all along. I didn’t stay long that day as I didn’t want anybody to worry about me and I found my way back without any trouble, even if it had been the first time I was there. It was like I had a built-in compass in my brain.
From that day on, each t
ime I managed to get away from parental supervision, I was going to my happy place… the park.
Today was no different. I was wandering in Willamette Park, trying to figure out what I would base my zoology research paper on. Using this time to recharge my battery.
I looked to an oak tree and saw a silver-gray squirrel crawling down the trunk.
“Hey, buddy,” I said as he stopped to look at me. “Would you like to help me get an A?” I smiled, kneeling before opening my hand palm up.
I knew it would come to me as most of the animals, wild or not, did. Nobody really knew the extent of my gift, and apparently, after last night, I realized I didn't even know the extent myself.
I truly realized it was not such a common gift when I worked at the local veterinary clinic for two summers before graduating. I made a lot of animal friends there; the vet even called me Dr. Doolittle as a joke but I could see that he had envied my ability to keep the animals calm, to make them feel safe as if I could talk to them.
Maybe I didn’t make human friends at home, but I knew most of the pets in town. Animals I understood just fine, but people? They were just another species for me, speaking a language I didn’t understand, and I was certainly not desperate enough to try.
And right now, with this little squirrel staring at me, I knew I was about to make another friend.
“It’s fine…” I looked around. “You’re safe, buddy, come here,” I added, keeping my eyes locked with his.
The squirrel hesitated before walking slowly toward me, climbing into my hand.
I stood up carefully, gently scratching his head with my forefinger.
“So here’s the drill. I want to write a paper on your food gathering habits in the fall as you don’t hibernate.” I knew he understood me by the way he looked at me, cocking his cute little head to the side. “Can I observe you and your friends for a while?” I asked.
The squirrel made a little squealing sound. I smiled as I took it as a ‘okie dokie’ squirrel style.
“Thanks, buddy. Now—” I froze at the same time the squirrel did.
