by R. G. Angel
I frowned. “Are you seriously thinking I’m going to stay here and work with you after what happened?”
He frowned. “What did I do now?”
My mouth hung open with shock. How could he not see it?
“I was here, minding my own business, and she came and interrupted.” He pointed in the general direction of the door she’d just taken. “Please don’t tell me you’re naive enough to think she came to talk about an assignment. Her mission was to get me in her bed,” he added harshly, making me blush, my treacherous brain conjuring an image of Gareth in bed.
“Once!” He raised his forefinger. “Once, last year I slipped up and had an indiscretion. I fucked one of the Delta Zeta halfway through her mattress and now…” He looked heavenward. “One fucking slipup.”
I was taken aback by his crude language. It was not something I expected from him.
He shook his head. “I don’t have time for them; I’ve got things to do. Why are they allowed to think that my time is theirs?”
I nodded, trying to recover from both his outburst and the images and thoughts I had no right to have for him. “You’ve got no time for them, but you have time for me? I think I’m going to give you your time back. I’ll work on that paper myself. Enjoy your free time.” I closed my bag and slid it on my shoulder.
“Fay, stop it,” he said with a sigh of weariness, reaching for me from across the table, but I was out of reach. He rested his slender, delicate hand on the table. His fingers were long and his skin pale, unmarred by any blemish. It was hard to imagine these hands in the heat of passion, fucking a woman as powerfully as he said.
I looked up and met his hypnotic eyes, looking at me with such wonder and a hint of something I couldn’t really decipher.
“I have time for you, always,” he added with a small smile.
“Why?
“Because it’s you,” he replied so softly that it thawed a little of my irritation.
“You have to stop being mean,” I chided. “This is not okay.”
“But she was—”
I shook my head. “It doesn't matter. She wanted to try her luck; so what? It may not have been the most appropriate place, but she didn’t do anything wrong and it didn’t warrant your reaction.”
“If you dislike me so much, why are you even bothering with me?” he asked coldly and even if his face looked hard, I didn’t miss the hurt in his eyes.
“I don’t… dislike you,” I replied tentatively. It was true though, I didn’t. I let out a startled laugh. “God help me. I think I even like you.”
He arched his eyebrows, and I saw his tensed shoulders relax under his dress shirt.
“I liked the caring, nice Gareth I see when you’re with me. But I have a hard time with this version of Gareth—the dismissive, mean Gareth.” I cocked my head to the side. “I don’t like him very much and I have a hard time reconciling both sides of you,” I admitted truthfully.
He took a deep breath. “That’s fair. Please stay.” And I could see yet again he was not the kind of man to ask for anything. He was demanding and this simple request mollified me a little more.
I shook my head.” No, I mean, yes, I want to but there’s no point. I forgot the guidelines in my room anyway.”
“Okay.” He stood up. “Let’s go get it then.”
What? I stood up almost automatically. “No, it’s fine.” I felt a little uncomfortable to have him in my space even if I knew he would not hurt me. Gareth was raw power, not in the obvious physical sense that Tamlin was. No, he was leaner, but he was just as intimidating.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” He gestured me toward the exit. “I have to work on my thesis tonight, and if I have the guidelines, it will allow me to put some books aside for your research.”
How could I argue with that?
I nodded. “Sure, let's go.”
“Do you have plans for tonight?” he asked me.
“Probably study. There’s this big party at some fraternity so you know I’ll have peace and quiet.”
“You’re not the party type.”
I snorted. “That’s an understatement. What about you? Any girl you’re planning to fuck… what did you say?” I couldn't help but smile now at the humor of his statement. “Halfway through her mattress?”
He smiled too. “Something like that.” He sighed as we reached my floor. “No, I'm not much of a partier either, and there’s only one girl I’d like to conquer.”
“Ah.” I’d walked straight into that one, but I refused to acknowledge the statement.
We walked into my room and as I looked for the paper on my desk, he looked at my room.
“Your roommate moved out.”
“Yep,” I nodded, still going through the papers on my desk. I really needed to work on that.
“I guess stealing that gecko was worth it after all.”
I froze, the paper now in my hand before turning around slowly and meeting his amused gaze.
“I had to. She is… she is…” I twisted my mouth, trying to find a nice way to put it. “She is a lot.”
He rolled his eyes before letting his eyes trail to the papers in my hand.
“Ah, yes.” I extended the pages to him.
“Do you mind?” he asked, pointing at the desk Krysten had vacated.
I shook my head and started to put a bit of order on my desk as he copied some of the info he needed.
“Okay, I have everything I need. See you later?”
I nodded. “Sure, you have fun with your thesis. Don’t get too wild.”
We were both laughing when I opened the door and saw Tamlin walking down the corridor, his neutral look turning into a scowl as soon as he saw Gareth exiting my room.
“I’ll call you,” Gareth said before looking haughtily to Tamlin and walking away.
Tamlin stopped walking and followed him with his eyes until he took the door to the stairs before turning toward me.
“I wanted to see you actually.” He pointed at my room. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, come in,” I said, moving from my spot at the door, once more hating myself for looking like my usual train wreck. Maybe I should just ask Krysten for some advice; she had tens of boys following her around.
And maybe you shouldn’t force something that is not made to be, the little voice in my head reminded me.
But he looked so delicious with his red Henley molding his muscly arms, flat stomach, and washboard abs to perfection, and his jeans wrapped around his powerful legs. His longish black hair curling around the collar of his shirt, his jade eyes… That man was a walking fantasy… my walking, talking fantasy.
“Can I help you with something?”
He turned around with a shrug. “Are you dating him?”
I took a step back, surprised by his question. Tamlin and I were developing a friendship recently, but nothing to the point that would allow him to ask this question.
“I’m not sure… How is that your business?” Please tell me you like me; please tell me you're jealous, anything to let me know you care too.
“It just won't look very good on you to date a member of the faculty. I don’t want you to have this stigma following you around, that’s all.”
I didn’t think he could have managed to make me angrier if he’d tried.
I stood straighter, pursing my lips. “Well, thank you for your concern; it’s duly noted.” I opened the door, gesturing him out. “But you need to remember you’re not my brother, nor my protector. And right now? You’re barely my friend.”
He walked to me stiffly but instead of going out, he kicked the door closed. “What if I am?” He growled, leaning over me, all menacing, but he didn’t raise any fear out of me. No, unfortunately what he rose was quite the opposite.
“What if you are what?”
He opened his mouth but closed it again as if he was rethinking his next words. “I’m your friend, Fay. I care for you.” He sighed, taking a step back, getting out of my space
which disappointed me a bit. “I’m not… good at this,” he finished rather lamely, rubbing the back of his neck.
I sighed, letting go of my irritation. “I take it you don’t have any sisters?”
He shook his head. “Only child, my mother died when I was very young.”
Fuck me. Way to kill any annoyance I had against him.
“And my father is in the military, so I think protectiveness is in my blood,” he added with a sheepish smile.
Military, yeah, I would have guessed with the way he held himself.
“Ah, well, I’ve got brothers, and this is not going to work. You can’t be all overprotective like that, okay? Let’s not turn this into a Tony Montana, Gina tragedy,” I added in an attempt of a joke.
He looked at me, visibly lost.
I frowned. “You know Tony Montana? Scarface?”
He shook his head. “I— Who is he?”
“Who is—” I kept staring at him, thinking that he would get it any second now but as his eyebrows stayed etched in confusion, I realized the horror. “Tamlin, have you seen Scarface? Al Pacino?”
He rubbed his neck again and I realized it was a gesture he did when he was self-conscious. “I… ummm… I don’t watch too much TV.”
You don’t say. Mick, my movie buff brother, would have died of a coronary. “Let’s fix that. I’ll make popcorn and we’ll watch it.” I pointed to my laptop. “What do you say?”
Tamlin was silent for a second, and I realized he was a hot popular guy. There was a huge party happening tonight and he probably had much better things to do than spend time with lonely little Fay Newman.
“Oh, you’ve got plans. Yeah, I should have thought.” I laughed, shaking my hand dismissively. “I better get back to my assign—”
“I would love to watch that movie with you, Fay,” he finally said gently.
I was grateful he stopped my rambling, and I was also grateful for how sincere he both sounded and looked.
“Just get everything ready. I have a couple of things to take care of, but I’ll be back in an hour or so and—”
I took a tentative step toward him. “If you want to go to the party, it’s okay, you know. I’m not angry or anything. We can watch Scarface some other time. Film’s been out for like forty years; it can wait a few more days.” I really didn't want to come before his plans.
Yes, you do, but you don’t want him to do it out of pity, that’s all, my stupid conscience chimed, meddling when she had no business to do so.
He cocked his eyes to the side, his smile soft—almost tender. “Nothing would please me more than to watch that movie with you, eating popcorn—honest.” He raised his hand and I could already feel his strong fingers on my cheek but he changed his mind and let his hand fall back down.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said, his voice just a little deeper than before.
“I— Yeah, okay. I’ll get everything ready.”
He took a step toward the door before turning around, his eyebrows lowered in thought. “It’s—” He stopped before shaking his head again. “I’ll see you a bit,” he added before walking out.
Tamlin came back with drinks. “You’re providing me with food and film; I could at least provide the drinks.”
I looked at the bottles in his hand. “Oh, a beer for me?”
He chuckled. “Nice try.” He extended me the Coke bottle. “We can discuss that when you’re twenty-one.”
I rolled my eyes, grabbing the bottle. “Fine, Grandpa.”
I put the laptop on the desk and settled on my bed, belly down. I turned toward him. He looked at me and the bed before looking at the screen again.
He shook his head as if he was having an internal debate until he settled on the floor, resting his back against the foot of the bed.
I extended him the bowl of popcorn and he put it on the floor beside him.
We watched the film in silence and every time I reached for the popcorn he tensed as I touched his arm. Maybe I affected him as much as he affected me.
“So what did you think?” I asked after the film was over.
He stayed on his spot on the floor but turned his eyes, his face only a breath away from mine. “I wouldn't have pegged you as bloodthirsty.”
“Ah… my secret is out now. I’ve got mafia in my blood.”
He snorted. “I’d say royalty is more like it.” He sighed. “No, it was a good film, just wow… so much blood.”
I nodded. “Yes, maybe I should have started slower, you know like The Godfather or something.” It was a joke of course but as his face remained blank, I realized the truth. “You’ve never seen The Godfather?”
“I—” He rubbed his neck subconsciously. “TV is not—”
“That’s it.” I stood up. “I’ll make a list of films you need to watch before you meet my brothers because Mick would die on the spot.” I stopped, mortified. Did I just say that Tamlin was going to meet my family? Please, God, take me now.
I turned around slowly but he didn’t look fazed by it. He looked amused; a small smile played on his lips. “Meeting the family, huh?”
I felt the blush creep on my cheeks. “No, I— It’s not, just—” Please, death be kind and come now.
He laughed. “You’re close to them, aren’t you?”
I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself in comfort. “I know it’s going to sound overly sad and probably pathetic but they’re my best friends.” I smiled thinking of my doofus brothers. “They’re twins but very different, you know. Mick is huge about cinema and introduced me to all these classics.” I pointed toward my computer in emphasis. “Nick, despite being a cool athlete, is more of a reader and he sort of shared his love of books with me. I’m very lonely without them.”
Tamlin closed the distance between us and rested his hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to be. You have me, Fay.”
I was taken aback by the softness, dared I say, tenderness of his tone. “Yes, I know it’s your job.”
He shook his head, keeping his eyes locked with mine. “It’s more,” he replied softly. “So much more,” he added before brushing his lips against my forehead. “I’ll see you soon, Fay.” He left the room without waiting for me to say goodbye.
I stared at the door he’d just taken. He seemed to be just as lost as I was, as conflicted.
What do you want from me, Tamlin Wood?
Chapter 7
I was looking at the wall, trying very hard not to fall asleep during what was probably the longest and most annoying lecture in the history of the universe. Was I exaggerating? Maybe, but just barely.
We had two seminars for our Environmental Protection class, given by a man who was exclusively reading from a book on the same monotone voice. A true torture for me and the other students who actually cared about that subject.
I was convinced this man could even make the discovery of a new species completely boring.
On the bright side, I was getting really accustomed with the lecture hall during the four hours of hell this lecture lasted. The wall borders had three white tiles for one blue. That was something I managed to discover because of him. Should I be grateful?
I also got quite proficient at drawing dogs too. They didn’t look so much like raccoons anymore. Who would have thought that studying science would develop my barely exciting artistic skills?
Way to go, Professor Dull! I thought, looking at the clock. We still had forty-five minutes to go and it felt like I had been locked in this room since at least the ice age.
I sighed and looked at him as he was scanning the room.
Come on, please, please! If you don’t want me to throw the first thing that I can get my hand on directly at your nose, let us go. Come on… Dismiss the freaking class already! I begged mentally.
Professor McBoring blinked, looking at me, and closed his book loudly. “Well, I know you youngsters have your Halloween party tomorrow and the rest of my lecture can be found in the book—”
No shit
, Sherlock! I thought sarcastically.
“Class dismissed,” he added, smiling at us. “Have fun.” He reached for his bag, then left the room.
I looked at him exiting, completely stunned. I knew it was impossible, but it was like I’d talked out loud and that he agreed with me! Awesome!
Yeah, sure, Fay Newman can now do some mind control… obviously.
As my eyes reached the door, I felt both annoyance and a little guilt at seeing Gareth waiting for me.
It had been six weeks since we had the coffee and since then I hadn’t gone out with him again. We kept our relationship on a friendly level, doing research and talking about generic things but nothing more.
Since I realized I was in love with Tamlin, I decided to be more careful with the guys that might like me, and well, it was not like there were a lot of them to worry about, but Gareth seemed pretty attached and even if I was not attached to him, I didn’t want to break his heart or give him the wrong idea.
Maybe later, I could see things otherwise, if I was not that much in love with Tamlin anymore, but it seemed pretty unlikely because each time we spoke I fell a bit more. I also knew that one day, I would drown in it without the ability or the will to make it back.
I should have kept my distance with Tamlin, realizing things were not on our side in the first place, and him not being into me was a pretty big drawback, but I promised him we could be friends and I could see that friendship meant a lot to him. After our Scarface viewing, I realized how little he knew about cinema and I decided to do his cinematic education. The more evenings we spent together, the more I liked him until I knew I was too deep to fight it.
I knew he was not seeing me the same way as I did him, but I decided that in the end, having him as a friend was better than nothing.
“So, going to the ball tomorrow?” I asked as I reached him by the door.
“Nope.” He shook his head. “I already have plans. What about you?” he asked curiously.
I shrugged slightly. “I was not planning to, but Krysten managed to convince me.” I grimaced.
Krysten had indeed surprised me by being much more loyal than I thought she was. I’d thought that, when she got into her super popular group, it would be the last I’d see of her, but she was coming to visit me once a week or so and she was texting too. I was not going to lie; her visits were hard to bear. She was talking so much I wanted to shoot myself just for some peace and quiet, but it was still nice of her to keep the contact… unless someone paid her to kill me slowly and painfully and I hadn’t ruled this option out yet.
