by R. G. Angel
I needed to concentrate on training and becoming queen; Tamlin couldn’t take the forefront of my mind. Not now…
Be strong, Fay. Do it. If only to avenge Nicky. Be strong, I repeated to myself.
Chapter 18
During the following week I was too busy to be miserable and I was grateful for that. Between the tutoring with the meanest old shrew I’d ever met and her look that seemed to say I was a walking disappointment, and the training with Aidan that always left me battered and exhausted, I barely had the time to wallow in self-pity or worry about anything.
I knew Tamlin loved me… I’d seen it firsthand in his head, but I had not seen him in a week. I’d hoped for a while that he would come and sneak into my bedroom at night or something, but no. It really felt like he was avoiding me and it stung bad.
Aidan picked me up as usual to take me to the training room. He had chosen a room with a portrait of my parents with me on my mother’s knees. I knew he’d done it on purpose so every time I looked up to their faces, I knew what I was training for. My birthright, my legacy… my blood.
“Why are you always the one training me?” I asked Aidan sullenly as we walked into the training room. So much for not thinking about Tamlin.
“Why? Do you have anything to say about my training methods?” he asked, standing straight in front of me, taking a fighting stance.
“No, it’s just—” I stopped, looking away with embarrassment. I missed Tamlin, but I knew it would have been childish to say so.
I knew it was logical. I knew they were trying to protect me… us… our relationship until I won my legitimacy, but I couldn’t help the irrational, hormone-driven part of my brain that yearned for him.
“He can’t train you. It will not be efficient,” Aidan replied to my unspoken thought.
“I know…” Oh, who I was kidding? I wanted to know why. “Why can’t he? I thought he was the best in the army.”
Aidan chuckled. “You know I was not so bad either in my time and we’re not trying to turn you into a fighter. It would be impossible in the short time we have. We’re just looking to make you less of a liability, not as much of a victim.”
“And he can’t do that?”
“Love changes us, Fay. He can’t train you because he is so scared he would hurt you… Just thinking of you getting hurt gets to him.”
“You don’t believe in love?”
“It doesn’t matter what I believe in.” He cleared his throat. “Okay, take your position.” He reached for a long wooden stick. “You need to block me.”
“Block you?”
He sighed with clear exasperation. “Like last week, that shield you used.”
“But I don’t know how I did it! You know that it just… happened!”
“You were mad; you wanted to hurt me,” he stated matter-of-factly, making me blush.
Aidan was training me twice a day now. I was hurt and bruised, but he had kept coming at me relentlessly.
On that day I really wanted to hurt him, make him feel as miserable as I did. And when he came to me once more, I raised my hand and it stopped him in his tracks, even made him take two steps back.
He’d said that it was an unusual ability. And we agreed that even if it was more a defensive ability and an offensive one, it would be enough to surprise and distract my assailant for at least a couple of seconds, giving me either the time to get out of reach or let one of the knights come to my rescue. The only problem was that since that day, I hadn’t managed to do it again.
Aidan hit my calf with the stick. “I told you, use your feelings, your anger… your pain. You might not want to hurt me but Myros… he took your brother; he took away your life; he almost succeeded in taking away the love of your life, and now he is trying to take your throne, your legacy. Come on, Fay!” He hit me again behind the right knee, making me fall heavily to the floor. “Show me the anger, show me the rage… Show me the hate!”
I stood up and I hated how my eyes were blurry with tears of frustration and anger. Maybe it was all a mistake; maybe Tamlin had been right and being here would cause more problems. I shook my head. No, don’t go there! I chastised myself.
“Do it!” Aidan shouted, trying to hit me again, and this time I barely managed to dodge it.
“I can’t!” I shouted back.
“Yes, you can! Do it!” he repeated, jaw set, raising the stick to hit me again. “Feel it, I know you have it in you, come on!”
“I—”
“Do you want me to regret taking your side? Do you want to be a weak little whiny girl? Are you as helpless as Myros said you were?”
I could feel the heat of anger in me, starting in the center of my chest. I was not helpless; I was not a victim, and I sure as hell was not a whiny girl.
“I guess I shouldn’t have—” he started, raising the stick to hit me again.
“No!” I raised my hand and I felt pins and needles running down my body. Hot energy built at the center of my chest, and I raised my hand toward him, visualizing this ball of energy going down my arm and toward him.
As I did, the stick fell on the floor as Aidan flew backward against the wall before falling heavily to the floor.
I looked at him in shock before looking at my own hand. Did I just do that?
He grinned at me; it was the first full grin I saw on his face and it suited him. “Ah, I think we got it.” He cheered, staying on the floor. He folded up one of his legs, resting his elbow on his knee. It was such a casual pose; it didn’t seem much like Aidan either.
“You got it?” I asked a little breathless, staring down at him.
“What triggers your ability.” He stood up. “I kept wondering, probing, and now we know. It’s a mix of frustration and anger that triggers it.”
“And it’s good, right?”
He stood up with a wince and patted my shoulder. “It’s very good, Fay.” He smiled. “Tell me you could look into Myros' eyes without feeling both anger and frustration?”
I widened my eyes with understanding as he nodded in approval.
“At least one thing is going our way.” He sighed. “Why don’t you go and rest for a while? You need to be ready for the introduction party tonight. If things go well, it will help with your council meeting tomorrow.”
“I’ve got to go to a party?” I shrieked. “And what council? Nobody said I’d have to do that!” I’d seen the room in Tamlin’s head, and as brave as I wanted to be, I didn’t feel ready, not to be judged by hundreds of people.
“I’m sure your tutor did,” he chastised gently.
“That woman hates me. I don’t listen all the time.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s the war council you have to talk with tomorrow, Fay… Seven members.”
“To do what?”
“To convince them that your military action is legitimate. Once the majority of them agree with you, you’ll get your full-fledged war—well, just a suicide operation really.”
I glared. “It’s not suicide. I know we can win.”
He grinned. “I know too. I wouldn’t have let things go as far as I did if I ever thought it was a lost cause. I’m just happy you think so too.”
“What time do you need me to go to that party? Is it a big party?”
He sighed. “You really need to listen to your tutor, Fay. Rumors of your return have spread, and fairy nobility are getting annoyed. It will be a small party with only a couple hundred people, but all are vetted by me and General Woods. You’ll be fine. Yannick will come pick you up; don't go with anyone else, okay?”
Couple hundred… Great moment for the introvert.
I took off in the direction of the door but turned just before leaving. “Could you…” I stopped, unsure if I should go there.
“Could I?” Aidan encouraged.
“Could you tell him that I miss him.” I looked down at my shoes.
“I will…” He sighed. “And I know for a fact he misses you too.”
I looked up,
surprised.
He smiled. “Don’t look so surprised. I’m not that clueless, and I can see the longing in his eyes every time I leave to come train you. He wishes he were me.”
“So why—”
“You know why; for now it’s for the best. After the fight… we’ll be fine.”
“We’ll be fine,” I repeated, trying to sound convinced.
“Go rest. It will be a long meeting.”
“Why?” I asked stubbornly, staying in the middle of the training mat.
He sighed with weariness. “What now, Fay?”
“Why are you so nice to me, so protective?” He was also taking a few liberties with me that I know from the tutor would be frowned upon by our peers. “And don’t say it’s your mission because I’m smart enough to know it’s more.”
“This is a long discussion for some other time, okay?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I want to know; I’m not going anywhere. Everybody trusts you with me. Why?”
“You’re just as stubborn as she was,” he grumbled before looking up at the painting of my parents. “It’s because I love you.”
I took a step back at the shock of this revelation “I— What now? Huh?” No, no way that was possible. He was old enough to be my father!
He frowned at my expression. “Not that way!” He rolled his eyes. “Lydia was my sister,” he said fondly. “And you’re so much like her.”
I turned briskly toward the painting. It was sure I was almost her spitting image. “I thought royalty could only marry noble blood.”
He chuckled. “Who said I wasn’t? Much to our father’s dismay, I've chosen the army. It was my vocation, just as leading with love and kindness was your mother’s.”
I took a tentative step toward him, still unsure it was all real. “Uncle Aidan?”
He smiled. “Yes?”
I didn't know why I did what I did then; maybe it was my overwhelming loneliness or the reality that this man was the only blood relative I had left, but I ran to him and threw myself in his arms, hugging him as tightly as I could.
He stayed frozen for a second before hugging me back just as fiercely.
“I needed that,” I muffled against his chest.
He sighed, still holding me close. “I’m sorry for not telling you before. Tamlin wanted me to, but I thought it would add to your confusion. Everything changed for you so fast.”
I shook my head against his chest. “I’m so happy you told me; I’m glad I have you.”
He kissed the crown of my head, and we stayed in the embrace just a couple more minutes, relishing in the bond we shared.
I took a deep breath before breaking the hug.
“Thank you. I needed that.”
“I did too.”
He walked me back to my room.
“Have a small nap. Nolwenn will be coming in a bit to help you get ready.”
“You’ll be here tonight, right?” Somehow now that I knew the truth we shared, I knew I’d feel better with him.
He gave me a half-smile, which was somehow lost in his thick beard. “Always.”
When I walked back in my room and the adrenaline started to fade, I actually realized how drained this projection caused me.
I lay on top of my bed and fell asleep almost immediately in a dreamless slumber.
It felt like I’d barely been asleep when I heard a knock at the door.
I groaned, turning around, and sighed as Nolwenn entered the room.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Princess, but we need to get you ready for tonight’s party.”
“Ah, yes, the party.” I blinked at her as I took in the huge cart she wheeled in and the gown hooked at the back of my door.
At least now that Nolwenn was allowed alone in my room, it was better as it was getting awkward with Yannick around.
She saw me eyeing the bag and smiled.
“Don’t you worry, Princess. You will love this dress, I’m sure.” She was not that stuck up now that we didn't have a guard, and I was happy about that too.
She extended me a small wooden basket with two bottles of pink and purple liquid.
“The purple is the bathing gel; the pink is the shampoo. Why don’t you go bathe while I set everything up?”
I nodded and I was grateful I was given the time to scrub up and wake up before she started to work on me.
This special shampoo made my hair even silkier and softer than the other one and the gel made my skin smell floral, almost like a mix of rose and magnolia, and gave my skin a strange glimmering hue.
When I exited the bathroom, I came face-to-face with a stunning black ball gown. The strapless sweetheart bodice was in a type of velvet with a silk lace-up at the back like a corset. The skirt was floor length, made of layers of tulle longer at the back, creating an ethereal train.
“This is… spectacular,” I said, not sure I was rendering justice to this beautiful work of art.
“This was one of your mother’s gowns.”
I turned toward Nolwenn, startled. She nodded and I looked at the dress again, seeing it differently now.
I brushed the soft body with my fingertips. “I’ll look like a princess.”
“That’s what you are,” she replied gently.
“Yeah…” I trailed off. Except that I should have had a mother and a father to teach me. I should have learned all my life and not been thrown into it with less than a month to be ready at the age of eighteen.
I was so scared to fail everyone, my people, myself, and my dead parents. I was terrified all the time, but I had to remain strong.
Nolwenn did my makeup, hair, and helped me in my dress in such an efficient way, it was clear she was experienced.
She let my brown hair flow down my back in gentle waves. She used some black kohl around my eyes, making them even move silver and my lips bright red which was striking with my pale skin and black dress.
I felt beautiful and strong, undefeatable. I stood straighter and turned toward Nolwenn as someone knocked at my door.
She smiled at me. “You will be a majestic queen.”
She opened the door for me, and I was surprised to see General Woods in his full military uniform.
He jerked his head toward her to leave before bowing down at me with a small smile.
“Princess, you are just as impressive as your mother.” This compliment warmed my heart.
“Thank you, General.” I bowed my head a little as the tutor showed me.
He walked into my room and extended a box.
I opened it to find a ring with a huge ruby on it.
“Aidan told me to give it to you. This was your mother’s engagement ring, the symbol of her royalty, and I agree with Aidan; you should have it.”
I took the ring, my hand shaking with emotions.
“I would have loved to know them,” I admitted almost in a whisper as I slid the ring on my finger.
Tamlin’s father remained silent for a few seconds, making me look up, and for once I saw the emotions in his usual placid face, the grief.
He extended his arm to me. “I know you would have been more comfortable going to the ball with anyone else, but I’m the acting government since your father—my king…” He trailed off. “It was better for me to introduce you, show my support for your return.”
I nodded, taking his arm before we walked out to the ballroom he was taking me to. Even though Aidan said not to go with anyone but Yannick, I’m sure being escorted by General Woods would be alright. “I don’t mind. I’m just not certain you like me very much.”
His pace faltered at my words. “I don’t dislike you, Princess, quite the contrary.” He took a deep breath. “You are the daughter of my best friend, my brother in everything but in blood. I remember holding you when you were a tiny babe, swearing my life to you.” He rested his hand on top of mine. “I think you will be a magnificent queen, but I can’t help but worry about some of the choices you are making.”
I knew he meant he
was strongly opposed to Tamlin and me being together… if we still were together because no matter what Aidan had said, he had not tried too hard to come see me.
We stopped in front of enormous golden doors.
“Ready?”
I took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be,” I replied as they opened the door and I stepped into the room.
Chapter 19
Everything went eerily quiet as we stood on top of the stairs, my hand clutching General Woods’ arm very tightly.
“Breathe,” he whispered.
A man dressed in some sort of weird red-and-black uniform and standing at the bottom of the stairs tapped his long golden baton.
“Princess Fay of Heulwen and General Woods,” he announced loudly.
As people in the room bowed, I quickly scanned it and some of my tension faded as I met Tamlin’s eyes and saw the state of awe in them. I smiled.
We went down the stairs slowly as the people parted to give us way.
As we walked to the back of the room, General Woods stopped, introducing me to people along the way. Some Lords and Ladies, other noble bloods, other dignitaries, high military, members of the council, etc., although I forgot their names as soon as I passed. I followed protocol to a T, extended my hand when I needed to. Bowed my head when necessary, used all the proper words. Behaved like the perfect princess.
“You did great; the tutor changed you into a worthy queen-to-be.”
“I’ve already forgotten all of their names,” I replied as I took my seat on the red velvet throne on the estrade at the back of the room.
“This is what I’m here for, as well as Aidan and… my son too,” he added quite reluctantly.
People came one after the other, introducing themselves in more detail as others got their food from the buffet and sat down to eat.
Aidan brought me food and drink directly from the kitchen. I guess they were scared my food would be tampered with.
“Soon you will have to open the ball,” General Woods announced as the musicians took their places. “You know how to dance, don’t you?”
“The tutor taught me the two main dances; I’ve practiced with Aidan a few times.” I looked to my left and saw Tamlin resting his back against the wall. “Do I get to pick who I’m opening the ball with?”
