by JA Huss
I realize I’ve been holding my breath and I let it out in a soft huff of air.
I don’t deserve him.
I don’t deserve his love, or his loyalty, or his faith and dedication.
“Shh,” he says again. “Stop it. Stop thinking about the past. There is no yesterday, remember? There is only now.”
I lean into him and press my lips against his. But I don’t kiss him and he doesn’t kiss me, either.
We just stay like that for a moment.
And then, with no words at all, we become something else.
Something new.
I place my hands on his shoulders and gently urge him to lie back. He smirks at me as he gives in, his hands sliding up to fondle my breasts. I lean down and my hair drags across his chest as I scoot back and kiss my way down his stomach as my hands trail behind. I stop and look up at him when I get to his zipper.
His expression is something between heated lust and unbelievable luck.
“Why are you looking at me that way?”
He reaches for the long strands of pink hair hovering over his stomach, playing with them. “You know why,” he says.
“Because you’ve been dreaming about this day for eight years”—he chuckles—“and now you’re not sure if this is real, or the ultimate sexual fantasy?”
“Yeah, that’s it.” He says this through a smile.
“Well, let me clear it up for you, Vann Vaughn. This is real. This is going to be your ultimate sexual fantasy come true.”
I sit up and swing one leg over the side, then pull his jeans and briefs down until his cock springs out. I take it in my palm, wrapping my hand around it, my eyes locked on his until he closes them and his whole body relaxes. I kiss the tip of his cock and chills explode on his body. I open my mouth, ease my head down over his cock, and seal my lips against his shaft.
He grips my hair and lifts his hips up slightly. I bob down, flattening my tongue against his shaft and pressing my lips tight as I lift back up.
“Jesus, Belinda,” Vann moans.
I do it again. Then again. And again. Each time going a little bit faster, taking him a little bit deeper in my throat. All the while I keep my eyes locked on his face, just staring at his perfect manly beauty.
He opens them suddenly, but his lids are heavy with desire, his mouth pressed into a flat line of concentration as he watches me.
That turns me on. And I let one hand slip between my legs so I can play with myself.
“Ah, no,” he whispers in a husky, throaty voice. “That won’t do.”
His leg comes up, hooking around my hip, and the next thing I know his cock has slipped out of my mouth and I’m on my back.
I squeal and begin scooting up the bed. He places his body over mine, grabbing my knees and spreading them wide open just as I hit the backboard. He grabs my thighs, pulls me towards him so I’m nearly flat again, and then he reaches for my hand and places my fingertips over my pussy.
“If you’re gonna do that,” he says, “I’m gonna watch properly.”
I begin massaging my clit. And for a moment his eyes linger on mine. But only a moment. He glances down, watching as I play with myself. I feel a little blush of embarrassment. I have never done something like this with a man before. At least not with the lights on and not with a partner paying such close attention.
So. Yeah. It’s a little weird. But I don’t care. The tingle that started a few minutes ago is now a full-on throbbing.
And then his thumbs part the lips of my pussy and I suck in a breath of air filled with anticipation as he lowers his mouth and begins licking me, flicking the tip of his tongue around my fingers, but never directly coming into contact with my clit.
“Don’t tease me,” I beg.
“It’s not a tease. It’s a promise,” he whispers, his lips so close to that sweetest of spots, his words just low enough to vibrate the sensitive skin of my folds.
And then he brushes my hand away and his mouth covers my pussy, his tongue frantically flicking and licking. My hips buck and my back arches from the sudden explosion of pleasure that pulses through my body.
I want to come. Like… immediately. But then again, I never want this to stop. I want to linger in the bliss of being just a moment or two away from a full climactic release.
And just when I decide that I can’t take it anymore—I can’t possibly hold off the explosion that’s coming—he pulls back.
“Noooooo,” I moan softly.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers back, now kissing the inside of my thighs. “You’re gonna come tonight, Belinda. At least twice. But I want to do too many things to you to let that happen yet.”
He slips one arm underneath me and repositions himself between my legs so his head is resting on my inner thigh. His breath tickles along my skin and then he slides his hand up to my breasts. He pulls my bra down, exposing my nipple to the air, making it hard and erect.
“Play with that,” he says, then lightly flits his fingertips down my stomach until he gets to the curve of my mound. I open my legs a little wider and bite my lip with agonizing anticipation.
He fingers my clit and I gasp when he slowly pushes his fingers deep inside me. I hold my breath as he eases them in and out. My body begins to uncontrollably squirm and then I wriggle backwards, because I’m going to lose it if he keeps going.
Vann doesn’t relent. He begins pumping me harder. Faster. Slicking up the inside of my pussy until I can feel the wetness spilling out and running down towards my asshole.
I try. I really try to hold it together. Because I want to make this moment last. I want to feel this way forever and hold it in my memory. But just as I think I might have all my primal urges under control, his mouth lowers down to my clit and his tongue swirls around and around as the pleasure inside me grows. Rising with each passing moment.
And then I’m there. At the cusp of something truly and spectacularly erotic.
“Now,” he whispers, his words once again vibrating against my folds.
There is no fight left in me. I am weak with my desire and I want nothing more than to obey his soft command.
I come all over his fingers as he presses his whole mouth over my pussy and flicks his tongue against my clit.
My back arches off the mattress and my lips part as a long, low moan escapes.
I lose track of everything in this moment. Sparks flit through my head. The world tips sideways and then spins. Time stops, and my mind goes blank, and everything disappears except for this one moment of pure bliss.
I lie there spent in the wake of a perfect sexual storm, breathing heavy as my heart races inside my chest.
But Vann doesn’t stop. He’s easing his way up my body, kissing my breasts, nipping at my fully erect nipple, then my neck, then my ear, then my mouth.
I kiss him back with lust. I grab his hair, holding his face up to mine as he knees my legs open and the tip of his cock presses into the wet opening of my pussy.
I want to touch him all over as his thick, hard cock stretches me open. And even though I’m not one of those girls who comes more than once, I feel those primal urges inside me building all over again. Like that was just the first hill on the sexy rollercoaster we’re on.
One hand grips his shoulder tight. My nails dig in to the armor tattoo that covers it in ink while the other hand slides down the tight muscles of his torso and then I grab his ass through his jeans, which are pulled down just enough to give him access.
I slip my hand inside his jeans and hold him tight, feeling the muscles beneath as he plunges deep inside me and then slowly withdraws, only to do it all again.
I grip him like I never want to let go. And he fucks me hard, thrusting deep, then deeper—until he’s so far inside me we become one being. Until we are no longer two separate people, but a single entity.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
“Yes,” I moan back.
“No…” he says. “We forgot… we’re not using… I have to pul
l out, Belinda.”
“Shit.”
He goes still for a moment. And while normally this would ease the building climax, it does the complete opposite for me. The sensation of his massive cock going still inside me just makes me want him more.
I reach for his face. Hold tight in my hands as I kiss his lips. And then I come a second time. Even more of my lust spilling out all over his cock.
“Oh, fuck,” he says.
I enjoy my climax for two more moments. And then I push him back.
His eyes go wide with surprise. “What—”
But I keep pushing until he falls backwards, laughing as he repositions his legs. I plant my hands on either side of his hips and smirk down at him.
“Fuck that,” I say. “I’m not letting you just pull out and come. Fuck that. I promised you the ultimate sexual-fantasy experience and that’s what you’re going to get.”
I grab his cock with both hands. It’s slick with my own come. And then I grin at him as I slide my mouth down over the tip of his dick.
And then I blow him like a fucking porn star.
I’m talking a two-fisted sliding hand job.
I’m talking I take him so deep, I gag myself.
I’m talking holding myself in that position and swallowing hard so he can feel the muscles of my throat.
And then I ease back, slowly releasing the seal of my lips on his shaft until his cock pops out, a string of saliva still connecting us. “Now it’s your turn,” I say.
He looks at me with wild, bewildered lust.
But then he wraps my hair around his fists and pushes me back down.
I take him deeper and this time, when I make a big deal about tightening my muscles around the tip of his cock, he comes right down my throat.
He holds me there until I’m desperate for air.
But I let him.
And then he releases me and pulls my head up, come spilling past my lips and dripping down onto his bare stomach.
He grabs my arms, urging me to crawl up his body. But I’m already there, Vann. I’m already there.
I kiss his stomach, and his chest, and his neck. And then I whisper right up next to his ear, “We are a love story in the making, Vann Vaughn. And I expect us to get that happy ending.”
He wraps his arms around my back, holding me tight against his chest. “That’s a promise I will keep, Belinda Baker.”
I’m a realist. I had those fears about us getting together for a reason. I know he can’t keep that promise. It’s not empty, but it’s not his to make.
But you know what?
I decide to believe him anyway.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - TONY
I wake up thoroughly confused, unsure of the day, let alone the time.
I glance around and find a clock. It reads nine oh four. Assuming that’s AM, since there’s a hazy sunshine filtering past all her beaded curtains, I take a moment to process that.
Because… I slept. Like a real fucking sleep.
After nearly three months of tossing and turning and getting just enough sleep to get through a day, I finally slept through the night.
Soshee is next to me. I can feel her body pressing against mine. All soft and warm, and if I’m being honest, comforting. And when I turn my head, I see her face half-hidden by her long, messy, scarlet hair.
I smile and reach for her, pulling her into my arms as I play back the last thing I remember before I passed out.
We had sex. Really good sex. And then… nothing. Did I fall asleep after sex?
Jesus Christ. That was the middle of the afternoon and now it’s morning. I must’ve passed out for… damn. Like eighteen hours.
I should feel great. And I do feel better. But I would not call it great.
It’s not Soshee, who didn’t wake when I pulled her close to me, just hummed a little and snuggled into my embrace. Everything regarding her is fine. At least, it feels fine to me.
So this sense of not-greatness is not related to her. It’s something else.
Maybe I’m nervous because I have to leave soon? I can’t stay here forever. I need to go home and get back to my regularly scheduled life.
But that’s not what I’m unsettled about, either.
I don’t have to do anything. I’m the boss of me. I own my own business and I’m pretty sure Jesse Boston is having the time of his life running that business for me. He loves the ocean. And sailboats. I’m not paying him, but he doesn’t need money anyway. He wants to fit in. He told me that. He likes the Dumas family. Loves us, actually. Handling my clients for me is exactly the kind of job he needs to fill his empty days while Emma’s at work.
So I’m not worried about him and that means the idea of leaving Colorado isn’t what’s bothering me. Jesse might, eventually, start to miss my sister and want to go home. But Emma is in Europe on business again. What the fuck else is Jesse gonna do while she’s making millions of Bright Berry Beach dollars?
I could totally stay here for a while. Soshee only has… what? A month left on this apartment lease? She has to go somewhere after that. And I’m thinking about talking her into taking that crappy car of hers on a road trip to Key West. We could check out shitty tourist attractions, and eat junk food, and break down every other day. She and I could start a brand-new life together.
I smile just picturing it. Then start wondering if I’m insane. I mean, I’ve only known this girl for two full days and I’ve already got her packed up and on a cross-country road trip with me so we can shack up together in my Dumas family cottage.
Then again… Alonzo is living with a girl he virtually dated for two years before he met her. So is this really any stranger than that?
Besides, we’ve already had four dates.
OK, OK, OK. Yes. We spent the first two dates with her lusting over Vann Vaughn and me trying to hate-fuck Belinda out of my life. But they were still pretty cool dates. We had lunch, and dinner, and wine. And we talked. A lot.
They count.
Plus I slept over. And I met her mother. So these two days are like six months in new-relationship years. We jumped in with both feet and didn’t even check the temperature of the water first.
Isn’t that how love is done? Don’t you just… fall into it? Isn’t that the whole point?
I’m pretty sure it is.
So if it’s not the business and it’s not Soshee, then what the hell is bothering me?
I stare up at the ceiling for a few minutes, trying to make sense of this vague feeling of uneasiness.
It’s probably the whole FBI thing. I mean, that’s kind of a big deal and my family is in it up to our ears. There’s the witness protection program. And the little dog from the coffee shop next to Sick Boyz has to mean something.
All that stuff is important. Maybe even very important.
But that’s not it either. It should be it. All three of the things I listed as possibilities should be my major problem.
But they just aren’t.
I push the covers off me and swing my legs out of bed. Soshee moans and turns over, flashing me her perfect breasts in the process.
“Are you awake?” I ask.
She groans and makes a face. Then cracks open one eye. “Holy shit, he’s alive.”
“I slept forever, huh?”
“You just flat passed out.” She props herself up on one elbow and smiles at me. It takes all my self-control not to look at her tits when she does that. And when I succeed, I feel pretty proud of myself. Because damn, they are spectacular. “I was checking your breathing with a mirror,” she continues. “I guess you were exhausted. Did I wear you out?”
“No.” I chuckle. “I hadn’t been sleeping very well over the past few months.”
“Months? Jesus. You must really have something on your mind if it’s lasted months. I’ve gone through a few bouts of insomnia.” She winces. “But if I’m being honest, they were mostly all about Vann.”
“Stayed up late stalking him?”
“T
hat and… you know. It feels kinda shitty when you have a crush on someone and they don’t feel the same way back.”
“Yeah. I agree.”
“Because you felt that way about Belinda?” She frowns. “Rosalie?”
“Rosalinda.” I chuckle.
Soshee points at me. “Yeah. Her.”
“No.” I sigh. “I never did feel that way about her. I mean…” I don’t know how to explain this. “Of course, there were lingering feelings. But they were not of the love-sick variety.”
“What variety were they?”
“You know.” I shrug. “Break-up hate. Or… something.”
“Break-up hate.”
“Yeah.” I sigh again. “I can’t explain it.”
“No, I get it. You were stuck.”
“Yeah. Stuck.”
“So how did you get unstuck?”
“Do you want me to be honest?”
She sits up in bed. “Of course.”
“Well, I’m not sure I am unstuck.”
“Hmm,” she hums.
“Are you sure you want to talk about this? It’s over. Very over.”
“Doesn’t seem over. You just said you might not be unstuck.”
“I did say that. But that’s not what I meant.”
“You fucked her behind Sick Boyz two days ago, Tony.”
“Yes.”
“And before you point out that I fucked Vann inside Sick Boyz two days ago as well, I get it. But I’ve sorted through my feelings for Vann. I just want to make sure you have sorted through your feelings for Belinda too.”
