I had only been sitting there for ten minutes before they called my name, and the walk back to the exam room was the longest of my life. The whole way there I kept telling myself I could just go home and take a pregnancy test, that I didn’t need to go through all of this. It was ridiculous and excessive. I wasn’t even sure if I was pregnant. I was probably just wasting everybody’s time.
But before I could say any of that out loud I was in the exam room and the nurse had shut the door and was giving me instructions on what to do with the plastic cup and where to put it after I was done.
Then there was the excruciatingly long wait, sitting in that little room and staring at the posters on the walls and ceiling. I pretty much had the cross-section of the male reproductive organs memorized by the time a knock came at the door.
“Hi, Shane. I’m Dr. Lewis,” he said as he opened the exam room door, then shut it behind him. “How are you today?”
“Okay, I guess,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I felt like I was about to be given a talking-to buy my dad. I was slouched over with my hands in my lap, and my feet were dangling off the end of the stupid exam table. I knew how much trouble I was probably in.
“According to the test results you’re pregnant. Congratulations. Is your partner here in the waiting room? Would you like to bring him in?”
“No, that’s okay. I’m here with a friend, and I think he’s kind of busy out there anyway. So, uh, what’s the next step.”
“Well, it entirely depends on what you and your partner want. We’ll get you started on some prenatal vitamins and set you up on a diet that supports what your body will be going through over the next six months.”
“Okay,” I said, looking around the room nervously. “But … what if I don’t … I mean …”
“Oh, are you not sure about keeping the baby?”
“Well, I don’t know. This is all happening so fast. I hadn’t really thought about what I was going to do if the test came back positive.”
“Do you have a regular partner, Shane?” the doctor asked.
“No, not really.”
“How many partners have you had in the last year?”
“Um … you mean, like, actual intercourse partners?” I was feeling more and more like a stupid little kid as the seconds passed. Like I had no idea what I was doing and had no business pretending I was an adult.
“Any sexual contact, whether it’s anal or oral, is considered sex, Shane. And it’s all capable of transmitting disease.”
“Oh, okay then, I guess it would be about …” I looked up at the ceiling for a moment while I counted in my head. “Thirty or forty maybe?” But I knew I’d said the wrong thing when I looked back at the doctor and saw a flash of surprise in his eyes. There it was, the judgment I’d been afraid of. I wished I could erase the last few seconds and just lie. Even if I’d said ten or fifteen I would’ve felt like less of a freak then blurting out forty. The crazy thing was, I totally lowballed that number.
“I’m going to have the nurse do a blood draw. Before we talk about anything else you really need to take an HIV test.”
“But … no … wait … it wasn’t all intercourse. That only happened this last time. The rest of them … they were just …”
“Oral? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Yeah,” I said, hunching my shoulders even lower and hanging my head down. I felt like such a freak. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be telling this doctor about my sexual past. It was nobody else’s business but mine, and I didn’t feel like being judged for it on top of everything else. “Yeah, the rest were all oral.”
“Well, there’s still a risk of transmitting disease that way, Shane,” Dr. Lewis said as he put his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t want you to feel bad about any of this. The test is for your own good. To make sure that you’re okay, and that the baby will be born healthy. I’m not going to ask you anything else about your sexual partners, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me anything.”
The doctor walked out of the room and left me there. I had to admit he was a lot cooler than I was expecting, and by the time he came back in with the nurse to draw my blood I was feeling a little better. I still had to figure out what the hell I was going to do about the baby, but for now I figured I had enough to worry about with this whole HIV thing. I guess I hadn’t even thought about it. About how stupid and irresponsible I’d been this last year.
But it’s not like I was craving random dicks every night. I did want to be with one person, but I guess I just didn’t know how to find them.
Chapter 6
Austin
It was next to impossible for me to concentrate on anything with Shane Ackerman in the room. I couldn’t think straight and I could barely form a coherent sentence. When I left the room the other day it was so that I didn’t attack him right there in front of the entire class. All I could think about was throwing him up against the wall and grinding my hard cock into his.
As I passed by him on the way out of the room I noticed there was something slightly different in his scent. I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure he was pregnant. Now that I’d knotted inside him I seemed to be particularly tuned into his scent. But not only that, I was painfully drawn to it.
I was disappointed, but thankful, when he didn’t show up to class the next day. I was able to teach without any disruption, and function like a normal adult. But as soon as class was over my mind went to Shane. Where was he? Was he planning on telling the administration what happened between the two of us? Was he going to turn me in? Was he thinking about me too?
When he showed up for class the next day I was relieved. But with that relief came another wave of fear, because his scent immediately surrounded me and made my cock impossibly hard. I had to silently recite the ingredients of one of my favorite recipes, coq au vin, over and over until my cock went back down and I was able to teach class.
I tried to force myself into instructor mode, where I blocked out all my emotions and senses, but it didn’t work as well as it had in the past. Every time I glance toward Shane my eyes were immediately drawn to his, and I pictured the wall-slamming scenario all over again.
I knew I had to talk to him and clear the air. I was pretty sure he was pregnant by his scent alone, and there was no use trying to avoid the inevitable. Shane was a smart kid. I figured he would understand my need to keep things quiet, but the pregnancy was much more touchy. I wasn’t sure what he would expect from me, and how he would react to my suggestion. I hoped things would go smoothly, but if they didn’t … well … I guess this was about to be the biggest learning experience of my life.
But I couldn’t live with myself any longer without admitting to him that it was me in that bathroom. I was sure he knew, but keeping silent and avoiding responsibility was not the kind of man I was. He deserved the consideration of me acknowledging what had happened, no matter how badly the outcome might affect me.
“Mr. Ackerman. I’d like to have a word with you after class if you have a moment.”
I saw the look of panic in his eyes when he heard those words, and suddenly all I could think about was how incredible he would look with his pants down, bent over my desk, with my hand mark on his ass. Immediately my cock started to thicken in my pants. Thankfully the other students were all talking and making noise as they left, and by the time everyone else was gone, and Shane stood up and gathered his things, my cock had gone back down.
The problem was, the closer he came to my desk the stronger his scent became, and by the time he was standing in front of me I was hard again. I felt like a fucking lecherous old man with that young, lithe body in front of me, and those eyes looking so scared and innocent. It made me wonder what he thought I was going to do to him, and that thought almost made me smile.
But just as I was about to open my mouth Shane beat me to the punch.
“Are you going to talk to me about the other night?”
Sudde
nly I felt like I’d just been kicked in the stomach. He did know. But why wouldn’t he. He saw me every day, he had to have recognized my voice, or my scent … or both. “I’d like to apologize to you,” I said after along pause. “I never intended to have relations with one of my students. It was a terrible mistake, and—”
“I’m pregnant, Professor Dylan.”
I loosened my tie a bit and cleared my throat. “Yes, I’m aware of that.” I could feel drips of sweat trickling down my back. It didn’t matter what I thought about or how many deep breaths I took, I couldn’t stop thinking about taking this young man over my knee.
“How did you know?” His big brown eyes grew even wider and he gripped the strap of his bookbag hard like he was hanging on for dear life. His voice was quivering and his knees actually looked like they were shaking. It was all I could do to take a deep breath and try to keep myself under control. This young man was just so perfect.
“Your scent. I smelled the … intensity, as well as the slight change the minute you walked in the classroom after … well, after that night. I wasn’t positive, but I had a feeling that was the case. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I should have. But, as you may know, this is a very sensitive matter. If the administration were to find out about this indiscretion I could lose my ability to teach in this state or maybe even the country. I was only thinking of myself. But it’s you I want to discuss right now.”
“You don’t have to worry about me, Professor Dylan.”
“Please, call me Austin. After all …” I started, but didn’t continue. What would I say? After all, we fucked in a gas station bathroom, so we’re well past any formalities?
“Okay,” Shane said, squirming back and forth from foot to foot. “Austin. That sounds funny, though.”
“Well, what would you prefer to call me?” I asked, feeling myself treading into dangerous territory. The word Sir popped into my head and I felt myself flush. I had to get away from this young man. I couldn’t think straight when I was near him.
“I don’t know. Whatever you want me to call you, I guess. I’m just not sure if I can call you Austin. It doesn’t seem right,” he said with the most adorable grin.
His face turned about three shades of red in the next few seconds and I had a hard time remembering what it was I wanted to say to him. “Well, let’s stick with Professor Dylan, then.” I saw a look of relief on Shane’s face and was brought back to earth for a moment. The pregnancy. That’s what I wanted to talk about. “But what we really need to discuss is your situation. Have you been in to see a doctor?”
“Yes, that’s why I know for sure. They talked to me about the different options, and I’m still not sure what I want to do.”
“You mean whether or not you want to keep the baby? Are you considering another option?” I asked, my heart sinking a bit.
“To be honest, Professor Dylan, I don’t even know what I’m considering. This has all been so surprising and has happened so fast. I want a baby, I know that much, but I’m still getting my undergraduate degree, and I have three years to go. I feel like it would ruin my chances of finishing and moving on to graduate school. But, I dont know. I just can’t …”
“You can’t bear the thought of not keeping it?”
“Yeah, that’s it. It’s crazy, but there’s a part of me that wants to keep the baby. Or maybe give it up for adoption. After six months maybe I’ll have a better idea of what I want to do. But I promise, I won’t tell anyone. Even when my belly gets as big as a house, I won’t tell anyone it was you.”
I felt a sudden rush of emotion that I hadn’t experienced in such a long time. I’d stuffed everything down for so long I’d completely forgotten what it was like to care for a mate, and wish for a baby.
This sweet, kind, and incredibly sexy young man was looking at me like I had all the answers, and I wanted to have all the answers for him. There was a big part of me that wanted to take him under my wing and mentor him. Not just in his studies, but also in being a submissive.
I wanted to be there for this young man. I wanted to take care of him and help him through this difficult decision. He shouldn’t have to do this all alone, and I was responsible for his current situation. I had to do something but I didn’t know what.
I felt like I didn’t know how to be an alpha anymore. That I’d forgotten what it was like to defend my omega to the death. Ten years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about taking care of my pregnant mate, but I wasn’t the same person anymore. And this young man deserved much more than I could give him.
“I want you to know I will support you financially in any decision that you make, Shane. If you decide to keep the baby I’ll take full financial responsibility for everything. You won’t have to worry about a thing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment I have to get to.”
I quickly gathered my papers and put them in my briefcase, then walked out of the room. It just about killed me to leave that boy standing there after I’d just lied to him. I had no appointment. All I had to look forward to was a long night alone in my house.
I just couldn’t look into his eyes any longer. Every single time they locked with mine I felt a pull in my heart that I couldn’t bear. I couldn’t go through this again. I couldn’t let myself care about another omega … or about our unborn child.
Chapter 7
Shane
I watched Professor Dylan walk away from me down the hall with heavy, purposeful strides. There was something about him, even from far away, that oozed forcefulness and control. Complete and utter dominance. I fell against the wall and closed my eyes for a moment. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.
There was no way I could raise a baby by myself and continue with college. I could kid myself all I wanted, but the reality of the situation was, I was single. I wouldn’t have any help with raising the baby or my homework or paying bills, so if I wanted to continue with my degree there was really no way I’d be able to keep it.
I knew I could handle the pregnancy while I was in school, though. I could probably even give birth in the middle of the fall semester if I had to, then put the baby up for adoption when it was due around Christmastime. There were plenty of women who were unable to conceive who desperately wanted a baby of their own. I could give that gift to someone. I knew I could do it.
But the thing was, I didn’t know if I wanted to. After carrying my own child inside me for six months I might change my mind. Maybe I would see my baby in that first moment after birth and fall in love. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to give it away. But if that turned out to be the case my college career was most definitely over. I would have to go to work to support us. There would be no time for classes or homework.
But that wasn’t the whole problem. Now that I knew who the father was I couldn’t stop thinking about him. And I had a hard time not thinking about Professor Dylan before any of this happened. I mean, even though I knew I couldn’t have him, that he would never choose an inexperienced kid like me, he had always been my ideal.
Then, after that night in the gas station bathroom, when that anonymous stranger affected me so strongly—without me even catching a glimpse of him—my mind was filled with thoughts of who he was and what he looked like. In those moments, when I was jerking off to that voice and scent and amazing knot, it was Professor Dylan’s face I pictured. But I never actually thought it could’ve been him. Those images in my head were just a fantasy, until now.
Now that I knew it was him I wanted him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life, but I couldn’t have him. I knew that. And he clearly didn’t want me anyway.
I felt my heart sink into my stomach as I trudged out to my car and drove home. All night I lay in bed weighing the pros and cons. I could go through with the pregnancy, then give the baby up for adoption, or keep it. There was a third option, but that was just too horrible to consider.
I sat through class the next day, barely able to look up at Professor Dylan once durin
g the entire hour. I just stared at the doodles I was making on the paper in front of me. Stick figure images of me and my baby that eventually became a landscape with a house, and a yard, and a bright, smiling sun in the sky. Eventually I doodled a mate into the picture. A tall, dark figure that stood next to me and held my hand in his.
When class ended and the students around me got up to leave, I snapped back to reality and realized that the other figure in the image was Professor Dylan. That was what I wanted. Professor Dylan and our baby. I couldn’t pretend anymore. I decided I had to tell him how I felt. If he told me to get lost I would, but I had to know if he felt anything for me at all. If he’d experienced the same connection as I had that night.
I got up and shuffled out of the auditorium with everyone else, but I waited at one end of the hallway until Professor Dylan left. I let him get far enough ahead of me that he wouldn’t notice I was behind him, then I followed him to his office. I watched him go inside and I stood there, halfway down the hall, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.
Finally I walked over to his office door. I had to just do it. Like I was pulling off a bandaid. Even if he told me to leave—that I couldn’t be in his class anymore—or he laughed or got angry, I had to tell him how I felt. Because that was the one thing that I hadn’t done yesterday. I told him about the baby and I told him about the clinic visit, but I didn’t tell him how much I wanted him. I didn’t tell him how deeply the sound of his voice resonated inside me when I heard him speak, and how intense my desire was to submit to him.
I tentatively knocked on the door. It was probably too soft and quiet and I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me. But just as I started to knock again I heard his deep, sexy voice. All he said was yes, but that one word sent shockwaves throughout my body. Suddenly I was terrified and felt incredibly foolish. There was no way someone so perfect could want someone like me.
Portville Summer Series: The Complete Collection Books 1-4: (MM Nonshifter Omegaverse) Page 24
