Mr. Strickland squeezed my fingers. “It means the ectoplasm couldn’t be removed by hand. I’ll have a word with Mr. Castle to make sure he understands these kinds of exercises aren’t appropriate with first-year students.”
I didn’t miss the glance Mr. Strickland and Ms. Farkas exchanged. Something else was going on. Something they didn’t want to discuss in front of me.
Great, more secrets. She also didn’t seem at all surprised that I’d attacked Castle with my powers, despite the dampeners. But before I could ask again, Ms. Farkas said, “You won’t need to stay any longer. The healer is happy for you to return to your room. I’ve informed all of your teachers to avoid practical exercises until we know what we’re dealing with.”
Dinner was over when I crossed the square on my way to the dorm. I kept my head down as I walked past groups of students soaking up the last few rays of sun before it turned dark. But wherever I passed, the conversation quieted down amid curious glances.
By the time I got to my room, all I wanted was to hide under my cover and feel sorry for myself. My first full day of school. What a disaster. Beth and Sharon were still out so I had the place to myself. Which was great for the first half hour. I scavenged some protein bars from Beth’s stash and munched them in my bed.
Then I got bored. And with that, the negative self-talk kicked in. You’ve only got yourself to blame. If you could control yourself better, none of this would have happened.
Curling into a ball, I tried to digest what had happened today. A little ray of hope had grown in Mrs. Palmer’s class, only to be brutally crushed by Castle. I’d ended up with a Goddamn heart attack. I could have died, and my family wouldn’t have found out until much later.
Was that my punishment for ending the lives of innocent bystanders? I curled up tighter and stuffed my fist into my mouth. Desperate sobs threatened to tear my chest apart. Nobody cared if I lived or died. Not Beth, not Julian, not Ms. Farkas. How could they? How could anybody feel sorry for a murderer? I deserved everything dished out to me.
Something heavy jumped onto my legs and burrowed under the cover. A rough tongue licked at my face, cleaning the tears from my cheek. Slug. I still hadn’t gotten around to washing him properly, but I didn’t care.
He struggled for a moment when I gripped him too tightly, but soon relaxed and snuggled up to me. His chest vibrated with a deep purr like an old sewing machine. I heaved a sigh, and Slug pushed his bony head against my chin. His whiskers tickled my skin, and I giggled. At least I had one friend who loved me. Even if he was just a dumb, smelly animal.
I woke up with Slug’s bulk on my chest, purring in rhythm with my breathing. When I tried to move, Slug opened one eye, before pushing his heavy paw onto my face. He didn’t have to speak for me to understand.
Don’t move, human. It’s too early.
He wasn’t wrong. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. But I’d gone to bed early last night and didn’t feel like lounging under the covers anymore. Beth was fast asleep in her bed across the room, and Sharon’s bed was empty. Maybe she had a boyfriend with a single dorm room and wasn’t worried about breaking school rules.
Frankly, I didn’t care. I was just glad not having to see her face first thing in the morning. Staring at the ceiling, I held still for another few minutes. Then I tried to slide out from under Slug’s bulk again, but the cat wasn’t having any of it.
He wiggled hard to keep me in place, and when that didn’t work, he jumped off the bed and stalked away, his tail swishing to and fro in irritation. Great, now I felt guilty about offending him. Sighing, I vowed to feed him his favorite snack, once I’d found out what it was.
14
I must have fallen asleep again, because Beth woke me up. The sun was up and hitting me squarely in the face. "Amber."
I grunted, not ready to open my eyes. She grabbed my shoulder and shook it. "Amber. Come on, get up. You'll be late."
I opened my eyes just as Beth pulled the cover off me. Her eyes were wide as she said, “I heard about you passing out in PE. Are you okay?”
Her concern was written all over her face, but I didn't want to talk about my near-death experience first thing in the morning. Putting on a fake smile, I said, "It was nothing. Just got a bit dehydrated. You know, PE."
She clearly didn't believe me, but didn’t push. It wasn't until I’d washed my face and gotten dressed that I noticed how pale she looked. "What about you? Did you sleep badly?"
Beth sat down heavily on my bed, staring into the distance. Then she covered her face with her hands, muffling her next words. "I got some bad news. Last night after dinner, my father showed up."
She rubbed the palms of her hands over her face as if to wipe away bad memories. I wanted to ask how come he was able to visit, and my parents weren’t, but kept my mouth shut. Not the time, not the place. I really wanted to hear why that had upset her so much. So I sat down on the bed and nodded for her to continue.
"I learned something about my heritage I didn’t expect."
That sounded cryptic. I waited, hoping for more information. Beth stayed silent for a few heartbeats. As I watched, her eyes filled with tears. Oh no. I never knew what to do when people cried in front of me. Thankfully she swiped at her eyes and held it together. She took a deep breath as if to steel herself. "Remember how I said I wasn't here voluntarily?"
I nodded.
"I’m not from an old magical family. My father doesn't have any magical powers, and my mother died when I was very young. Losing my mom was bad enough. But the other kids didn’t like me. It got worse once I started school. They knew I wasn’t like them. My family wasn’t—isn’t—religious so we were already different.”
Beth stopped again. I was waiting impatiently to get to the interesting part. Because, yeah, a lot of people got bullied in school. It was nearly a rite of passage. So what made her so different?
When she spoke again, I had to listen carefully to catch her words.
“To me, it was normal to play in the garden, to plant all the vegetables we ever needed, and to win every competition in the county. I once won a prize for the largest pumpkin. It weighed more than fifteen hundred pounds. My dad had to hire a forklift to bring it to the county fair. It even made the Guinness World Records, until a few years back a dude in Germany grew one that weighed like a thousand pounds more. I was pissed at that, let me tell you."
I burst out laughing. I couldn't even imagine a pumpkin that size. Beth gave me a tremulous smile. "Yeah, I know. It's really not that important in the scheme of things, but at the time, I was devastated. But pumpkins weren’t the only things that grew humongous in my garden. We had zucchini the size of baseball bats and tomatoes like bowling balls. It was normal to me, but after the pumpkin, my dad made sure we harvested and chopped everything up before any of the neighbors ever saw it."
"Why?" My parents would have bragged to anybody who cared to listen.
"I didn't understand it either until recently. When the fallout happened, and other kids suddenly showed magical abilities, my father finally told me what I’d thought of as my natural talent was anything but. Apparently I'd been”—she made air quotes with her fingers—”gifted from birth, although my parents weren't magical. I suppose he wanted to avoid drawing attention to me. Maybe he was afraid they'd take me away to a lab and cut me up to see what made me tick."
I nodded. That was a fear I could relate to. While my parents probably wouldn't have gone along with that, there were plenty of nutcases on the internet who wanted to do exactly that.
"Anyway, my father visited with me today with special permission by the head witch. He told me there were people who would try to come after me, even inside the academy. Amber, he scared the living daylights out of me."
Her wide eyes stared at me beseechingly as if I could help her. I didn’t know what to say. As if she’d read my thoughts, she took my hand. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just needed somebody to listen."
I squeezed back. "Let me know h
ow I can help."
"Thanks for being my friend. And if you see something weird, maybe let me know?"
I nodded. Although, in this place, something weird was kinda the norm, wasn't it?
I was looking forward to seeing Mrs. Palmer again. Last night, I’d dreamed about Mom. She’d waved at me from the distance, but no matter how hard I’d tried, I couldn’t reach her. I’d forgotten the dream when Slug had slapped me awake with his giant paw, but now it came rushing back.
Mrs. Palmer didn’t look like my mom at all, but there was something motherly about the teacher, despite her weird green eyes. As I entered the room, I stopped. Instead of Mrs. Palmer, Mr. Castle sat in the teacher’s chair, going through some notes.
Oh, crap. Not him first thing in the morning. Ms. Farkas had assured me I hadn’t hurt him yesterday, and he wouldn’t try to provoke me again, but I didn’t trust him. There was something about this guy that made my hair stand on end. When we’d all found our seats, he looked up.
“Good morning, class. Mrs. Palmer has been called away on council business, but she’s left instructions. According to her notes, you were beginning practical exercises to improve and expand your existing powers. Let’s see what you can do. Julian, if you please.”
For the next few minutes, Julian created small flames, extinguished them with miniature spouts of water, and blew hot and cold gusts at us.
“Very good. Do you also have any earth powers?”
Julian shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“That’s okay. Elemental powers all come from the same place, so you definitely have them. You just don’t know how to access them. Let’s try. Close your eyes and focus.”
Julian’s stance relaxed, and his face went slack.
“Now imagine your feet are growing roots into the ground. Really push them down. Feel how strong they are, how eager to tether you.”
Julian nodded. His stance changed subtly, his feet farther apart. His energy seemed to drop towards the ground.
“Focus on the strength they give you. Pull it up into your hands.”
His hands clenched into fists before opening them in front of his body with his palms up. A small green shoot appeared in his left hand, winding and swaying towards the ceiling. Tiny leaves pushed out from the stem until the plant was several inches tall.
“That’s it. Well done. This is earth magic.”
Julian opened his eyes, a broad grin breaking across his face. But as we watched, the new plant in his hand turned darker, starting at the top. Soon, the tip drooped and shriveled as decay wormed its way down towards his hand. Within seconds, the little plant was dead.
Everybody stared at Julian’s palm. He turned his hand over, and dark dust drifted to the ground. As one, we looked at Mr. Castle for an answer.
The teacher’s expression was pensive. Like us, he stared at Julian’s hand. He rubbed his chin, then said, “Do it again. Grow another plant and focus on its vitality.”
This time, Julian managed to grow the plant so tall that flower buds appeared at its top. Then the same thing happened. Green and red turned to black, and the plant wilted until it fell to dust.
Mr. Castle watched with rapt attention. His eyebrows drawn together, he waited until the end of the spectacle. He asked, “Have you ever been tested for any special powers?”
Julian shook his head. He looked so crestfallen that his little creations had died so quickly, I wanted to give him a hug. He lifted his head and looked straight at me. I smiled at him encouragingly. He nodded, but the sadness in his expression was haunting.
Mr. Castle interrupted our silent conversation, clapping his hands loudly. “Right, class. Let’s get somebody else up. Amber, come on. Show us what you got.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but Ms. Farkas told me I wasn’t allowed to.”
Castle nodded. “That’s correct. But there is nothing wrong with working on the very basics. You’re not afraid of meditation, are you? Might do you some good, given your record.”
I really didn’t like this guy. I certainly didn’t trust him not to embarrass me again. I remembered what Ms. Farkas had said two days ago. About staying in control and not losing my temper. Easier said than done. I took a deep breath and vowed to stay calm. Calm. Very calm.
As I walked to stand next to Castle, some students were whispering. Julian threw a dirty look at them, and they quieted down. Nice to know he had my back.
“Amber, please try to do what Julian did. Push your feet into the ground and imagine roots coming out of your soles.”
I widened my stance the way Julian had done earlier. Then I pushed downwards, trying to force the energy into my feet. Nothing happened. Not even the slightest bubble of energy inside of me.
“Maybe close your eyes?”
I followed Mr. Castle’s suggestion and tried again. Still no result. I was becoming uncomfortably aware of being in front of dozens of people, all watching me fail.
“Okay, let’s try something else. Create a water bubble.”
I nodded, bringing my palms together as I’d seen Sharon do yesterday. Nothing. I rubbed my hands, feeling the friction. Then I pulled them apart. Nothing, nada, zilch. My ears were heating up. I kept my eyes down, trying to block out the whispers and snickers.
“Can’t even do the simplest elemental spells. Did you hear she nearly blew up the gym yesterday? Look at her. No self-control. She’s useless.”
Mr. Castle’s voice cut through the background noise. “Amber, focus. This is the most basic magic. A child could do this.”
I nodded, still staring at my hands. Useless. Yep, that was me. Couldn’t keep my lightning under control when it counted, and creating a small water bubble was beyond me. Julian had made it look so easy.
My power was ready inside of me. I could feel it. It would be so easy to zap the entire classroom, everybody who laughed at me or called me names. But I couldn't do it. Look what I’d done when I hadn’t even thought about causing damage. Imagine what I would do if I were angry and let rip. They would all be smoking charcoal if I wanted to.
I didn’t. I didn’t want this power. I didn’t want any of this. All I wanted was to get out of here and go home. My vision blurred as I blinked back tears. Covering my face, I ran towards the exit.
“Amber!”
A single voice tried to stop me, but I couldn’t. I had to get out of there before something awful happened. I was halfway back to my dorm when somebody grabbed my arm.
“Amber. Stop. Please.”
Julian swung me around and held me tightly against his chest. I resisted for a moment, then surrendered to him. Four days ago, I’d been in high school, an average student, safe in the knowledge that my parents loved me.
Now I was here, alone, trying to make sense of a world gone mad. It was too much, and I sobbed out my anguish and sadness in his embrace. After a while, all I could feel was exhaustion. Except for the odd hiccup, my breakdown was over. Julian’s heart beat strongly under my cheek. He smelled comforting and safe.
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
He rubbed circles on my back. “That’s okay. I know it’s scary. I’m scared, too.”
I lifted my head. “You? But you’re good at this. And you want to be here.”
Julian chuckled. “I’m good at the basics, but you saw what happened with the earth magic. Tomorrow I’m scheduled for another magical ability test to see what caused the plant to die.”
“What did it feel like?”
He shrugged. “Weird. Like a hole opened up in my body, sucking the life energy from the plant. There wasn’t a lot, so it happened quickly. The second time, it felt even stronger. Maybe because I was expecting it. But what if it happens again, and I can’t stop it? What if it happens around something bigger?”
Wow, that was scary. A bit like my lightning power. I had no control over that, either. My best guess right now was that it flared when I lost control.
His hand on my back pulled me nearer. Our bodies wer
e pressed against each other far closer than I’d ever been to any boy. Julian’s head was bent towards my face, and my gaze found his.
Time stood still. The color of his eyes was fascinating. So dark they looked black from a distance, yet close up I discovered specks the color of brown sugar floating in the depth.
I didn’t break out of my reverie until warm lips skimmed past mine. It was the lightest touch, just a fleeting brush, but it lit my body up like a torch. Heat diffused through my limbs, and my chest expanded with longing.
“Is this okay?” Julian whispered.
I nodded, already stretching up to get more. This time his lips landed on mine, pushing against my mouth gently. I gasped at the sensation. Julian brushed his tongue along my slightly opened lips, but didn’t enter my mouth. It was probably for the best, because I felt completely overwhelmed already.
Reluctantly, he pulled back, pecking me on the lips once more before letting go of me completely. “We shouldn’t be doing this here. Anybody could walk by and see us.”
I nodded, although at this moment, I didn’t care if the whole school was watching. My first kiss. By a really attractive boy. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t believe the way my body had reacted to the simple touch.
Julian took my hand, and together we walked to my dorm. I’d nearly forgotten how humiliated and desperately alone I’d felt only minutes ago, but the heaviness had returned by the time we entered the dorm room.
Slug lay on my bed as if he’d never been upset with me in the first place. Julian dropped my hand when he saw him. “Oh, cool. That’s gotta be your familiar.”
I nodded, pressing my lips together. I wanted to tell him the truth, but it was too dangerous. Lying to Julian felt horrible, though. Slug did something funny with his face that looked very close to an eye roll. Which was impossible, because cats didn’t roll their eyes.
Julian walked over to him. “Hey, kitty. You’re a big, bad kitty, aren’t you?” Turning towards me, he asked, “What’s his name?”
“Slug.”
Second Chance Fate Page 7
