“Yep. I’m at your mercy,” I said, and we laughed. Who knows? Maybe he’ll grow to be a friend.
The car ride with Gunnar to my place was short, but I still dozed off. Gunnar gently shook me awake and ordered me to rest. That was my plan. I was too tired to think. But I set the alarm on my phone to wake me in two hours. I then fell almost instantly into a deep sleep.
My alarm and my phone buzzing woke me up. I had five missed calls from Faith and played her first message.
“The repairman left. He packed up everything. He said he’s not coming back. What did you do?”
It was Faith’s frantic voice yelling into the phone. I was wide awake now. I’d been so tired that I’d forgotten about the repair. I tried the repairman’s phone number, and it went into voicemail. Once, twice. Then it didn’t even connect. Had the repairman blocked my number? What was I going to do?
I checked my bank account on the computer. The payment still said “Pending.” I had to call my bank, and after forty minutes of security checks and automation, I managed to cancel.
I researched online and called around again for a repair. No one I called would come today or were within my price range.
My doorbell sounded, and it was then I remembered Paul. I still had on my jeans and flannel shirt from the job, my hair in a messy ponytail, no make-up. I was far from ready. I needed to cancel, but how could I do it now?
I took a deep breath and gathered myself to go down to the lobby. I’d just have to tell him no. He was standing outside looking handsome and casual in his blue jeans, pullover and suit jacket. When I reached the door, he wasn’t smiling. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was angry.
“I’m sorry, I can’t go. I have important stuff to take care of.” The words spilled out as I averted my eyes.
“The water heater for your mom’s home?” he asked in a brusque tone. “I know all about it.”
I gave him a bewildered look, and he walked past me. “How do you know about that?”
“Gunnar told me,” he said in an accusatory tone. “I had Eileen look into it and there should be someone at your mom’s house now, installing a new one. He didn’t trust you weren’t being taken by the person you hired.”
I looked around the lobby at the people watching us. Paul tried to place his arm around me, and I flinched, my own anger rising.
“I can’t afford a new water heater right now. Why did you do that?” I asked in a loud whisper.
“Why didn’t you ask me?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “I hate Gunnar for making you doubt you can ask for help. What happened with my ex was that she didn’t ask. She sued me instead. What have I done to make you not trust me?”
He compared me to his ex, did that mean he thought of me as more than a friend? I’d didn’t ask, but we needed to get out of the prying eyes from the people in the lobby before they figured out who he was. “Let’s not make a scene. Perhaps you should leave. I have to go upstairs to call my sister.”
I glanced at the door, though my heart would ache if he left.
To my relief, he said, “I’m coming with you.”
We quietly walked to my apartment. The second I opened the door I told him, “I need to speak with my sister privately, if you’ll excuse me.”
I called her. On the third ring, she answered.
“Someone is downstairs fixing the water heater now,” she said flatly.
My tone was sharp. “Why didn’t you call me to tell me?”
“Why didn’t you call to tell me someone was coming over?” she answered. Her own tone was harsh.
“You have hot water and now I’m of no use,” I grumbled, and I hung up on her. I was so tired of trying to help, when all I received back was contempt. I sank down on my bed, my face in my hands. I couldn’t keep doing this. I couldn’t keep being hurt and blamed by Faith for what had become of her life.
The door opened, and Paul walked in. “Aubrey.”
I shook my head. “I never got dressed. I can’t go. I’m a wreck… Thank you for your help, but I wish you wouldn’t have interfered. You didn’t even call to tell me what you were doing.”
“So you could tell me to not help you and leave your family without hot water?” His tone made it seem like my pride was ill-placed. Now I couldn’t look at him.
“I’ll pay you back for the boiler, but it may take time.”
“Money isn’t something I need. Talent and time mean a lot more. You’ve helped me on recording sessions that didn’t have to do with Emono. I extended your contract for the work on the Absolution song. I’m with you almost every day, and you still couldn’t ask me? I can’t believe Gunnar would only give you a job after hearing all you were struggling with.” He cursed.
“He understood I need to do this for myself,” I tried to explain. “I needed to feel like I have control over my life. Then he took it away!”
“Don’t be mad at Gunnar. He found compassion,” he said, and sat down next to me. He placed his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “You work hard enough and do your best, but sometimes you’ll need help. I’ve told you that before. There’s nothing degrading in needing help. Watching you struggle isn’t admirable. No matter what happens, I’m always here. You can tell me anything. That, I promise you. Tell me something about you I don’t know. I need to know more than I do.” He would not let this go.
I fell quiet in my struggle, but then I told him something. “My mom is ill and can no longer work. My sister takes care of her. I take care of them both as best I can, ever since my father died. That’s what I can tell you and keep my head up.”
He pulled me in his arms and hugged me, and just that meant everything.
“That must be hard,” he said. “Thank you for trusting me with that. If ever you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen. We can even stay here tonight and talk more.”
“No,” I replied. “I’d like to help you with the music, like we had planned.”
He grinned. “See? You think it’s fine when I need help, but not you? Yes. I want you there, but only if you think you’ll be okay.”
“I will,” I said. “Working with you is a pleasure. Just give me twenty minutes, and I’ll get myself together. I don’t want to sit here and worry. I want to have fun.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he said. “I like the two of us as a music production team.”
“You really think I can produce your music?” I asked. “I’ve never done audio production until I came to your studio.”
“Absolutely,” he said without hesitation. “Mike thinks so too, and he’s top of his game. You’re also my lucky charm. I know with you there we’ll find the hook, and more. The song will be phenomenal. But I think you could use a little more sleep. I would take you to dinner first, but just wake up when you’re ready and we’ll go.”
I wanted to protest, but I was tired, and Paul’s stern gaze let me know he would not budge. My heart warmed. He cared for me.
I lay down on the bed, and he took off his suit jacket to lie next to me, pulling me against his chest as he wrapped his arms around my body. My awareness of him was just as chaotic as his, if I were to go by the thudding of the heart beneath his shirt. Neither of us dared to say we shouldn’t. Though now I found it hard to sleep.
“Do you want me to move? If it’ll help you rest, I will,” Paul said picking up on the tension in me.
I hugged his chest and inhaled deeply. “No.”
I wanted him close, but there was more to it. I wanted him to be mine.
I also wanted to stay awake, but I fell asleep in his arms.
One crisis averted, but for how long? My life was moving fast ahead and right towards Paul, the man who was filling it—and I was sure nothing would ever be the same.
Aubrey
The game was already in progress when we arrived, but security led us through the tunnel to our courtside seats at Madison Square Garden. The energy and action from the game were already at a fever pitch as the players charged the court. I knew
enough about basketball to cheer for the home team, but the enthusiasm of the crowd carried me with it, and I was just as thrilled to cheer along at every score.
There was little time to get star-struck over sitting with Recon. He treated me like an old friend, even using me as his go-to person to grab hands with to lift above our heads at every home-team score. Cheering with Recon was entertaining, but I kept glancing over at Paul. He talked to Daniel and the date he’d brought, but his main attention was on Cara. She’d press her head on his arm and he’d smile and laugh with her. He must’ve known the crowd and media were taking pictures of the two of them. Had he changed his mind about letting them present as a couple, or was she one of his muses too?
At the end of the game, I waited for them to finish their publicity shots with the team, and then Paul left Cara and brought Daniel and his date to where I stood alone. Recon pulled into interviews.
“Wasn’t that a great game?” he asked with enthusiasm.
His remark gave Daniel a chance to launch into a play-by-play recap of the game and shine. Despite Paul’s doting on Cara, I appreciated how he left no one out. He’d done the same for me repeatedly.
I said my goodbyes and watched the smug smile spread across Daniel’s face at my exclusion from whatever he thought would come next. Daniel wasn’t invited and I couldn’t let him know I was going anywhere with Paul. I played my sad part well, probably because it wasn’t all fake. I didn’t like being so removed from Paul. I didn’t like feeling insecure or jealous, or not knowing where I stood. It made me feel like I’d only imagined something between us.
Still, I did as we planned and met up with Regan, who was driving a Bentley tonight. A few minutes later, the door opened, and Recon got in. We reintroduced ourselves and he took water from the cooler.
“You’re the violinist Paul won’t stop talking about,” he said. “He didn’t say you were beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“Shy and sweet, but not when you play—he told me that part.” He drank down his water. “I listened to your recording with him.”
“We were only rehearsing,” I replied humbly. It touched me to hear how much Paul shared about me.
“Modest, too,” he said, and guffawed. “You sell yourself every chance you get, and never short. Keep that high energy around you like armor. That’s the first thing Paul taught me. He must be slipping.”
Paul appeared and took the seat next to me. “You talking about me to Aubrey? Better be good.”
“I was telling her how much I feel her violin,” Recon said. “She’s playing modest. She should own it. In the music industry, you get one shot. Always make it count.”
“Listen to you, all hard knocks,” Paul teased him, and then took my hand. I tried to keep it steady, but that familiar shiver of awareness raced through my bloodstream.
We drove away from the stadium and headed towards the highway.
“Paul’s soft with the pretty ladies, I see,” Recon said. “Did you know the first thing Paul said after I met with him was that New York City was full of Recons, why should he bother with me? I told him I’d show him there was only one.”
“And you proved it over and beyond,” Paul replied with admiration. His hand took my chin and tilted it upward. “If you were selling yourself and your brand, what would you tell Recon now, Aubrey? And don’t think about it.”
My heartbeat picked up as I rattled off what first came to mind and stared at Paul’s gorgeous face. “I’d say I’m a unique violinist who reads and writes music. I’m experienced in many music mediums. I’m an amazing audio engineer and music mixer. I have no limits. Try me. I can do whatever you need.”
Paul kissed me hard on the lips. “Fuck, that’s sexy.”
“Paul.” I scolded playfully.
“She’s way too sweet for you,” Recon teased Paul. “But leave the sex for later. I’m not into watching.”
“I’m not into showing,” Paul replied smoothly, and I was about to combust.
“Now let’s get Aubrey up to speed on the song we’re working on. A Hundred Lies could be a power ballad, but it needs more heart,” Paul said.
“It’s about a woman scorned, her life damaged to the point of no return. She’s in despair after years of sorrow and she wonders if she’ll ever find her way out of loving him,” Recon explained.
“So, it’s upbeat,” Paul half-joked. “But seriously. The hook needs real emotion.”
“We need to hear that live from you,” Recon said. “We need to feel that sadness down to our bones. That sad, grab-your-heart stuff you put into Absolution. Cara’s singing feels off. If she can’t put the heart in the song, it’ll be another forgettable ballad. She needs to imbibe Aubrey’s sound. Her darkness.”
I understood perfectly. That they connected to my darkness gave me strength. It was a part of who I was, and if it helped Paul, I would use it and give it my all.
We were in Tribeca and parked in an underground parking garage. Paul took in the violin case from the back and we followed Recon into the elevator that led to his home. From what we could see at the entrance, his place was luxurious, but we didn’t linger in his living room area. We followed him as he led us straight into his private studio on the ground floor. There, Recon and Paul went about setting up his system. I unpacked the violin. Once we were ready, we sat down together, and Recon played back the song. Upon listening to it, I didn’t get a ballad feel, and I hoped that I’d be able to help.
When Cara arrived, I went to play the violin. Paul joined me and led us to Absolution live. And as always when we played together, everything disappeared but us. It had our kiss. It had all our feelings.
“That song is insane,” Recon said. “I love it every time I hear it.”
“Let’s start the hook again,” Cara said. “I’m itching to get started now. I feel it.”
“Aubrey, could you do the recording set up with me?” Paul asked.
I followed him into the booth and worked on audio-pilot, setting up the microphones, mix levels, and playback. I met Paul’s eyes when I looked over at him and something intense flared through his entrancement. It made my pulse race, my body throb with longing. I wanted him and could easily lose myself just looking at him.
I expected him to pull away or move on since they were waiting, but he didn’t.
“Is everything okay?” I whispered to him.
His fingers lightly traced my face. “It’s perfect,” he said in a low tone for only my ears.
I gave him a shy smile. It was.
He moved his seat close to me and spoke into the microphone for Recon and Cara to hear. “Let’s do it.”
The four of us dove into a creative bubble. Cara worked on the hook of the ballad. Recon added in a rap mix, with Paul and me working the music board. It was amazing. With their enthusiasm and talent, I became just as wild for the song as they were, and just as invested into perfecting the recording.
When we listened to the playback, Paul put his arm around me and shared the headphones. I drank in the comfort of his nearness.
He watched my reaction and went further. He rubbed my shoulders as I adjusted the soundboard. He came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips when I rose to stretch. My body grew heavy and warm under his touch. Every time made my heart skyrocket. Every time took my breath away.
And as we wound down and sat for the playback, Paul leaned over and kissed me deeply, right in front of Recon and Cara. He didn’t ask. He didn’t have to. It was what we both wanted. I realized then that he hadn’t even hidden his interest in me in the car, or even in the studio. Here, he treated me as his, and I loved it.
When we finally decided we were happy and ready to end the session, we left the studio and outside the room, the light of day came through the window. Shit.
“What time is it?” I asked Paul.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Six in the morning.”
I tensed. “I need to leave. I have work in three hours.”<
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“Can you take the day off?” he asked in the car.
“Not on short notice, and not after Daniel saw me at a basketball game having fun,” I replied.
“I’m sorry,” he replied sincerely. “I’ll tell them I need you to come to work with me today, and that’s how we’ll get around it.”
He took out his phone and left a detailed message for Logan along with his private phone number. “He has problems, he can call me.”
“He won’t. I’ll find out tomorrow, I guess,” I said. “But after seven days, I can’t focus enough to work another eight or more hours.”
“You already worked your eight here,” he said. “Hell, Cara and Recon are trying to figure out how to add violin to their next albums. You went all in, and I’m proud of you. I owe you for tonight.”
“You loaned me the money for a water heater. We’re more than covered.”
“Not at all, and that wasn’t a loan. I don’t want your money.” He took my hand. “How do you feel about tonight?”
“It was one of the most magical nights of my life,” I gushed. “I loved working on the recording and music. It was wonderful. I played, and I didn’t think about it.”
“Yes, you did,” he said proudly. “I’m absolutely blown away by you. I’ll also take the morning off. You can come back to my place.”
Was that always his plan? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t say no. I wanted to go.
Recon’s home was not too far from Paul’s. There, we took the elevator into his loft, pausing only to take off our shoes before climbing up the spiral staircase next to his living room. The bedroom had a king-size bed. When he turned on one of the two table lamps, I saw that everything in the room was white.
Paul’s kiss came, and I pressed my lips against his mouth to deepen it. Our tongues connected and entwined. His hands dug into my hips to grip me more tightly, and once his fuse was lit, there was no end. Paul’s full sexy lips kissed me harder, his tongue caressed mine. I moaned into his mouth as I clutched his broad shoulders, and his hand moved down to hold my butt, pressing me close. I arched into him and I moved against his cock, stretched hard beneath the fabric of his slacks. I shuddered hard. My mind could hardly believe this was happening.
Unfinished Sympathy Page 20
