by Katie Dunn
Thinking about what happened to my brother and subsequently me made my body shake with anger and despair. I crumpled, feeling it all overwhelm me.
“Owen!” I cried out. “Why did you have to leave! This is all your fault!”
I knew that wasn’t fair. He had no more control over our lives than the others did and even less now that he was dead. I wish I could just talk to him and learn about being Death from him. The others were used to living as the Horsemen but none of them knew what it was like to be Death. All they had to worry about was controlling emotions, but I had to worry about spreading disease and killing people with a touch. Did Owen have to go through the same thing? I gritted my teeth trying to reign in my frustration.
Phi, don’t cry.
I jerked up at the voice that shouldn’t be there. My tears stopped and adrenaline flooded my body. Someone was in my room and it wasn’t Shawna. “Who’s there?” I called out feeling ridiculous. I looked around but no one was in sight. Great, now I was hearing voices. I wiped at my face and pulled myself together.
I know it’s tough, but you can get through this.
I froze on my way to bed and looked around again. No one was there but I knew that voice. I shook my head, trying to make my mind stop imagining things. That’s just what everyone needs. A hallucinating Horseman.
I crawled up to my bed above my desk and plopped facedown into my pillows. “Go away,” I told the voice. I chuckled thinking about what Shawna would do if she heard me talking to thin air.
Trust them.
I lifted my head to glare at my room. The universe was being cruel right now. I was already hurt but now it was making me imagine my brother’s voice too. My heart clenched, wanting to see him so badly.
A flicker of light followed by an almost transparent face flittered in front of me. I screamed and rolled off my bed, righting myself in time before my face crashed into my desk chair below.
The light did not disappear, instead taking form and clearing to show a healthy and happy Owen. My breath caught at the sight of him. “Owen?”
I could see the other side of the room through him, but his body was still visible. “Oh my God. I can see you! Are you actually here or am I imagining this?”
Owen chuckled and stepped toward me. “I’m really here.”
He looked exactly like he did before he died. Floppy black hair with a white streak, round face and freckles around his nose. For the first time I saw a scythe tattoo marking the inside of his left arm. Had he always had that?
“That’s what a mirage would say,” I said breathlessly. It was like old times, joking with my twin but this time he was a ghost and I was apparently insane.
“I heard you call out to me,” Owen said softly, flicking his eyes around me then lingering on my injured hand. His face contorted in silent fury then smoothed into one of pain and regret. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this.”
I shook my head. I knew I blamed him before, but I hadn’t meant it. “How are you here?” I asked happily. I would accept this vision of my brother as real until someone locked me in an insane asylum.
He shook his head as if to say he didn’t know but a wide grin broke out on his face. Pure joy radiated from him until I felt my previous worries fall away. “I have no idea. I heard you and it was as if I was being pulled through a light until I arrived here. I saw you crying.”
“Yeah, I kinda broke. This Horsemen stuff is endangering my life and I keep killing people.” I shook my head in exasperation and sat in my desk chair. Owen leaned down and reached for me, but his hand hovered an inch above mine. “I know how you feel. It was difficult for me at first.”
“How did you get through it?” I had discovered anger and desperation worked best for bringing out deathly diseases but anything else evaded me.
“Well, I used my fists. A lot,” Owen laughed.
I chuckled at the memories. “Yeah you guys were kind of known as fists-first-words-later guys. You know you didn’t have to go fight everyone in the school.” My brother was extremely kind and funny but often put up a wall around strangers. When he got involved with Liam and the others, Owen had turned into a jerk of sorts, always getting into fights. The four of them had created a reputation.
Owen scrunched his nose. “It’s not what it seems. Most of those people we beat up,” he put air quotes around beat up, “were Templars. Except Johnny Marks. He was just a punk who needed to be put in his place.” My eyes widened at the declaration. “Templars show up wherever the Horseman are. I had to learn early on how to fight and how no one was who they seemed.” Owen frowned. “Do not trust anyone except Liam, Trevor and Kaden,” he warned.
I wanted to argue that they were not the only people I could trust but I stayed quiet. No need to get him riled up about who I could and could not hang out with. I already had enough of that from Liam.
“Yeah but they got you in the end.” Sadness filled every word and hung heavy in the air as I reminded myself he was a ghost right now.
“That they did. There’s no changing that. But they will not get you.”
Sighing in annoyance, I glared at my ghost brother. “You can’t know that.”
“No, but we can make it that way. Let the guys protect you.”
I rolled my eyes at that. I knew they could protect me, but I did not necessarily want to rely on them. Plus, Liam’s moods changed too much. I never knew what he thought of me and there was no way I would be a burden.
“Another thing you need to do is learn to access your other talents. When I was alive, I could make people feel sick. Have you tried that?”
I’ve tried making Kaden feel sick, but it never worked as well as their talents. “How do I do that without killing?”
“The key is to remember what death feels like.”
I was about to ask him how I would know what death felt like if I had never died but my dorm room door opened, and Shawna walked in. I glanced to Owen wondering what I was going to say to explain my twin in ghost form, but he was gone. My heart clenched, and tears pricked my eyes.
He was gone. Again.
Shawna sat in her chair and threw her phone onto her desk. “My dad called. Apparently, a family friend died, and their memorial service is tomorrow.”
At her announcement, I pushed the thought of seeing my brother aside for the moment and got up to hug my friend. “Oh no, Shawna, I’m so sorry.”
Shawna shrugged under me. “Thank you, it’s ok though. I didn’t really know her. But you’ll have the room to yourself tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Even though she said it was ok, I knew losing someone was never easy.
“No, it’s ok.”
I squeezed her one more time then let her go. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.” She nodded and gave me a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
I climbed back up to my bed and she stayed up to finish up some of her homework. I laid there for a long time, trying to go to sleep but nerves and excitement warred within me. On one hand I was nervous to go back out into the world in case I was attacked again. On the other hand, I was excited because I somehow summoned my brother. Kaden had said once that Owen had never been able to summon the dead. Tonight had to be because Owen and I were both Death and had a connection. I wanted to do it again, and I would practice every day until I could bring him back, even if it was only in ghost form.
The next morning, Shawna left early, dressed in black and looking somber. I offered to go with her again, but she politely declined. My heart went out to her and her family. I wondered if her parents left Italy and would be at the memorial today.
I stared around my room, wondering what to do now. It was so quiet without my roommate. I blasted some music and cleaned the room, then worked on my projects and homework. Tinkering with machinery helped calm my mind but I could not do it for long. My hand felt better than yesterday but it still stung when I used it too much which made tinkering difficult.
Giving u
p on it for now, I sat back and looked at the time on my phone. I groaned. It wasn’t even lunch yet. Why did time go so slow when I was alone? I didn’t have to be alone though. I could go train with Kaden. I tossed that idea aside. I wasn’t ready to face them. I could go to the store to pick up some things Shawna and I needed. However, that meant going out into the world and I wasn’t ready for that. Well, there was someone else I could talk to.
Spinning around in my desk chair I called out for my brother. “Owen!”
I felt silly calling for someone who wasn’t there, but I was determined to see him again. Whether it was today, tomorrow, or a week from now.
“Owen, please show yourself.” I waited but my brother did not appear. Deflating in disappointment I looked around the room for something else to do.
My eyes caught on the Religious Studies book on Shawna’s desk. I could research the Horsemen some more. Maybe she had books that would give more details. I got up and flipped through her Religion Studies textbook, but it didn’t hold anything about the Horsemen. Maybe I could read the Bible again to see if I missed anything. I knew her Bible was in one of the drawers of her desk, so I opened one looking for it. Thankfully it was in the same drawer I saw her take it out of last time. I picked it up and started to close the drawer again but a symbol on a piece of paper caught my eye. I placed the Bible on the desk beside the textbook and picked up the paper from the drawer. My heart beat faster and dread settled in my stomach like a stone. It was a letter but at the top was a crest of a sword overlapping a cross on a blue and white four quadrant background.
No. no. no. no.
Dear Shawna Matthews,
You have been accepted into the Order of the Templars located at Penn State University. Our Order has thousands of members worldwide. You will be making a difference to better our world and continue to protect the innocent. We look forward to working with you.
I stopped reading, refusing to believe my roommate was one of…them. My heart pounded in my chest and panic made it impossible to breathe correctly. I needed to tell Liam and the others immediately. I grabbed my phone from my desk and tried to pull up Liam’s name in my contacts. My hand shook making it difficult to do anything on the screen. I couldn’t hold it straight enough to call or text. My other hand clutched the letter so tightly it was starting to crinkle. I stalked over to my roommate’s desk and threw the letter back inside the drawer then grabbed my backpack. I was halfway out of the door when I paused and thought about what I was about to do.
If the others found out my roommate was a Templar and had been around me this whole time, they might kill her. As far as I knew she hadn’t done anything to hurt me and she had plenty of chances. I shivered thinking about all the nights I slept soundly in my bed while Shawna was across the room. She could have killed me where I slept. Memories of the theater came to mind and I gasped. Did she tell them where I would be? No, she wouldn’t have. Then again, she was a Templar, loyal only to the Order. Oh my God, was Shawna at that Templar’s funeral right now? It was too much of a coincidence otherwise.
My head spun as I thought of all the moments Shawna and I had been together. Had she been faking our friendship? Pain spiked in my chest, but I pushed it away. This was no time to feel anything but wrath. I was going to get answers out of her as soon as she got back, and I would make sure she felt helpless and afraid just as I had felt whenever Templars were around.
I walked to my desk and rifled through my backpack until I found what I wanted. I set it out on my desk and grabbed a few other necessary supplies. Once I was sure I was ready, I sat down and waited.
Chapter 12
I heard a key jiggle the handle as the owner unlocked the door. I quickly grabbed the rag on my desk and stood behind the door. I had waited all afternoon. All the snacks in our room were gone because I didn’t want to leave to get lunch. I had ignored a few texts from Kaden and Trevor. I did answer one from Liam after he asked about my hand and shoulder. I told him they were fine and left it at that. The rest of the day I tried to do homework or read but my mind constantly drifted to Shawna and her betrayal. Well, I was about to get answers.
The door opened and Shawna came in looking weary. I didn’t give her time to react. I shoved the door closed with my foot and leapt on her back, bringing the rag with chloroform on it to her mouth and nose. Her shriek was muffled, and she threw us around the room attempting to toss me off. My back hurt after being knocked against walls and our desks, but I held on strong. Soon her struggles lessened, and she slumped. I caught her before she hit the floor and pushed her into her desk chair. Lacking rope, I used our bed sheets to tie her hands and feet to the chair and added some duct tape to her mouth. I made sure her nose was not blocked so she could still breath then sat back in my desk chair to wait for her to wake.
My hands shook and blood pounded in my ears. I just attacked my roommate. Oh my God. I could be expelled for that. Probably locked up in an institution for that. Then the image of the cross with a sword in front came to mind and I narrowed my eyes at Shawna. She was the enemy. A trusted friend who had lied to me. I gripped my chair arms in anger.
“Owen!” I shouted, not caring if anyone outside heard.
I was upset with him too. Everything was fine until he said only to trust the Horsemen. I hated that he was right. I wanted to trust in someone else, but it seemed no one in my life was who they said they were.
A light appeared in front of me, momentarily blocking my line of sight to Shawna. Anticipation thrummed through me and I stood up with a smile. I may be upset that he was right, but I would always be happy to see him. A moment later, Owen’s lighted, almost translucent, form appeared grinning at me.
“I knew you could do it. What were you feeling right before you called out to me?” he asked, unaware of the Templar tied up behind him.
I blinked at him, thrown off by the question. I tilted my head trying to remember what was different than earlier when I tried to call him. Images of his earnest expression telling me not to trust anyone then Shawna’s betrayal made my chest ache.
“Anger, despair, and…” My eyes widened at the sudden realization that I had also been afraid. “and even a little bit of fear if I am being honest.”
Owen grinned as if he had all the answers. I frowned waiting for him to enlighten me, but he stayed quiet.
When he still did not say anything I whined, “Owen, just tell me.”
“The emotions you felt are the other Horsemen talents. It makes sense since death brings about all those emotions.”
My mouth dropped open. It was so obvious now. If he was right, then I now knew how to summon Owen anytime I wanted and why it didn’t work this morning. I was too excited and happy earlier but now m body shook with negative emotions. I would never be alone in this again. I finally succeeded at one thing as a Horseman. I squealed and jumped forward to hug him, but my body glided through and nearly fell upon Shawna’s unconscious form.
I caught myself just before I landed on top of her and danced to the side. Owen turned, laughing at my lack of grace but frowned when he saw my roommate. His brow arched.
“Uh, care to tell me what this is about?”
My cheeks reddened and I crossed my arms, digging my nails into my skin before I did something I would regret. Like cause her to break out into black boils. Even though I was angry with Shawna and hurt that she would lie to me I still did not want her to die.
“She is a Templar.”
I expected Owen to yell or tense, or even frown, but he only sighed. “That’s it? You’re not more upset by this?” I asked incredulously.
“I’m just not surprised by anything anymore. Well except the fact that I am talking to you right now.” Owen shook his head and looked away.
For the first time I wondered how all the Horsemen stuff affected him when he was alive. He said he got into fights because of it but there had to be more. My heart ached for him and what he must have gone through. He learned he could not trust anyone. Sadly
, I was coming to the same conclusion. It all made for a lonely existence.
Shawna groaned and suddenly I was on the other side of the room, as far from her as I could get. I had been in the same room as her for months now, but now that I knew who she was, I was terrified. I knew she was tied to her chair and could not harm me, but I had been attacked twice now by Templars. I did not exactly want to face another one.
Owen glanced from her to me with amusement. “Aren’t you going to interrogate her?”
I bit my lip and watched as my roommate came to and looked around. Her eyes skipped over Owen telling me she couldn’t see him. Interesting. Maybe it was because she wasn’t a Horseman. When her eyes landed on me, she frowned and yanked her arms as if she was going to lunge at me. She did not get far due to the sheets keeping her arms secured. She glanced at her arms and legs then back at me with a new expression. It almost looked like fear. That couldn’t be right though. She was a Templar. They only knew hate and pride.
Owen nodded his head toward her, urging me to get closer and demand answers. I glanced from him to Shawna then clenched my fists in determination. I was a freaking Horseman. Death to be precise. I should not be cowering in a corner.
I walked over until I was standing in front of her then ripped the duct tape off forcefully causing her to wince. I wanted to shout at her and rage about how she had lied to me but when I saw how helpless she looked and frightened though she tried to hide it behind a glare, my anger slipped away.
Instead, one word slipped out, and the way my voice cracked made it sound pathetic. “Why?”
Shawna growled, or tried to but it caught in her throat and she ended up coughing. My brows rose in surprise at her lack of intimidation. She was definitely not like the other two Templars I came across. I almost wanted to laugh but I knew that would only make her mood worse. Owen had no qualms about it. Good thing Shawna couldn’t see or hear him because he filled the room with his laughter. I shot him a look to shut up then focused on Shawna again.
