"No," I said with a shake of my head. "You'll be going to Skorsa with Lady Katarine and Lady Beata."
Her face fell. "But you said—"
"My army's getting split up," I said. "Jax will be taking some of the troops, but there'll be no one with Lady Kat who knows how to be a scout. You're the best one I have."
"I'm the only one you have." It should've been said with more disdain, but the loss of her friends at the camp had hit her hard. "I'll do my best."
"Whatever Lady Kat asks, I need you to do without question," I said. "Same for Lady Beata. I'll tell them to trust you as they trust me." I patted her cheek. "I'm really proud of you. And I'll see you in a few weeks."
As the sun began to set in the distance, I said my goodbyes to Luard, Katarine, and Beata. I found them in a tent on the outskirts of camp, watching the youngest survivors chase each other in a game of tag. Luard's comment about the children bringing light back to Beata's face seemed true, as both she and Katarine watched them with a mix of joy and caution.
The children stopped short when they saw me, scrambling over themselves as they queued up before me. With a flourish, they bowed in unison then stood upright, giggling to each other.
"Very good," I said, catching Beata's eye. "You've certainly got the best teacher."
"Go wash up for dinner," Beata said to them, walking over to me.
The children nodded with a chorus of "Yes, Lady Beata" and ran toward the small river in the distance.
"You'll bring them with you to Skorsa, won't you?" I asked, watching them disappear. "They'll be safe there. Or maybe even send them up to Niemen—"
"They'll be safe in Skorsa," Luard said. "As will Kat and Bea. You have my word that nothing will happen to either of them."
I took Beata's hands and kissed them. "I wish I had more time to spend with you and Kat. But know that I am grateful every day that…"
"I understand," she said softly. There was nothing more to say that hadn't already been said, so I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek.
Luard took her place, pulling me in for a tight hug that could've lasted forever. "Remember everything we've talked about," he said, pressing a small bag into my hand. Tinneum. "If you ever get scared or worried, just chew on this stuff. It seems to clear your head."
"Give my love to your sister if you see her," I said. "And make sure Beswick hurts before he dies."
He kissed my cheek and released me, and I was face-to-face with Katarine. Her eyes had filled with tears once more as she came toward me, and when we embraced, it was hard not to feel like a child against her taller frame.
"You've become quite the queen," she said. "It takes a strong leader to know when to step back."
"I'd better not see you in Forcadel," I said as a tear splashed down my face.
"We'll make sure of it," Beata said with a knowing look.
But the determination in Katarine's eyes told a different story. "We'll gather as quickly as we can. You can hold Ilara off for weeks, but months is doubtful."
I nodded. "Any tips?"
"Speak the truth as often as you can," she said. "If she asks if you know what we're doing, you can honestly say that you don't. If she asks if we've seen each other—"
"I'll think about when I thought you guys had abandoned me," I said with a smile. "I do listen to you, Kat."
She kissed my forehead. "Soon enough, we'll be having tea back in your room on the day of your coronation."
With a heavy heart, I took a step back, gazing at the three of them and imprinting them on my mind. We would be reunited, but in which life, I had no idea.
"I'm riding with you."
Felix stood behind me, holding the reins of two horses already tacked and ready to go.
"You can't," I said, turning to him fully. "I need you in Neveri."
"I've already delegated command to Aline until I return." He shook the reins. "It's getting late. We'd better hurry if you want to get to Forcadel before sunup."
I opened my mouth to argue, but there was nothing to say. "Fine."
We rode in silence, neither of us looking back once. The moon was bright overhead, casting an ethereal glow on the plains and on Felix's face. He was stony, serious, and the sword at his hip had me wondering if he was going to ignore my command and whisk me away to safety. Perhaps tie me up and leave me in a house until they'd completed their plan.
When he slowed his horse, I tensed for a fight.
"The horses need water," he said, pointing to a small creek in the distance. "Let's rest here for a moment."
I dismounted and walked my horse over to the creek, allowing it to drink and eat an apple from my saddlebag. Then I joined Felix by the banks of the river as he looked out on the plains of Forcadel.
"This really is a beautiful country," he said. "I hate that it's taken this for me to see it."
"Niemen was magnificent," I said. "Mountains taller than you'd ever think possible. Snow—"
"You saw snow?" Felix asked with a smile.
"I walked through it," I said. "Up and down a mountain. Wouldn't recommend it."
A smile teased at the corner of his mouth. "You certainly worked hard to get to where you are. If I'd have known the girl I pulled out of that butchery would turn into this magnificent woman…" He quieted. "No, I knew you had this inside of you. I'm glad I picked a queen—"
"Under a mask," I finished for him.
"Are you scared?"
I frowned. "No, I'm not. Recently, I've gotten into the habit of trusting myself—of knowing that whatever mess I get myself into, I'm capable of getting out of. Whether through my own wits or…" I glanced up at him. "Because I've got an amazing group behind me."
The sound of the creek rushing over the river pebbles lulled me into a calm sense of peace. Being here, with Felix, was the last bit of truth I would get for a while, and I was grateful for the opportunity to revel in it.
"Felix, I—"
"I love you," he said, looking down at me. "And that terrifies me."
I blinked. "What?"
"It would be easier to let you walk back into Ilara's castle if I didn't love you so much," he said, looking at the ground. "Because then I could listen to my head, who knows that you've been in worse situations and come out alive. My head trusts you implicitly and has never doubted your abilities once. But all my heart wants is to keep you safe."
"Felix, I—" I shook my head. "You can't stop me from doing this."
"I'm not going to." He brought me closer, caressing my face with his fingertips. "But damn it, this hurts. Letting you walk into danger, even though I know you can handle it…it hurts. Letting you out of my sight hurts. Not being…" He closed his eyes. "Not being with you hurts."
"I know," I said, pressing my forehead to his. "I wish we had more time."
"Then let's have more time," he whispered. "Right now."
He kissed me, and there was nothing gentle about it. We fell to the banks of the river, tearing off clothes and seeking some joy amidst all this sadness. I'd been with men before, and even some who'd made me soar to the heights of pleasure and happiness. But with Felix, it was different. There was no rush, no need to get to the end. His touch was slow and his kisses lingered on my skin. My body was his church, and he lit every candle on my wall.
When it was over, we lay together, wrapped in each other's arms and we spoke about everything and nothing. We reminisced about the months he'd followed me, and the moment he realized he'd fallen for me, and how much his first kiss had surprised and confused me. He apologized once more for his cowardice and breaking my heart, and I apologized for punching him in the jaw when we saw each other in Forcadel again.
"I feel like we wasted months," I said, running my finger down his chest. "If I'd have known what was coming, I would've come to my senses sooner."
"Everything happens according to the Mother's plan," Felix said, kissing my forehead. "If this is the end, I'll be grateful I had this time with you now."
Tears pri
cked the corner of my eyes. "It had better not be the end, Felix Llobrega."
"Promise me you'll be careful."
"As long as you promise the same," I said. "You're not the only one worried about the person you love."
He cupped the back of my head, pulling me close. "Say it again."
And I did. Again and again and again.
Chapter 58
The city of Forcadel lay before me like a gem. I stood on the rooftop near the city square, gazing down on all the familiar buildings. The church where I'd stashed my vigilante things. The castle where I'd felt a prisoner. To the south, the bars and haunts where I'd found information. All of it had changed so drastically since the first bomb appeared on my shores. As had I.
In my hand, I had the mask Luard had given me. Fine black cloth lined with gold markings. I'd asked for it back from Aline, giving her one of the other Veil masks that Beata had made. For Ilara to believe I'd been the one causing trouble in the city, I needed to be in full costume.
The wind whipped my cloak behind me, my slingbag felt at home against my back, and my knives were a comforting weight at my hips. Bathed in moonlight, I truly felt my name—The Veil. Brynna. Brynn. Larissa. Her Majesty. All were me, and I was an amalgam of the different titles I wore. Soon, though, there would be one more added to the mix. Prisoner.
I reached for the two coins at my neck, thumbing Riya's for a moment before returning to Felix's. Would Ilara be so cruel as to take them from me? In case, I said my final goodbyes, kissing them both and promising I would fulfill this next role with all the aplomb of The Veil.
I let the coins fall and closed my eyes, allowing all the pain and misery of the past few weeks to fill me with unyielding rage. Katarine had said I could be an effective liar by feeling real emotion when I lied. And today, I was to be a grieving princess who was out of options, driven mad from loss. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I thought of Locke, Celia, Nicolasa, and the children I'd buried, imagined their fear as they faced death. And when I opened my eyes, my hands shook with the need for revenge.
Footsteps echoed on the street below, and I gathered the edges of my cloak and took a deep breath. I jumped off the building and landed in a crouch before the Severian soldiers.
"Evening," I said with a smile as I pulled my knives. "I'm in the mood to make some Severians bleed. And you look like good candidates."
They came for me, swords out, and I deflected them. I could've easily knocked them both out within seconds, but I pulled my punches. Only a little, as I needed them to believe I hadn't let myself get captured.
I hissed as a sword tip sliced through my cheek. "Great," I said, running my finger along the cut. "Now you've made me mad."
I kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying toward the brick wall behind him. He slumped to the ground, out cold. His fellow soldiers kept their distance, infuriating me more.
"You should leave," the second Severian said, sounding almost hopeful. "The queen won't have any use for you. It's suicide for you to even be here."
"Then I suppose I'll just have to die," I said, swinging my knives in my hand. "It's the only thing I have left."
I took a step toward him, but more soldiers arrived in the alley. Two, four, six—I lost count. A maniacal grin spread on my face. I'd taken down five with Beswick; perhaps six would be my new record.
"Let's do this," I said, running toward them. I swung and hacked, and when my knives were kicked from my hands, I used my fists and feet. Just as I was making headway, something large and heavy barreled into my midsection, sending me crashing to the ground. And before I could say or do anything else, a fist came toward my face, and everything was dark.
I awoke in a familiar room—the posters on the bed still bore the scuff marks from the night I was handcuffed to it. For a moment, I wondered if the past few months had been a dream. Had I just imagined that Ilara had taken over my kingdom? Had it been one long, tortuous nightmare?
I slid my hand across my stomach, finding the scar there. No, definitely not a dream.
"Good morning."
My pulse spiked as I rose slowly. Ilara sat in a chair across the room from me. It was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at her since the day she'd given me the scar. Her eyes were colder than I remembered, her smile wide but calculating. Perhaps it was just because I knew better, but I couldn't find the girl who'd befriended me.
"Well?" she said. "Aren't you going to say good morning back?"
"I'm surprised I'm not in the dungeons," I said slowly. "Or dead."
"Clearly, killing you doesn't work," Ilara said with a knowing look. "Instead, I thought I might show you a bit of mercy. After all, the Brynna I know wouldn't get captured by a pair of guards. You're better than that."
"I made a mistake," I said, forcing myself to look angry.
"Katarine should've provided better guidance, then."
"And I'm sure she would have, if I'd seen her," I said with a glare. "Isn't she here with you?"
"No. Unfortunately, she absconded with Felix a few weeks ago," Ilara cast me a curious look. "You mean to tell me they didn't away to your side?"
I dug through my memories to when I'd been convinced that Katarine and Felix had forgotten me. The pain was as fresh now as it had been then.
"No," I said. "I don't even think they knew where to find me."
"Beswick did," she said with a look. "Oh, I'm sure that must've stung. Getting bitten by the same snake twice." She tapped her nose. "You took your eyes off the main enemy to focus on the one you wanted."
"Are you just here to gloat?" I snapped. "Or are you going to have me executed?"
"Oh, dearest Brynn," she said, sending a surge of white-hot fury through my veins, "I'm not going to kill you. At least not yet. You see, there seems to be a pernicious rumor around that I don't have complete and total control of my kingdom. But now, I have you. So I'm sure I can put those silly rumors to rest."
"So, what?" Curiosity—real this time. "You're just going to let me stay here?"
"For a bit." She stood. "How long you remain alive depends on how nicely you play with me. I have to say, I'm honestly excited to see just how long you last." She walked to the door. "I'll have someone come up with some breakfast. I do hope I don't have to handcuff you to the bed like Felix did."
She winked and walked out the door.
Once it was shut, and her footsteps had faded, I flung the sheets off me, running to the window to catch my breath. Five minutes in, and I was already sweating bullets. This lying thing was going to take some practice, and I didn't have much time to learn.
I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the Mother. It was up to my army now to keep on the path toward victory. All I had to do was trust that they'd get to me before Ilara's patience ran out.
Next Book in the Series
Brynna's adventures will conclude in
Arriving Winter 2020
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Thank You
Thank you to Kristin and to Alice for helping me beta read and get this one just right.
Thank you to Dani, my magnificent line editor, for always helping me make things better.
Thank you to my QA checker, Lisa, who always manages to find the small little details that I miss. And in this case, helped me make sure I didn't write myself into a hole.
The Veil of Trust Page 34
