by Maddie Wade
“You okay to hang here while I talk to Jack a minute?”
“Yes, of course.”
Blake stood suddenly making her jump. “What you want with Jack?”
“Blake!” Lacey caught the warning in Pax’s voice as Blake moved in on Gunner.
Blake glanced back at Pax and then returned his glare to Gunner. The tension in the room had skyrocketed, and she didn’t really understand why but suspected Blake had some sort of beef with Gunner still.
Blake looked at her, and she could see the anger burning him. “He tell you what he did?”
Pax stood, and the chair she was sitting on fell to the floor. “Blake! Enough.”
Blake looked at the woman he clearly loved, and she could see he was torn.
“No, Pax it’s not. It will never be enough. He watched while two men beat you and left you for dead and he did fuck all to stop it happening.”
Lacey felt bile burn her throat at the words and her eyes shot to Gunner, wanting him to deny it, but she could see by the guilt in his eyes and the fact he made no move to defend himself that it was true.
“Is it true?” Lacey hated that her voice shook like it did and the quiver in her bottom lip as she barely held herself together. She could feel other people behind her and knew more had walked in the room and were watching her humiliation.
“Yes.”
A sob burst from her, and she turned to Liam who was behind her. “Can you take me home, please?” She saw him look at Gunner, and then he nodded. “Sure, sugar, let’s go.”
Lacey kept her hand on her stomach to try and hold the sickness at bay until she could get some air. The room felt stifling and hot, and she knew it would only be minutes before she broke down.
Shouting from behind her made her turn to see Pax storm from the room with Blake following after her, but all she could see was the look of hurt on Gunner’s face. It broke her heart that he was hurting, but she couldn’t be with a man who could allow that to happen.
Liam guided her into his car, and she instantly missed the familiar scent of Gunner’s ride.
Liam was silent until they got to her house. “Life is rarely as simple as black and white, Lacey. Blake was wrong to do what he just did.”
“Was he lying?” Lacey desperately wanted Liam to say yes, but she already knew the answer because it was plastered on Gunner’s face.
“No, but…”
Lacey shook her head. “No buts. I can’t be with a man who would allow that. End of story.”
Liam’s jaw ticked, and she could see he wanted to say more, but he kept quiet. “Let’s get you inside.” Liam walked her in, and she turned at the door once he’d done a sweep of the house. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”
“Thank you, but I think I might try and get some sleep, it’s been a busy week.”
Liam shoved his hands in his pockets. “Okay, Lacey.”
As soon as the door closed, she could feel the tears overwhelming her and barely made it upstairs to her bedroom that still smelled like Gunner before the tears came. She cried for what might have been, for Pax, for Milla, for herself and what she’d been building with Gunner that was now lost. Mostly she cried for him. He had so much good inside him, so much to give, but that was the one thing she couldn’t forgive.
Her hand moved to her belly, and she wondered if a child grew inside her that would be dragged into this mess. She wished that she could say she didn’t want that, but the truth was, no matter what Gunner had done she couldn’t be with him. The stark truth was she loved him. Sometime in the last ten days, she’d fallen in love with a man she now realised she hardly knew. She’d thought he was a protector, but no protector would allow what he’d allowed to happen.
Lacey felt nausea bubble up again, and the pain in her head make her feel worse as she cried herself to sleep, allowing blessed exhaustion to render her unconscious from the pain and the grief.
Chapter 13
Gunner stood motionless watching the woman he at this moment realised he loved, walk away with Liam a look of betrayal and disappointment on her face.
“How could you, Blake?” Gunner turned to Pax who had grabbed hold of Blake’s arm. “We both know he had no choice. If he’d intervened, they would have killed Milla, and she, unlike me, was completely helpless.”
“He should have found a way.” Blake looked less confident now, but Gunner didn’t care. He closed down every emotion he had, allowing nothing to penetrate his now broken heart. He should go after her and try and explain, but Blake was right, he’d done those things. There was no defending himself. The best thing he could do for Lacey would be to stay away from her and let her live her life. If there was a child from their night in Germany, that would be different, but if not, he should walk away.
“Jack, I need to talk to you.”
Jack was watching from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and a look of anger on his face. Gunner didn’t know if it was directed at him or not, but right now, he didn’t care. He just wanted to relay this information about his father and update him on the contact with Bás, and then he was going to find a bar and get blind drunk.
Lacey would be safe with Liam and Waggs. He trusted them to keep the woman he loved more than his own pathetic life safe from harm.
“Sure, follow me.” Jack glanced at Alex. “Get everyone in the gym in twenty minutes, and I mean everyone except Liam and Waggs. Leave them on Lacey.”
Alex dipped his head in agreement, and Gunner followed Jack back to his office.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
Jack leaned back on his desk, crossing his arms, and watched Gunner. “Why do you do that? Take the blame for everyone else when it isn’t on you?”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Well, that was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t. Blake has every right to be angry, but he doesn’t have the right to do what he just did.”
“He’s hurting. I understand it, Jack. I would be the same if it was Lacey.”
“Maybe but there are ways of doing something, and that fucking ambush wasn’t it.”
Gunner didn’t know what to say to that, so he waited it out.
Jack sighed and uncrossed his arms. “What did you want to tell me?”
“I was in town with Lacey when your father approached us.”
Jack’s face turned to granite; the emotions impossible to read. Only the vibe of fury he was throwing off allowed any insight into how he was feeling.
“And what did dear old dad have to say?”
Gunner could hear the control and the strain in the simple, almost jovial sentence and braced. “Just that he was glad I was working for his sons again and that I should keep Lacey safe as the world was a dangerous place.”
The air in the room suddenly seemed sucked of oxygen and then came the explosion.
“God damn motherfucker. I’m gonna kill him.” Jack spun and swept everything off his desk in a rare show of temper. Gunner stepped back not sure what to do as Jack went on a rampage, throwing the chair across the room. The office door flew open, and Astrid stood in the doorway, looking shocked.
“What the fuck, Granger?”
“Get out, Astrid. I can’t be doing with you right now.”
“Tough shit, because I’m not leaving.”
Gunner stepped up as Alex came running.
“What the hell happened?” Alex glanced at Gunner with a frown, seeking answers to why their boss looked ready to commit murder.
“Everybody, get the fuck out of my office. Now.”
Alex and Gunner paused, then backed away, but Astrid didn’t move.
“You should leave.” Alex touched Astrid on the arm, and she pulled away.
“You go. I’ll be there in a second.”
Jack was silent, leaning on the table with his back to them, breathing hard and Gunner could see he was struggling. He would be too. To know that your own parent hated you enough to try and take everything fro
m you must be difficult at best.
Alex shrugged, and Gunner followed him out as he closed the door. They both knew Jack would never lay a finger on Astrid or any other woman for that matter, and maybe having someone who wasn’t Eidolon or family to stand with him was what he needed.
“What happened?” Gunner had his hands in his pockets as they moved down the hallway. They stopped at the door of the gym where everyone was waiting for Jack to come out and ream them a new asshole. To say he was angry was an understatement. Gunner avoided everyone’s eyes, not wanting to get into a conversation about what happened with Lacey or Jack. He had no idea if Jack had told the team about his father, but that wasn’t his news to tell.
“Listen, Alex, not to be a dick, but you need to ask Jack that. Whatever I told him is his to share or not. I just want to get the hell out of here.”
Gunner could feel the eyes of the others on him, and it made his skin itch. He wanted out of there before he did or said something he’d regret.
“Blake was out of line, but he’s sore over it.”
Gunner looked up at his old teammate. It was becoming ever more apparent that he wouldn’t be able to slip back into the team he’d once loved and betrayed. “I get it, Alex, I do. I did some bad shit to you guys, and I can’t take it back. I don’t expect forgiveness or redemption. I just want to get this shit done so I can move on.”
Alex raised his eyebrows. “You won’t be coming back?”
Gunner gave a humourless laugh. “How can I, man?”
Alex stayed quiet, having no more answers than he did.
“Look, tell Jack he knows how to reach me, and I’ll be in touch.”
Gunner went to walk away, and Alex grabbed his arm. “You got someplace to stay?”
He didn’t. He hadn’t bothered to sort somewhere, and then he’d been with Lacey. Just the thought of her made his chest ache. He wouldn’t admit that to Alex, though. It was about time he remembered that the only person he should rely on was himself. His team were gone, at least for him they were.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Gunner shook off the arm and walked out of the building to his car. He got in and gripped the steering wheel hard. The car smelled like her, the soft scent swirling around him in the warm heat of the August afternoon. Just an hour ago, he’d been happier than he could ever remember being, and now it was all gone. Swept away like dust on the wind and he could blame nobody but himself.
He wondered if his choices would always be in the way of his future and knew they would. Some things you could not walk away from, and his decisions to let Pax be beaten and help Callie be kidnapped were some of them. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a choice, Blake was right. He should have found a way.
Starting the car, he headed into town to find a bar and get so drunk it didn’t matter where he slept. He just needed to forget the shit show his life had become. He was tired, so very tired of fighting all the time.
He left his car, a loaner from Eidolon, in the carpark near the football ground and headed into the old part of the town. The newly developed Old Market was full of shops and eateries, but he just needed a good old-fashioned pub where he could sit at the bar and get drunk without anyone bothering him.
Walking into the Litchfield Vaults, he breathed in the smell of beer and welcomed the darkness of the bar. Sitting on a stool, he ordered a double Vodka straight. When the barmaid brought it over, she gave him a flirty smile which he returned for just a fraction of a second before a sense that he was betraying Lacey by even smiling at the other women overcame him and he shut it down.
Knocking back the drink, he lifted his finger for another. “Keep them coming.”
“No problem, handsome.”
Swirling the clear liquid, he wondered if Lacey was okay. Was she upset or did she consider she’d had a lucky escape? He almost wished for the second because the thought of her in pain made his heart ache. He would do anything not to have hurt her. He’d known the full truth about some of what he’d done, or not done in some cases, would hurt her and he wondered now if it was why he’d avoided the details.
Was he so desperate that he had to hide his true self to get the woman he wanted? Probably, but it had worked for a short time, and he couldn’t regret it. His time with Lacey had shown him how life could have been. Given him a glimpse into what he might have had, and he would treasure it. But the pain of losing her was almost too much to bear, and he had no clue how Alex had done it, mourning Evelyn for so long.
He could feel his thoughts becoming jumbled as he knocked back glass number four or was it five? He didn’t remember, but the pain was easing, which was good. He’d never been a big drinker, but he could see the appeal as things became numb.
Chapter 14
Jack knew the second the door closed on Gunner and Alex that Astrid had completely ignored him. The stubborn woman had no sense of self-preservation and getting under his skin and winding him up seemed to be her sole mission in life. But right now, he wasn’t sure he could hold himself in check as he should.
The anger burning inside him was consuming him to the point he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think straight. His control on everything was slipping, his team were fighting amongst themselves, his father wasn’t even hiding his misdeeds any longer, and the threat to the Palace became more viable every day.
“Go, Astrid.”
She was the one person he couldn’t be around. His attraction for the irritating woman was at odds with how annoying he found her. She was beautiful, no doubt about that, smart, sexy, funny, but she was also reckless and wild, and he had no place in his life for that.
“No.”
Jack spun around so fast, pinning her to the door with his body, his breath coming fast as he looked down into the stunning unique eyes of the woman who made his blood boil. A ring of aqua green blending into almost amber in the middle, they had captivated him from the beginning.
Jack grasped her wrists in his hands, holding them against the door, the feel of her soft body against his hard one a torturous pleasure.
“Get the fuck out before I do something we’ll both regret.”
The little minx licked her bottom lip and pushed against him, making him fight to hold back the moan.
“How do you know what I’ll regret? You don’t know the first thing about me.”
“I know you like to live dangerously, that you love the thrill of danger, that one day you’re going to wind up dead because you don’t know when to back down.”
Astrid smiled, and it made his cock ache to push inside her and ride all that wild sexiness until she was a pile of satisfied woman lying over him. Then maybe she would be too exhausted to go out looking for danger.
“I see you listed all my best qualities.”
Jack shook his head and stroked his finger down her cheek, relishing the satin feel of her peaches and cream skin so at odds with her ballsy attitude. She looked like an English rose with her blonde hair, willowy figure, and blush pink lips, but she had the mouth of a sailor and the grit of an army commander.
“You’re a mystery in some ways, but I see the death wish, Astrid. The way you flirt with danger.”
He sucked in a breath when she bit down on the finger he was using to stroke her face. Sucking the digit into her mouth like she was starving, laving it with her tongue to soothe the pain. His dick was now screaming for the release he knew he could find with her. Astrid wanted him, she’d made no secret of it, and against his better judgement, he wanted her too. He’d stayed away, wanting nothing to do with the hate fuck she wanted.
He and Astrid were like oil and water; they didn’t mix well at all. Except between the sheets, he knew there they’d be spectacular.
He was two seconds from making a huge mistake when a bang on the door behind him brought him back from his insanity.
“Jack, everyone is in the gym waiting for you.”
He pulled back, turning away as if he’d been burned and glared at the woman who’d wov
en her witchcraft on him.
“I’ll be out now.” His voice at least sounded normal even if his body and emotions felt anything but.
“You know, Jack, you should lighten up, have some fun, it might be good for you.”
The words he’d heard all his life, about lightening up made him react. He turned to her with a sneer. “What? With you? No thanks.” He knew the second the words left his mouth they’d been the wrong thing to say and expecting her anger, he was gutted when he saw the pain he’d caused flash across her features before she buried it deep and gave him a one-shouldered shrug.
“Nah, not me. I’ll never let you touch me, Jack.”
He stayed rooted to the spot as she put her hands in her jacket pockets and spun, leaving him standing there feeling like he’d just made a colossal mistake and having no idea how to fix it or even if he wanted too.
Rubbing his eyes, he realised he felt calmer than he had before his altercation with Astrid. Less like he was out of options with no way to stop the free fall. Managing to gather the threads of his control, he looked around at his trashed office ashamed that he’d done such damage in a fit of rage at the man who was meant to be his protector but was, in fact, his enemy.
It was a bitter pill to swallow but one he had to take, nevertheless. Righting his chair, he knew it was time to go out and fix the mess his team was becoming, and that started with him being honest.
He walked into the gym and looked around as the six men talking in hushed tones as they waited for him, went silent. Blake, Reid, Lopez, Decker, Alex, and Mitch. The others were on duty with Lacey, but he didn’t see Gunner.
He folded his arms to keep his anger at bay. “Where’s Gunner?”
“He left.”
He looked at Alex in question. “I thought I made it clear I wanted every member of this team here.”
Alex looked at Mitch and back to Jack. “We didn’t realise Gunner was back on the team and neither, it seems, did he.”
Jack rubbed his brow where a headache was forming.
“Then let me make it clear for you now. Gunner is a member of this team, and if anyone doesn’t like it,” he pointed behind him at the exit, “then the door is that way. This is my team, and I say who is on it and who is not. I understand the bad blood won’t dissolve overnight and wrongs will need to be worked through but what happened today is not how we do things.” He was looking directly at Blake as he spoke.
