by Maddie Wade
He and Aaron had done everything together, even joined the army together. Then they’d applied for Special Forces Training together where their natural competitiveness had gotten them through ninety-five weeks of gruelling hard work, but they had both got through it, the bond they shared stronger than ever. Ending up in the 5th Special Forces Group stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, together had been the icing on the cake for the brothers who were so close.
Serving alongside Aaron as a Green Beret had been the biggest honour of Waggs’ life. He had become a medic, and Aaron had trained as a sniper. Between them, they’d been invincible, able to read each other’s thoughts and actions with the eerie accuracy that only twins could do. He’d often known before Aaron did when his brother was sick or hurt, happy or sad, and the same had been the case for Aaron.
When Aaron met Willow Yates, he’d been so damn happy for him, burying his own attraction to her until he was sure he had it under control, that nobody knew he loved Willow too, and not as the sister she’d one day become after Aaron asked her to marry him and she said yes. Then they’d deployed to the sandbox straight after the engagement, and a routine aid mission had gone to hell.
Waggs grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a swig, enjoying the burn of liquid as painful memories flooded his mind.
A child no older than eight or nine had run up to Aaron in the village, which wasn’t unusual; it happened when they visited the villages, keeping peace among the people of Afghanistan. Yet this had been different. Waggs had an awful gut reaction that something was wrong. Everything around him dimmed until he could see the four men at the corner of the village watching the child.
He’d seen the looks of malice and triumph on their faces and he’d known, but before he had a chance to react, the bomb had exploded. The force had thrown him backwards, to the ground, winding him and knocking him senseless for a second, and then he’d rolled, and his vision had blurred. As the smoke receded and he’d seen Aaron, or what was left of him. Waggs had scrambled to his brother, his brain trying to assess the damage. The medic in him knowing it was too late, but the brother fought the horror of reality.
He’d grabbed Aaron’s hand as his brother blinked up at him in shock, the bottom half of his body mostly gone, the fact he was still alive giving Waggs false hope.
“Hang in there, Aaron. We’re gonna get you some help.”
He tried to see what he could do, but even if he had an operating table in front of him, the damage was too extensive. His bottom half was just torn flesh, blood, and gore the stuff of horror movies, but this wasn’t a movie; it was his brother’s broken body.
“Aiden.” His brother coughed, and his lips were covered in the blood from his lungs, which Aiden knew were full of blood.
“I’m here, Aaron.”
“I’m scared.”
Waggs fought tears as he held on to his brother’s hand so tight, willing him to live despite everything. “Don’t be scared, Aaron. I won’t leave you.”
And he hadn’t. He hadn’t left when his brother drew his last breath and slipped from the world, leaving him alone for the first time in his existence. He sat by his coffin as they waited for a plane to take them home, and he sat by his side on the aircraft. Waggs never left his twin once until they lowered him into the ground and his casket was covered in mud.
Closing his eyes he relived those days over and over, only allowing himself to do it on the anniversary of his brother’s death. If he let it out at any other time, then he knew he’d crawl into the ground and die like Aaron had, like he wished every day he had.
His brother had every reason to live, and yet he couldn’t save him. It was something he struggled to live with, but it was the guilt of what he’d done next that ate him up every night. It was the reason he fought to help so many find the peace they sought because he’d never have it again.
The funeral had been horrific, his mother sobbing, his father holding her up both physically and mentally, as Waggs had stood stoic in his dress uniform, knowing that if he let the grief free, it would consume him until he was a mess on the ground.
Willow had sat silently crying, with her parents on either side supporting her, and Waggs had once again wished it had been him who died. He loved Willow, and so had his brother. She’d chosen well with Aaron, not that it had been a choice. Nobody knew how he felt, and he’d make sure it stayed that way, but he would look after her.
Aaron had loved her so much and Aiden would make sure she was okay. The only problem was he’d taken it too far; they both had. He’d left Kentucky for his last tour before he retired from the military, his heart no longer in it and hadn’t seen her again until the call that changed everything and it shamed him enough that he’d run thousands of miles away and joined Eidolon.
They were his brothers now, and he loved them and would die for them, but nobody would ever replace his twin because they couldn’t.
Standing on legs that were unsteady after drinking most of a bottle of liquor, Waggs poured the rest over the headstone. “Love you, bro. I wish every day it had been me who died.” He tried to swallow the sob that lurched up to his throat and failed. “I miss you so much, Aaron. I wish you were here, and you could see the beauty you created. If I could go back, I’d make sure you lived. I let you down and I’m so sorry.”
Tears tracked down his face as the silence of the cemetery surrounded him, and he let the grief out. Tomorrow he’d shore it up and go home, back to Hereford where he could breathe a little easier from the guilt and shame, but first, he needed to see her.
Walking the few blocks from the cemetery to Willow’s home on the outskirts of Lexington, he tried to remember the sound of his brother’s voice and couldn’t. It made him panic, so he called up his saved messages and played the last one Aaron had sent him. The sound of his brother’s voice almost made his legs give way; the loss was so intense. Physical pain never hurt this bad. This was like living with a dagger through the heart.
He got to the red door with pink and purple flowers in the front yard and stopped. Part of him knew he shouldn’t be there, that no good would ever come of it, but that didn’t stop him knocking on the door. He held on to the frame as he swayed, the alcohol he’d consumed catching up with him.
The door opened, and there she was the love of both his and his brother’s life.
Willow gripped the door frame, and he could see him being there hurt her and yet he couldn’t stop. She was looking up at him with her dark chocolate brown eyes. Her long lashes swept across her pink cheeks as she closed her eyes briefly, her arms crossed over her middle as if to protect herself. “What are you doing here, Aiden?”
“Please, Willow, I won’t stay long.”
Willow sighed and his eyes went to her small breasts, her flat tummy, and down to her long-tanned legs that made his mouth water. She was wearing sleep shorts, a tee and looked so young. Yet the pain she held was there in her eyes.
Stumbling past her, he caught her scent, and it was like coming home. It was so familiar and yet hurt so much. Fresh and floral, it danced around him. She uncrossed her arms, and he could see the points of her nipples through the top she wore, her chestnut hair had waves in it today and fell to her shoulders. She looked pretty, but then she always had, even grief hadn’t dulled her light.
Moving past him, she opened the bedroom door and moved back. Waggs stopped, staring at the precious form of his sleeping nephew.
AJ was just five years old and had been conceived the night before he and Aaron had redeployed. He walked closer and sank to his knees by the bed, looking at the boy who was the image of his father in every way and, therefore, him too. He stroked the blond hair back from his head and wished his brother were there to see his son, to play catch and teach him to ride a bike.
Aaron would be horrified with the way Aiden had abandoned Willow and AJ, but he’d be furious if he knew the rest.
Waggs straightened and saw Willow leaning against the door-jamb, arms crossed over her m
iddle as if it physically pained her to watch him with AJ. He leaned down and kissed the child’s head, wishing he were a better man.
Moving back into the hallway of the single-story home, he looked around and saw that it really was a home. Willow had made this a place for her and her son, with pictures of his father around the room, some including him in them, too. He picked one up and studied it, and it showed him and Aaron with their arms around each other’s shoulders the day they’d passed their Special Forces training. The smiles on their faces and the hope and excitement were gone now for both of them.
“You can’t keep doing this, Aiden. You’re only hurting us both.”
He turned and looked at her, the peachy flesh of her lips, the curve of her breast in the cheap white t-shirt, and he thought she’d never looked more beautiful.
“I know.”
Then he dropped the picture on the side and took her in his arms, backing her against the wall and kissing her like she was the air he needed to breathe. Each tearing at the other clothes as passion and grief, love and betrayal consumed them, and they did the one thing they shouldn’t do. It had begun the night they’d buried Aaron, and every year on the anniversary of his death they’d found solace in each other’s arms.
It was never spoken of or talked about—it just was. It was the one night he allowed himself to pretend that she was his, that life hadn’t dealt them the cruellest of blows. They spent the night in each other’s arms and then in the morning he was gone.
She was back to being a mother, and he went back to his life on the other side of the world.
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Books by Maddie Wade
Fortis Security
Healing Danger (Dane and Lauren)
Stolen Dreams (Nate and Skye)
Love Divided (Jace and Lucy)
Secret Redemption (Zack and Ava)
Broken Butterfly (Zin and Celeste)
Arctic Fire (Kanan and Roz)
Phoenix Rising (Daniel and Megan)
Nate & Skye Wedding Novella
Digital Desire (Will and Aubrey)
Paradise Ties: A Fortis Wedding Novella (Jace and Lucy & Dane and Lauren)
Wounded Hearts (Drew and Mara)
Scarred Sunrise (Smithy and Lizzie)
Zin and Celeste: A Fortis Family Christmas
Fortis Boxset 1 (Books 1-3)
Fortis Boxset 2 (Books 4-7.5
Eidolon
Alex
Blake
Reid
Liam
Mitch
Gunner
Waggs
Alliance Agency Series (co-written with India Kells)
Deadly Alliance
Knight Watch
Hidden Obsession
Lethal Justice
Innocent Target
Ryoshi Delta (part of Susan Stoker’s Police and Fire: Operation Alpha World)
Condor’s Vow
Sandstorm’s Promise (coming soon)
Tightrope Duet
Tightrope One
Tightrope Two
Angels of the Triad
01 Sariel
Other Worlds
Keeping Her Secrets Suspenseful Seduction World (Samantha A. Cole’s World)
Finding English Police and Fire: Operation Alpha (Susan Stoker’s world)
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