by Debbie Civil
Chapter 26
Carmen
Dinner sucked. Because Eli’s wedding planner is a total idiot, she decided that the rehearsal dinner would be assigned seating. Jake and Jill skipped out on the joyous occasion, I had two empty seats between me and my father. What made things worst was that I had the privilege of sitting across from Malcolm, who spent the entire night talking to Danny. The photographer had the seat beside Danny, and he mostly took pictures. So I spent the entire night utterly alone.
I walk out onto the patio, the sky filled with bright stars. It feels good to be out of that ridiculous dress. Eli begged me to wear it. She claimed that the clothing would pull me out of whatever funk I am in. I wish that she knew she’s one of the people making things worse. My entire life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a part of something. My cousin took that chance from me when she decided that my being the maid of honor wasn’t the best choice. Because she had chosen Danny, I was “accidentally” left out of the bachelorette party. I found out about it two hours two late thanks to an Instagram picture that Eli posted. So while everyone is getting drunk and partying, I’m out on the patio sipping sweet tea. It’s cool out, but I don’t care. I like the breeze. At least it brushing against my skin is allowing me to feel something other than hurt or loneliness.
“Hey, Carmen,” Chelsea says as she plops down beside me. She’s sipping from a bottle of pink lemonade. From what Grace told me, that was the drink while the two of them were at boarding school.
“Hey.” Speaking is so difficult. But I force myself to do so.
“I’m sorry about Jake,” she softly tells me.
“He told me that he wanted to try to be in a relationship with me. Then, he went and took it all back.” I’m crying, the tears falling from my face like a drizzle. It’s like my body can’t make out whether it should cry or not.
“Have your tried talking to him?” Chelsea asks.
“He’s been busy with Jill. Well, that’s not true. I did talk to him. I wish that I hadn’t”. I suck in a breath, let it out, and sip at my tea. Chelsea rubs my back. The kind gesture is comforting. At least someone cares this much about me.
“What happened?”
“I told him that we could only be friends.”
“It’s okay, Carmen. There will be other guys. You just need to broaden your horizons,” Chelsea brightly tells me.
“I can’t. He’s….”
“No. I will not allow you to do this. I did this with Adam, Carmen. As much as I like Jake, he’s being a jack hole right now.” I nod, because what can I say? Chelsea is right. He hasn’t been kind to me lately. How could Jake kiss me then bring Jill around here? Didn’t he think about what that was going to do to me? Especially considering the secret that I’ve been holding onto. I stare at Chelsea, and all I’m thinking is that she needs to know. She has to know. Even if Chelsea hates me, she has to realize the truth. So with a heavy heart, I tell her everything. I think that the girl is going to call me a liar. Maybe she’ll tell me to go to hell. People have interesting ways of responding to hard truths. Instead, Chelsea wraps an arm around me.
“Mom has always been crazy,” she mutters. “I just couldn’t see it.”
“What do we do?” I ask. Chelsea jerks back and grabs my chin.
“You are staying out of this, Carmen. You won’t breathe a word of this to anyone else. Ratting Mom out is my decision, not yours. Do you hear me?” She looks at me with desperation in her eyes. I don’t think that she’s noticing, but she’s squeezing my chin hard. I nod as much as I can. “Carmen, say it.”
“I won’t say anything, Chelsea. Neither will Jake and Kailey. They don’t want to get involved,” I assure her. Chelsea sighs and then releases her grip on me.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Carmen. You got shot because of me. I would hate it if something else happened. Who knows how unhinged Mom really is.” She’s scared for me. I want to reassure Chelsea that everything is going to be okay, but I can’t. She’s going through so much since the trial is starting on September 18th. I imagine that she’s feeling anxious.
“I’m so sorry that I kept this from you, Chelsea,” I say, realizing my error. Chelsea sighs.
“You didn’t want me to hate you. I get that. But Carmen, seriously, don’t hide anything like that from me, again,” she warns.
“I won’t.”
“And don’t go snooping to try to figure out what happened. I don’t need you going all Nancy Drew on me,” Chelsea whispers.
“I won’t,” I tell her. Chelsea nods and kisses my forehead. And then her confused blue eyes meet mine. It is as if she’s realized something that hadn’t occurred to her.
“What are you doing here?” she slowly asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Why aren’t you with Eli and the other girls?”
“I wasn’t invited. I didn’t know that they were even having a bachelorette party until I saw Eli’s picture on Instagram.” She purses her lips in contemplation.
“Maybe you and I should have a girl’s night. Peter is at his parent’s house helping with a few things. He won’t be back until tomorrow morning. Come on,” Chelsea encourages. I stand, pick up my glass of ice tea, and follow her inside.
