by Debbie Civil
Chapter 41
Jake
“Can I join you?” Jill asks as I’m sitting on the patio. It has been a long night. Kenny had to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. He has a concussion. Carmen is inside tucked in bed. I practically had to carry her up the steps. Chelsea and Peter are both gone. I don’t know whether he has changed her mind yet. “Jake,” a voice calls, interrupting my train of thought. I was so lost in thought that I have forgotten Jill. What has she asked? Oh, she wants to know if she can sit here. I nod. She takes the chair beside me and glares at the Sam Adams that I’m nursing. She looks disappointed.
“I’m sorry about what Ashley said. She’s worried about me,” Jill begins. “You see, I…”
“You’re in love with me,” I fill in with dread. Jill nods gravely.
“What about Derrick?” She shrugs.
“The twisted thing is that I do like Derrick a lot. But part of me wonders what things would be like if we were together. We had so much fun. Jake, it’s refreshing being with someone who doesn’t care who you are. That first night, in the apartment, I felt like a normal twenty-one year old hanging with a cute guy. It was refreshing.” Jill wraps her arms around herself. She must be cold. I’m wearing a hoodie, and she’s only in a tank top and lounge pants. I fight the instinct to give her another layer. I’ve read enough of Kailey’s romance novels to know that girls read into that kind of thing.
“What do you love about me?” I ask that question to prove a point. She can’t love me. I barely spoke to her.
“Oh, Jake, if only you could experience what I do when I’m with you,” she says longingly.
“What do you mean?”
“I love the way you smile, the sound of your voice, the way you smell. I love how you rub the back of your neck when you’re aggravated and how you say very little. I love how much you care about people. I love how much of a gentlemen you are. You told me about the situation. You didn’t lead me on. And that’s what I love about you most, Jake. You are honest. You don’t find too many guys like that,” Jill tells me, and I realize that this will suck.
“Jill, I’m sorry that you love me.”
“I’m not,” she responds. Then she smiles at me.
“Why?”
“I’ve never been in love before. It was nice,” she wistfully comments.
“Jill, you should focus on Derrick. He feels the same for you,” I argue.
“Jake, why are you so fixated on Carmen? What is it about her that you love? You two are complete opposites,” she snaps. She’s frustrated. This is what I really need, a girl that’s determined to make me love her.
“You don’t know anything about Carmen.” My words come out in a hiss, and I don’t mean them too. I’m just sick and tired of people who think that they know me.
“Jake, why do you love her?” I’m not playing this game.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters. Go on, Jake, tell me why you love her.” She’s pleading with her blue eyes, and I can see hope flicker in them when I don’t answer her. She thinks that I don’t really love Carmen. But I don’t want to tell her because I don’t want to hurt her. But after a silence that is so thick that neither of us can breathe under its weight, I speak.
“I was lost. I had no idea what to do and where to go. At night, I always asked God for a miracle. I just wanted to be happy again. I can’t stand crowds. They are suffocating. It was the weekend before the fourth of July. Mom insisted on having a huge party with a ton of people that I didn’t care about. I tried to stay in the shadows, but everyone kept on talking to me, wanting to know how my new job was going. I really didn’t want to talk about anything much. Danny had bought Dom to the party, which meant that everyone had to deal with them holding hands, bragging about one another, and our parents bragging about them. I remembered thinking that Adriana and I were once that couple. Every time I thought of her, I felt hollow. All I wanted was a distraction. That’s when I laid eyes on Carmen. I concentrated on her light brown eyes, her caramel colored skin, and the way that her lips formed a smile. I yearned for her to talk to me. I liked the way that she smelled. She always smells like oranges. I love that about her. I also love that she’s determined, smart, compassionate and loyal. She’s soft and gentle, and her laugh is beautiful. Her…” I pause as I notice that a tear has fallen down Jill’s cheek. She doesn’t even bother hiding it.
“So you love her because her presence helps you deal with crowds?” She’s aggravated.
“No, I love her because she’s a miracle, Jill.” Hasn’t she been paying attention? Jill nods in understanding.
“So, there is no chance of us being together?”
“No,” I bluntly say, just to make sure that she doesn’t have any false hope. Jill straightens, her face lighting up.
“Ashley is coming to town next week. She and I are going on a lunch date,” Jill begins.
“And?”
“She’s moving the show to Gately. I’m going to be a recurring guest on the show. Hopefully, if I’m followed, the charity work I do will inspire people to help,” Jill says. “That’s the only way that I’m entertaining this idea.”
“Sharp Michaels is moving to Gately?” I ask, dread filling my gut.
“His old man retired here. They are working on patching up their relationship,” she tells me.
“Let me guess, the show will follow that.”
“Yes. Apparently, the footage that they shot for the Rhino is going to appear on the first episode. Perhaps, you can make peace with Sharp. It would be good for your reputation. I’ve also asked Derrick if he would join the show. Maybe if people think that our split was mutual, they won’t be so hard on you,” Jill reasons.
“Why did you tell me you love me, if you’re planning on being with Derrick?”
“Because, I wanted to get it off my chest. I needed closure.”
“What if I had loved you?” I need the answer to this question. It seems odd that she approached me like this for closure. I don’t buy it.
“If you had loved me, I would have told you that we aren’t going to be together anymore. Jake, you are a good guy, but a terrible person to date. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m concerned about you. Maybe, you need therapy for your anger issues,” she suggests. And now I know what this really is about.
“Who else is coming to Gately?” I ask, focusing on Jill’s face.
“Adriana. After her split with Dillon, she’s decided that she needs to find herself. Ashley and I are going to help her do that. So…”
“So, you heard about what happened at the party,” I say, rather than ask.
“Yes. That’s why I think that you are so loyal. Jake, I understand why you are angry with Adriana. But she isn’t the same person she was six years ago,” Jill pleads. Somehow, I don’t believe what she says. Jill is a good person. But she has one flaw. She’s blinded. She will also do anything to preserve her career and do anything to make the media believe that she truly is America’s Darling. She may have gotten a glimpse of me, but I know who she really is. It’s too bad that many people don’t know how refreshing she can be when she doesn’t have a complex.
“Do you really believe that Ashley mentioned me by accident?” I ask Jill. She meets my eyes, and I can see the sincerity in them.
“Yes, I do believe that she misspoke. My best friend wouldn’t have broken my confidence like that.” Being naïve in Hollywood isn’t a trait that will get you far. Part of me wants to tell Jill that she’s being foolish. That’s another thing that I love about Carmen. When people screw her over, she is practical enough to address it. Jill is just sticking her head in the sand. I’m positive that Ashley would ruin her friend’s reputation to get good ratings. She doesn’t give a crap about how important Jill’s image is to her.
“Let’s agree to disagree. I don’t believe in coincidences,” I state. Judging by the expression on Jill’s face, she wants me to drop the subject,
so I do. It’s up to Derrick to protect her.
“Dillon is also going to make an appearance on the show. Will you?”
“I’d have to ask Carmen,” I reply instead of saying no. In truth, this might be a good opportunity to make things right with Sharp. Though, after Carmen found out about how her cousin Amber was used, I don’t think that she’ll be too happy about me shaking hands with the guy.
“I’m not surprised by your answer, Jake. You’re on thin ice with her, and you won’t want to screw things up,” Jill says before going back inside.
