by Alexa Land
I asked, “There are no tacos to be found in the Marina District?”
“It’s the chimichangas that keep bringing me back to this place,” Dante said, peering into the Jetta’s engine.
I asked, “The what now?”
“Chimichangas. You know, a deep-fried burrito with sauce?”
I chuckled and said, “I know what a chimichanga is, I just wanted to hear you say it again.”
Dante tried to scowl, but it got lost in a grin. “Why?”
“Because it’s hilarious. You don’t say it right. Makes you sound like an elderly white person at Taco Bell for the first time.” I put on a rough old-man voice and barked, “You kids got some of them chee-me-chaaaaaangas?”
Charlie and Cameron burst out laughing, and Charlie said, “I keep telling him he’s saying it wrong.”
Dante redoubled his efforts to scowl at me, but ended up laughing, too. “I shouldn’t even give this to you now,” he said, holding out a pair of keys on a leather fob. “You’re evil and you should be punished, not rewarded.”
“What’s this?” I asked as I took them from him.
“Nana mentioned you and Kai have a rare weekend to yourselves, so I thought you might like a little getaway. Charlie and I bought a vacation home a couple hours down the coast, sometimes it’s nice to get out of the city.”
Charlie added, “Although we’ve only used it once in six months.”
Dante stepped around the car and put his arms around his husband. “I’m sorry, angel. I swear I’ll make it up to you. There’s just so much going on right now.”
Charlie wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and looked up at him, his green eyes full of emotion. “I know, and that’s exactly why you need a break. I’m worried about you.”
“We’ll go soon, I promise.” As Dante said that, he tenderly caressed his husband’s cheek.
I turned to Cameron and said, “I assume I would have heard if you’d had any breaks in the arson case.”
“Whoever set those two devices to go off was a pro. He left no fingerprints, and the materials were all so generic that they could have been purchased anywhere. The fact that one of them misfired was a total fluke. Unfortunately, that means the forensic evidence is a dead-end,” Cameron said, leaning against a tool rack. “The SFPD has been putting extensive resources into trying to track down the club owner and the bartender. It’s no coincidence they conveniently stepped away before the fire started. Plus, the devices and accelerant would have been put in place ahead of time, and that would mean the arsonist needed access. We assume they were paid off, by who is the question.”
“How hard could it be to find a bartender and a club owner? They don’t sound like master criminals,” I said.
“In all likelihood, they left San Francisco. There’s also a good chance they’re both dead. Whoever set this fire might tie up those loose ends to make sure they don’t lead back to him,” Cameron told me. “It’s been frustrating, to say the least.” He looked weary and older than his thirty years as his shoulders slumped.
“You sound like you’re giving up,” I exclaimed, “but you can’t! The people behind this need to be punished! They almost killed my family and friends, dozens of people! And who says they won’t try again?”
“I’m not giving up, Jessie. I’ll never give up on this case, neither will the department. That arsonist attempted mass murder on a scale this city’s never seen before! The lack of solid leads right now is demoralizing, but that doesn’t mean I’m quitting,” Cameron told me.
“What about the person who was back in the kitchen that night, the one Kai and I heard right before the device went off?”
“There were no security cameras inside the club, and we’ve reviewed the footage from every traffic camera in the area,” Doyle said. “That didn’t give us anything to work with.”
“I hate this. I hate that my family is in danger and there’s not a damn thing we can do,” I said.
Dante told me, “We’re doing plenty, believe me. I have security teams watching our family members around the clock in case there’s another attempt on our lives, and I have dozens of men and women out there shaking the trees, trying to find out anything they can about whoever was behind the fire.”
“And of course, once you find out, you’ll tell me,” Cameron said, giving him a pointed look.
Dante kept an arm around Charlie’s shoulders as he turned to Doyle. “If I was planning to become a vigilante, why would I be palling around with the lead arson investigator on this case?”
“Because my sparkling personality and keen fashion sense make me irresistible?” Cameron suggested with a little grin.
“That must be it,” Dante said. “Come on, we should get back to work. Jessie, enjoy the beach house, and please don’t worry. I’m handling this. Go spend some quality time with your boyfriend. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the house is off the map, so to speak. It’s not registered under my name, or Charlie’s, or that of any member of our family, for that matter. And Jerry never knew about it, so no one’s going to show up looking for me.”
“Thanks, Dante,” I said as I pocketed the keys. “I really appreciate this.”
He handed me a slip of paper. “That’s the address and the codes for the security gate and alarm system. You really don’t want to trigger that alarm. The monitoring company is…enthusiastic.”
“Does that mean they’ll shoot us on sight?”
“No, but they’d probably wrestle you to the ground and sit on you until they got ahold of me and I called them off.”
I said, “Maybe this little weekend retreat is a bad idea.”
“Nah, it’ll be fine. You’ll be perfectly secure there, and it’s a gorgeous location. Enjoy it.”
Dante and Cameron started to head to the car, and Charlie slid off the stool and told them, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Once they left the garage, Charlie hugged me and said, “Thank you.”
“You already thanked me a million times for getting everyone out of the club,” I reminded him as I returned the hug.
“I know. This one’s for making Dante laugh. He doesn’t do that nearly enough these days, but you always manage to lighten the mood. I want you to know how much I appreciate it.” He let go of me and smiled, but I could still see the worry in his eyes.
After Charlie said goodbye, I watched him cross the street to a large, black SUV. A huge guy with a dark suit, sunglasses and an earpiece held the door for him, then looked up and down the street before getting behind the wheel. Man. Dante was a six-four wall of muscle who could intimidate a grizzly bear if he wanted to. He’d be the last person I’d ever think would want a bodyguard.
*****
Izzy, Nana and the gang came by the garage a few minutes later to say goodbye before their girls’ weekend. Dante had hired a big bodyguard to drive them in the limo, not that Nana would be a likely target. She and her friends weren’t even supposed to be at the club the night of the fire. But Dante was covering all his bases anyway.
Nana stuck her head out of the sunroof and called, “Hi, Sweet Pea! Did Dante come by?” It was funny to me how she always knew everything that went on.
“Yeah, just a few minutes ago.”
“You and Kai have fun on your romantic weekend! Do you need any supplies? I still have a big shopping bag in the trunk from the Whack Shack!”
I grinned and said, “We’re good. Thanks, though.”
Kiki popped up beside Nana. The two had become BFFs along the way, and were wearing matching pink t-shirts which said, ‘I love my gay grandson.’ A rainbow-striped heart stood in for the word ‘love’. She waved and called, “Hi Jessie! Next time, you and Kai should come to the spa with us. You could both use some pampering.”
Malia leaned out the open door and grinned at me. “I’d pay to see my brother in a mud mask with cucumbers on his eyes.” Her mom chuckled at that and flashed a thumbs-up.
Izzy climbed out of the limo and came
over to me. She was wearing a light blue princess dress over a pair of jeans. The little girl gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek, then said, “I’ll miss you, Jessie.”
“I’ll miss you, too, Princess Isabella, but you’re going to have loads of fun at the fancy spa this weekend.”
“Nana said I get to have nail polish,” Izzy said with a big grin. Her new front teeth were oversized compared to the rest of her baby teeth, which made her cuter than ever.
I kissed her forehead and said, “I’ll see you real soon. Take good care of Nana and Gran and Great Gran.”
“What about Auntie Mal?”
“I guess you should probably take care of her, too,” I said with a smile. “Did you get to say goodbye to your dad?”
She nodded. “Daddy’s at the house. He helped me pack. At first he said five princess dresses were too many for this weekend, but then he let me bring them.”
“Have the best time,” I said, brushing back a lock of her dark hair. She was wearing her butterfly barrettes, which always made me happy. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Bye, Jessie. I love you.” She threw that out with no fanfare as she hurried back to the limo. To her, it was a simple statement of fact.
She didn’t realize she’d just given me the most amazing gift. I kept my voice steady, despite all the emotions those precious words stirred up in me, and called after her, “I love you too, sweet Izzy.”
I waved as I watched the limo pull away. It felt a little odd that someone else was behind the wheel. But I reminded myself I’d moved on, and that was a good thing. I wasn’t the chauffeur anymore, and Nana wasn’t my employer. I didn’t need that job to play an important role in her life, because we were family.
After they took off, I finished the Jetta’s tune-up and chatted with the owner for a while when she came to get it. I was cleaning up when Kai returned, I told him about Dante’s visit and said, “It doesn’t sound like they’re close to catching whoever was behind the fire. It’s so disheartening.”
“A lot of good people are on the case. I know this has been eating away at you, but just for this weekend, let’s try to relax. You haven’t been sleeping well since the fire, and you really need some downtime.” I mentioned the beach house, and he said, “Perfect. Let’s go home, throw some things in a bag and get on the road. It looks like you’re all done here.”
After we set the new alarm (a gift from Dante, not that there was any reason to believe we’d be a target for the Dombrusos’ enemies, but he was in full security mode) and locked up the garage, Kai got behind the wheel of the Impala. I fired off a quick text to Zachary to see how he was doing as we drove home, then held my phone for a couple minutes and watched for a reply. He either wrote back within a minute, or in about two days, depending on whether or not he was off on one of his mysterious outings. When I’d asked him point-blank where he kept going, he’d said, “I don’t want to talk about it,” and changed the subject. It was incredibly frustrating, but I knew I couldn’t keep pushing. That’d just make him withdraw from me, and I didn’t want that to happen.
Apparently we were in a two-day-reply window, so after a while I sighed quietly and returned the phone to my pocket. Kai glanced at me when we hit a stoplight and asked, “Is Zachary on another walkabout?”
“Yeah. I know I shouldn’t worry about him. He’s a grown man, and if he doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s up to, that’s his business.”
“But you’re still concerned about him.”
I nodded. “I just wish I knew what was behind his disappearances. Jamie says he calls in sick at least once a week, but at least he calls. That shows he’s kind of holding it together, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, more than if he was just blowing off work entirely.”
“He’s definitely hurting,” I said, “and I wish I could do something about that. It’s like my brother said though, you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. I’ve made sure Zachary knows I care, and that I’m always available to listen or lend a hand in any way I can. I don’t know what else I can do.”
“That’s pretty much it.”
When we got to the house, Kai said, “Why don’t you make a couple sandwiches while I pack a few clothes and toiletries for both of us?”
“Good idea.”
I put together a picnic while he went up to the attic. I’d moved the last of my stuff out of Nana’s house, so the makeshift bedroom was pretty cramped. It was going to be nice when our apartment was done, although I’d enjoyed living with Kai’s family and would kind of miss it. I knew we’d be over all the time though, just like we were over at Nana’s house a few times a week since I’d moved out.
When I finished putting our meal together, I carried the vintage wicker picnic basket into the living room and paused to admire the dollhouse. Izzy had given it a place of honor on a table in front of the picture window, and spent countless hours playing with it. I remembered something all of a sudden and pulled a little paper bag from my pocket, then took out a tiny hairbrush and comb and added them to the dresser in the miniature child’s bedroom. I loved leaving tiny trinkets without telling Izzy, then watching her face light up when she discovered them. I almost had her convinced it was the work of fairies, but she was a bit skeptical.
Kai jogged downstairs, deposited a couple bags on the living room floor and went into the kitchen as he called, “Almost ready. How many clams should we leave for Virgil and Scarface?” My pet crab lived in a large, second-hand aquarium in the kitchen, along with the little fugitive I finally apprehended at Nana’s house (he’d been living inside a disused fireplace, knife close at hand).
We made sure the crustaceans were situated, then scooped up the bags and headed for the door. As Kai locked up behind us, I stood on the porch, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I’d almost forgotten how to relax, but that weekend I was determined to remember.
*****
The sun was setting over the Pacific as we wound our way down the coast. The Impala’s engine purred, and her new paint job mirrored the golden sky. I laced my fingers with Kai’s as he drove, and he rested our joined hands on his thigh. He’d brought along his dad’s tapes, and Bowie’s songs kept us company. They always reminded me of that day early on when I’d helped Kai paint the deck, and our fledgling relationship had begun to flourish. Back then, I’d thought it was so important to keep my distance. I didn’t think that anymore. The perfect distance between Kai and me was absolutely none at all.
It took about two hours to reach the house, which was just outside a charming little town called Carmel-by-the-Sea. We glanced at each other when we pulled up to an imposing electrified gate. Kai punched in the code and it slid open, then shut again once we’d driven through it. We followed a private road through stands of Monterey cypress and manzanita, and when we rounded a bend and saw the house, we both relaxed a little. The fence might have seemed like it belonged at Folsom Prison, but the attractive, dark wood cottage on a cliff above the ocean was welcoming.
“This’ll work,” Kai said with a grin as he pulled up beside the house.
When we got out of the car, he said, “Before we go inside, there’s something we need to do.” He took a lighter and a large, flat paper rectangle from the trunk, and I followed him around the side of the house.
“What is that?” I asked when he stopped near the edge of the cliff and pulled on the sides of the paper object he’d been carrying. It unfolded into almost the shape of a chef’s hat, a cylinder closed and rounded off at the top and slightly narrower at its open base.
“It’s called a sky lantern, and we’re going to spark it up and send it out over the ocean. Just so you know, the frame is bamboo and the paper’s made to dissolve as soon as it hits the water, so no little Virgils or Scarfaces or their aquatic friends will eat it and get in trouble.” I loved that he thought of that. “I found it in Chinatown, and I’ve been carrying it around for a week. I think this is the perfect time to use it.”
“What’s it for?”
He turned to me and said, “Some people call this a worry lantern. The idea is to transfer all our concerns onto it, then turn it over to the universe. I’m not crazy enough to think this will actually solve anything, but the symbolism is kind of great. You’ve had so much on your mind, and just for a little while, maybe we can both let go of that worry and live in the moment. What do you think? Should we do it?”
“There’s a hell of a lot to heap onto this little lantern.”
“I know.”
“Let’s do it.”
“I’ll go first.” Kai put his palm on the lantern and said, “I worry about Jessie and his nightmares.”
I put my hand on top of his and said, “I worry about someone hurting the people I love.”
We kept going like that, back and forth, naming Zachary’s well-being and Izzy’s struggles with a mean kid at school and a list of other concerns. Finally, Kai used the lighter to ignite some kind of wax core inside the lantern, and the whole thing lit up with a soft, golden glow. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
He handed it to me and said, “You do the honors.”
I held it up with both hands, over the edge of the cliff. As soon as I let go, the miniature hot air balloon drifted heavenward. We put our arms around each other and watched it for a long time. It grew smaller and smaller in the night sky as it continued to climb and head out over the Pacific.
When it finally disappeared from sight, I stretched up and kissed Kai, then said, “Thank you. Somehow, I really do feel a bit lighter after that.”
“Good,” he said gently. “Me too.”
We took one last look at the vast, black expanse of sea and sky as the waves crashed steadily onto the shore far below. Then we walked hand-in-hand back around to the front of the house. We grabbed our things, used the keys and let ourselves in, and I entered the code on the keypad inside the door very carefully. I was glad when it powered down.
Kai murmured, “Wow,” when we stepped into the main living space. The house was exactly what I’d hoped for. Instead of being grand and flashy, it was cozy. The colors were warm and subdued. Overstuffed furnishings dotted with pillows and blankets were clustered around a big fireplace, and thick drapes made it feel like a cocoon when I pulled them closed and shut out the darkness.
