by Kait Rose
“Love isn’t love without some type obstacle. Do you trust me?” I didn’t trust many since most people always let me down, but with Declan I knew I could.
I nodded my head yes and I felt his hand move to my lower back. He started to move me closer and I looked at him with confusion as to what he was doing. Before I could even ask him, his lips were on mine. At first I kissed him back because I wanted to see if there was any possibility of a spark between us, but I felt nothing. I went to break the kiss, but he pulled away before I could.
I opened my eyes to see Declan spitting out blood and a furious Jude in his face. Declan was bigger, but Jude wasn’t someone who backed down. They were yelling something at each other, but I couldn’t make it out over the music. Jude grabbed Declan by the shirt and started to drag him outside. Declan wasn’t a small guy and I was surprised he willingly went with him.
When I got out to the back alley I heard, “Why the fuck do you care? You were all over that thing.” Declan nodded over to Chanel.
“I don’t answer to you. I seen the way you were looking at her.” Jude nodded to Abby who came out to see what was going on. Dylan snapped out of staring at Chanel to give Declan a look of disbelief that Declan just waved off.
“She is my brother’s girl for one. Second, I’ll ask again, why do you care?”
“Because she’s…”Chanel cut Jude off before he could finish what he was about to say.
“Why are you two even fighting over a whore who’s just like her dead mother?" Chanel nodded in my direction. “I bet that’s what your mother looked like when your daddy shot her.” Chanel made her hand into a gun and pretended to shoot herself in the head. The image of my mama’s cold dead eyes staring back at me came flooding back to me. I couldn’t stop the images of the blood oozing from her head to the huge pool of blood growing around her body, while my father’s blood sprayed me and the rusty cupboards behind me. Just reliving that again brought the terrible smell back and I couldn’t help but throw up.
Declan came rushing to my side to hold my hair. He whispered in my ear, “I got you honey.” He then turned toward Chanel and shouted, “What the fuck is wrong with you! Are you honestly that sick in the head to even say that to someone!”
“She’s being over dramatic.” Easy for someone else to say that hadn’t had to see their father kill their mother in a murder suicide.
Crack
“You bitch! You broke my nose!” Chanel screamed. I opened my eyes to see a furious Stella standing over her.
“Say something like that again to her and that won’t be the only thing broken!” Stella wasn’t backing down and I think Chanel knew that too.
“Jude let’s go! We’re too good for these freaks.” She held her bloody nose and tried pulling Jude back into the warehouse, but he planted his feet not moving an inch.
“Jude?” She had the nerve to look at Jude shocked that he wasn’t siding with her.
“You are one rotten sick bitch. Do or say one more thing towards Madison and I swear every little secret, especially the one that you know will ruin you, will be told to everyone. You can kiss your status and sorority goodbye.” She instantly paled and looked scared at whatever secret Jude was talking about telling. Anyone who knows Jude knows he always goes through with what he says. Without another word, she turned and hurried back inside.
“Madison.” Jude said walking towards me, but Declan put himself between us.
“Dude not tonight.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Jude took another step towards Declan.
“Her friend that’s who. I’m taking these two home and making sure she’s alright. Whatever you want to say to her, save it for tomorrow if she wants to hear it.” Jude didn’t say anything back. He just nodded his head, agreeing with what Declan said. Stella came to my side and the three of us headed back to our place.
~.~
“Are you sure you’ll be alright tonight?” Throughout the drive, Declan’s been a worried mess about me. Tonight has been a whirlwind of emotions, but I knew the night wasn’t over. It was time to explain to Stella what really has been going on in my life. I just wasn’t ready for Declan or anyone else to know just yet.
“I promise. I’m going to go to bed and just sleep the rest of this night off.”
“Do you guys want to go get breakfast tomorrow?” That boy and his food.
“Sounds good. Meet us at the diner for ten?” Stella answered for us.
“Ok, I’ll call you when I’m on my way. Madison, call me if you need to talk or you need me to beat anyone’s ass.” I kissed him on the cheek and headed inside.
When we got inside, Stella went straight to refrigerator for our wine and ice cream. Why was it so hard to have one night that didn’t end in a complete disaster?
“Want to talk about it?” I’m usually not one who would want too, but tonight I was showing all my cards.
“Yeah I actually do.” Stella’s eyes widen and she put her wine glass down, giving me her complete attention.
“You already know about my parents, but there’s been worst things that have happened to me that have been a burden on me for a long time. Do you remember I told you I lived in a few foster houses, but the first was with Jude at the Montgomery’s?” She nodded her head yes and I continued to say, “They were like a poison apple. It looks perfect on the outside, but rotten in the inside. That’s how they were, but Jude made the days bearable especially the days Mr. Montgomery would beat me. Jude never knew because I always lied or hid the marks.” I took a deep breath for the next thing that was going to come out. “The beatings eventually turned into him raping me when Jude left.” I couldn’t even look her in the eyes when I said it. I knew I shouldn’t feel like this but I felt ashamed.
Stella grabbed my hand and when I looked up she had tears falling from her eyes. “I always had my suspicions, especially when you came back a different person. It was like the light in your eyes was burned out. I thought maybe because of what happened with your parents had something to do with it, but I should have pieced it together when I would heard you screaming for Mr. Montgomery to stop in your sleep. I just never knew it was that bad. I am so sorry for being an awful friend. I should have been there for you.” How can she ever think she’s an awful friend.
“Stella, it’s hard to be there when I put walls up that were unbreakable. I would have told you everything in the beginning, but I could never get the words out. Just know Stella there were a lot of days I just wanted to end my life, but you were always there for me and I knew I couldn’t leave you behind. You’re not just my best friend, but my sister.”
Stella hugged me tight and said, “I always considered you my sister too, but know I am here any time if you need to talk. I know there is probably a lot more, but you tell me when you are ready.” I squeezed her hand and we both wiped our tears away.
“Now I’m dying to know, what did you do to have two hot men fighting over you?”
“Long story short, I hooked up with Jude who then left me for Chanel. Then Declan had the idea that kissing me would make Abby and Jude jealous. Obviously it back fired.” I skipped over the freezer part because that was Jude’s story to tell.
“Jude was definitely jealous. I can’t believe he hit Declan.”
“I can’t believe you hit Chanel.” I really couldn’t. I seen her fight with her brother, but I never seen her hit anyone. I have to give her credit though, she packs a mean punch.
“Right! I couldn’t stand by one more time letting her get away with what she says to you. I’m sure she’ll find some way to get me back, but it was totally worth it.”
“Don’t worry I got your back.” We fist bumped and took a big sip of our wine.
“So…how was that kiss?” Stella was a hopeless romantic and I can tell she hopes I’ll say I fell for Declan, but my heart was given to Jude a long time ago.
“Don’t get me wrong, he is an amazing kisser, but there were no sparks.” Stella’s face drop
ped and she took another sip of her wine before saying, “I hear you.”
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Is she talking about Brad? On the other hand who else has she kissed?
“Not about me tonight.” She wagged her finger. “Actually I have a bone to pick with you.” I had a feeling I knew where this was going.
“Yes?”
“Why in all things holy did you bet my brother he could pick me up with that corny ass pick up line!” I spit my wine out, not being able to contain my laughter. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
“Stella you’re the best, I needed that.” She came back to living room, tossing a roll of paper towels at me, and crossed her arms waiting for an answer.
“Hey, I walked up on him and Ezra staring at you and talking about how hot you were. They had no idea it was you and I figured I could make some easy money that I will treat you with a nice pair of shoes.” She nodded and smiled at that fact I would buy her new shoes. That girl loved her shoes as much as Declan loved food.
“So what was this cheesy pick up line he used?” I was dying to know.
“You are one sexy bunny, want to get out of here and hop on it?” Stella said completely grossed out. “For one that was terrible, two I am now scarred for life thanks to you.” I started to laugh and Stella joined in too. The rest of the night we gossiped and laughed until we both ended up falling asleep on the couch. It was like we were back in school at our sleepovers. It was the perfect ending to a disastrous night.
Chapter Twenty Six
Jude
This was the worst ending to an already bad night. I fucked up with Madison and now I didn’t know if this was finally the last straw. I paced the alley back and forth, ready to hit something else. I kept trying to convince myself this was for the best, but I knew with every fiber of my soul that I’m still in love with Madison. I don’t think I ever stopped.
When I saw Declan kiss her, I saw nothing but red. I don’t even remember walking across the dance floor or hitting him in the face. I was never the jealous type, but with Madison I wanted everyone to know she was mine and only mine.
“What the fuck was that dude! You just hit our star hockey player!” Knox came barreling out into the alley.
“Do you honestly think I care about him being our star hockey player?” I was in no mood for this.
“Well no. I know you don’t follow our school’s teams, but why did you hit Declan? Everybody loves that dude.”
“Good then you two should date.” Knox just stared at me in disbelief that I was acting this way. I usually kept to myself and never showed what I was feeling, but love makes you crazy.
“From what I saw he kissed my girl, which should have made me pissed, but instead you hit him.” Here we go with him thinking Madison is his girl. I wanted to lay it all out on the table, but I was in no mood to fight with Knox.
“He tried screwing Chanel before kissing Madison. She told me about it while we were on the dance floor and when I saw him making moves on Madison next, I got pissed. I didn’t think, just reacted.” Knox nodded his head thinking it over. He had a look on his face that said he was unsure if he believed me, but he gave me the benefit of the doubt. I hated lying to him because he is my bestfriend, but I needed to focus on winning Madison first and deal with Knox second.
“I’m heading back home. I need to ice my hand and calm down.” I needed time to figure out how the hell I’m going to make things right with Madison. Even though Chanel spewed that nasty comment at Madison, I knew most would blame me. Fuck, I even blamed myself since I got involved with Chanel in the first place.
“Alright, I’ll see you later.” I waved him off and headed to my car.
I spent the rest of the weekend running to clear my head and thinking of how to win Madison over. The idea of Madison falling for Declan tore right through my heart. The more I thought about it, the faster and harder I pushed myself running. The realization that my feelings for Madison ran stronger than they ever did before scared me. How was I suppose to let go of what made me angry for so long? How do we even forgive each other for the things we done?
I remember the one way to her heart were my sketches. I decided to sketch her one of my favorite memories when we were kids. I thought it was best to remind her we did have some good times that I hope outweighed the bad times. I started to sketch a memory of when we first found this old time ice cream parlor that had the craziest flavors of ice cream. We were sitting at the counter and we asked for twelve different types and we had to close our eyes and guess what the flavor was. We finally had a carefree day just being kids without anyone ruining it. It was the first time I saw a real smile from her and it’s one I’ll never forget.
I worked on her sketch until about five in the morning and fell asleep missing all my morning classes. Luckily I didn’t miss English class with Madison. I planned to tell her I was sorry and if she wanted me to apologize to that dick, I mean Declan, I would even do that. Then I would give her my drawing and hopefully all will be forgiven.
When I pulled up to the English building, Madison was sitting on the front steps writing in her notebook. I approached with caution and started off with a simple, “Hey.” Her eyes didn’t leave her notebook, but she did at least say hi. I guess that was better than being flat out ignored.
“What are you working on?” By the way she slammed her book closed, I had a feeling that wasn’t the right thing to say. “I…” She held her hand up to me to stop me from saying what I was going to and slammed her phone into my hands. What she was showing me was at least a hundred text messages from random numbers calling her a whore, slut, and worst of all there was one saying she’ll be with her mother soon. What in the fuck is happening? This had Chanel’s name written all over it and the rage I was feeling was increasing by the second.
“You know for months you hated me for something that you yet to inform me on what you think I did. You keep hooking up with me, but yet you turn cold towards me afterwards or go with the next girl giving you attention. I’m tired Jude, I’m tired of the games.” She started to shove her books back in her bag and looking ready to leave.
“Little bird.”
“Don’t!” She yelled with tears in her eyes.
“Listen to me I had no idea about this.” I waved her phone in my hand which she then snatched from me. “I’m going to fix this. I promise you I had nothing to do with this.”
“You expect me to trust you after everything else you did do. God even knows if you were telling me the truth the other night about what happened to you.” That was a low blow, but I deserved it.
“Why do you think I changed my last name? Google it if you don’t believe me.” She shook her head and started to head down the stairs, but I couldn’t let her end things like this. I took the sketch out of my book and handed it to her. She stared at it for a bit with a sad look and when her lip started to quiver, my heart broke even more.
“Madison, please.”
“No. You said it yourself you were going to break me, well you finally did it. You broke what little piece of me I had left.” That was the last thing she said to me before walking away. I wanted to go after her, but maybe this was suppose to happen. She deserved a whole lot better than me anyways.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Madison
Sometimes I just don’t understand my heart. How does it beat so hard for someone who could be so cruel to me in return? Most people would think I’m crazy, shit I even think that, but I can’t help who I choose to love. I choose to see the good over the bad, to forgive and hope things will get better, but what happens when they break the last piece of your heart? What do you do when the last piece of hope you had is gone? I never gave up on Jude. Even through the years my heart always came back to him, but how could I now when obviously he doesn’t feel the same.
I laid in my bed staring at the sketch he drew for me. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was one of those rare good memories I have growing
up. I’m surprised how good he remembered that day. His sketch got every detail right from what we wore to the decorations above the counter. I wonder why he picked this day? Did he cherish this memory as much as I did?
I was confused on how to feel about everything. I decided after he left me for Chanel, punching Declan in the face, and then these incoming text messages I had to be the one to walk away. I thought I would feel good making the right decision of walking away for good, but why did it feel like it wasn’t?
~.~
I took the next day off from school to take a break from everyone and everything, but my mind couldn’t stop replaying everything I said to Jude yesterday. After everything he’s done, why do I feel terrible for walking away? I should feel good for choosing me, but I feel like I lost another piece of me instead.
I decided I wasn’t going to lay here for another second and went to head for the shower, but heard Stella screaming my name from the front door. I rushed out of my room to see what was going on. Declan was already rifling through our cupboards and Stella ran right up to me, grabbed my shoulders, and said, “You will never guess what happened today! Jude went to Chanel’s table at lunch and called her out about the text messages you’ve been getting. He found out all those were from her and her sorority sisters.” Why didn’t I think that first than accusing Jude. Now I feel even worst that I blamed him.
“I should have known.” I hip bumped Declan out of the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
“She needs help, but he kept his promise.” I looked at her confused and she continued to say, “Remember in the alley he told her one more thing she does to you, her biggest secrets will be revealed? Well she was the one who slept with Mr. Leonard back in high school!” That fucking bitch and Mr. Leonard, I have no words. I always thought he was innocent, but yet again another person who isn’t who they show to be.
“No wonder why she blamed me.”
