by Kait Rose
It was risky having sex in the woods where the field party was only a short distance away, but in that moment we didn’t care. Out of the other two times we had sex, this time felt different. It was like we were finally able to enjoy each other without all of the hate, secrets, and lies weighing us down. It felt like this was the start of a fresh new beginning…so I thought.
“You have to be fucking kidding me!” Knox’s voice boomed. Jude turned his head, but kept his body on me to cover me up.
“Knox! We can explain.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to explain. You’re nothing but a liar. And you, you were suppose to be my best friend! How could you go after the one girl I love?” My mouth dropped in shock. I never thought Knox’s feelings ran that deep for me. Jude didn’t seem to believe him either.
“So almost fucking two blondes on top of her is love?” Jude zipped up his pants and handed me my shirt. He stormed over to Knox who looked even more angrier before.
“You want to bring that up, well why don’t we tell Madison what you did! I found out it was you behind that photo of her getting passed around and all the rumors. I bet Madison has no idea that you are the one who enlisted Chanel in to torturing her or how about tossing her in a pool where she almost drowned.” The first few things wasn’t anything I didn’t know, but telling Chanel to throw me in the pool was shocking. I gave Jude a quick look that said we will talk about that later, but his eyes were focused on Knox. I couldn’t even look at Knox anymore, so I kept my eyes on the ground.
“You have to be kidding me. He did all that terrible shit to you, but you will still pick him over me.” His voice went from angry to heartbroken and it hurt to see him like that. Even though I didn’t love him the way he loved me, I still love him as a friend.
“Why didn’t you two just tell me?” Knox looked between Jude and me.
“I thought by ignoring my feelings for Madison that they would go away. I tried dude so many times to ignore them because I thought I hated her over something that I thought she did in the past.” I grabbed Jude’s hand and squeezed it to reassure him that I forgive him. He gave me a small smile in which Knox just scoffed at.
“Knox.” I said softly. “We were, it’s all just…”
“Save it.” He turned around and headed back towards the party.
I went to go after him, but Jude grabbed my elbow and said, “He needs time to cool off and then I will talk to him. I should have been honest with him, but I’ll make sure he forgives you.”
“He made me promise not to hook up with you and I broke it. Well I technically never agreed, but still. He’s probably going to be mad at me for a while.” He rolled his eyes at the fact Knox would make me promise something like that. Especially when Knox fucked most of the girls at school.
“When he cools off, he’ll come around. It wasn’t like you cheated on him.” That’s true, but why did it feel like I did?
“Is work going to be awkward? Oh my god is he going to let you come back to the house?” I was biting my lip, worried that I really did just fuck up Jude’s life.
“Little bird, don’t worry that pretty little head of yours. I forgot to mention I quit Glow last week because Ben needs me more at the shop on weekends. Also, it’s not just his house, Ezra and I are also on the lease. His parents wanted to make sure if we caused any damage or left before the lease was over, that we would be responsible too.” I finally let go of the breath I was holding, relieved that he would be alright.
“That’s good news.”
He nodded and said, “Want to head back to the party?”
“Honestly, I’m ready to leave if you are.” I was mentally drained and ready to go home. I was definitely no longer in the party mood.
“Me too, let’s go.”
We headed back to the field party to say good bye to Stella and Ezra. What we came back to was a surprise. Ezra had some red head on his lap, while Stella was with Brad. She didn’t seem to happy that Brad surprised her, so I went over to see if she wanted to leave with us.
“Hey we’re going to head out. Do you want to come back with us?” I asked Stella, but Brad answered for her.
“She’s good, I’ll bring her back.” I guess his douche side was rearing it’s head tonight, but after everything tonight I was in no mood for another fight.
“Are you sure, Stella? I emphasized Stella’s name so he knew I wanted her to answer. She gave me a small smile and nodded she was ok. Brad could be nice, but I noticed when he drinks he is a completely different person. I didn’t get a good feeling about that…
We walked over to Ezra and told him to keep an eye on her which he replied he never stopped. While walking to Jude’s car, my head was full of questions. Did he want a relationship or are we just casually hooking up? Is he going to hook up with other girls? Does he even do relationships? I had so many thoughts going in and out of my head that I didn’t realize I was just standing outside his car.
“Ok ask me.” I snapped out of it real quick and nervous to find out what he wanted me to ask him.
“Huh?”
“Obviously you are lost in that head of yours, so come on and ask.” There was no way I was asking any of that tonight. I wouldn’t be able to handle any type of rejection tonight.
“Have you had any girlfriends?” It was the best I could come up and I did want to know.
“Nope.” We both got in his car and I was pretty shock. There is no way he’s never had a girlfriend.
“I didn’t mean recently. Have you had any girlfriends since we last saw each other when we were kids?”
“Again, nope.”
“Why?” I didn’t have any boyfriends either, but Jude always had girls flocking to him. I on the other hand avoided most guys besides a hook up here and there.
“No one was ever you.” I looked at him in complete shock. All this time he hated me for something he thought I did, why would he not pursue someone else?
“You’re lying. You hated me all this time, why wouldn’t you date other girls?”
“I’m not. Have I had sex with other girls, yes. Did I want something serious, no. I might have been pissed off at you all this time, but you never left my mind.”
I had no idea what to say to that, so I asked, “Where are you going tonight?”
“I was going to drive back home, but I’ll probably get a hotel room incase Knox went there. Kind of don’t feel like getting murdered in my sleep.” He gave a smile, but I didn’t find that funny.
I punched him in the arm and said, “Not funny!”
Jude started to laugh and put his hands up in the air. “Ok killer, calm down.”
“Do you want to stay here for the night?” I honestly didn’t want to say goodbye yet and I hope he would say yes to staying here.
“Ok, but is Delilah going to be ok with it?” I pointed to the tree outside my window and gave him a smile. He shook his head in disbelief.
“Madison, I am twenty two years old. My days of sneaking in and out of girl’s windows are over.”
I gave him my best puppy dog look and said, “Come on, Delilah will make you sleep on the couch and it’s so lumpy.”
“I call bullshit, but find I’ll do this for you.”
I headed inside quietly. It was already one in the morning and I knew Delilah was fast asleep. He technically could have most likely just walked in with me, but what fun is that. When I got in my room, Jude was already at the window. “Holy shit you climbed that tree fast.”
“Had enough practice.” I gave him a look that said I didn’t need to know how many girl’s windows he has snuck in to and he started to laugh.
“Relax, remember I told you I used to sneak out of the Dolan’s to get to Ben’s shop.” Well now I feel like an idiot.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. It’s ok, you’re cute when you get jealous.” He gave me a kiss and flicked my nose. It was different how cute he was being, definitely the complete opposite from how he treated me these
last few months.
“Earth to Madison.” He whispered and motioned his hand in front of my face.
I shook my head and stepped towards my door, “Sorry, I zoned out. Let me go get something to clean your hands up.” I rushed out of the room before he could say anything.
I felt like I was taking forever. I was lost in thought again and nervous as all hell. I don’t know why I was getting so nervous now. Maybe because we were going to spend the night together where I’m actually sober and could remember. The other part of me thinks maybe because this is all new. Usually he was always pissing me off, but now that he was being his old self, I had no idea how to act.
I knew I had to hurry back before he wonders what was taking me so long. I threw on my pajamas and headed back with a first aid kid. When I snuck back into my old room, I was shocked to see he found it.
“Jude?” I slowly closed and locked the door behind me. He was sitting on my bed, staring at the sketch he made me the last day we saw each other.
“You kept this?” His eyes never left the paper.
“Of course I did.” The sketch he gave me was one of my most treasured belongings along with my mama’s favorite shirt I wore to bed.
“I was a nervous wreck that whole day before I gave it to you. I thought maybe you only saw me as a friend or worst, a brother.”
“I always saw you as my best friend, but I wanted to be more than that.” I wish things worked out differently, but maybe if they did we wouldn’t be where we are now.
“I was wrong about many things and I made a lot of mistakes, but I’m going to make it up to you.”
“It’s ok I forgive you.”
He pulled his hands away from me and lifted my head up so we were facing eye to eye. He then said, “Don’t do that. Don’t take less than what you deserve. You, Madison Bloom, deserve a lot better than what you’ve been given. I may not be the hearts and flowers type of guy, but for you I would be.”
I reached around his neck and pulled him in closer saying, “This.” I motioned to the sketch. “Is better than any type of flowers you can give me. I want you, the old and the new, I just want you.” He slammed his lips against mine and his kiss said everything else we hadn’t said. We laid in my bed for the rest of the night catching up on all we missed until he started to sing my mama’s song for me, “Black Bird”, and I drifted to sleep for the first time without any nightmares.
Chapter Thirty
Madison
For the next few weeks, things have been going great with Jude. We have been taking things slow, but I’m honestly ready to ask him if we were now boyfriend and girlfriend. I was afraid to put pressure on him, so I haven’t brought it up. Now that we were coming up on Christmas break, I was getting anxious.
Thank god this was the last class before Christmas break. I couldn’t handle one more final exam or my brain would explode. I packed up my belongings and headed out to the door, only to bump into Stella. She was smiling big at me, excited about something.
“What are you dying to tell me?” Her smile grew bigger and she was a blabber mouth, so it surprised me when she said, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy and trust me I really want to tell you, but I’ve been bribed with five new romance novels that just came out, so here!” She pushed a white envelope in my hand and ran the other direction away from me. That girl and her novels, I wish I thought of that.
I started walking out to my car and when I got inside I opened the envelope. Inside was a sketch of the coffee shop Jude and I go to after class. There wasn’t a note, but I knew Jude sketches, so I headed there. When I got there, the barista waved me over with a coffee, croissant, and another envelope.
I sat at our usual table and eagerly opened the next envelope. Inside was a sketch of a boutique down the street. What does he have planned? Even though things have been going great the last few weeks, it was taking me a minute to remind myself that this was him doing something sweet not bad. He wouldn’t go back to hating me, right?
I shook my head at the nonsense I was thinking and scarfed down my croissant and coffee before heading down to Miss Dolly’s Boutique. I was anxious to see where this scavenger hunt was going to lead me to. I walked down to Miss Dolly’s and headed straight to the register.
“Hi, uhm this may sound weird, but I’ve been sent on a scavenger hunt and there might be something here for me. My name is Madison.” The sales girl squealed and bent down pulling a box from underneath the counter.
“Girl, don’t mind me saying, but you got yourself a total hottie! Here you go, enjoy!” I can’t blame her, Jude would have a blind woman drooling. I smiled back at her and headed towards the velvet couch to open the box. Inside was another envelope and under it was a beautiful white dress. It was strapless and short, but I love how simple it was. I opened the envelop next to see the next sketch, but it was a note instead.
“Hello Beautiful. Meet me at my house at eight tonight wearing this. I’ll see you soon. -Jude.”
I put everything back in the box and headed back to my car at the coffee shop. I was so excited thinking about all the different possible things he could have planned that I was surprised I was at my house already. Before I could even get to my room, Stella came rushing out of her room towards me.
“Spill! What is he planning?” Stella grabbed me by the hand, dragging me to our couch in the living room.
“I have no idea. He sent me to our coffee shop and bought me breakfast. Then the next clue was Miss Dolly’s Boutique and he bought me the cutest white dress to wear tonight.” I set the box with the dress on her lap and Stella dug in without hesitation.
“Girl! That boy can be an asshole, but damn he has style.” She held up the white dress and I had to agree with her. “I wonder where he is taking you.”
“No clue, but will you help me get ready?”
“Of course!” Come on, let’s get a move on.” She grabbed me by the hand, dragging me towards her bedroom.
“We have four hours until I need to meet him. I’m taking a nap first.” I went to go lay back on the couch, but I should have known there is no telling Stella no.
“Four hours is cutting it close Madison. You need to shower, shave, paint nails, pick out cute underwear and matching bra, oh and don’t forget to shave down…”
“Ok! I got you, let’s go.” I can kiss my nap goodbye.
It has always taken me a hour or less to get ready, but somehow Stella managed to make it take up almost all four hours. I have to admit though, she did a great job from my hair to my make up. The shoes she gave me had me instantly falling in love with them too. They were a blood red with gold spikes on the heels.
“Do you want us to give you a ride to his house?” Stella and Brad were waiting at the door when I came out of my room. They were planning to go see, Post Malone, at the arena down town.
“If it isn’t going to make you guys late, that would be great.” I was full of nerves wondering what Jude had planned. I needed a few more minutes with Stella to calm my nerves down.
“Ok ladies, let’s roll.” Brad gave me a smile and motioned towards his car. Lately he’s been growing on me since he’s been treating Stella better now. He’s even agreed to wait until she was ready to have sex, which in my opinion he earned a few points with me. Most college guys would either cheat or run for the hills, but he’s been actually pretty cool about it.
We talked about how excited they were for the concert which help me take my mind off of what Jude has in store for me. When we pulled up to the house though it was packed with cars. It looks like their was a huge party going on.
“Is this what he had planned?” Stella said confused and I was right with her.
“I honestly don’t know, but why would he buy me this dress for a house party?” This didn’t seem right.
“Do you want us to come inside with you?” Stella asked, but they would be late to their concert. I waved them off and told her I text her later tonight.
Did you ever have a feeling s
omething was going to go terribly wrong? Usually whenever I had this feeling, I was spot on. Something just didn’t seem right. It was weird that he didn’t want to pick me up or tell me to meet him somewhere. Why the nice dress just to meet him at his house where there is a house party going on? Well, I guess we will see. I took a deep breath and headed inside. More than ever do I wish I trusted my gut.
Chapter Thirty One
Madison
I walked in their house and there were people shoulder to shoulder. I spotted Knox over in the kitchen. Things have been weird between us since he found out about me and Jude. I decided I didn’t want anything ruining tonight, so I planned to keep to myself for now. I knew one day soon me and Knox would have to talk because I valued our friendship and I didn’t want to lose it.
“Hey there stranger!” Ezra came stumbling over. I was surprised he was drunk already. He was usually the sober one out of the group.
“Hey! Someone is enjoying the night I see.” His eyes were glassy with a smile he couldn’t wipe off his face.
“Yeah I’m cutting lose tonight. Where’s Stella?” Well this is going to wipe the smile right off his face I thought to myself.
“Brad got them tickets to go see Post Malone at the arena.” His smile did drop for a few seconds, but you could tell when he did smile again it was fake.
“Great for her. I’m going to go mingle for a bit, I’ll see you in a bit yeah?” He turned away before I could even ask if he seen Jude around.
I ventured more into the living room when I noticed a crowd of people standing around the television. Everyone was silent and soon others joined to see what was going on. When I was able to sneak up front, I realized exactly why everyone was quiet. Right there on a big television screen for all these people to see was video evidence of Mr. Montgomery raping me in his office. My heart was pounding so loud that it drowned out any other noise besides Mr. Montgomery moaning. I remember that day because that was the first time he raped me. I could see the bruises that were growing in color on my arm, the right eye starting to swell, and the patch of hair that was ripped out during my struggle to escape him. I learned early on after a few more beatings that I was better off playing dead because the more I tried to fight him off the more he got turned on.
