by Tess Adair
“When I first learned of Miss Logan’s…situation,” said Knatt carefully, “I did as much research as I could, naturally. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to find.”
Jude felt like her head was swimming.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“I’m not entirely sure,” said Knatt. He had his own mug now, and he took a sip from it before continuing. “The library at the estate is quite thorough. Mr. Logan’s father began it, and his collection was already quite impressive by the time Charles and I took over and began to add to it. And yet, when I began to research the Choronzon Key, all I found was…well, folklore and myth, for the most part.”
“What…what did they say?”
“Somewhat contradictory things, to be perfectly honest,” said Knatt. He took a sip from his mug before continuing. “The first mention I found dated back to about 800 C.E., and referred to it as ‘the Mark of the Choronzon.’ It was just a bit of folklore coming out of a region in Eastern Europe about a heroic man with an innate, magical ability to sense when others were in trouble, and to show up in the nick of time. According to the story, he saved a village from a wild beast, purportedly monstrous in size. And once his task was complete, he supposedly…ascended through the gateway to heaven. Exact phrasing.”
Knatt paused to sip his tea once more.
“Likely an embellishment, of course,” he said. “Another story, dated a few hundred years earlier, referred to the ‘curse of Choronzon.’ This one was sparser on detail. It seemed to refer to a death. Possibly the death of the Choronzon Key’s bearer, but I’d be hard-pressed to say for sure.”
Jude glanced over at Logan, who’d gone back to looking at the closed window curtains. She still didn’t feel like she understood what most of this meant, but she felt more and more certain that it wasn’t good. Whatever that strange mark on her back actually was, it seemed difficult to deny that chaos and death followed where it went. Had it really chosen Logan, like she said? Was she fated, somehow? Fated to show up and fight with monsters, until one of them killed her?
And what did that mean for Jude?
She didn’t want to admit it outright, but a part of her felt smaller. She’d already suspected that she wasn’t quite good enough to hang out with Logan, and now? Now it seemed like she had the clearest proof she could ever have asked for.
Knatt cleared his throat and spoke up again.
“I found four references in total, each as unhelpful as the last. The Choronzon Key seems to have shown up just long enough to leave an influence on local stories and myth, and for no longer than that. There is no official record on its existence, and as far as we know, nothing in any written record to indicate its origin. Its purpose, however, seems to be clear.”
Jude’s head whipped back around to face it.
“What is it, then?”
“To prevent death by mystical means,” he answered casually, as though this were patently obvious. “To right wrongs, and to keep a handle on the unnatural demon population in this world.” He shrugged, casting a glance at his business partner, who remained silent and unmoved. “I believe Miss Logan has been chosen as a kind of balance-keeper for the shadow world. After all, the Choronzon Key has never sent her a vision of something that did not have at least an element of magic in it.”
“That’s what you think,” said Alexei, suddenly and curtly. “But you don’t have much proof of that, do you?”
“My proof is, admittedly, ethereal,” answered Knatt with a shrug. “We have the lives that Logan has saved, and the mark of the Key itself. I can find no text that definitively proves my point, no historical record that lends me credence. Even if I were the sort of man who believed in prophecy, there are no prophecies in existence that mention it.”
He looked at Logan again, and he did not look away as he continued.
“And yet, I believe it.”
Alexei sighed loudly, then stood up from his seat.
“I’m making a vodka tonic, if anyone else is interested.”
He walked right past Knatt into the kitchen behind him, took a tumbler from an open shelf, and pulled one tall, slim, dark blue bottle from the freezer, and one squat clear bottle of tonic water from the refrigerator.
“You’ve seen me get a vision before,” said Logan, quietly and unexpectedly. She was looking at Knatt. “Though I don’t really know if that’s proof of anything.”
“That is true, I have,” said Knatt, nodding. “If I recall correctly, you seemed to seize, and then fall unconscious. If it is an act, it is a persuasive one.”
Suddenly Jude remembered seeing Logan in that fast food bathroom outside of Wolf Creek, slumped over the sink. And then she’d popped back up and kept going as if nothing had happened.
“I’ve seen it, too,” she said. “Haven’t I?”
Logan nodded silently.
Drink now in hand, Alexei came back over, hovering near Knatt’s end of the couch. His expression was inscrutable.
“How long have you had this?” he asked. “This key, and these visions? How long?”
Logan folded her arms over her chest defensively.
“Ten years, give or take.”
Alexei coughed, disbelief written in the lines of his face.
“So…before you met me, then,” he said.
Logan nodded silently again.
“I think we’re wandering away from our purpose here,” said Knatt. “We told you both about the Key in the interest of full disclosure, so that we might discuss the specter of the Wolf without impediment. Based on what Kurt Redmond said during the Wolf Creek case, we have reason to think the Wolf has a particular interest in Logan. Perhaps he knows that she is half-demon, perhaps he knows she possesses the Choronzon Key. Perhaps neither. What we do know is that he is perfectly willing to manipulate other Letha casters into violence, either for his own means, or merely for the sake of spreading chaos. Your fight tonight suggests that he’s willing to commit violence himself as well.”
Jude held up her hand as though she wanted to be called on. As soon as she realized what she was doing, she lowered it again and cleared her throat.
“So, we don’t know what the Order knows,” she said. “But…the Order does know something, right? And…and maybe they’ll talk about it at that—that Summit thing, right? The Summit that the witch lady mentioned?”
“Zilla Ulric,” Knatt corrected her gently. “And yes, it’s possible that the Order will discuss their findings at the Summit this year.”
“Or they might not,” said Logan. “The Order of Shadows is fond of its secrets.”
“Apparently they’re not the only ones,” said Alexei, speaking into his glass. He’d said it as quietly as possible, but Jude had still heard him. From the look on her face, Logan had, too.
“Personally, I believe it’s worth going to find out,” said Knatt.
Logan said nothing. For a moment, she stared at Alexei, her face screwed up with determination, as if she were about to say something to him. Then she shook her head and turned away from them all, letting her gaze slide off to the still-curtained window once more.
On the other side of the apartment, Alexei downed his drink.
“I suppose I’ll see you there, if you go,” he said. “I was only going to go for the party, but I guess I’ve got a real reason now.” He shrugged listlessly, his face expressionless. “On that note, I think I’ll head to bed. See you all in the morning.”
With that, he headed for his bedroom door and closed it tightly behind himself. Logan glanced back to watch him go, her expression strained. Jude didn’t quite know what to make of it.
In fact, her brain seemed to resist rational thought more and more with every passing minute: the exhaustion that had been creeping in all evening stood poised to overwhelm her.
“I should probably go to sleep, too,” she said, finally standing up. “I, uh…is it okay if I still use the guest room, or—Knatt, do you want—?”
“That’s quite all
right, Jude,” said Knatt jovially. “Logan and I have a few more things to discuss before we end our night, and I believe I’ll do just fine out here. Go ahead and get some rest.”
Jude nodded, and the action felt slow and burdensome. She forced her heavy feet to walk and pointed herself at the other bedroom door. Before she disappeared behind it, she chanced one last look at Logan.
Logan had moved to the window and now stood at the curtain, holding it open and gazing down at the street below. Her expression was distant and regretful, and her hand seemed to twist restlessly at the edge of the curtain.
Jude didn’t want to think about it, but without her consent, her mind transported her back to earlier that night, and the look on Logan’s face as she sucked the life out of Todd Phillips from across the room. What was it like to have power like that?
And what did that kind of power mean for everyone else?
Chapter Twelve
Inner Demon
Logan wanted to throw up. She didn’t have nearly enough food left in her system to actually do it, but the desire remained nonetheless. She stared at Alexei’s closed bedroom door and wished she could go back and do it all a little differently.
“I think that went well enough,” said Knatt from his perch on the couch.
“Of course you do,” Logan muttered in response.
“You disagree.”
She stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then she collected herself and coughed.
“I’d feel better if I could say for sure whether Alexei will still be speaking to me in the morning.”
As if appraising the situation in full for the first time, Knatt glanced briefly at the door, then back at her.
“I didn’t get the impression that Mr. Marin is about to turn around and give up your secrets to the Order, did you?”
“No, but—”
“In that case, I say we ought to call this one a ‘win.’”
“How is it a ‘win’ if he won’t talk to me?”
Knatt sighed and slowly shook his head at her. “You’ve always set your expectations so high, Logan. You must remember that people, in general, are slow to change, easy to scare, and quick to prejudice. I know you consider Mr. Marin a friend, but keep in mind that he is just as human as the rest of them. It might not be easy for him to learn that the world is a little different than he thought this morning. So, yes, as long as he keeps your confidence, I’d call it a ‘win.’”
“But that’s not Alexei,” said Logan, taking her turn to shake her head. “Anybody else, sure, they’d be scared of me, or what I can do. But Alexei isn’t afraid. He’s angry. And that’s my fault.” She folded her arms tightly across her chest, as if that could shield her from the truth of it. “I should have told him years ago. He has every right to be upset.”
“That may be so,” Knatt conceded. “If that is the case, then I suppose it’s up to him to decide if he wants to forgive you.”
“Right.” Logan walked over to the couch opposite him and sank into it.
Alexei’s the one who was lied to. He gets to decide how he responds. She took a deep breath and did her best to focus her attention back on Knatt. They had other things to discuss. “Well. I assume you’re just itching to tell me that tonight’s events proved why I should go to the Summit. So, go ahead.”
Knatt allowed a small smile. “If you already know what I’m going to say, why do you still need me to say it?”
“I guess I don’t,” Logan shrugged. “It’s not going to change my mind, anyway. I still see all the same risks that I did before. The Order has no jurisdiction over me, and I see no reason to comply with their requests.”
Knatt’s smile turned rueful. “Such is your choice. I’ll bring back what I can.”
“Fine. Good.” She did her best to relax in her seat, but she found it hard to let her muscles slacken.
“Well,” said Knatt, nodding with finality, “with that said, I think I’ll try to get some sleep. Perhaps you ought to consider doing the same.”
Logan nodded absently as Knatt went about prepping the opposite couch for rest. She watched him fluff a spare pillow before delicately removing his tweed jacket and folding it over the far end.
Within a few short minutes, she could hear his breathing steady out, and a light, occasional snore to accompany it. She wished sleep would come nearly so easily for her, but somehow, she doubted it. Nevertheless, eventually she leaned back, pulling a cushion under her head as she did so.
It felt like an hour before she finally drifted into a fitful sleep. Her last thought was the sudden realization that the Choronzon Key had started a low, persistent burn on her back.
She wondered if it was trying to tell her she had missed something.
In her dreams, she chased after monsters she could not see.
In the morning, Logan found herself at a kind of impasse. Since Knatt was no longer home to operate the traveling room, he made a call to the airport to secure them a flight back instead. Jude came out briefly, hovered nervously in the kitchen for a moment, then disappeared into the guest bathroom for a shower.
Logan, meanwhile, brewed black tea and stared only somewhat surreptitiously at Alexei’s door, waiting for him to come out. She needed to speak to him at least once more before they left, but as the minutes ticked by, she began to wonder how hard he planned to make that on her.
Eventually, Knatt had made all the arrangements necessary, and Jude had come back out of the bathroom with dampened but drying hair, her overnight bag fully packed.
“We do have a bit of time before the flight,” said Knatt, doing his best to inject cheerfulness into his voice. “Perhaps we could go get a quick breakfast somewhere.”
Logan glanced openly at Alexei’s closed door, then made up her mind.
“You two go ahead downstairs,” she said, hoping her voice sounded lighter than she felt. “I’ll just…I’ll be down in a minute.”
Neither argued with her, so a few minutes later, Logan found herself facing Alexei’s door alone. She took a breath, then rapped loudly three times. In the weak morning light, she couldn’t help but feel like an intruder.
He took his time answering. When he finally cracked the door open, he was wearing silk pajama pants and an open silk shirt, exposing half his chest as he crossed his arms over it. His hair looked tousled, but Logan recognized it as a perfectly crafted tousle, and guessed that he’d probably been awake as long as she had. Still, the bruising under his eye and around his neck betrayed his carefully crafted exterior.
He leaned against his door frame and stared at her through slowly blinking lashes. His pose and gaze struck her as a challenge.
“Just letting you know that we’re leaving,” she said, performing a flaccid half-shrug. “Wanted to say goodbye.”
“Okay. Goodbye.”
He started to turn away from her and close the door, but she stuck her hand out to prevent him.
“Wait, Alexei—”
“Yes?”
“I know it’s probably difficult for you to trust me right now—”
“You don’t say.”
“I mean that…look, you’re right to be upset. I don’t deserve your trust. That’s fair, and I get it. I’m…I’m a stupid shit bag, and I should have told you the truth a long time ago.”
He let out a long sigh and shook his head. His expression looked pained.
“Why didn’t you, H.C.? I keep going over it, and I just…I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. I thought…I thought we were as close as you ever let yourself get to people, you know?” He pressed his lips together, his eyes full of disappointment and confusion. “I’m not stupid. I knew you were holding something back, keeping me just a little bit at arm’s length.” He shook his head again. “I just assumed that, at the very least, you’d told me all the big stuff. I mean, god, would you even have told me at all, if it weren’t for…for your latest vision?”
Logan felt a strange lump growing in her chest, threatening to con
strict her breath. She wanted to reach out and touch him, like touch could wipe away her mistakes.
“I’m sorry,” she finally let out. “I would have told you eventually, I just—I thought I was protecting you.”
Alexei sighed in frustration and nearly rolled his eyes, tightening his arms over his chest.
“That’s not your call, H.C. I decide how to protect myself, okay?”
Logan nodded, doing her best to keep her breathing even.
“Okay,” she said. “You decide. From now on, no more trying to protect you like that. I promise.”
Alexei let out another breath, his eyes now searching her face as if something within it could either verify her words or contradict them, and thus make his decision for him.
“Fine,” he said with a shrug. “I guess that’s a start, or something. Whatever.” He tapped a finger on his elbow and glanced expectantly at the door. “I take it the others are waiting for you?”
“Downstairs, yes.”
“Better not keep them, then. I’ll see you around.”
With that, he closed the door in her face.
For a moment, Logan considered knocking again, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good now. Besides, she reminded herself, he had a right to be mad. She needed to respect that. She needed to give him time and space, and whatever else was necessary.
Finally, slowly, she turned away from his room and made her way out the front door.
If only she could convince herself that time was all he needed, she might have felt a little less like burying her head in the sand until her life found a way to forget about her.
Over the next month, Jude only saw Logan sporadically. It was hard to say if she was going on a lot of jobs, or if she was simply disappearing off the face of the earth for days at a time, but the effect was the same.
She had a few lessons with Adele when they got back, but then Adele was called away mysteriously as well. Knatt cagily avoided her questions about that, insisting only that Adele was a busy woman with a world of responsibilities all her own.
