by Nicole Helm
Willa closed her eyes against a wave of pain and fear and then turned to focus her attentions on the generator. She couldn’t look at Dad. She’d break right along with him. She had to focus on the generator. On the danger.
She didn’t know anything about the hit man’s targets. Maybe they weren’t that good of people anyway. Still, fear and guilt ate away at her insides like acid. It wasn’t fair whoever the targets were might die simply because they were stuck here or that Dad might die.
Might die.
Just cracked.
After a few long, excruciating minutes Mom got the cameras up and began studying the images. Though the tracks of tears were evident on her face, and her eyes were red and puffy, she appeared calm and in control. An expert spy.
He just cracked.
Shay hung up the phone. “We’ve got ten on the ground. It’s the most we can get before morning.”
“How many men do you think your ten can take out?” Mom asked, her eyes sharp on the computer as she tapped at keys, bringing up the infrared censors that would be able to pick up video in the dark—a feature Willa hadn’t even been aware of.
Willa thought of what Holden said about Mom and Dad using this when she didn’t know it, and it had to be true. It had to be true. Willa shook it away. Didn’t matter now. All that mattered was survival.
Mom studied the different video screens. She was pale and clearly shaken, but Willa could see in this moment she was a spy. She was doing her duty, no matter what mistakes Dad had made.
“Twenty to thirty, depending.”
“It doesn’t look like we’ve got more than fifteen. I don’t know their backup situation, but I wouldn’t think it’d be on-site since they should think there’s only two of us here.” She glanced at Holden, then Elsie on the ground. “I don’t know if they knew about you.”
Shay nodded. “We’ll take the chance. We’ve got a medic team waiting to transport to the closest hospital.”
“Both of them, or just yours?” Mom asked. There was no bitterness in her voice. Just a weary kind of acceptance.
“Both,” Holden answered firmly, brooking no argument from Shay or Granger.
“I’ll give my team the signal to move,” Shay said, sitting with Elsie’s head in her lap, and somehow looking every bit the fierce leader of her group. “I’ve got contact with my lead, and he’ll relay orders to his team.”
“Wait to have them move,” Holden said. “Give me five. I’m going to go out.”
“No,” Willa felt herself say without fully thinking it through.
“It’ll make it eleven men on the ground,” Holden said firmly, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at Shay. “You two stay here with Elsie and...him. Betty told you how to take care of them in the meantime. Here, I’m superfluous. I might as well be out there helping the team.”
This time Willa said her no with more force, with more intent. “You can’t just go out there.”
“Yes, I can.”
Shay tossed him something, and he caught it easily, immediately hooking it to his ear. Some kind of earpiece. “He’ll keep in touch,” Shay said, and Willa knew it was for her benefit. “It connects to my phone. You and your mom can relay what you see to him and the rest of the team.”
Shay carefully moved Elsie’s head off her lap, gently laying it on the floor. She stood and began to pull off the heavy black vest she was wearing.
“I’m not taking your vest,” Holden said irritably. “You might need it here.”
“That’s only if they get through you first, which, if you have a vest, there’s less chance of. Take it.”
“Please,” Willa added. “Please take it.”
Holden scowled, but he walked over to Shay and took the vest. He loosened the straps then fitted it over his head. “There? Happy?”
She wasn’t. Even a little. She moved from the generator to him. Too many fears. Too many possible outcomes. So much bad had already happened. She wasn’t sure how much strength she had left. So she didn’t reach out and touch him. She just looked at him and felt like her insides were being crushed by bricks. She could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she used all her strength not to shed them. “Just...be careful.”
Holden leaned down and gave her a quick, hard kiss. “Don’t leave this bunker until it’s safe.”
Then he was gone. In a blink. Willa stared after him. Gone into the dark. Where men with guns were waiting.
“Who is he?” Mom murmured.
Willa didn’t know what to say or how to explain. All she had was one simple truth. “I love him.”
“Well, I can tell that, but who is he?”
Willa turned back to Mom and the computers and the work they had to do to keep Holden and the rest of his group safe. “A very good man.”
* * *
HOLDEN MOVED THROUGH the night. It was familiar, routine, habit. It was an assignment like any other. Except the odd, terrifying need to get back in one piece.
He’d never had anyone to get back to. At least not since he’d started down this path. North Star might have become his family, but he’d never fully thought of what they might feel if he was hurt or dead. So he’d never had this ever-present nagging worry that he had to avoid it.
The earpiece crackled. “Headed straight for a group of three. Reroute east a good bit and you might be able to sneak around behind them and meet some of your own men.” It wasn’t Shay’s voice in his ear—it was a woman he didn’t recognize. Which meant it had to be Willa’s mother.
That felt a little weird, but he followed her instructions. As far as he could tell, she was on the up and up, unlike her husband.
He moved east, circled around back. He tapped a tree softly, using the North Star code to announce his presence. He listened for the reply, and once he heard it approached.
It was Gabe and an operative named Mallory. Gabe gestured toward the group of three they were watching, then laid out the plan of action in field signals.
Approach and, if undetected, subdue. If detected, shoot to debilitate.
Holden nodded, and then they moved through the dark and the trees.
The voice in his ear got loud. “You’ve got two on your back. Now.”
Holden whirled as the first shot went off. He wasn’t sure it hit anyone, but he immediately shot back. One stumbled but didn’t lose his footing. “Gabe and Mal, stay up front. I’ll take these two.”
They spoke their assent, more gunfire echoing through the night. It was hard to aim in the dark, though sound and the woman’s voice in his ear helped.
“Ten o’clock and three o’clock,” she said, giving him enough of an idea about where his attackers were to shoot in the general direction. He was pretty sure he got one, but an explosion hit his chest before he could fire another shot.
The bullet hitting his vest was hard enough to knock the breath out of him, and he stumbled backward and fell on his butt. He didn’t lose his gun, but he landed awkwardly enough it was going to take precious seconds to get back into shooting position.
Precious seconds he didn’t have. Holden was prepared to roll onto the ground and hope for the best when he heard the sounds of pounding...not feet. Too light to be feet. Then there was a growl, the sounds of snapping teeth. Followed by the high-pitched scream of someone Holden didn’t think was on his team.
“Get it off me! Get it off me!” the voice he didn’t recognize yelled.
A flashlight beam clicked on. Gabe’s. He swung it around, counting out the three bodies they’d taken out on one side. On the other side, one body was crumpled on the ground. The other was writhing and screaming as a dog bit his arm. His gun arm.
“Jim.”
The dog stopped, then trotted over to Holden as if nothing had happened. Mallory swept in, collecting all the guns. Gabe tied up the man who was still screaming about the
wolf attack.
“It was a dog, dude,” Gabe said. “Perfectly nice one,” he added, gesturing to where Holden still sat on his butt.
Holden reached out and scratched Jim behind the ears. “You might have saved my life, bud.”
The dog plopped down next to Holden and contentedly let Holden pet him while Holden listened to the instructions in his earpiece.
“You’ve got all of them. Shay’s sending in the medic team. Your orders are to follow, flanking them in case of more men.”
“Got it,” Holden muttered, loosening the straps on the damn vest. His chest hurt like hell and he couldn’t quite get a full breath, but he was alive. Thank God for that.
Holden got up, Jim getting to his feet and following close by Holden wherever he walked. Gabriel relayed the orders to the rest of the team, and they waited for the medic team to emerge, then fanned out in a careful protective line. Jim never left Holden’s side.
In the end, that was it. They waited and waited as the medical team entered the bunker, as they got Willa’s father and Elsie out and into the transport vehicle. No one came. Aside from the FBI anyway.
Inside Willa’s house was a hub of activity. Different groups appraising other groups, getting facts and information straight. Holden had to sit with one FBI agent for far too long, and when he was done, there was one person Holden didn’t see in the crowd.
He tapped Shay’s arm, drawing her away from the heated argument she was having with Granger.
“Where’s Willa?”
Shay looked around, frowning. “I’m not sure. Maybe you should ask her mom? Vera’s over there talking to some suit from the FBI.”
But Holden didn’t want to interrupt or worry Willa’s mother when he didn’t have to. When he looked down at Jim still next to him, Holden suddenly knew exactly where she’d be.
He walked back outside, Jim following, and to the barn. The sun was beginning to rise, but the world was mostly still dark. There was a dim light shining from inside. He stepped in to find her exactly where he’d thought, and yet so much more her than he’d realized.
Not just with her animals, but sitting on the floor of the barn surrounded by them. A cat on her lap, goats behind her. Dogs everywhere.
His chest hurt more, but it wasn’t the nasty bruise he’d likely have from the impact of the bullet on the vest. It was just her.
He didn’t know what to say. There were too many feelings. Because her part in this was over and she was safe and now...
What now?
“Hi,” she offered. “Everyone’s here and okay, but I can’t seem to find...” She trailed off as Jim trotted in behind him.
“Pretty sure your dog saved my life,” Holden managed. She looked so fragile there, sitting in hay surrounded by animals. Someone had rebandaged her head, and the gauze was a stark white against her ashen face and reddish hair.
Jim trotted over to Willa, and she simply buried her face in the dog’s fur and gave him a tight squeeze. “Aren’t you brave and clever,” she murmured to the dog.
“I like to think so,” Holden replied, hoping to make her smile.
She looked up at him. Her lips almost curved, but it was hardly a smile. She just stared at him for the longest time.
Uncomfortable with the silence, Holden fidgeted. “Did your mom catch you up?”
She shook her head, still holding on to the dog for dear life. “No, she was still talking to...whoever and filling them in.”
“Do you want to know?”
She looked down at the cat in her lap. She didn’t answer. But he figured knowing might help her break through the shock she was surely feeling.
“Your father’s in surgery. It’ll be a while before we know how he’ll fare, but he’s still fighting.”
She let out a breath. “Even if he lives, he’ll go to jail.”
“I think he’ll get some psychiatric help first.”
She sat with that for a minute, then finally looked up and met his gaze. “Elsie?”
“She’s fine. They want her to stay overnight for observation, but she’s recovering nicely. All the men we stopped have been arrested, and the Ross Industries warehouse is being raided by the feds.”
Willa stroked the cat with one hand, the dog with the other. A goat stood behind her quietly munching on something. Another cat sat on a pail in the corner, and three dogs lay as one in some hay right next to her. This was where she was meant to be. Not off chasing bad guys. Here. Living a real life. A normal life. Well, sort of normal.
Why did he suddenly want one of those?
“There’s more, isn’t there?” she asked on a sigh.
Holden didn’t see how he could keep it from her. “There are still two hit men out there. Sabrina’s already made progress on the name your mother gave us, and she had information about the second name. So we’re doing everything we can to save both men.”
“Why would the hit men still kill them if there’s no one to pay them?”
“We don’t think Ross Industries is the only group involved. Just another arm. But we cut off this one. That’s something.”
“Ah.” She nodded, stroking the animals. “So you have more work to do,” she said softly.
He supposed he did. And for the first time in his life... “I’ve never not wanted to go back and get a new assignment. I’ve never...wondered what a different life might look like.”
This time when she smiled it was bigger, gentle, but still so sad. “That’s because you didn’t care if you were alive.”
It was true. He hadn’t realized it, but it was the simple truth since the day the state took away his sisters and brothers. Since the foster homes kept them apart. His parents were gone, and his siblings taken away from him, and it hadn’t really mattered if he’d survive. He’d decided he wanted to put that to good use, and he had.
He’d done good things not caring if he survived them. But today had been different. She’d made it all different. He moved forward. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He didn’t know how to be this person she’d made him into.
But he understood, because he knew her, that no matter what he offered, she would find some way to make it...make sense. So, he found a way to scoot his body in between her and her menagerie of animals. Jim wiggled over to him, resting his head in Holden’s lap.
Willa leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, so he wrapped his arm around her. “I care now.”
She flung her arms around him then, the cat meowing irritably between them. It was bizarre and somehow...exactly right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
There was no more talking after that. Not of her father, this group that was after her, or the future. Shock and adrenaline seemed to wear off, and everyone staggered off to beds to sleep.
Holden slept with her that night, or rather, morning by the time they’d gotten there. Willa had woken up once and turned into him, and he’d simply held her. They’d held on to each other. She hadn’t cried again. She’d simply relaxed back into sleep, tangled up in him.
There’d been no talk of the future then either. Back in the barn he’d said he cared if he lived, but that didn’t mean he was going to...what? Stay?
Willa told herself not to wish for it. Just because the danger was over didn’t mean Holden’s job was over. Dad wasn’t out of the woods. Cutting off an arm certainly didn’t end any danger.
This time when she rolled over, the spot next to her was empty. She poked her head over the other side of the bed to where Jim had been, but like Holden, he was gone. Jim hadn’t left Holden’s side since last night. Or this morning.
She squinted at her clock. Seven thirty. And based on the fading light outside her window, seven thirty at night. Oh, her poor animals. What had they been through these past few days? And now she was back and not even taking care of them.
Will
a swung out of bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in her head and Pam’s irritable meowing. She pulled on a sweatshirt and some thick socks and headed downstairs. She’d tend her animals, try to get her thoughts around what to do about Holden and then maybe have an actual talk with her mother about...everything.
Her heart pinched at that. Truth be told, she didn’t want to have that conversation. She didn’t want...
Well, this. But she had to face it. A lot sooner than she’d like, because when she got to the kitchen, her mother and Shay were sitting at a table, Holden standing behind them with Jim at his feet.
“Hi,” Willa said, wishing she’d stayed in bed.
Mom smiled. “Have a seat, sweetheart. We need to talk about some things.”
Great. But Willa didn’t have a choice, so she slid into a seat across from Shay. She looked up at Holden, but his expression was blank. Unreadable. Oh, to have that superpower.
But she had emotions, and she’d never wanted to learn how to school them that much.
“First, your mom called the hospital, and your father’s prognosis is pretty good. He came out of surgery, and the doctors believe he’ll make a good recovery.”
When Holden delivered that news, there was some spark of...him. Warmth. But then Shay began to talk.
“Willa, your mother, Holden and I have had some conversations about what the future looks like.”
“Without me,” Willa noted.
“You were asleep,” Holden pointed out.
Willa glared at him. “You could have waited.”
“We could have,” Shay agreed, with a conciliatory note to her voice. “But there were some time-sensitive things North Star needed to take care of, and it led us to have some conversations about what North Star could do to protect your family.”
Mom reached across the table and took her hand. “Yes, we came up with some ideas, but we’re not going to force you into anything, Willa. We just...” She trailed off, looking over at Shay.
