As the ambulance departed, Hope knelt down beside Lucy and buried her face in the long fur. Just for a moment, she couldn’t bear to think. She had lost her father, and then her mother. She realised Mr Jackson was now so important to her he could almost be family. She couldn’t be going to lose him, too, could she?
Susie and Simon and even Robbie offered to stay with her but she assured them she was fine and eventually they left. Robbie held her tightly as he kissed her goodbye but she couldn’t think about him now. She could only think about Mr Jackson and how she had let him down.
Chapter Seventeen
Hope didn’t sleep at all that night. She took Lucy up to her bedroom, much to the dog’s confusion, and lay in the darkness, not even closing her eyes. She dropped one hand to the side of the bed to rest on the warm head of the bearded collie. It was the only comfort she could find.
As soon as the grey light of morning began to show at the window, she rose. Wrapping herself in a dressing gown, she went downstairs to let Lucy out and put on the kettle for tea. Was it too early to phone the hospital? She had no idea, but she was going to try.
Surprisingly, after a number of delays, Hope was put through to the High Dependency Unit. She explained to the staff nurse she was Mr Jackson’s carer and was told he had come through the emergency thrombectomy with no apparent ill effects. They were hopeful there would be no long-term damage. The nurse said more, was actually quite chatty, but Hope found she couldn’t take most of it in. She asked the nurse to tell Mr Jackson she had phoned and that his dog Lucy was well. She ascertained she might be able to go in for a few minutes visiting that afternoon.
When she put the phone down she burst in to tears. Mr Jackson had a very good chance of coming through. Lucy nudged her leg, not understanding but keen to help. Hope slid to her knees on the floor and flung her arms around the dog.
‘You’re a darling,’ she said. ‘And your daddy is going to be fine, just fine.’
She had a shower and walked Lucy around to the Ashburys’ to tell them the news. Despite her lack of sleep, by the time she returned to Kirkside she was bursting with energy. It was still too early to go in to the hospital, but she had to do something.
Her eyes fell on the box of photos Susie had pushed into her arms all those days ago. Did she have the energy – and the courage – to look at them now?
She made herself a mug of coffee and carried the box to the kitchen table.
The box contained more than just the pictures of her mother she had already seen. This was a whole family photograph collection. Hope turned over the curling black and white pictures. Some had names written on the back, occasionally there were even dates, but mostly there were just faces staring fixedly at the camera. It was unnerving. Were these people her family?
Gradually, she began to sort them out. She found a pen and paper and began to make notes. She knew who her grandparents were now. Jane Calvert née Irving and Joseph Calvert. She examined them on the pictures Susie had shown her and then worked backwards. Here was Jane and Joseph’s wedding picture, just the two of them, wearing dark suits and even darker expressions. Had Jane told Joseph by this time what she had done to his child?
And going further back was a picture of Joseph in uniform, with his hair neatly parted and his face pale. And then one or two of children, always boys. These must be the Calvert boys, Joseph and his brothers.
One thing was clear. The Calvert family had been a happy one. The adults might stare solemnly at the camera, but the children giggled and posed. They had arms around each other’s shoulders, leant happily against an adult’s leg. Yes, this was a family having fun. She wrote down the names of the boys: Tom, Charlie, Michael, Norman, and Joseph, the baby. On one photograph it was marked ‘Joe, Lizzie, and children’. So her grandmother, Joseph’s mother, had been Lizzie. She wrote those names down too, and found she had the beginning of a family tree.
But why was there nothing of the Irvings? Didn’t Jane’s family take photographs?
Then, almost at the bottom of the box, she found a framed picture of a beautiful toddler with long ringlets and dark eyes. This had been taken by a professional photographer. She turned it over. ‘Jane Elspeth Irving, 1908’. At last, some record of Jane. Her parents had prized her, too, had had her photograph taken and had framed it. She really was a pretty little thing. Hope examined it for a long time.
There was no other record of the Irvings. Hope realised she didn’t even know if Jane had been an only child, although she presumed so. Hope found she wanted to know more. The only problem was: how could she find out?
Hope hadn’t realised how fond she had grown of Mr Jackson. Yes, he was crotchety and difficult. He didn’t always like to chat and he could be fussy and critical. But he was interested in her, too, and she in him. He might be well into his eighties but his mind and his sense of humour were as lively as those of a much younger man. He was, quite simply, good company, and Hope missed him.
She still felt very guilty about having let him fall ill. Despite everyone’s assurances, she was sure if she had been a little more observant, a little bossier, she could have made things better. But most of all she was relieved he was recovering, and desperate to have him back home.
It made her think about the future. She couldn’t stay with him forever, she knew that. He wouldn’t want it and nor did she. But did she really want to move far away, not to see him for months at a time, if ever? Did she want to leave the friendly support and affection she got from Susie and Simon Ashbury? The more she thought about it, the more she realised she didn’t. She would have to start looking around, to see if there was some way of making a living that would keep her in the area.
She tried not to think what role Robbie Mackenzie might play in these plans. She hardly knew him, really. He had been very supportive after Mr Jackson was rushed to hospital, but he hadn’t pushed her to go out with him again. He had probably changed his mind. Which was absolutely fine. She wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. If he wanted to be just friends, she was perfectly happy with that.
Her musings were not helped by Susie, who popped by or phoned at least every other day and, somehow, managed to mention Robbie every time.
‘Such a nice boy,’ she was saying, on her latest visit. ‘Imagine him giving up his own job to help out his father like that. That’s what I call real family feeling.’
‘Yes,’ said Hope, hunting around for another subject to distract her godmother. ‘Did I tell you that Sarah phoned? She seems very pleased with the ball gown I made for her. I posted it up last week and she says it fits perfectly, which is lucky.’
‘More skill than luck, I’d say,’ said Susie. ‘She told me she was delighted with it. And mentioned a couple of her friends might be getting in touch about a special outfit for Christmas. That would be good news, wouldn’t it?’
‘I’m flattered, of course,’ said Hope. ‘But I don’t know how practical it is, with them being in Edinburgh …’
‘You’ve got a car and no doubt so have they. It’s only an hour and a half away. And you did promise to go and visit Sarah. Once Mr Jackson is home and settled, perhaps you could schedule a visit in along with a session of fittings?’
Hope shook her head doubtfully. ‘Maybe. Now I need to take Lucy for a quick walk before I head over to the hospital. Do you want to come with me?’
‘Yes, why not. You remember we said we might go and have another look at Cleughbrae? Why don’t we do that?’
She had an intentness to her expression that made Hope immediately wary. She did want to go and have another look at Cleughbrae. But not with Susie, and not today. Susie had a way of making you see things her way, and that was no longer what Hope wanted.
‘I don’t think we’ve time for that today,’ she said firmly, and was relieved when Susie didn’t insist.
Chapter Eighteen
Robbie decided it was time he sorted himself out. It felt as though his life had been on hold for weeks, months even. He h
ad to get back to his own job and start thinking about the future. He had helped out the family by taking Luke’s place on the farm, but Luke and Clare were home now and it was time to move on.
Robbie had phoned his boss Jamie to arrange a date for starting back at work, and the older man had suggested he come in for a chat so they could plan the next few months. That was what Robbie needed, someone who believed in him.
He felt almost cheerful as he parked outside the estate offices. Sulwath Estates owned thousands of acres in the Southern Uplands of Scotland, but you wouldn’t have known it from the modest buildings here. That was one of the things Robbie liked about the organisation. They put their money into things that mattered – the countryside – not into fancy offices.
He found Jamie sitting behind his desk, frowning at the computer screen. He was a tall man with very short hair and a weather-beaten complexion, who always looked slightly ill at ease indoors.
He rose with relief and shook Robbie’s hand. ‘Good to see you. Everything all right at home? Grab yourself a wee coffee. There’s something I want to discuss with you.’
Robbie took a seat. For a while they chatted about the projects he had been working on before his extended leave. The ranger-led walks had been very popular, but they would tail off now the winter was approaching. Jamie seemed impressed with the way he had got many of the local farmers to work with the estate on land management, especially the regeneration of indigenous forest.
‘I’m keen to get on with the bug survey as soon as I’m back,’ said Robbie.
‘Ah, yes,’ said Jamie, rubbing his chin. ‘I was hoping young Susan would take that on. I don’t think you’ll have much time for any hands-on involvement.’
Robbie frowned. He’d been looking forward to doing the survey. What on earth did Jamie have in store for him? Maybe he hadn’t been pulling his weight as well as he had thought; maybe they weren’t happy with his work. After more than a month of being constantly in his father’s company, that was all too easy to believe.
‘We’ve been having a bit of a reorganisation,’ said Jamie, watching him carefully. ‘There’s so much going on in conservation and land management these days that no one can keep an eye on the whole estate any more. We’ve decided to split it into two regions: east and west.’
‘Ah,’ said Robbie, to show he was listening. He could see the sense of that. The estate stretched from Nithsdale in the west right through to the Scottish Borders. It wasn’t just the size that made it difficult to manage as one entity, it was also the very disparate land uses.
‘I’ve been wanting to do it for some time,’ said Jamie. ‘But it’s taken a while to talk the laird round. He’s finally agreed to give it a one year trial. I’m to carry on in my job, but concentrating on the east of the region. And we’re looking for a Senior Ranger to take the lead in the west area. Your name immediately came to mind and we wondered if you’d consider taking it on, for one year initially …’
Robbie didn’t need to consider. ‘Yes!’ he said, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I mean, I’d need to know more about what you’d expect from me, but basically, I’d be delighted.’
Some good news, at last! He spend the next hour talking over the options with Jamie, and when he left the office, felt a foot taller than when he had gone in. This would mean more money, which was always welcome, or course, but most of all it was recognition. And the chance to put a few of the ideas he had into practice without always having to seek approval first. And the chance to train up juniors just the way he knew they should be trained. And to introduce more walks, winter ones this time, and … the possibilities were endless.
As he drove back to St Ann’s Bridge he knew there was one person he wanted to share this news with. Hope McIlroy. He hadn’t see much of her recently. She had been so caught up with Mr Jackson, and he hadn’t been in the best of moods, knowing how useless his father thought him to be. It was hard to press someone to go out with you when you were a failure.
But he wasn’t a failure any more! It was amazing what a little bit of appreciation could do. He called straight round to Kirkside, but unfortunately there was no one there.
One good thing had come from Mr Jackson’s latest problems. His son Andrew had finally arranged to visit from Australia. He and the younger of his three grown-up children were due to arrive at the weekend.
‘I’ve got everything ready for when Andrew arrives,’ said Hope when she visited Mr Jackson in hospital a couple of days before he was due home. ‘They’re hiring a car in Glasgow and should arrive early Sunday afternoon.’ She had handled most of the communication with Andrew, as phone calls to and from the hospital weren’t easy. Previously she had been rather annoyed with the man, on his father’s behalf. Why hadn’t he taken more interest, visited sooner? Now she had got to know him better and realised he had problems of his own. His wife suffered from poor health and he was self-employed which made it difficult for him to get away.
‘It’ll be good to see him, I can’t deny it,’ said Mr Jackson. ‘But don’t you go putting yourself to too much trouble. It’s not your job to look after visitors as well as Lucy and me.’
‘I don’t mind,’ said Hope. She liked it when Mr Jackson’s old impatience showed through.
‘The boy he’s bringing with him, Mark, he must be about your age. He should be able to help out, not need looking after.’
‘There was one thing I wondered.’ Hope hesitated. ‘If you’ve got family staying, maybe you’d rather be on your own with them?’ She hadn’t been sure how to put this. She didn’t want Mr Jackson to be offended. And, sure enough, he was starting to scowl.
She hurried on. ‘I could easily stay with the Ashburys for a while, give you some time alone together.’
‘Rubbish,’ said Mr Jackson firmly. ‘I need you. I’m not having Andrew doing my washing and helping me in and out of bed. And he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with all these blessed pills and potions you put out for me.’
‘I’m happy to stay, if you’re sure?’ Hope was touched that he wanted her. ‘But you know I will have to move out at some point. Soon you’ll be perfectly capable of looking after yourself. It’s a waste of your money to keep paying me, and besides it’s not good for you to rely on someone else.’
She was worried that Mr Jackson might be put out by this plain speaking but he just patted her hand. ‘We’ll think about that in a wee while, shall we? With the fuss the doctors are making, I can’t see them being happy for me to be on my own just yet.’
Hope nodded, willing to allow the subject to drop for now. She began to tell him about Lucy’s insistence on sleeping in Mr Jackson’s room even though he wasn’t there, and then a few titbits of gossip from the village.
He tried to pretend he wasn’t interested in gossip but he couldn’t help himself. ‘So young Robbie is giving up on his father and going back to his own work, is he?’
‘I don’t think you can say he’s giving up. Luke is home now and almost fully recovered.’
‘Hmmph. And have you been seeing much of Robbie yourself? I hear my grandson’s been asking about you, asking his dad to find out if you’re single and pretty, but I told him you were spoken for.’
Hope opened her mouth to protest, but found she was speechless. She was used to Susie being pushy, but not Mr Jackson. She cleared her throat, hoping she wasn’t blushing. ‘Robbie and I are just good friends.’
‘Hmmph,’ said Mr Jackson again. He closed his eyes and lay back on his pillows.
Hope was relieved. She didn’t want to discuss Robbie with him. After seeing very little of him for almost a fortnight he had phoned and invited her to go for a picnic the very next day. He told her about his promotion and said he wanted to celebrate. Hope had been pleased to accept the invitation, but then wondered if she should have been less eager. She didn’t want him to think she was someone who could be picked up or dropped as it suited him. Was that the kind of person Robbie was? She really didn’t know him very well.
<
br /> Chapter Nineteen
‘Where are we going?’ Hope asked Robbie as they set off in his Land Rover. It was October and not really her idea of a good time of year to picnic. She hoped she had dressed warmly enough for the cool, misty day.
‘Remember I once told you about the upland bogs?’ Robbie turned to smile at her.
Hope was surprised he remembered that brief conversation so long ago. ‘Yes. But actually, I didn’t know what they were.’
‘That’s what I figured. So I thought I’d show you. I need to check out the area we’re visiting for a possible project at work and I thought you might like to come along.’
Although Hope had warned herself to keep a distance from Robbie, she found it was impossible to do so. He was so relaxed, such good fun to be with. He explained how important the wetlands were for wildlife and with an occasional helping hand from him she found herself walking for miles across the deserted hill. She would have thought this place a wilderness if he hadn’t stopped to point out the tiny insects to her, the mosses and bog myrtle and all the other things that when you had seen them once were suddenly all around you. This wasn’t a wilderness at all, it was fascinating.
When they stopped for the picnic they sat close together on the small blanket and ate their sandwiches and fruit in silence. Hope was pleased her newly acquired walking boots were standing up to the outing. She was almost too hot and took off her multi-coloured hat to help her cool down.
She waved it around at the land that fell in gentle waves of green and brown before them. ‘It’s wonderful up here. I would never have thought of a picnic at this time of year, but it’s brilliant.’
‘Ah ha, so you thought it was a crazy idea, did you?’ Robbie grinned at her.
‘I was sure you were tough enough for it, I just wasn’t sure I was.’
‘Of course you are. You’re very tough.’ He took her hand for a moment and looked at it. ‘Although you do look so delicate. Don’t you think you should put your hat and gloves back on? The wind up here can be very chilling.’
Family Matters Page 11
