by Linda Huber
And no, no, no – Margie’s legs gave way and she lurched over to the armchair, hot lemon scalding through the tea towel while a howl of anguish tore at her throat. Marmaduke was alone on the sofa, and Bridie and Tabitha were nowhere to be seen.
Chapter 23
Evie sat on the sofa beside Tabitha, listening while Mammy left the house. It was always less homey here when Mammy went to the shops. Evie poked at Tabitha’s stripy fat tummy, but Tabitha spat at her and scratched before going to sit on the armchair. It would be nice if the kitties came out soon. Evie sucked her finger where the scratch was. Ouch.
The house was ghostly quiet without Mammy coughing and banging around, or snoring when she was asleep. Evie wriggled, still sucking her finger. It wasn’t fun, waiting in here, especially when Tabitha only wanted to sleep. Maybe Frith would come out to play until Mammy was back home again?
Evie jumped up and ran to the door, Tabitha following on. Evie stopped. ‘You have to stay in here or Mammy’ll be cross.’
Tabitha didn’t understand, though. Evie went back to the sofa, and Tabitha went with her. They settled down again, and Evie held her breath. Yes, shh, Tabitha was asleep. She inched up as slowly as she could and tiptoed back to the door – made it!
The house was still too quiet. All the kits except Tabitha were outside, that was the problem. Evie skipped through the kitchen and opened the back door.
The grass at the back was wet, and Evie stood on a pile of cat poo before she noticed it. Yuk. She scraped her trainer on the grass until it was clean again. Through the jungle to the fence at the end of the garden – but there was no sound from Frith’s side and nothing was moving there either. Evie scuffed her feet across the grass, but when she was almost back at Mammy’s house, someone’s back door slammed.
Evie tore back through the bushes to the fence. ‘Frith! Are you there?’
The bushes on Frith’s side rustled. ‘Yes! Are you out to play? My daddy’s coming to visit today. Does your daddy live with you?’
Evie’s tummy wobbled inside. ‘He used to. But he has a lot of – of confer-things that he has to go to.’
Was Mummy back from Spain yet?
‘My daddy doesn’t visit often but sometimes he comes for tea and then he gives me my bath, too. He plays the guitar – what does your daddy do?’
‘He goes to work. Can you come and play with the cats?’
‘Mummy said not to go away. You can come here. I have a lovely yellow bush. We can make a den underneath it.’
Evie squeezed through the fence and followed Frith through the jungle to the back corner. Frith stopped in front of a big bush with tiny yellow flowers all over. Mammy had one in her jungle too. They crawled underneath as far as they could go and sat looking out through a curtain of yellow. Evie grabbed a branch and sniffed. They didn’t smell of much.
‘We can bring a blanket to sit on and something to eat and drink.’ Frith got up again. ‘I’ll go and see if—’
‘Frith! Daddy’s here!’
Frith leaped up. ‘I’ll bring him to see our den! Wait here!’
Evie sat still. It would be lovely if her daddy came to play too, but he didn’t often do things like that. Sometimes they went to the park, but he was usually too busy to play. Ermintrude arrived with Socks, and they settled down beside Evie. This was better – waiting all alone in Frith’s garden wasn’t nice.
More rustling and Frith was back in the den. ‘Mummy’s cross. Daddy wanted to take me to the park and get ice creams, but Mummy won’t let him so he’s gone alone to get them. I told him you were here too. He’ll be back in two ticks, he said.’
Ooh. Ice cream! Mammy never bought ice cream – she didn’t have a freezer to keep it cold.
Frith crawled off again. ‘I’m going to get us a blanket to sit on!’
Evie’s tummy gave a big wobble. She and Mummy had chocolate ice cream at the park once, and once Daddy took them for a hamburger and they had ice cream then, too, but Mummy hadn’t liked that much.
‘Mummy says to ask if you’re allowed sweeties ’n’ stuff?’ Frith was back with a big towel.
‘Uh-huh.’ Evie helped spread the towel on the ground, and Frith reached into her pocket and brought out two tiny packets of Smarties. She gave one to Evie.
‘Ooh!’ Evie fished in her packet. ‘I like the red ones best!’
‘Me too!’
They sat there munching until a deep brown voice called down the garden. ‘Frithy-baby?’
Bushes rustled, and Frith giggled. ‘We’re in here!’
Evie pressed her back against the yellow bush as Frith kneeled up to hold the branches open for her daddy. He crept in, all bent over, then plumped down beside Frith. He was holding three ice-cream cones with chocolate flakes in them.
Frith whooped. ‘Yay! You got 99s!’
He passed one over. ‘I did. Hello, Bridie! I hope you like 99s too?’
He handed Bridie a cone, and she took it carefully, remembering to say thank you. She hadn’t had a 99 for such a long time.
Evie watched Frith’s daddy while she was licking her ice cream. He was nothing like her daddy. Frith’s daddy was wearing jeans that were almost as dirty as hers were, and his hair was longer than hers, too. But he liked 99s, so that was good.
Frith and her daddy were talking all the time, so Evie didn’t have to say anything. She sat there eating her ice cream and getting sticky while they were talking about going on a bus trip to the Tall Ship, though Evie wasn’t sure what that was. She wiped her fingers on her jeans when she was finished – she’d got a little drip on her bandage, too. She smudged it almost away.
Frith’s daddy waggled his eyebrows at her. ‘What happened to your arm, then? Cool bandage, by the way.’
Evie frowned. That was the bit she didn’t remember very well.
‘It got bashed in a car.’ She held up her bandage for them to look at. ‘Mammy put the bandage on. It’s nearly better.’
‘Good-oh.’
He licked his fingers and grinned at her – he was nice.
‘Bridie, darlin’!’
Mammy’s shaky voice came drifting over the garden, and Evie scrambled up. ‘I have to go.’
‘Nice to see you, Bridie.’ Frith’s daddy gave her a pat on the head as she crawled past, then Evie ran to the fence and squashed through. Was Mammy cross?
Mammy was standing at the back door, and oh, no – was she crying?
‘Bad girl, giving me a fright like that! You could have fallen and hurt yourself again, playing outside while I’m not here to keep an eye on you. Come inside and stay where I can see you.’
Mammy grabbed hold of Evie and gave her a little shake and then a big hug. Evie went with her into the living room and sat beside Tabitha on the sofa while Mammy drank her new medicine. It smelled lemony, and it made Mammy go to sleep. Evie crept upstairs to the room where she could watch the street outside.
After tea Mammy made another lemon drink and they went into the living room. The medicine was working, Mammy said, but she still wasn’t happy because she wasn’t talking much. Stories about when they’d been in Ireland would make her cough, she said. Evie picked at a hole on her sleeve. This was boring.
‘Can I go and tidy the cupboard in the hall? I haven’t done that one yet.’
Mammy gave her a tiny nod, but she didn’t smile. Evie crept out and opened the cupboard door. It was full of old boxes and a vacuum cleaner that was covered in dust – was it broken? She held onto the door frame and stood right up on tiptoe to see the shelf above her head – ooh, a chocolate box. Evie reached up and pulled it down, and a cloud of dust flew off the top. All Mammy’s things were old.
She dropped down on the hall floor and opened the box – there were no chocolates left. A pile of old papers was sitting at the top, envelopes and things held together with an elastic band. Boring. And some old black and white photos underneath. In most of them, two little boys and two girls were playing at the seaside.
Bang! Ban
g! Evie’s heart thumped, and she pulled her knees up to her chin. Someone was thumping on the front door again. She held her breath – but Mammy was coming to answer it.
Instead of opening the door, though, Mammy stood there with her finger on her lips, staring hard at Evie, who kept still as a mouse. What was happening?
‘Margie Donohue! I know you’re in there. Those cats of yours have been digging up my vegetable patch again – it’s disgusting. If you can’t keep them under control, I’ll report them – and you!’
Footsteps stamped off, and after a moment, Mammy winked at Evie. ‘That was Mrs Posh next door again. She has fancy curtains and a vegetable patch.’
Good, Mammy was smiling. Evie stood up. ‘And she doesn’t like cats.’ She gave the box to Mammy. ‘I found this.’
Mammy took the box to the sofa. ‘Dearie me, look at this. Bills – but I paid them, I think. Ah!’ She lifted the photos out. ‘How on earth did they land in here?’
‘Who are they?’ Evie leaned against Mammy to see better.
Mammy sat forward and spread the photos out on the coffee table. ‘These are of when we were in Ireland, maid, don’t you remember? Home. Ah, my Ned – this was the day we went to Cork. You weren’t born yet. We took some pigs in a trailer and had a picnic on the beach after they were unloaded. Then we drove home the long way, by the sea. That was a grand day, that was.’
She lifted another photo, one of the ones with children on it.
‘And here’s my babies. Maeve, my big girl. And my boys.’
She stroked the photo with one finger, then gave Evie a cuddle. ‘And my Bridie.’
Evie stared at the picture. Was that her? But someone was knocking on the door again – not an angry bang this time, and no shouting, but Mammy whispered to stay quiet. Nothing more happened, and after a moment Evie tiptoed to the window. A man in a suit was walking away – oh! Daddy? But no, this man had different hair.
Evie skipped back to the sofa and lifted the photo of the bigger girl with curly hair. ‘Where’s Maeve now?’
Mammy gave a little jump – she’d been away in a daydream again.
‘Eh? Maeve? Dublin, she went to. And Aiden and Sam, they went further. Over the sea and far away. But my Bridie’s not going to do that, are you, darlin’?’
Mammy closed her eyes, and half a second later she was snoring. Evie put the photos back into the box and put it on top of the TV where the cats wouldn’t get it. She didn’t want to go over the sea and far away. It was good she was here with Mammy.
Day Twenty - Wednesday 6th May
Chapter 24
Wednesday started with the worst headache she’d had since her student days. Daria grabbed her crutches and tottered from her bed to the bathroom, where she crashed around in the cabinet for some paracetamol. She’d drunk her share of the bottle of Chablis Noah had opened last night, mainly to stop him drinking the lot – and it hadn’t worked, had it? He’d gone on to whisky when the bottle was empty, and the silence between them was telling its own story. She’d read that relationships often didn’t survive the loss of a child – but she’d never have thought it could happen to them.
She swung her way through to the kitchen, dotting her foot on the floor like the nurse had told her when the stitches came out. Noah was busy with the toaster, and resentment burned through Daria when he barely glanced up. How dare he ignore her?
Deliberately, she banged one of her crutches against the leg of the table. At least that made him look up. ‘Noah. We have got to talk. About us, about the accident, about Evie.’
‘What is there to say? She’s gone, because you had her in a bloody taxi with no child seat when it was hit by a fucking tanker.’
Daria remained motionless, her hands turning damp on the plastic grips on her crutches. He was looking for someone to blame, and that someone was her. It was horrible for her too – she hadn’t been there to hold her child in the last few seconds of Evie’s life. A new, jagged sensation was jabbing about in her head. It took her a few moments to work out what it was.
She was angry. No, she was raging – at Noah. He was back to ignoring her – it was pitiful – and she couldn’t even march off with her head in the air. Daria about-turned as briskly as she could and limped back to her bedroom.
The flat door slammed behind Noah and his briefcase before she was dressed. Daria slumped on the bed. This was appalling – they would have to go for bereavement counselling, or marriage guidance. They needed help with this.
She went back to the kitchen and sat sipping her coffee, the silence in the flat chilling through her. The ceiling was falling in on her today – she had to get out of here for a while. This afternoon’s babysitting session might allow her to spend a few hours in someone else’s four walls. If Liane agreed to it. Daria reached for her mobile.
‘Liane – would it be better if I came to you this afternoon instead of Frith coming here? I was thinking, that way you’d know she had plenty of toys and you wouldn’t need to feel obliged to hurry back.’
What a hypocrite she was. Daria rubbed her hand over her face. Liane was the one person in her life at the moment who treated her normally, but that would stop the moment the other woman knew about Evie. If Liane set foot in here, she’d see all the photos and things like Evie’s jacket still on the coatstand. They’d need to change that sometime, but oh, not yet.
Liane was cheerful as ever. ‘Sure – but wouldn’t it be easier for you at your place?’
‘My leg’s much better, I’m allowed to put weight on it now. And to be honest, being at home all day, every day is doing my head in.’
‘Okay. How about I ask Steve to pick you up on his way here and take you home again afterwards? Frithy’d love to show you her things. If you’re lucky, you might see some of the cat family next door, too.’
Daria laughed, then ended the call and burst into tears. Spending time with Frith was torture, but now she’d started, she couldn’t stop. Those moments of being a mother again, looking after a child – they were like a drug. The fact that it wasn’t her child was the worst agony in the world.
Her mobile pinged as Liane’s text came in. Steve will pick you up at half one. See you soon!
Daria pushed her mug away and propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her palm. That was one thing sorted. The situation with Noah was going to take a little longer.
Chapter 25
Liane strolled round the first group of paintings, Steve a few steps behind her. The Gallery of Modern Art was bang in the middle of Glasgow city centre, not an ideal place to park, so they’d left the car on the other side of the river and walked across the footbridge into town. The gallery was busy without being crowded, and Liane breathed in deeply as she went from one image to the next. Such colours – they reminded her of a Monet exhibition she’d been to once.
She stepped back to better admire a canvas of green and purple swipes and smudges that brought the rural scene to life. She’d expected to enjoy Steve’s company; enjoying the paintings too was an added bonus.
‘I can’t believe how fabulous these are. I wouldn’t mind a couple of prints for the walls at home.’
Steve joined her. ‘We can have a look in the shop on the way out. Tall trees seem to be a theme of his, don’t they? Which would you choose?’
Liane gazed around. Here, with Steve – it was right. Easy. They were on the same wavelength about enjoying the paintings for the colours and landscapes without looking for deep hidden meanings.
‘This one of the river, I think. Look at the light in it – you can almost feel the sunshine.’ Liane’s phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out. Yikes.
‘It’s Daria. I’d better take it.’ She stepped into an empty corner and tapped to connect, apprehension crowding in. Frith and Daria had been busy with a jigsaw when they left an hour ago – surely nothing had gone wrong?
Daria’s voice was low and echoing. ‘Liane, Frith and I are at the park along from your house, in the loos
. A man – Frith said he’s her dad – appeared when we were at the swings and I can’t get rid of him. He says he wants to take over from me and spend the afternoon with Frith. What shall I do?’
Liane pressed the phone against her ear as panic rose in her throat. Tony in the park? That wasn’t a coincidence; he must have been watching them. Waiting for his chance to – what? Take Frith? And what the shit was Daria doing, going to the park when she was on crutches?
‘Stay in the loos and keep Frith with you. I’ll come as fast as I can.’
Steve was beside her, his eyebrows raised. Liane strode to the exit, explaining as they went. ‘I don’t know what he’ll do. He talked about wanting to take her out somewhere the other day, but you know how little contact he had with her when she wasn’t well, and he’s so unreliable – I don’t want to see her hurt and I don’t trust him to look after her properly.’
This was when she needed the car twenty yards away and not over half a mile. They jogged down Queen Street and around back roads to the footbridge, Liane’s breath catching in her throat. She collapsed into Steve’s Ford and hyperventilated in the passenger seat as they sped back to Mansewood.
Steve pulled up at a red light. ‘Maybe all he wants is some normal father–daughter time, now Frith’s able to do stuff?’
‘Then he should have organised it properly with me. And he was never interested in doing things while she was in hospital, or at home sick. You can’t be a father on good days only. He’s never been alone with her, not even for a few hours. And I have an awful feeling that what he’s actually trying to do is scare me into—’ She broke off. This was so sordid, and she didn’t want to sound bitchy.
‘Scare you into what? Liane, has he ever hurt you?’
Steve’s voice was at least an octave higher than usual as the car moved off again, and Liane rushed to reassure him.
