by Jenna Brandt
But when the bitterness threatened to take hold and overwhelm her, Margaret would remind herself that she had their baby growing inside her. She needed to give all that love she had for Henry to their son. And she knew it was a boy. Somehow, she just did. He was Henry’s son, and he would be her constant reminder of the love she had with her husband.
Looking out the window, Margaret rubbed her stomach. She was at the end of her eighth month and the time for him to come into the world was fast approaching.
Smiling at the thought of holding him soon, she cherished her child. If it had not been for him, she knew that she would not have survived the loss of Henry. It was the knowledge that their child depended on her to live that made her get up every day and fight to survive. If she gave up, then she would forfeit his life as well.
She managed to keep herself intact through prayer and reading the Word of God. It helped her to meditate on the Psalms and how David, the anointed king of God, survived tremendous loss. The Lord had seen him through assassination attempts, living without a home for years, and the death of a child. God could and would show her how to live without Henry.
Suddenly, Margaret was overtaken by an unbearable amount of pain racking her body. She had been told what birth pains were supposed to feel like, but something was horribly wrong.
Quickly, she realized it was far too early for her to be giving birth. What would happen if she had the baby this early? Would he be able to survive? And if she did not make it through the process, who would take her child?
Margaret stood and started to walk towards the door in order to get help but stopped midway. Leaning against the wall, she doubled over as fits of pain hit her.
Forcing herself to breathe and make the air return to her lungs, she screamed with a shrill voice, “Sarah, I need you! Something is wrong with the baby!”
Trying to combat the fear, Margaret prayed, Lord, protect my unborn son and keep us safe. You gave him to me for a purpose, and I know you will not take him away from me now. I put our lives in your hands and believe that, in faith, you will see us through this!
She heard commotion down the hall and scurrying feet. Then the doors burst open and Sarah rushed to her side, followed by several other servants.
“What is it, my lady? What is happening?”
“I do not know, but I cannot even move. The pain is unbearable!”
She screamed as another wave of agony descended on her.
“I need you to send someone to get the doctor,” Margaret said in a breathless voice as Sarah started to give orders.
“But it is too early to have the baby, my lady.”
“I know, but my son’s strong. We will get through this.”
She grabbed the edge of Sarah’s sleeve as her companion led her over to the couch. “Listen to me. We need….” She stopped talking as she sucked in and gasped as another wave hit her. “We need… to go with the plan… we discussed. Get the unknown… doctor that I privately… contacted. Catherine cannot… be informed of the… birth.” Worry clouded Sarah’s eyes as Margaret added, “You know what will happen if she finds out.”
Margaret watched through groggy eyes as the doctor left her room. Sarah was sitting next to her as she tried to listen to the conversation between her other servants and the doctor outside her room.
Motty asked, “How is Lady Margaret and the baby?”
“She is having severe complications, and it is not clear whether either of them will make it through the night.”
Francisca asked, “Can we see them?”
“It would be best if they rest right now. They are both weak and need to sleep if they are going to get better.”
Patting Margaret’s hand, Sarah said, “I will be right back, my lady. I need to take care of everything with the doctor.”
Sarah went out of the room and Margaret heard her say to the doctor, “Remember, you say nothing to no one about the countess giving birth tonight. Here is the promised money.”
A few minutes later, Margaret heard the outer door to the street shut.
Motty asked Sarah tentatively, “The doctor did not really answer us. How is Lady Margaret?”
The distress in Sarah’s voice was unmistakable, as she replied, “Not well.”
Both girls gasped in worry.
“But I will do whatever it takes to make sure that she does get better, and I am sure all of you will as well. I need to go back in and sit with her.”
Francisca asked quietly, “Can I sit with her too?”
There was a pause before Sarah replied, “Yes, I think it would be good for her to have a couple of us nearby, but you must be quiet as she needs her rest.”
Sarah entered the room, followed by Francisca and Motty.
“What is going on? Where am I?”
Her hands automatically went to rub her stomach and she realized that her child was no longer there.
“Where is my son?” she asked, groggily.
Sarah’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You gave birth two days ago but fell unconscious right afterward. How do you know that you had a boy?”
“I have always known that I was carrying a boy,” she said matter-of-factly. “Where is he?”
“He is with his wet nurse currently.”
Margaret blinked several times and focused her thoughts. She needed to see her son. “I want to see him. Bring him to me.”
Sarah stood. “Yes, my lady, I will go get him right away.”
She stopped Sarah with her voice. “What of Catherine? Has she found out yet?”
Turning back around, Sarah replied, “No, my lady. Since you gave birth before the expected time, she is currently unaware. I did exactly as you asked and the doctor gave his word that he would tell no one. As for the servants, they are faithful to you and you alone. They will not tell anyone either.”
“Good, now bring me my son.”
A few minutes passed and Sarah reappeared with a tiny baby in her arms. Gently, she handed him over to his mother. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, perfect in every way, and God had protected both of them during his birth.
Margaret smiled and said, “He has his father’s face.”
“He is so darling.”
“Yes, that he is.”
Looking up, she said with a slight nervousness in her voice, “I need you to finish preparing the details for leaving.” Margaret directed Sarah to walk over to one of her chests and pull out a billfold of money. “That is all the money I was able to secure before Catherine took control of the Rolantry family holdings, along with some money and papers my father hid in case of an emergency. Take it and secure our passage. Have my things packed and ready to go, as well as the baby’s belongings. We have to be ready to leave in a moment’s notice.”
“How is the baby fairing, my lady?”
Margaret smiled down at her son. “He is doing exceptionally well.”
Sarah walked up and peered over at the one-week-old child. “Have you decided on a name yet?”
“I am going to name him after his father, Henry.” She looked up. “Fitting, do you not think?”
“Yes, it is a very good idea, my lady.”
“Have you heard any news about Catherine?”
Her companion shook her head in denial.
“Good. Remember to have everything ready nevertheless. We have waited to leave far longer than I had originally planned.”
“Yes, my lady, your recovery has taken much longer than anyone had anticipated.”
The doctor had told Margaret that after she had given birth, she had almost died. Margaret had been concerned while she prepared for her son’s birth that her delivery might meet with complications. She knew that her mother had died giving birth to her and her brother due to severe blood loss, and she had known it was possible she might have the same outcome. Luckily, Margaret’s doctor had faced similar situations several times with previous deliveries and was able to get the bleeding under control. But due to the excessive am
ount of blood she had lost, it took Margaret a solid week to finally be back on her feet.
“I realize that, but it is becoming far too risky for us to stay here. Catherine could find out at any moment, and I want to be gone before that happens.”
“Of course, my lady. Everything is ready, and we can leave as quickly as needed. I will be back shortly, but I need to go take care of a few final details for our departure.”
Sarah left the door ajar and Margaret could hear Francisca say in a frightened tone, “Miss, we have a problem. One of the servants has reported to Catherine about Lady Margaret’s delivery. We just found out and she should be here by nightfall.”
“How did you find out about this?”
“We found out only by accident. Phillip has a big mouth, and he was bragging about how he was going to be rich soon. Then we heard from a servant from one of the outlying estates that Catherine had stopped there last night to rest before continuing on to come here today.” She took a breath, then asked, “What are we going to do, miss?”
“The rest of you are going to do nothing. Albert and I are going to take Lady Margaret and the baby and leave. We are not going to say where we are going so that no one knows when Catherine arrives. Prepare a carriage. I must tell our mistress what has happened.”
Francisca asked, “Miss, Motty and I have nothing to keep us here. Can we please come with you? We’ll help take care of the baby, and I promise we will not get in the way.”
Margaret could hear the distress in the girl’s voice. Sarah probed, “Why do you ask?”
Francisca replied, “Our loyalty has always been to Lady Margaret. In addition, we have heard that Catherine has started to become cruel with her servants after the loss of her brother. She would surely be harsh to us for being loyal to our mistress.”
“I see. In that case, you are both welcome to come along, but Lady Margaret will not be able to pay you what you currently receive and it will not be easy.”
Sarah opened the door and stepped through. Margaret glanced up and inquired, “Sarah, I heard everything.”
“My lady, we need to be leaving immediately.”
Margaret started to stand with the infant in her arms. “Prepare everything for our departure, and then bring Phillip to me before we leave. Do not let him know we know or he will most likely try to flee before I can confront him.”
As Margaret got dressed, she thought about what was happening. She had never believed that she would end up leaving her beloved England. But then, she never would have imagined that she would be a widow at seventeen. So much had changed in the last year, and it was going to change even more now.
First wrapping her son in a thick blanket, she then tucked him back into her arms. Restless, he began to fuss, and she softly hummed him a lullaby. A few moments passed until he settled down and cooed with contentment.
Margaret loved her son, and she was going to do whatever it took to protect him from Catherine’s wrath, even if that meant leaving England forever. She recognized that leaving England would be the only way to not only escape Catherine but to escape the scandal that could be exposed at a moment’s notice. Too many people knew about her sordid past with the duke and her late husband. Every moment Margaret remained in England, there was a chance her reputation would be ruined, and then there would be no hope for either her or her son.
She never thought she would have to run away in the middle of the night because she feared for the safety of her family. But with her parents dead and having no family to protect her, she had no other recourse.
Margaret looked at Sarah and asked, “Are we ready to leave, Sarah? Do you have everything we need?”
Sarah nodded.
“Then let us be on our way. It is finally time to go to France and find out what happened to my brother.”
And with that, Margaret made the choice to leave her life in England behind forever.
Chapter 1
1863 Le Havre, France
Lady Margaret, Countess of Renwick, held on to the rail of the steamboat. As she approached the French shoreline, her long, raven locks blew in the wind and she could feel the fall air on her pale skin.
As she clutched the vessel’s edge, she wondered what lay ahead for her. Not only was she afraid, since it was her first time on the open sea, but also because everything was so unknown. She had barely been out of her province in England, and now she was about to step foot in a foreign country. This new place held the possibility of a completely fresh future for her and her newborn son.
Even though she had never been to France, Margaret knew more about it than any other country. Her twin brother, Randall, had been lost at sea when his ship went down outside of France. She had vigorously researched everything there was to know about the country, hoping that one day she might be able to take a trip to France to find him. But her father dealt with Randall’s presumed death by focusing on anything other than finding out what happened to him, which left no room to allow her to pursue her hopes of finding her brother alive.
Flash forward eight years and Margaret had finally made it to France in the most unexpected way. When she decided to flee the country, she made the decision to go there so she could carry out her plan to search for her brother. If she had to leave behind everything she loved and knew, it was not going to be in vain. If her brother was alive, she was going to find him.
As Margaret stepped off the ship, she was greeted by a tall, well-dressed gentleman with a thick French accent. “Welcome to France, Countess. I am so delighted to see you again. I am glad that you have arrived safe, and I have arranged for you to stay at my estate.”
Pierre Girard, the Vidame of Demoulin, was an old family friend and had visited her family right before her marriage to Henry. He had approached her father to discuss the possibility of courting her, but her father had declined his offer, opting to keep his promise to Henry’s late father instead.
Margaret studied the vidame; he had a chiseled body that was made evident by his tailored, stately suit in light grey. He was quite handsome with his straight, jet-black hair that stood out in contrast against his pale skin. His face was set off by his dark brown eyes that drew her in and held her attention. He was confident but not arrogant, which was refreshing in a nobleman, and there was something about him that exuded sensuality.
She had not been able to see Pierre’s admirable qualities when he previously visited because she had been infatuated with the Duke of Witherton. Nothing else mattered to her, and she had no idea who the duke really was or of what he was capable.
When Margaret realized she was in danger from her sister-in-law, she knew she had to leave England to protect her son. She discreetly contacted the vidame, via letter, to ask if he would be willing to allow her to stay with him while she made more permanent arrangements since she had been cut off from funds by Catherine. She explained her travel and stay with him should be kept quiet as there were safety concerns for her family if they remained in England. The vidame had agreed to her request, and Margaret was relieved to find somewhere safe to stay while she figured out what to do next.
“Countess, by title I am a protector of land and people alike. I assure you that you will be safe and I will not allow any harm to come to you or your son while you are under my care.” The young man bowed deeply, and as he came up, he took Margaret’s hand and kissed the top of it.
She smiled softly at him and spoke in flawless French, “Thank you for your hospitality, my lord.”
His mouth formed an appreciative grin. “You speak French beautifully, Countess. Tell me, how is it that you came to speak my language so fluently?”
“I had a deep… interest in your country since I was a young child and wanted to know every detail about it, including how to speak the language. At my insistence, my father hired a French tutor.”
He took her hand and put it in the crook of his arm. “Come, I will escort you to my estate, and then we can discuss what your plans shall be while you stay with me.�
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“I am honored that you have done as much as you already have for us. I am truly grateful.”
“After our last encounter in England, you should know by now that I would do anything you ask of me.”
She blushed at the compliment. It seemed Pierre’s interest in her had not dissipated since the last time they were together. “Your generosity is just one of your numerous admirable qualities, my lord.”
Hearing a noise behind her, they both looked at her entourage. With a hint of mirth, Pierre commented, “It does not seem you travel light, Countess.”
Margaret looked at her devoted servants, Albert, Sarah, Motty, and Francisca, who chose to follow her to France. Along with her son and several pieces of luggage, she could see that she appeared to be ostentatious. However, what the vidame did not know was that this trip had no return date. There was no going home for any of them.
As they walked towards the nearby carriage, Margaret weighed her options on whether to tell the vidame the full details of her predicament. She worried that, if she told him the entire circumstances surrounding her sordid past, he would look at her differently. She needed the vidame to remain on her side, so she chose to keep the intimate details surrounding her reasons for coming to France private.
“I hope that France meets and exceeds all of your expectations,” the vidame said as he helped Margaret up into the carriage.
She turned her head and looked down at him with her deep violet eyes, replying, “I am sure that it will, my lord.”
Chapter 2
The vidame’s estate was expansive, one of the biggest in which she had ever been, and she thoroughly valued all the comforts. It had been a long time since she had been treated so well. When Henry died, Catherine had left her with a skeleton staff and a small stipend for her needs. She had saved almost all of it, along with the hidden money she had from her father’s safety deposit box, for her plan to flee England. She had spent the entirety of her pregnancy living like a pauper.
