by Rachel Grant
Maddie took a sip of her tea. “I know your mother suffered from depression, and I suspect her marriage to your father played a major part in that, but I also feel confident in saying you were the light and joy in her life, Ava.”
Tears tracked down Ava’s face. “Then why did she leave me?”
Maddie put her hand over Ava’s on the table. “Because depression lies. It makes you believe life is too hard, or you’re not good enough. Because your father fed her depression instead of trying to help her. Because she lost the battle with her own mind. But honey, none of that was because of you. You’re probably the reason she stayed around as long as she did.”
“You can’t know that.”
“No. I can’t and don’t. I’m just guessing. What does your therapist say?”
“She says my mom loved me.”
“What does your heart say?”
Ava shrugged. She mopped her face with the cloth napkin, then took a sip of tea. The hand holding the cup shook as she set it down. “Maddie, do you think you can ever love me? Even after what I did?”
She’d asked herself the same question these last few days and hadn’t known the answer, but now, faced with the tearful girl who was so clearly remorseful, so deeply troubled, the answer rang out loud and clear. “Oh, honey, I think I already do.”
27
According to Chase, Ava had been in Maddie’s room for hours. Josh paced his small hotel room. He trusted Maddie to be gentle with Ava, but still, his heart clenched, given what he now knew about Ava’s childhood. Should he check on them?
The package that had just arrived from DC gave him the perfect excuse. He could bring Maddie her new Raptor-issued cell phone and help her download her phone backup from the cloud. But it would be lousy of him to interrupt if she and Ava were working things out.
They were working things out, right?
What if, somehow in this mess, he lost them both?
He ran a hand over his face. Sometimes he missed military life. When he’d been in the Navy, he’d always known what he had to do. He’d kept his emotional life simple—leaving toddler Ava behind had been bad enough. He wasn’t about to fall in love and have his own kids.
Still, he’d been envious of the guys with families. Someone to go home to. He couldn’t see Ava and Lori without endangering them, so he’d done his best to turn off his heart. He screwed around when Stateside, but never, ever got emotionally attached.
His team was all the family he needed. Then Owen had been injured in Somalia, and when he was Stateside, Josh did his best to help the guy. He ended up leaving the service a year before Keith so he could monitor Owen, who was living with his aunt in the DC area. During that year, he’d done consulting work for the Navy, sometimes at the Pentagon and other times at the Washington Navy Yard.
One day, he’d been in the cafeteria at the Yard and he’d seen Dr. Trina Sorensen with a group of friends having lunch. He’d later learned she’d been with Erica Scott and Mara Garrett, but at the time, he’d had no clue who any of the women were. It was just clear that they were more than three coworkers having lunch. They were friends, the kind that might even be closer than family.
He’d felt a pang of longing for his SEAL team, who were God knows where at the time. He’d suddenly missed Ava and Lori, and even Ari.
Trina’s laugh had carried across the room, and he’d been…mesmerized. He’d watched her and had felt the cold vise that had gripped his heart for years loosen a bit. It dawned on him that he no longer had to hold back from getting involved. He wouldn’t be gone for long stretches of time anymore and could make his own family.
He saw Trina a few more times in the cafeteria in the following months. He was thoroughly infatuated, but never tried to speak with her, never sought her attention. He didn’t even know if she was single or liked men, for that matter. It was safe to want her. Wanting a nameless woman didn’t cut into his ability to monitor Owen. Didn’t make demands on his time or his heart.
He risked nothing, but had a reason to look forward to the days when he was at the Navy Yard. Strangely, he felt less alone.
Then Keith left the Navy and moved to DC to help out with Owen, and Josh felt some of that burden lift. He received an email from an historian asking about the Somalia op, and that was the one event he could never speak of. He replied, saying her he wouldn’t speak with her, and deleted her email.
Then one early August night a few weeks later, Keith called and said he wanted to introduce his best friend to his new girlfriend—the historian who’d been researching the Somalia op.
Nothing had prepared Josh for walking into that bar in Adams Morgan and seeing Keith with his Navy Yard crush. And the two were obviously crazy in love.
He and Trina had become genuine friends after that, and she lived up to the person he’d created in his mind as he’d admired her from afar, which had left him wondering what would have happened if he’d sent a different reply to Trina’s initial email. What if he had met her first?
He was happy for his best friend. Happy for them both. But that lingering question had haunted him.
Now, with the clarity of meeting Maddie, he figured he could guess what would have happened: absolutely nothing. Trina was an infatuation made deeper by being totally off-limits. There’d never been a spark between them, not like the pure chemical combustion he felt with Maddie.
He’d wasted years hating himself and closing his mind and heart from others because of that strange twist of fate that had gotten in his head.
He had no doubt it was all wrapped in with his abusive father and skewed sense of self-worth. Before he’d even joined the Navy, he’d convinced himself he’d never have a relationship without repeating his father’s and brother’s patterns, so later, when he decided maybe it was time to attempt a real relationship, he fixated on a woman he couldn’t have.
He’d seen a therapist a few times over the years—the Navy had provided therapists who specialized in special forces operators, and Raptor required it for all employees who worked as trainers—but he’d kept his focus on his military and training work, never delving into his childhood. Now he would make a commitment to not just go to sessions with Ava, but he’d do private sessions to work through his own crap. He’d be no good to Ava—or Maddie—if he didn’t prioritize his mental health in the same way he did the physical.
In a way, he supposed that was what Maddie had urged him to do when she told him to take time for himself. Maybe she sensed he’d been nearing his limit between Ava, Owen, Chase, starting up a new office, and taking on the volunteer trainings.
He huffed out a breath and picked up his new phone from the dresser top. He’d already configured the device and transferred his data. It only took a moment to find Ava’s therapist’s email address. Before he could think twice about it, he sent a message requesting an appointment for him alone before meeting for a joint session with Ava.
His hand shook as he set the phone down. Okay, so talking to a therapist about his family scared him. Good to know.
C’mon, man. You used to raid terrorist strongholds.
But back then, the people he’d cared about most had been raiding the stronghold with him.
He picked up Maddie’s new cell phone. Time to face an even bigger fear.
They were almost to the no-man’s-land scene in Wonder Woman when there was a knock on Maddie’s door.
Ava groaned. “It should be a crime to interrupt this movie now.”
Maddie hit the Pause button on the computer. “Agreed. If my brother gets elected, we can ask him to sponsor a bill.” She rose from the bed and crossed to the door. She rose on her tiptoes to look through the peephole and spotted Josh.
A new kind of warmth swept through her. The hours spent with Ava had dispelled her hurt more than she’d realized. She understood his protectiveness now, even more than she had before.
She flipped the dead bolt and opened the door.
He looked uncertain. It was sweet, really, the
nervousness this big, achingly handsome man showed. “Um, if this is a bad time, I can come back.”
“You almost ruined the no-man’s-land scene,” Ava called out.
His brow furrowed. “You’ve watched Wonder Woman at least a half dozen times in the last two months. How could I ruin it?”
“Maddie promised me she cries every time she watches it, and I wanted to see that. But we had to pause right before the scene. The buildup is gone.”
“You cry every time?” Josh asked.
“You don’t?” She crossed her arms and gave him a teasing smile. “But then, of course you don’t. You’ve always been represented in superhero movies like that. I mean, you were an actual SEAL. They make movies about guys like you all the time.”
He held up his hands, and his eyes got big, like a deer in the headlights. “I didn’t mean—”
She laughed. “Relax. You ever see a grown woman cry while watching an action adventure movie?”
“Come to think of it, no.”
She nodded toward the bed. “Scoot over, Ava. Make room for your uncle.”
Ava shifted to the middle, and Maddie took her spot beside her. “You’ll have to rewind, or I’ll never get in the right mood. Maybe all the way back to the bar scene.”
Josh settled on the bed on the other side of Ava and gave her a quizzical look over his niece’s head.
Maddie just smiled.
“I’ve never watched this with a woman before,” Ava said. “It’s different, having someone to talk to about how it makes you feel. As a woman. I mean.”
To Josh, Maddie said, “We haven’t been watching so much as analyzing—we’ve both seen it too many times to need to watch closely. Except for the no-man’s-land scene. When it starts, you aren’t allowed to speak until it’s over.”
“Any more rules I need to know?”
“No nitpicking or disparaging anything.”
“I would never,” Josh said in mock outrage. “I mean…it’s Gal Gadot.”
“Right?” she and Ava said in unison.
Josh’s eyes widened. “You guys aren’t punking me, are you?”
She and Ava shared a look, then they both shrugged, which made Ava giggle. Maddie bit her lip to contain her smile. They still had a long road ahead, but at least they were driving in the same car.
Ava hit Play on the computer, which she held on her lap, requiring Maddie and Josh to squeeze in to see the screen.
As they settled in, he draped an arm over the pillow behind Ava, his hand resting free on the thick pillow next to Maddie’s shoulder.
When they reached the trench scene—where they’d been before Josh’s interruption—she pressed back into the pillows, bracing herself for both the tears and for letting others see her cry. Right on cue, she felt the pressure in her chest as Diana Prince climbed from the trench.
It was silly, but this moment meant so much to her. The strength and power and beauty of it.
She scooted back on the bed, and bumped into Josh’s fingers. He jerked away in response, and she reached up, grasping his hand to let him know it was okay. She gave his fingers a light squeeze, then relaxed her grip but left her hand wrapped in his.
They sat there together on her bed, watching a movie while holding hands, with Ava snuggled between them.
28
The tension in Maddie’s chest and shoulders had ratcheted up with each mile of the drive to the Kocher Mansion. Now that they were in the horseshoe driveway and she stared up at the gothic monstrosity, she was almost paralyzed by it.
“I usually like this architecture style,” Chase said. “But knowing there’s a crypt underneath with stolen human remains gives this house an ominous look. Like it belongs in a horror movie or something.”
“It’s even worse on the inside.”
She rolled her shoulders. Time to get this over with. She grabbed her bag and opened the SUV door. Raptor had a thing for big, beefy SUVs, even when it was a rental, and once again, she had to jump down to exit the vehicle. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible shoes, because she landed wrong and stumbled.
She huffed out a breath. She was rattled, and she wasn’t even facing Troy yet.
Troy, who had unknowingly changed the path of the last weeks of her life by creeping her out on the first day, which led to her calling Trina.
A warm glow settled in her chest at the thought of this afternoon with Ava and of the quiet ease with which Josh had joined them. Things weren’t settled, but they were on the right track, and she used that feeling to bolster her so she could face Troy.
“You okay?” Chase asked.
“Fine. Just short and clumsy.”
The front door to the mansion opened, and there was Troy. He hadn’t been happy with her request for a meeting after her no-show yesterday, but then, he wouldn’t have been happy either way. “You’re all over the news,” he said, and the prick had the nerve to smirk.
She ignored him as she climbed the front steps to the wide wraparound porch. It really was a beautiful house. Too bad it was hopelessly tainted.
“Who’s the new guy?” Troy asked, nodding toward Chase. “Did you dump that dick Warner already?”
She debated whether or not she needed to provide an answer. Given that she was entering his private residence, she was probably contractually obligated to name the person who accompanied her. “Troy Kocher, this is Chase Johnston, my bodyguard.”
Neither man offered the other a handshake.
Maddie reached the threshold, and Troy moved to constrict her so she’d have to squeeze by him.
“Step back from the lady,” Chase said, his voice hard and cold.
“Lady? She’s a Christian girl who’s fucking a Jew. She’s trash.”
Faster than lightning, Chase had the bigger man in a tight hold, Troy’s face pressed to the door panel and his arm wrenched behind his back.
“You can’t do this,” Troy said, his voice cracking with pain as Chase torqued his arm. “This is my house.”
“I can do whatever I want if I think Maddie is threatened. Did you miss the part where I’m her bodyguard?”
“I didn’t threaten her.”
“I didn’t like your tone. Or your words.” His voice went really low. “After what Maddie’s been through, the cops will believe me over you, especially given that there are photos of you with her abductor for all the world to see.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with that! Hell, for all we know, she made it up.”
Chase wrenched Troy’s arm higher. “Let me tell you something, Troy.” The name sounded ominous the way Chase said it. “I might look like a nice guy, but deep down, I’ve got a shit ton of rage, and I’ve been looking for an excuse to let it all out. So don’t fuck with me.”
He released Troy and stepped back. Without missing a beat, he turned to Maddie. “Which way to the crypt?”
Maddie had seen him in action in the gym and knew he was fast and formidable, but even then, the sparring had been friendly, with no intent to hurt. His boyish face did make him look like a nice guy. But all traces of that were gone now. This was a different man altogether, and he was powerful. And he hadn’t been kidding about the banked anger.
She felt like she’d just glimpsed Bruce Banner’s inner Hulk, and she was so very grateful to have both versions of Chase as her bodyguard right now.
She smiled, said, “This way,” then led him to the interior crypt entrance.
Troy followed, but unlike before, he did not ride her or Chase’s heels down the narrow staircase, and he even gave her room to breathe once they were in the crypt.
Maddie went straight to vault 138 and opened the iron door and removed the box that contained the contents. She set it on the work table, donned her gloves, and then laid out the bones as she’d done weeks ago.
“You already did that. Why are you looking at this one again?” Troy asked.
She ignored him. It went against her natural instinct to be rude like that, but Troy had los
t his right to respectful treatment even before his anti-Semitic words today.
“Is something wrong with those bones?” Troy asked.
She continued to ignore him. She flipped on the switch for the light on the large magnifying glass, picked up the left clavicle from the bones, and studied it under the bright light of the magnifying glass.
There were a few tests she was allowed to run, and pollen analysis fell within that category. If she could get a sample, maybe she’d get an idea of what the reddish staining was.
The clavicle didn’t provide any soil, but she had many bones to go over—cranium, long bones, pelvis, scapulae, a few ribs, and a half dozen vertebrae. She frowned looking at the right ulna. If she remembered correctly, it had been in two pieces when she documented this skeleton weeks ago. She pulled up her notes on her phone and searched on the burial number.
As expected, the right ulna had been broken with both parts present. She lifted her gaze and turned to Troy. “What happened to the distal end of the right ulna?”
Troy’s jaw clamped tight and his nostrils flared, and she’d bet he was trying to decide if he could get away with a lie.
“This skeleton is missing part of a bone. That will go in my report, and I will go through all two hundred and thirty vaults again to see if other bones are missing. If it’s determined that you knowingly destroyed or withheld remains after they were inventoried, we’ll have documentation of your violation of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, and restitution will be required. These remains do not belong to you.”
“No. They belong to Shields now. He took it,” Troy said.
Shock rippled through her. “What? Why would he do that?”
“He did his own inventory of all the remains, to make sure you do it right.”
“Oliver Shields lacks the expertise to conduct a NAGPRA inventory. And his conflict of interest means he cannot double-check my work.” This would only harm the curator in the long run. What was his agenda here?
Troy shrugged. “I don’t care. He wanted to look, so I let him. Like you, he thought that skeleton was weird. He took the bone because he wanted to run a DNA test.”
