Amara affected a laugh she didn’t feel. “Ah. Well, the name is from Nigeria, Africa, if I remember correctly. It means a woman full of grace and kindness who shows mercy.”
“And is that who you are, my dear?” The slimy way he asked the question, his thoughts crude and his tone insinuating, caused Amara to shudder with distaste. His voice was familiar.
“I would strive to be that person, but a little sizzle and bite when necessary is never a bad thing, I think. And to those who would hurt others, I would hope to show no mercy.” Unbidden, the memory of nipping Finn during sex flooded her mind. She was reassured by the memory.
Massey laughed, but it was a pretentious, fake effort. The shudder it produced was felt deep in her bones. There was something about that laugh. She felt nauseous.
“You are delightful. Maybe I will steal you away from all of this doldrum and these unadventurous men and capture you for myself.”
She stiffened. Capture. The memory was pounding to be let out, but the door remained firmly shut. Slowly releasing her breath, she spoke boldly because her curiosity was running rampant with questions she had for him. She couldn’t ask most of them but this one she could. “Where is your Amara? The woman you spoke of?”
He shrugged as if it meant nothing and based on what she detected in him tonight, the woman probably was nothing to him. “She died in a tragic accident at a training center I oversaw. She was trouble anyway but there was an explosion and I heard she died in it.” Words, no emotion, no remorse for the lost life.
“I’m so sorry. Was it recent?”
“It was a while ago. Having never met the woman personally, just knowing her through reports of her actions, it was probably a blessing she died. She would not have likely survived long with her risky behaviors.”
Amara had nothing to say. Something was extremely familiar about his description of the person and events, but she couldn’t grasp it. It could have almost been her. Suddenly she was sad she wouldn’t be able to meet this feisty woman who had shared her name. Thankfully, he was tired of the subject, or his curiosity had been appeased. Without excusing himself, as though she didn’t rate a proper closure of their interaction, he wandered off to another group to join their conversation.
Amara took the time to check on the women from the wing. She verified the two security holograms at the entrance to the long hallway were still there. She watched by video and checked each locked security door to the wing. She knew how hearing the locks engage gave another measure of peace and contributed to the women’s sense of safety. She locked her door for the same reason. She looked into each bedroom and all the other enclosures in the wing, watching the women enter their rooms before Amara turned away from the monitor.
“That’s an enormous amount of security.”
Amara turned to greet a committee member. “Yes, it is. Jenna, right?”
The woman nodded with a smile.
She is impressed I remembered her. A little self-conscious but a delightful woman with intelligence and compassion. She will back Wilder if necessary. “Yes, Finn is a stickler. It’s reassuring but sometimes a bigger nuisance.”
“It must be nice to have such talented men to take to your bed.”
Amara stared without answering. She didn’t know how to respond. This woman was attracted to her men and while that was normal, Amara didn’t like that she was in her home and feeling that attraction. Reassuring herself that her men only had eyes for her, she relaxed.
“Don’t worry. It’s half way through the twenty-first century. Women have sexual freedom.”
Amara nodded but couldn’t help but think about the short timeline on that fact if things didn’t change. “Yes, I’m learning so much from living with them.” Amara’s face immediately heated. “I mean, they’re good teachers.” No that wasn’t it. “I mean…”
“Don’t worry, it was just a question. You don’t have to answer it. Airing my curiosity.”
“Oh, right. Well, it’s probably best I keep our private lives private.” Amara saw both Ethan and Wilder look in her direction. Jenna saw it too. Amara sensed Finn before he slid his arm around her waist, pulling her in for a quick kiss.
Jenna smiled knowingly. “Yes, I bet it’s great fun around here.” She turned away from the two and after making a quick perusal of the room, excused herself.
“How’re you doing, baby?”
“Better than expected. My empathic self is exhausted though.”
“Well, people are leaving. Maya and her gang are leaving, too. Best go say goodbye.”
“I will. She’s going to have her babies tomorrow.”
“How do you… Nope, never mind. That’s exciting news for them.”
“Maya asked me to be there, and I agreed.”
Finn nodded. “That should be fine. I have security upgrades that I put off for the Compound. We can make it work for us. Wilder has discharges and Center work tomorrow. Ethan is seeing clients and later in the day, he has some things on the docket for Ambrose.”
“Then I’ll tell her it’s a go.”
Maya and Amara said goodbye. Maya whispered in Amara’s ear. “Don’t forget.”
“I won’t. I have to bring Finn though. Sorry.”
“He will be welcomed. Especially if he is enhancing the security system. My men have become excessively worried about it.”
“I bet. We’ll see you tomorrow. Call when you need me.”
Another hug and her hugely rounded friend with husbands in tow, were gone. Others quickly followed, and soon the room was full of nothing more than debris from the party, Amara and her men. She was glad that Finn had recorded the evening because she was on overload. Seeing the faces and scene play out as an observer would help her recall her impressions easier and put them in perspective. Finn initiated his nightly routine, double checking the security.
Finn spoke. “Charlotte, are there trespassers or guests left in the dome or on the property?”
“Negative.”
“Night surveillance initiated. Lock down sequence initiated.”
“Initiated, Finn.”
Wilder turned off the room’s monitor. “Secure the women’s wing.”
“Secured.”
“Goodnight, Charlotte.”
“Goodnight, Finn.”
The men were having a night cap. Amara could feel herself falling asleep, head on Ethan’s lap. She couldn’t stay awake. They would work out what had been learned tomorrow. Tonight she was safe, but for how long?
Chapter 16
Finn
Finn didn’t like that they weren’t reviewing the tape together this morning. Time was of the essence. He understood that Ethan had therapy to get through and they were discharging another woman today. Wilder had to make sure all his exit paperwork was done and had already been to the Center in the wee hours of the morning to send a woman to the hospital. He’d refused admission of a very abused woman who appeared for protection. After hearing the woman’s story, he set guards on her hospital room and arranged for her to be sent to another center in another region when cleared by the hospital for her own safety.
All the work this morning had left Wilder ready for a few hours of sleep before tackling the discharge of one of their house residents. Both things took precedence over a review of the recording of the previous evening. Wilder’s next meeting was tomorrow. They had a short amount of time to put their final game plan together in hopes of putting an end to the over zealousness of the project. To top it off, something bothered him about the way he’d caught Massey watching Amara last night.
She was beautiful and drawing a man’s eye wasn’t the thing that nagged at him. It was the way that Massey observed her all evening. Once he met her, he seemed extremely interested in her every move. He was often part of the group of people closest to Amara without joining her. Last night, Finn hadn’t noticed as much but in reviewing the tape on his own, it was obvious that Massey watched her at dinner, speaking to her only briefly, but keeping tr
ack of her movements. The other women received less than a glance. So what was it about Amara that drew him? Finn felt sure it wasn’t her charm as she tried to ignore him.
This morning, he and Amara were at the Compound. While Amara, Maya, and her husbands delivered twins, he worked on the security system upgrades. He wondered what it would be like to have Amara round with their child. Life would be a new level of chaos after children came. A good kind of crazy though. He wanted children, knew they all did, and having them with Amara wasn’t scary.
Karen, their ex, had been difficult to nail down on the possibility of children. Later he discovered why but as of yet, none of Karen’s issues had emerged with Amara. Their girl wasn’t anything like Karen. While he would have said the previous woman had been perfect for them if she’d stayed, he couldn’t imagine a life without Amara. That was the difference. With Karen there was always something that said he would survive her leaving. He couldn’t say the same about Amara.
“Hey.”
His woman’s scent surrounded him as she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. He was glad he was working at the Compound’s control desk. It was so damn good to feel her come to him, initiate affection. He turned and kissed her slow and deep, his chair height being perfect to bring her close.
“We’ll be another hour, I think. Or rather, Sterling thinks. Maya believes it will be less time and told me I could check in with you but to hurry.” She looked over at the monitors on the desk. “Going over the recording of last night?”
“About to go over it again, but I’d rather be doing this.” He kissed her again.
“Mmm, me too, but I’m honored Maya is allowing me to see this. I’ve never seen anyone give birth in real life before.”
Finn leaned back and patted her bottom. “Okay, then I guess you’d better go before the main attraction starts without you.”
“Right.” She leaned in for one last quick peck. Finn watched Amara flit from the room with a smile on his face as he rearranged his male package. They had to get this Ambrose thing finished fast.
Reaching over to restart the recording, he settled in to look for anything that Wilder could use tomorrow.
After having rolled through the time before Massey arrived and segments where Amara wasn’t speaking to anyone of interest, Finn had finally segregated all the parts he wanted to go over with the others.
“Time for a cup of coffee and some air,” he said to no one in particular.
The recording was a good one, and he knew he had noticed Massey spending an inordinate amount of attention following Amara. Now he had the proof. It was obvious he treated the other invited women with disdain, but it was interesting how he responded to Maya. Massey took Maya’s hand and looked at her for a couple of seconds before carefully releasing it. He took a step back. It was as though he was unsure about Maya. Almost a little afraid of the reality of her.
There was a wariness that Finn couldn’t quantify except that Maya’s presence caused Massey to withhold his disparaging treatment. He was sure it wasn’t only the fact that her men were close at hand. No, it was more likely that he sensed something more powerful than him. Or at least trouble. He wished that was why he was interested in Amara but after the conversation he had with her last night, Finn was sure Massey wanted or wondered something else entirely.
Finn was just returning to the kitchen from admiring the garden when Amara burst into the room, her eyes sparkling. “We have to do that.”
He grinned. “What exactly do we have to do?”
“The baby thing. We have to have a baby. Not twins though. That’s a lot of work. But one would be nice.”
“What if we want more than one?” Finn asked as he pulled his girl to him, more in love and more afraid of what could lie ahead than ever before.
“More? Well, how about we start with one, when we’re ready, and go from there?”
Finn laughed and dropped a kiss on top of her head as he hugged her tight. “Fine, I agree to one at a time.”
“No, wait, that isn’t what I said,” Amara teased.
“It’s what I heard.” He stepped out of her reach when she lifted her hand. “What did I say about hitting?” His tone was half teasing, half serious.
“Nothing. You said no biting.”
“Oh, well in that case…” His hand landed a stingy swat to her bottom.
“Wait, wait, now I remember. Yes, I was mistaken, you did say no hitting.”
He swatted her again, the laughter exploding on his face. “Now you’re telling whoppers. I remember you were distinctively told that I do the swatting, not you.”
“No, I won’t. I promise. Darn, now I’m confused. I’m on a baby high and not responsible for my actions. We need to go home.”
“Yes, and I need to go home and take care of your baby high.” Finn turned to the footsteps he heard entering the kitchen. “Congratulations, Zander. I hear your family additions are amazing.”
Zander shook Finn’s proffered hand. “Absolutely perfect. You ought to try it. And this lady here was amazing as well. Maya loved having her. We all did.”
“Give the others our congratulations from the House, but we need to get out of your hair. I’ve finished the upgrade, rebooted, and it’s running well according to the diagnostics. She’s all yours again.”
“Thanks. I’m the most tech savvy around here but that doesn’t mean it’s my field or even my forte. Appreciate the help.”
“No problem. Okay, we’re out. Talk soon.”
Zander hugged Amara and clapped Finn on the shoulder. “I should head back to Maya. I can’t believe we went from four to six in a few moments. Fucking amazing.”
Amara was quiet on the way home and Finn thought to let her settle her excited thinking before they would review the recording. “How about we put off things until dinner? We can eat early and then I’ll get the recording cued up and we can review the parts I’ve highlighted.”
When she didn’t answer, he said, “Amara? Baby are you okay?” She continued to look out the window in her own little world. He reached over to shake her thigh gently. “Hey, you okay?”
She gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I was thinking. What did you say?”
“It doesn’t matter.” His hand caressed her thigh. “Care to talk about it?”
“No, I mean, I was just wondering if we’ll ever be a family like Maya and her husbands.”
He nodded his understanding. “Because of the cloud we’re travelling under right now. We worry if we change the future in the way we’re headed, we could lose you, lose us.”
She nodded her voice quiet. “Everything might be undone.”
“I know.” Finn was silent for a moment. “Even if we don’t eliminate your existence, the circumstances of your appearance might change, and we would never see you again. We’d lose you and I don’t know if I can survive that loss.”
“We could survive it, but it wouldn’t be easy. Especially if all the circumstances changed, then I wouldn’t have been in the cave at that time. I wouldn’t have come here, been with you all.” She turned with tears in her eyes. “I’m not sure I can do it.”
“Come here.”
She leaned in and Finn cuddled her the best he could. The couple stayed that way until they drove into the entrance at home. Parking, he pulled his work bag from the back and helped Amara scoot out on the driver’s side.
“I know that it’s hard to think about the outcome if it isn’t what we want, but we will make it work.”
“I don’t know how.”
“I don’t know either, honey, but let’s see what Wilder comes up with. Right now, we’ll concentrate on the things we learned last night and find a way to make it work.”
“I won’t ask you to promise me because I know you can’t,” said Amara.
“No, I can’t.”
Amara
She sensed the apprehension all around her. The guys were worried about what they would see and how she would react. They didn�
��t need to worry. Ethan had not had another session with her to undo some of her blocked memories. The men had evidently agreed that any work in that department would be done after the meetings were over. She had agreed only after Ethan gave her the I’m-the-boss speech and she’d almost fallen into a panic attack. She still shivered as she recalled his tone, the result of her lack of submission, which was embarrassingly arousing.
“I’m ready to remove the blocks to my memory, Ethan.”
“I’m not. I want you to get some nights without dreams jolting you awake. We will get to it when the committee’s biggest work is done and the likelihood of Massey returning is almost nil.”
“I can handle it. Let’s do it before we look at Finn’s recording.”
His voice deepened to unbelievable depths. “It isn’t a question of your ability to handle your memories, it is my choice not to subject you to more stress by reliving trauma until we can focus solely on it and how to control the flashbacks better.”
“Just reverse what you did. I don’t care about the rest. I’ve dealt with it so far.”
“You’ve not dealt as well as you think. You’ve suffered through the horrible nightmares, had several devastating flashbacks. You’ve less anxiety this way. I will not unlock anything until it is all we have to deal with. That’s not today or this week. Hell, it might not be this month or this year.”
“I’m not your patient. You can’t dictate to me the plan. I decide. Not you.”
Ethan had had enough, and she knew it but something inside needed this face off. She needed the anger, the yelling, the defiance. She needed to control something or be shut down hard. She knew before she pushed that it would be the latter.
Ethan was the unchallenged ruler in his office because it was his practice and because he needed to be. He was the head of his home because he didn’t challenge the other two and they didn’t care. They took care of themselves and their own lives but understood that there must be one leader when necessary even if he never had to wield his scepter. And Ethan had dominion over her relationship with him because he demanded it.
Captured Desire Page 19
