He shouldn't have let Todd leave. He should have made him stay, made him talk. But he hadn't. As the guilt swelled within him, the bells began to clang. He put his hands over his ears as the torturous sounds began to scream. His breath came too fast. His heart pounded against his chest and the pain in his head was almost debilitating.
The rushing river turned into a terrifying, horrifying symphony of clanging noises that didn't go together, like instruments hitting the wrong notes, nails on a chalkboard, every awful sound, ending always with a clanging bell.
The bells had been haunting him for months, stealing a bit more of his sanity with every awful sound.
"Stop," he yelled. "Just stop, dammit."
"Okay, I'll stop," a voice said.
It took him a second to realize the voice wasn't inside his head. The bells slowly receded as he stared into Savannah's worried face. Her eyes were so clear, a beautiful light-green with gold flecks that seemed bright in the gathering darkness. Those eyes had haunted him, too, for a very long time.
"Ryker?" she queried, as she came closer. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine."
She didn't believe him, but he couldn't change that. He didn't know what he'd said, what she'd heard, but there was worry in her eyes. But her worry shouldn't be for him. "Has anyone found Todd?" he asked.
"Not yet."
"He wasn't in the car."
Her expression turned grim. "I heard that. The police, search and rescue, the fire department…everyone is searching for Todd. They'll find him. Hopefully, before he hits the rapids. They start about three miles downstream."
"Not that far," he said with fear.
"He's a strong guy. He can fight the current. You did."
"It was getting rough. And if he was injured…he could have become disoriented. He could have gotten trapped in the rocks, the trees."
"No one is giving up hope."
He wished he could say the same. In the past, he'd never been one to give up hope. He'd never looked at any problem as insurmountable, but that was before his team had been wiped out, and he'd almost died.
"Can I give you a ride back to your car?" she asked.
"What are you doing down here anyway? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."
"The police are busy looking for Todd. But they were worried when you didn't get out of the water. I told them I'd look for you. I almost didn't see you down here. I was afraid…" Her voice trailed off. "Anyway, it's getting dark. I have your shoes and your suit jacket in the car. We should go."
"Okay," he said, becoming aware of the cold seeping into his bones.
As they walked down the bank, she said, "Did you notice if the airbags were deployed in Todd's car?"
"They were."
"Any sign of blood or clothing torn on the door?"
"Not that I could see. Do you have more information on what happened?"
"There were skid marks coming down the end of the church driveway but nothing directly in front of the guardrail."
"He tried to stop, but then he didn't?"
"It was an odd pattern," she admitted. "I don't know if there was another vehicle that he might have swerved to avoid. He could have accelerated and then overshot the turn. I'm just speculating. The accident investigation will go through every possible scenario. Or Todd will tell us what happened when he's found."
"I heard him crash through the rail. You heard that, too, didn't you?" He hated that he couldn't trust his own brain.
"Yes. I heard the brakes and the crash."
"Who's running the operation?"
"Chief Ed Tanner. I spoke to him at the crash site. He's a former Marine. He'll do a thorough investigation. He'll want to get answers for a fellow soldier."
"He won't be alone. I'm not leaving Dobbs until I know what happened, or until we find Todd." He blew out a breath. "I shouldn't have let him leave the church. He was shredded by guilt over what happened to Paul."
"Abby told me that Todd was feeling that way, but she doesn't blame him. She said Paul was out of control. I didn't realize things were so bad. I haven't been the best friend to Abby."
"If you're going to feel guilty, you'll be in a long line."
"You, too?"
"Yes."
She nodded. "Well, you might not have stopped Todd from leaving, but you did jump into the river trying to save him. That's something."
"Too little too late."
"Well, if you're staying in town, you should come to Abby's house. She was headed there when I left. Chief Tanner said he'd come by her place with an update as soon as he has one. A lot of the people from the funeral will be waiting there as well."
The last thing he wanted to do was face Abby, who probably harbored as much anger and resentment toward him as Todd had expressed. But he wasn't leaving town until Todd was found, so it was her house or the police station. "All right."
As he followed Savannah up the rocky and somewhat steep hillside to the road, he felt pain in his knee, and had a feeling the rocks had done a little more damage. But he didn't regret going into the water. Todd would have done the same for him. They'd always had each other's backs.
Savannah scampered up the hill with an ease he envied and then gave him a thoughtful look as she waited by her car. "Are you hurt, Ryker?"
"Old wounds."
"Not so old. There's blood on your pants."
He glanced down at his knee, realizing for the first time that his slacks were ripped. "I didn't notice, but I hit the rocks a few times."
"Even more reason to get you to Abby's house. She'll have a first aid kit."
"It's nothing."
She opened the passenger-side door and handed him his shoes. He put them on as she walked around the car to get behind the wheel.
"I'm going to get the seat wet," he said, as he slid his arms into his coat, grateful for the warmth.
"It will dry. Don't worry about it." She started the car. "I was impressed with how fast you jumped into that beast of a river. You didn't hesitate for one second."
"I wasn't trained to hesitate."
"Do you miss the army?" she asked, as she drove down the road.
"I miss a lot of things. The army is only one of them." He paused, glancing over at her. "I can't believe you were a soldier when I met you."
"I was actually deciding what I wanted to do that night—stay in or get out. The next morning, I knew the answer."
"It came to you while we were having sex? And here I thought I had all your attention."
"You did have my attention," she admitted, giving him a quick look. "The answer didn't come during the night. It was the next morning. When I left your room and went down to the lobby, I ran into the dance troupe, and I was thinking about how you'd thought I was one of them. I realized that I'd once again tried to be the person that someone else wanted me to be. I couldn't do it anymore. So, I quit."
"Who wanted you to be a soldier? Or can I guess? It was your father—Colonel Kane."
"I did become a soldier for him. I thought it would help us connect, but it didn't."
He wanted to keep talking to her about her past, but they were nearing the site where Todd's car had plunged into the river. There was yellow caution tape across the gap in the rail now, and a police officer was talking to an older couple on the side of the road.
"Can you pull over?" he asked. "I want to take another look."
"Sure." She pulled into a turnout near the driveway leading up to the church. Then they got out of the car and walked down the road. Not a single car passed them coming in either direction. It definitely wasn't a busy traffic area.
When they reached the spot where Todd's car had gone over the side, he looked for clues, but as Savannah had said earlier, there wasn't much to see. There were no skid marks near the crash site, and beyond the church on the hill, there was nothing on the two-lane road in either direction for at least a mile or two. Which meant there were no traffic cameras or security cameras of any kind that
might have been able to capture the accident.
The police officer came over to speak to them. He was a young, dark-haired guy, who didn't appear to be more than twenty-five, if that. "Hey, Savannah, you need to get back in your car," he told them. "The chief wants me to keep this area clear until we can complete our investigation. I know you're a big-time federal agent now, but Chief Tanner told me specifically not to let anyone hang out here, including you."
"I understand that, Ben," Savannah said. "This is Ryker Stone. He's a friend of Todd's—the man whose car went into the river. We're not going to touch anything. You don't mind if we just look, do you?"
"Well, I guess not," the officer said.
"What's the latest on the search efforts?" he asked.
"They'll look as long as they can, but rain is supposed to start within the half hour. The helicopter will probably have to land soon if the wind picks up."
Every word that came out of Ben's mouth made Ryker's stomach turn. "You can't call off the search," he protested, knowing that they could do just that and probably would.
"It's not my call. Chief Tanner will decide when to bring everyone in, but they'll go as long as they can. We all want to find Todd. I actually played a pickup basketball game with Todd and Paul a few weeks ago." Ben's lips drew into a tight line. "I can't believe Paul is dead, and now this…"
As Ben finished speaking, another police car pulled up, and an older, stocky man exited the vehicle, not looking at all happy.
"What's going on here?" he demanded. "Savannah, I told you to stay out of this. Dobbs is my town, and I run the investigation."
"Yes, you made that clear, Chief Tanner," she said evenly.
Ryker wasn't sure why the chief was so angry with Savannah, but his focus was on getting information, so he stepped in front of her and said, "I'm Ryker Stone. I went into the river after Todd. I found the car, but there was no one inside."
"Yes, yes, I saw you in the water. My officers yelled at you to get out, but you went right past them."
"I didn't hear them, and I got out as soon as I could. Has there been any sighting of Todd?"
"No. But we're doing everything we can. I'm Chief Ed Tanner. I'll do everything I can to bring this soldier home. However, the weather is turning, and with the winds picking up, we'll have to bring the chopper down. My office is setting up a volunteer search party for first light. We'll get as many bodies out as we can. You're welcome to join."
"Of course." He was just afraid that the morning would be too late.
"If there was another vehicle involved, one of the cameras in town might have picked it up coming down the road around the time of the accident," Savannah interjected. "I know you have a small department. I'd like to offer my resources."
"There's nothing to indicate there was another vehicle involved. It looks like Mr. Davis lost control of his vehicle on the hill and crashed into the river. Might have been faulty brakes or human error. Several witnesses told me he was extremely agitated at the funeral. We'll know more when we pull the car out, but that probably won't be until tomorrow. I told Abby I'd update her with any news. If you want to wait somewhere, wait there. I'm sure she could use your support."
"We're heading there now," Savannah said.
The chief tipped his head and then he and Officer Wickham stepped away to have a private conversation.
They walked back to Savannah's car in silence.
"Should we go to Abby's now?" Savannah asked, as they got into the vehicle.
"My rental car is in the church lot. I should get it."
"Okay." As Savannah drove him up the hill, he said, "I couldn't help noticing there was no love lost between you and the chief. Is that just him being territorial?"
"Partly. But he's also friends with my dad, and he thinks I'm a major screwup."
"Why would he think that?"
"He apparently can't forget I was a rebellious teenager. I wound up in his jail one night when I was sixteen."
"What happened?"
She pulled up next to his car, which was one of only three left in the lot. "It's a long story."
"So, give me the short version."
"You're not in a hurry to get to Abby's?"
"I don't think there's going to be any new information for a while, and I'm curious. How did you end up in jail?"
"Well, I was angry because I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. I got drunk with a girlfriend. We had just learned how to make tequila sunrises, and I was definitely seeing red. We walked down the street to get some ice cream, and I saw my boyfriend buying this other girl a double scoop of chocolate, and I went a little crazy. I hurled a rock at his car, but I missed. Unfortunately, the rock went right through the window of a patrol car that was just pulling into the lot, and it was driven by the chief. I was taken to jail, where I spent the night."
"Ouch. That was bad luck."
"All my luck was bad then."
"You stayed the whole night in jail? Your dad didn't bail you out?"
"I wasn't living with my father at the time; I was with my aunt and uncle."
"Why?"
"You have a lot of questions, Ryker."
"Because every time you open your mouth, I find out something new about you." He paused. "You said before your dad stopped being a father when you were thirteen. Care to elaborate?"
"That's when my mother died. My father was overseas at the time. He came back on emergency leave for a few days and during that time, he decided I should live with my aunt and uncle. I thought it would be temporary, but it turned out to be permanent. He was too busy to have a daughter. He thought I'd be better off with his sister's family."
"Was he wrong?"
She thought about that. "Not in every way. But I'd lost my mother, and it felt like my dad had abandoned me, too. I had to learn how to be part of someone else's family. I tried to fit in, because I thought if I didn't, they might throw me out, too."
"Was getting drunk and throwing rocks your idea of fitting in?" he asked dryly.
"That was years later. When I first moved in, I did everything I could to be what my aunt wanted me to be. I even agreed to the beauty pageants, because that's what my aunt and cousin loved to do. I was Miss Georgia when I was eighteen." She paused. "You may not have slept with a dancer, but you did sleep with a beauty queen. Feel better?"
"To be honest, I have no idea how I feel about you."
"Fair enough."
He slid out of the car and then looked back at her. "I want to hear more of the Savannah Kane story some time."
"I can't imagine why. I'm not the woman you slept with, Ryker. She's gone. She's never coming back."
Her words hit him in a much more profound way than she'd probably intended. "I'm not the man you slept with, either. He's also never coming back."
She stared back at him, conflicting emotions in her gaze. "I—I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing to say. I'll follow you to Abby's house."
"All right." She seemed relieved to move away from the very personal conversation they'd just gotten into, and he should be relieved as well. There was no going back. Getting to know Savannah was pointless. And he certainly didn't need her to get to know him, not now, not in the state he was in. As soon as Todd was found, he'd be on his way back to his boat, to his solo existence, to the quiet that kept him from going insane.
Chapter Four
Savannah's heart was beating way too fast, and it didn't just have to do with the horrifying events of the last few hours. Being with Ryker again was more than a little unnerving. She didn't know what to make of his renewed interest in her, but she did know that nothing would come of it. She certainly wasn't going to sleep with him again. She couldn't go back in time and recapture that moment, that incredible memory. It wouldn't be the same. It would only end in disappointment. She needed to keep her gaze on the horizon, to only look forward. That was where her future was. And that future didn't include another night with Ryker, even though she ha
d to admit he was as sexy and attractive as ever.
But there was another dimension to him now that she didn't quite understand. Maybe it had always been there, or perhaps it had come with the accident that had taken him out of the army, away from the job he loved. He walked and ran with a bit of a limp, but he'd jumped into the river with no thought to his safety, and he'd been strong enough to battle the currents for several miles. He obviously had some physical limitations, but she suspected the psychological wounds went deeper.
When she'd found him at the river, he'd shouted at her to stop. Only, she didn't think he'd been talking to her. He'd been lost in his head. He'd given her a tortured, haunted look that had shaken her to the core. The man she'd been with had been charming and fun, reckless and bold, with an infectious confidence. That night, he'd made her realize that the power was in her hands. She could change her life. She could be who she was and not who everyone else wanted her to be.
But that night was five years ago.
This night was only about Todd and Abby. She needed to keep her focus on the present.
Picking up her phone, she punched in a number. Flynn MacKenzie's voice came over the line a moment later. Flynn ran the special task force to which she was assigned. But he was more than her boss, he was also her friend. They'd met at Quantico five years ago when they were in training, and since then they'd been through a lot together. There were few people she trusted more than him.
"How's it going?" Flynn asked. "Is your friend all right?"
"She's hanging in there, but there's been a development. I'm not going to be back tomorrow."
"What's happened?"
"After the funeral, Paul's best friend ran his car off the road and into the river. He's now missing. I can't leave Abby with this going on. It's too much."
"Of course you can't leave. Is he alive?"
"I don't know. They found the car and he wasn’t in it, but the river is running high and fast. He's an ex-soldier. He's strong. He could survive, I think. I hope."
"I hope so, too. Take as much time as you need."
"Thanks. I might also need your help at some point. This is a small town, and the local cops don't have a lot of resources."
Critical Doubt Page 4
