“I’m sorry David, but while confessions are confidential, our conversation was just that: a conversation. I’m worried about you, and frankly, so should your parents.”
David wrapped his arms across his chest and looked everywhere but not at his mother. “I lied about college,” he blurted out, hoping the chaos of this confession would wash away what Father Joseph was actually digging at. Distraction was key.
She took such a deep breath it almost felt as if she were about to burst. “Lied about your... David, what do you mean? You gave us the folder about the scholarship and everything,” she said, but her voice turned into a shriek toward the end.
Dad massaged his mouth and shook his head, giving David a dark glare. “How dare you not tell us? You could have still had options available.”
“I’m so sorry, but I was scared what you would think. Now I have a job, and I’m moving forward. I’m setting new goals, and just think about all the debt I won’t have to take on.” His heart was racing, his palms got sweaty, and he desperately tried not to cry. How could a priest do this to him?
His mom’s eyes were already clouding with tears, and all he wanted was to just leave and not have to face her disappointment.
“What David’s trying to say is that he left his loving home in order to freely indulge in a homosexual lifestyle. With a biker at that,” said Father Joseph coolly, holding David’s gaze. “Makes me wonder if his older brother hasn’t had any hand in this.”
Mom shook, and she gave a sharp, choked sound as she clutched at her shirt. “David...”
David’s father looked at the priest with a frown as deep as the grooves being made in David’s heart. “This must be some misunderstanding, Father. David works for a homosexual, but he doesn’t indulge with him in that kind of lifestyle, do you, David?”
David’s teeth clattered from so much anxiety he thought he could faint at any moment. “I… I…”
There was a ghost of a smile on Father Joseph’s lips, just faint enough for no one else to notice. “David, please at least have the decency to be honest with your parents for once. They want to help you.”
Mom was already crying, seemingly not needing any confirmation from him.
“I’m gay, Mom,” David uttered, unable to think clearly in the face of such betrayal. His brain was a tangle, yet the truth crawled out of his lips on its own. It was like a weight off his chest, yet the relief came with the bitter taste of Mother’s tears. He’d failed her. “I tried to fight it, but—”
“There is no ‘buts’,” his father spoke up. “This is a choice you either make or you don’t. You don’t trip and fall into a man’s arms. Just like you don’t go around taking cocaine because it feels good. As if your academic results weren’t disappointment enough, you also hurt your mother like this?”
David rubbed his eyes, too crushed to speak. He wished Father Joseph into hell for doing this to him. It was so cruel. He bet Joseph, because that man didn’t deserve to be even thought about as ‘Father’ anymore, did it out of spite. Jealous that David found himself a man instead of taking a job as the gardener’s apprentice at the parish and eventually falling into Joseph’s bed.
Mom wheezed with a sob and shook her head, watching David with her pale eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us you have a problem? We can still help you… maybe it’s better you won’t go to college right away, but you will move back home tomorrow!”
“I don’t want to.” David took a deep breath. “I like my job, I like living with Hunter. And I’m… in love,” he choked out. “I don’t want to change any of that.”
“Hunter and his concubine aren’t good role models for you,” hissed Father, with a bulging vein forming in the middle of his forehead. “This is not up for discussion. I will personally go with you to help you move everything back home!”
Mom cried some more and rubbed the streaks of black-tinted tears off her cheeks. “Don’t ever say such things! Who is this man? I will tell him what I think of him debauching my son. I will inform the police about this!”
“I’m eighteen! I can sl— be with him if I choose to.” David was so done with this. He glanced down at his phone and quickly typed despite his father yelling.
“Are you out of your mind? We’re talking to you! Put down that phone right now. This is about your future!”
[I need to get out of here. Please come take me. Something terrible’s happened.] David wrote and added the address of the church. He looked up at his parents, dizzy as if he was going to drop to the ground any minute now. His knees felt soft, the massive church was encroaching on him from the side, and the sunshine made his skin burn.
“I’m not moving back.”
Joseph faked a frown of concern, and David knew just how dishonest it had to be after the priest had been so cruel to him just minutes ago. “You should reconsider, David. It could be what’s best for you. Sins can be forgiven, but if you actually allow that biker to fornicate with you, your health is at stake.”
David has never been more embarrassed in his life.
Father grabbed David’s arm and squeezed it hard, leaning toward him. “Listen to me, you brat. You might think you’re an adult now that you’re eighteen, but you’re far from that. You’re a confused little boy, who’s committing a mortal sin out of laziness. Is studying and therapy that we’d pay for too difficult to take on?”
Mother sniffed, but she was trying to put herself together as she closed her arms around David. “I’m so sorry I let you down. I should have noticed something was wrong with you, but I didn’t. Please, let me help you!”
But she couldn’t help him. If everything that Raja had been subjected to at the conversion camp couldn’t change him, it wouldn’t change David either. When David admitted to himself what he’d always tried to push away, it was as if his mangled Rubik’s cube of a brain finally put all the walls in solid color. Every little piece slotted into place.
“You can’t change this, Mom.” He fought the tears but they still dripped down his cheeks.
“That’s nonsense,” said Joseph and put his hand on David’s shoulder, burning him with the touch. “We could even provide counseling right here, if that’s what you want. It’s a common problem in boys his age.”
“Father Joseph, please, this can’t reach the ears of anyone else. No mother will want their daughter to marry someone who... used to meet up with men this way,” Mom said regretfully.
David became light-headed and strangely numb, as if all the yelling was coming from far away. Deep down, he knew his parents would never accept the way he was, yet being outed like this? By a priest? It put him in the middle of a frozen lake, with the ice cracking all around him. He couldn’t decide what to do fast enough. He would drown in this mess and never see the light of day again.
His phone buzzed silently, but he didn’t dare to pick up, afraid one of his parents could just snatch it away in the heat of the conversation, along with the endless text conversations he’d had with Raja since they met.
“It’s settled, David. Don’t try to argue with us about this. You’re still too young to make responsible decisions. We have years of experience, and we know what’s best for you,” hissed Father. “Now let’s go into the car. You’ve wasted enough of Father Joseph’s precious time.”
Joseph shook his head and raised his hand in a soft gesture. “Please, do not think this way, Mr. Stone. I’ve known David for a very long time, and just like all the young people in the parish, he is very close to my heart. It is my job to help him through this.”
David looked into his eyes despite his vision getting blurry from crying. “So dear to your heart in fact, you tried to make a move on me! Seriously! Some priest,” he hissed and the last words came out choked.
Father grabbed at David’s collar and shook him. “Enough of this! I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”
Mother sobbed loudly. “How can you say such things? Father Joseph has been nothing but kind to you, and you’re accusing him of
harassment out of spite? It’s like I don’t know you anymore!”
Joseph hadn’t lowered his gaze as he spoke, as calmly as he did before. “I’m afraid David is far gone if he mistook my concern for advances. It’s more serious than I thought.”
David barely swallowed a gulp of air and turned away from Joseph. The evil incarnate wasn’t worth his time. “Maybe you don’t really know me, Mom. Maybe you just know what you would like me to be. But I’m not good at maths, I don’t like to play the piano, and I don’t like girls. And I always ate those cauliflower pancakes you make because I didn’t want to upset you, but I really hate them!”
Mom stepped back, and as soon as David sensed a whiff of freedom coming his way, he rushed along the church, toward the parking lot. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. His own family turned against him. Was this how Hunter felt when he’d been given a similar ultimatum? There was an alien force pushing at his ribs from the inside and struggling to get free.
Three pairs of legs were pursuing him, but he only sped up, not wanting to be trapped again where no one could see him. Raja wouldn’t know where to look for him if he wasn’t visible from the road.
“David, go to the car right now!” shouted Father, but David’s eyes were focused on a bench standing on an island of grass between the parking lot and the road. He looked around the cars that still remained there, but he couldn't spot the familiar motorcycle. Was Raja even coming for him? What if he didn’t care enough to take time out of his schedule for this?
David looked down at his phone, and his heart melted when he saw Raja’s response.
[Wait somewhere where I can see you.]
He pushed the phone back into his pocket and backed off closer to the parking lot where more people could see him, and his parents would be less inclined to make a scene.
“I said, I’m not going with you!”
“You can’t just leave, I’m still your father.”
Mom stood on David’s right and made a gesture as if she wanted to touch him but didn’t in the end. “Please, David. This man will hurt you, and you will end up diseased and alone!”
David sobbed, unable to speak. Maybe Raja wasn’t exactly a ‘nice’ person, but he was only human. And he cared for David in his own way.
The sound of a motorcycle engine made David’s whole body buzz. The conversation around him became muted as he looked up and saw the Harley painted in black and white flames, with Raja approaching like a modern-day Prince Charming, who came here to save David from the three dragons.
His parents must have seen the change in his behavior, as they both stiffened, watching Raja pull into the parking lot in his cut and the faded blue jeans that made him look like the sexiest man David ever saw. He pulled off his goggles, revealing the one face David could stare at for ages.
He made a turn around the grassy island and stopped right next to it. He got up, but didn’t even pull off his black half-helmet as he stepped closer to David, not deterred by the three people behind him. “You ready to go?”
David nodded and stepped forward but his father grabbed his arm.
“You have got be kidding me! You’re not going anywhere with him. And you”—Father pointed his finger at Raja—“you better leave my son alone right now!”
David had never seen his father this angry and expressive. It had to be the gay aspect of this terrible situation that pushed him over the edge.
“No,” said Raja and reached out for David’s hand. His confidence was blowing David’s mind, so he could only imagine how out of depth his parents and Joseph felt when confronted with it.
Just as David squeezed Raja’s hand, enchanted by the handsome face and strong grasp, Mom pulled him back as if he were about to crash, and she was the safety belt. “You’re going nowhere with this man! It’s not enough for you to just be gay? You’re leaving the church for a Muslim?”
Raja’s eyebrows shot up, and for the first time he seemed thrown off guard. “Lady, I’m unaffiliated. Let go of him.”
David could hardly believe his mother would say such things or even make assumptions about Raja’s faith based on his looks “He’s not Muslim, Mom! And even if he were, that’s not relevant. I’m going!” His mother’s grip was surprisingly hard, and a button popped off the front of David’s shirt from the strain on the fabric.
“This can’t be true! This is a nightmare!” she cried. “I know what’s happening now. He brainwashed you, recruited you to his cause. David, you just need to turn to Jesus again.”
David snarled. “When I tried to turn to Jesus about this, Joseph put his hands on me!”
Raja looked into David’s eyes, with a deep groove between his eyebrows. “Is that the priest you told me about?”
David was taken off guard by the question, but gave a quick nod. “He even told me to leave you today! Outed me to my parents! It’s so wrong!” He couldn’t stop sobbing and was a trembling mess when his mother pulled him closer again.
“And he did the right thing!” Father yelled. “To think that we’d live on, kept in the dark about your condition!”
Raja let go of David, but before David could protest, time sped up. Joseph stepped back, and Raja followed him with his fist, knocking the priest to the grass with a punch that made David cringe despite his disgust for Joseph.
Raja looked at David’s father, who retreated, pulling his hands close to his chest, in a protective gesture. “If you have any more sons, I’d keep them away from this priest. His dick ain’t any better than mine.”
“Who do you think you are?” Mother yelled and let go of David to kneel next to Joseph. “Father, are you all right? Should I call the police? An ambulance?”
David took the opportunity to step back and only now realized that with Raja next to him, he could breathe again.
Raja didn’t seem to care about the chaos he’d unleashed and just walked up to his bike, gathering David with his arm on the way. He smelled of warm leather and the spicy cologne David liked so much. With Raja at his side, David felt completely safe, protected by the strongest man he knew.
“Let’s go and have some fun,” said Raja, handing David a spare helmet.
Even through his tears, David smiled at Raja as he mounted the bike behind him. “I love you,” he whispered into the back of Raja’s vest.
Raja smiled, and his eyes glinted with a softness David didn’t see in them frequently. He turned around and pressed his lips against David’s forehead.
David wrapped his arms around Raja’s waist, and they were off.
Chapter 18
David didn’t even know how much time passed, but once he got on the back of Raja’s bike, they didn’t stop for ages. It was for the better wherever they were going. The heat of Raja’s body against his own calmed David down like the softest blanket, and the breeze of air against his skin cooled him off. He didn’t yet know how he would deal with the mess Joseph put him in, but it didn’t matter now.
Raja had come for him.
They eventually left the highway and drove into a quiet neighborhood with a lot of greenery, but it was only when Raja stopped the bike in an elongated parking lot between a group of identical three-story buildings that David understood they had reached their destination. With the bike parked in a numbered spot, Raja finally pulled off his helmet and goggles.
“You good?” he asked, dismounting the bike as soon as David was off.
“Better.” His knees felt like jelly, so he held on to Raja’s arm. “I’m sorry I called you out of the blue. It was a disaster.” Yet Raja still didn’t leave him hanging.
Raja sighed and pulled David under his arm. “It’s fine. I was close by anyway. But I would have come even if I was home. Your text was alarming,” he said as they stepped closer to one of the doors leading inside the building. It seemed that each entrance provided access to three apartments.
David wrapped his fingers around Raja’s hand. “It was bad. Joseph was prodding me about my sexuality and you, and w
hen I made him go away, he told my parents about me. I couldn’t lie anymore. It didn’t feel right.”
Raja rubbed his fingers over David’s arm while he opened the door with his other hand. His apartment was on the second floor, and when they entered, David was surprised to see a place so tidy and sparsely decorated. He never thought of people like Raja as neat freaks, but the cool colors and straight lines of furniture had a calming effect on David’s bruised mind.
“It was the right thing to do,” said Raja after a long period of silence.
David stood on his toes and pulled Raja into a kiss. “Thank you for punching Joseph. He deserved it.”
Raja locked the door behind them and grinned, playing with David’s hair. “You should do it too the next time you see him. I could teach you a technique or two,” he said, and his fingertips skimmed over David’s purity ring.
“You would? I actually wanted to get into boxing a few years ago, but Mom insisted it was for ‘brutes’ so I settled on track.” All alone with Raja, David could breathe freely. He wouldn’t have to face the world until leaving this apartment.
Raja’s eyes were dark and mysterious as he chewed on what David told him. He picked up David’s hand and tapped the ring more obviously. “Tell me, do you want to enter my home in this?”
David swallowed and stared at the ring with a deep sigh. Whether there was any prospect of marriage for him in the future or not or not, he had deep feelings for Raja, and whatever would happen between them would be important. And it wouldn’t make him ‘impure’ for that matter. He slowly took the ring off, and, with his heart thudding, he placed it in Raja’s palm. “I want you to take it,” he whispered.
Raja closed his hand over the ring and slowly turned, locking David against the door. The fresh scent of his powerful frame had David gasping for breath even before Raja touched him.
“I will. I’m gonna take good care of it,” he whispered.
Heart Ripper Page 18
