“I’ll probably stay at Hunter’s for a longer while now that the cat’s out of the bag. I like working at the shop, and I can see myself learning new skills there. What about your plans for the near future?”
Raja’s eyes glinted for the first time since David entered the room. “It’s going great. We might have business coming our way, and if that happens, we could finally have a real clubhouse again. The replacement we occupy now is so pathetic we didn’t invite anyone yet. Don’t tell Hunter.”
David’s heart fluttered. Raja trusted him, told him all sorts of secrets. “I won’t. What kind of business?”
Raja poked David’s nose. “I can’t say. It’s club-related. But it could be very lucrative,” he said, proud as a peacock.
David pouted, suddenly nervous as he remembered Joseph’s claims about bikers. “But it won’t get you in trouble?”
Raja’s smirk told David all the things he shouldn’t know. “It’s club business,” he repeated.
David sighed and pushed into a hug. He put his cheek on Raja’s shoulder, oddly satisfied by the slightly sore feeling in his ass. He was Raja’s now, and he would do whatever it took to stay at his boyfriend’s side. Raja wasn’t just sexy and mysterious either. No one had ever listened to David the way Raja did. With him, David could bare himself and not be afraid of judgement.
Raja chugged the rest of his coffee and rushed to the bedroom. “Come on, you’re gonna need something warm for riding a motorcycle at night.”
David stampeded behind him with a happy squee.
*
The wind blowing into David’s face was such a shocking contrast to the way Raja’s firm, sturdy body fit against his chest when they rode through the empty streets. It was dark, and with just the streetlights illuminating their way, the world looked enchanted. He wasn’t the type of person to do this kind of thing. Not the kind of person to sleep with a man, not the kind of person to disrespect his parents’ wishes, not the kind of person to go on a crazy ride through town in the middle of the night, and yet it felt so natural. Like he’d been living underwater and only now realized that he actually needed to breathe.
Once Raja drove into a smaller alleyway between industrial buildings, David could hear the sounds of music and people laughing somewhere far away, but the area they were in seemed deserted. Tall gray houses with not more than a few lights in the windows, and barely any traffic.
With their ride slowing down on the empty road, David turned his head to the other side and looked at the only structure ahead. They were approaching a gas station, with an awning above the forecourt and all, but with a metal fence built around it. It seemed that the place was currently undergoing repairs. Light was peeking from between the curtains drawn in the big windows of the station’s convenience store, but before David could wonder why builders were working so late at night, Raja drove through the open gate and into the forecourt. Now that they were underneath the awning, David noticed motorcycles parked there and remembered what Raja had said about his temporary clubhouse.
The curtain moved, and a bearded face appeared in the gap between two flaps of fabric before disappearing when Raja gestured at the unfamiliar man. He then looked back at David with a half smile and pulled off his helmet.
“It shouldn’t take long, but better keep a low profile. They know I could have been with a hookup when they called me up, so as long as you just stay here, nobody’s gonna care,” Raja said as he pulled David’s hood over his head, leaving David taken aback.
“Oh… okay. Aren’t you openly gay?” Their night suddenly didn’t feel all that significant.
Raja stepped back and glanced toward the window. “I am, but it’s gonna be uncomfortable for them. It’s better if you just stay here for now, and we’ll head out as soon as I’m done, okay?”
David nodded and pulled the hood lower over his face to hide his disappointment. He’d been sure that now that he was out as well, there would be no reason for secrecy about their relationship. Was Raja embarrassed to be hanging out with someone as young as David?
“Does this place have restrooms?” he mumbled.
Raja was already on his way to the front door, which had the glass covered with cardboard from the inside. He looked back and swirled his index finger in the air before making a broad movement with his hand. “Behind the building. It’s not great, but they work.”
David took a deep breath of warm air. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing here anymore. His outfit consisting of his dress shoes and church-jeans on the bottom but a band T-shirt and a hoodie on top, summed up his life right now. He was not the good boy anymore, but not exactly a bad boy either. Good enough to fuck, but not good enough to meet Raja’s friends.
When Raja disappeared behind the door, and when David looked around the empty street and the damaged asphalt underneath the awning above, he got a distinct feeling of being stuck. Just half an hour ago, he’d felt on top of the world with Raja by his side, but now it seemed that he had been feeding himself illusions.
He took a lazy stroll around the old station, but he couldn’t really see much in the darkness. His dress shoes dipped into mud, and he scowled in disgust. This place was nothing like the warmth of Raja’s bed. Maybe he shouldn’t have come here and let the dream that Raja wanted all of him last a bit longer.
Away from the streetlights at the front of the station it was completely dark, so he pulled out his cell phone and lit the way through the sparse grass, all the way to a small building with a faded picture of stick figures painted on the side wall.
Just as he was approaching, someone flushed the toilet behind one of the doors, and a tall man in a leather vest with patches at the front stumbled outside. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he spotted David in the dark.
“This is private property,” said the guy in a low voice that sent a tremble down David’s back. He was now pretty sure he’d seen the man at Hunter’s party. He’d been standing with Raja when Hunter introduced David to both the men. Blade was his nickname.
“Y-yes, that’s fine, I’m here with Raja.” David mumbled and bowed his head lower to hide his face underneath the hood. As much as he hated hiding like this, he didn’t want to disappoint Raja.
Blade relaxed, and a sharp grumble of a laugh came out of his lips. “Oh, you’re one of Raja’s pretty boys,” he said and bent his knees, trying to look beneath the hood. “Let me look at you. We can’t have our prez fucking a cock-roach.”
So this wasn’t the first time Raja brought a guy over for an emergency meeting. Did he always tell them to wait outside, like they were dogs waiting for their owner in front of a supermarket? David took a step back, but Blade grabbed the front of his hoodie. Before David could react, Blade pulled his hood higher and grabbed David’s jaw, turning his face toward the moon.
Blade’s rough-looking face relaxed, and he blinked, eventually letting go. “I’ll be damned. You’re Hunter’s little brother.”
Heat rushed up to David’s face, and he couldn’t take this treatment anymore. “So what?” he barked in a voice he could hardly recognize. It had to be the pent-up anger from the fight at the church that had him so aggressive.
“I thought he dropped the bet. I—” Blade covered his mouth and stepped back with a frown. “Forget it.”
David swallowed, suddenly sensing the ground crumbling around him. “What bet?”
Blade sighed and kicked a small stone from underneath his feet. “I shouldn’t have said anything. But the truth is that Hunter doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.”
“There’s a bet against Hunter?” David shook his head, ready to grab Blade’s arm if he dared to walk away after teasing him.
Blade groaned and looked at David in a way that had his stomach plummeting. “Actually, if this is still going on, you should know. Raja thought you looked gay at the party, and he made a bet that he’s gonna fuck you to prove it. There,” said Blade, watching David with a stern face.
At first, David’s mi
nd went blank, but then his heart started racing, forcing his memory to rake every detail of his initial interactions with Raja. Would the bet be why Raja pursued him so aggressively at times? Even an ‘oh’ wouldn’t leave David’s lips. Despite the ups and downs, he’d been certain he and Raja shared a real connection.
Who was he lying to? He was in love with Raja, and even thinking about this revelation had his vision going blurry. What if Raja came to his rescue today knowing that David would be vulnerable? Knowing that he’d get to fuck David and finally win the bet?
“He won,” David mumbled. “Hope he’s happy.” He turned around and didn’t care about taking a piss anymore. He just wanted to be out of here.
“Sorry kid,” said Blade behind him, but his voice was coming with an odd echo, as if he were far away. “Raja’s a good friend, but he’s a manwhore. I don’t think Hunter would be happy about this.”
David’s heart ached so bad he was getting nauseated. He’d given Raja his purity ring. What if Raja had been having sex with lots of other guys while they were dating? Wasn’t that the exact same thing Lucky said about Raja? David should have known better, but he’d let raw lust cloud his mind and ignored all the red flags.
David choked on air and sped up to get out of this hellhole of a place. He rushed through the mud, spraying it all over his church pants and headed for the gate, past Raja’s bike where he’d been hugging his first ever lover just minutes ago.
Tears fell down his cheeks as soon as he reached the road. He didn’t know where to, but he started walking faster anyway. He’d been so stupid. Why would someone like Raja be into him in the first place? Why would he go through all the trouble when he surely had a phone packed with numbers of eager hookups? Yet another reason for Raja to be so vague about their relationship status.
Why wouldn’t David’s chest stop aching? In a desperate attempt to soothe the pain, he started doing the one thing he was good at.
He ran.
Ran until the night swallowed him whole.
Chapter 20
David managed to catch a bus after a long run down the road. He turned off his cell phone, too afraid of all the texts he was receiving. He wanted to be alone, yet the long trip home didn’t make him feel any better. His thoughts were an unstoppable tide of worries, regrets, and memories of the time he’d spent with Raja. He’d probably have to face him again at some point, and what would he say to him then? ‘How could you have let me fall in love with you when it was just a game’?
Just thinking about this made David crave a hole in the ground where he could bury himself forever. Just hours ago, he’d let Raja fuck him, and it turned out that the encounter that for David was a magical experience, for Raja was just another time he’d had sex. There were no emotions attached to any of it and no regrets for him. There had David been thinking that the relationship somehow made him more of an adult, but it turned out he’d been played like a little child.
As he approached Hunter’s house, his feet were like two bricks he had to drag behind him. The last thing he needed now was to face the brother who’d been nothing but kind to him, and admit that he’d lied about his sexuality. The sun was slowly rising far away, giving the air a cool tint. David used to enjoy working in the garden in the mornings, but now all he wanted was to cover himself with a blanket and never wake up again.
There was light peeking out from behind the curtain in the kitchen, and it made David’s heart all the heavier. He couldn’t possibly just sneak into his room and pretend he fell asleep already when someone was awake in the house. Still, he walked up to the door and searched his backpack for the keys, blinking to keep his eyes clear.
Just a few hours ago, he’d thought all the things he’d done with Raja were the epitome of ‘cool’. Raja had punched Joseph, and David escaped from the scene with him on a freaking Harley! Now? He wasn’t sure anymore if all his recent actions weren’t proof of him being an out of control loser instead of an adventurous young guy breaking out of his shell.
He pushed the key into the lock and turned it, starting an avalanche of footsteps. The door sprang open before he could even grab the handle, revealing Hunter, who squinted against the light, fully dressed despite the early hour.
“Where the fuck have you been? Don’t you have a cell phone? Everyone’s worried sick about you!” he growled through his teeth.
David wished he could just pull the hood over his head and make it all go away. “I… I’m sorry. I had a bad night.” This was pathetic, he was fighting tears already. “Everyone?”
Hunter hissed in frustration and roughly pulled David inside. Asty was peeking out from the kitchen, a worried look on her face.
“Yes. Mom called us and told me what happened. What the hell? You’re fucking my friend behind my back and don’t even tell anyone where you are? I just returned from that bastard’s apartment, but he wasn’t there! That’s almost an hour’s ride one way, David!”
The ground under David’s feet became shaky, and the huge hoodie he was wearing was undeniable proof to anyone with eyes. Mom must have been desperate if she called Hunter.
“What did Mom say?” He hugged himself, unable to look into his brother’s eyes.
Hunter stepped back, and the brief silence that followed his question told David exactly how frustrated his brother was.
“She woke me up in the middle of the night and told me that at church you told them that you are gay, and then had a menacing Arab man pick you up and beat up the priest. She thought you’d come to your senses and come back in the evening, but when that didn’t happen, she decided her best bet was to wake me up and tell me that I made you like this... somehow. I don’t even want to know what she thinks our home life looks like if that’s her idea.”
“He’s not Arab!” David growled and spread his arms. “He’s Indian.”
Hunter groaned and rubbed his face. “No shit. A dark-skinned man with a beard on a black-and-white bike couldn’t be anyone else than our common former friend. Can’t believe he’d be seducing my little brother behind my back. What were you thinking, David?”
David looked at Asty, but there was no help coming from her side. “They were so angry with me. I failed at everything. I didn’t know what to do. It’s not his fault I’m this way either. I can go if you want. I’ve got some savings.” He rubbed his eyes.
Hunter grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “David look at me. Raja is not the right guy for you. He’s a manslut, and he’s clearly not trustworthy. If you mentioned this to any of us, we’d have told you to avoid him!”
David looked up, relieved that Hunter wasn’t mad at him for being gay, yet no less distressed over what happened tonight. “He lied to me. He made a bet with his friend over sleeping with me.” David let out a sob, curling his fists over the sleeves of Raja’s warm hoodie. “And I love him so much I just want to die.”
Hunter’s face fell, and he looked back at Asty, his eyes widening in panic. “Oh, no, no no… David, don’t say that. It’s going to be fine,” he said in the end and pulled David against his chest, patting him on the back with his fist.
“What’s wrong with him? Doesn’t he have the whole gay Tinder thing to fall back on for sex? Why would he be chasing down your brother?” asked Asty from up close, but David didn’t even want to open his eyes to look at her.
He sobbed again, making Hunter’s T-shirt damp with his tears, but he couldn’t hold them back anymore. His big brother’s presence was the one solid thing left in his life, and he’d hold on to it. “No one’s ever liked me the way he did. And it was all a lie. I’m so stupid. I thought I was so grown-up now because I have a job, and I can cook a few things.” He had to take a deep breath to be able to speak again. “Mom and Dad hate me, and you lost a friend because of me.”
Hunter’s chest hunched against David. “The disloyal fucker had it coming. Can’t believe he’d treat you like this. I just wanna break his arms!”
“David, I know you’re hurt, but you still ha
ve us,” said Asty, cuddling up against David from the other side. “He’s just a guy, and if that’s how he’s treated you, he’s not worth crying over.”
“I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want anyone ever. I opened up to him.” The last word got swallowed by another desperate sob.
“Motherfucker,” hissed Asty, pulling away, but Hunter held David tight against him. It felt nice. Father never held David this way, and right now this was just the support he needed to keep him on his feet.
Hunted sighed. “David, you’re only eighteen. It’s fine if you’re gay... although you should have stopped me from making an idiot out of myself by trying to set you up.”
“I told you it was a bad idea from the start,” Asty said.
David sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really understand what I was feeling very well. The last two months changed me so much. I only realized when I met up with Mom and Dad yesterday.” He finally pulled away and wiped his eyes with the sleeve. “I’m not what they’d want me to be. I never really was, and I can’t force myself to be. I’m not even going to college.”
Hunter grunted. “Okay? I mean... I disappointed them too. Welcome to the club.”
David snorted with laughter, even though he didn’t feel very joyful. The fact that Hunter accepted him so easily felt like at least one puzzle piece in his life going into the right slot. Too bad the puzzle would now never be finished with the Raja piece missing.
“So, can I stay here a while longer?”
“Yes,” Asty and Hunter said at once, and David could feel her slim hand ruffle his hair.
“Let’s make you some cocoa. We were having an early breakfast just now,” said Asty, and as she gravitated toward the kitchen, Hunter pulled David along as well.
David nodded, but he knew no amount of chocolate would ever heal his heart. Maybe now that his silly love dream got shattered he’d really become an adult?
Hunter sat him in a chair by the table, still holding David under his arm while Asty took a carton of milk out of the fridge.
Heart Ripper Page 21
